Chapter 9 Part 3A
Title: My Former Lovers and Her Daughter ~Chapter 9~
Author: Ha-chan and her recent craziness (akinoyama)
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Family Life, Romance, bit angst later…
Warnings: Unbetaed, AU, Hikaru and Yamada’re girl, Terrible English
Pairing: Yabu x Hikaru, Yabu x OC, Yabu x Yamada, Yamada x Yuuto, Yabu x Yuuto
Disclaimer: The plot
Synopsis: Yabu and Hikaru met after long years. And each other’s past connected them in somehow a way of sadness.
Summary: The real reason
A/N: It’s a request from stevenica . She wants a fic with Hikaru’s daughter. But somehow I don’t know why I make it into a multi-chapter one instead of a one-shot. Not to forget, thank you to my friend Hara-chan (blozzom_zone ) for giving her permission to use her name as Hikaru’s daughter. I hope you like your role here.
Chapter 1 Meeting You Once Again
Chapter 2 Hurting without You Here
Chapter 3 Spending Time with You
Chapter 4 Wishing with You Again
Chapter 5 Making You Cry and Hurt
Chapter 6 Loving, Hurting, Protecting, and Sacrificing
Chapter 7 Staying and Leaving
Chapter 8 Losing People Dear to You
~Chapter 9 Getting One Last Chance~
Part 3
Part 1 Part 2
“Uhm… I met someone else instead.” Hikaru replied.
“Yama-chan?” Yabu abruptly concluded when he heard Hikaru met someone else at his university. “Did she hurt you too back then????” Yabu frantically asked as he released his arms from Hikaru. He wished he would not hear about Yamada threatened Hikaru.
Hikaru shook her head while smiling faintly. “Don’t worry… Yamada-san didn’t hurt me physically at that time.” Hikaru retorted frankly, still in bitterness. She indeed had never talked or met face to face with Yamada. However, it was not a big deal for Yamada to stab her heart, to make her suffer for years, to make her lose the person she loved so much.
Yabu sighed in relief to know Yamada did not physically hurt Hikaru. He was nearly oblivious by the fact that Yamada actually still hurt Hikaru in other way. Just by her little action back then.
“And she’s not the person I met at your university. Instead, I met your other male friend.” Hikaru spoke again.
Yabu leaned Hikaru’s head on his shoulder, silently asking her to continue. He wondered since he never met Hikaru at his university either. And as long as his brain could store information about the past, he found no memories about his friends told him about Hikaru’s visit. Even for once. No one ever talked about it.
Hikaru gave no sign of objection as Yabu’s arm pulled her closer to him then lingering on her shoulder. The closeness between them somewhat gave courage to her to tell the things from her side. No matter how bitter and painful they were, the warmth she was feeling would always stay there for her, never leaving her again. “Firstly, your friend asked me what my relationship with you and I simply told him the truth. I introduced myself as your girlfriend who needed to talk to you. He simply nodded and kindly led me to your place.” Hikaru began then stopped again, putting string to all the things.
Yabu simply and happily flashed a small smile hearing Hikaru stated she was his girlfriend. He actually wanted to introduce her formally to his friends after her graduation, telling them how wonderful girlfriend he had back then. But, unfortunately, he never had that opportunity.
“On the way, we met your other male friend and he introduced me to him.” Hikaru said while two Yabu’s friends’ figures appeared on her sight. Contrast to Yabu whose face was handsome, his friends were more like cute and beautiful just like girls. “Unlike the first one, your second friend eyed me from head to toes while frowning and mumbling his surprise to know your taste of a girl.” She felt the uneasiness was just as same as back then. The way he stared at that time sent the feeling of aversion and the way he spoke clearly indicated his disliking of Yabu’s choice.
“When we reached where you were at that time…” Hikaru took a very deep breath before saying the next words. It was getting nearer the scene she wished not to be remembered. But… she could not help… she had to be strong to endure the pain in order to tell Yabu. To tell the man she loved why she left him. “I saw you were walking side by side with a very beautiful woman.” She continued on while tightly grabbing her clothes that covered her laps. It hurt but she had to tell Yabu, so she tried her best to endure her tears even though her voice kept cracking. “And… yeah… she’s Yamada-san.” She sniffled. “I-I… widely opened my eyes in a very great surprise…. when I saw you… and her… were… were… chatting happily… Just like… just like…” It felt so hard to tell what actually he saw about the two of them. “…a very… happy… couple.” She finally said it. Everyone would right away agree with her when they saw Yabu and Yamada together. Yabu gorgeous and Yamada beautiful. When they smiled, they brought light along them. When they talked, no one thought about breaking their conversation, just simply leaving them alone to have as much as time they wanted.
Yabu stole a glance one second at Hikaru but said nothing. He simply averted his gaze and stared far away, wondering and recalling his days at university while keeping his ears for Hikaru. What Hikaru said indeed was right. He and Yamada often were mistaken as a couple by many people just because they talked together. He always wondered alone why people could have such perception about them. Yamada, indeed, attractive… and sometimes was quite aggressive… but… he had Hikaru already, an angel Heaven had sent to him.
“Your friends then… then… started to laugh at me.” Hikaru bitterly added what Yabu’s friend had done to her when she came. “They even said… the woman who suited to you…. was her….. and… and… not…. me.” The crack of her voice clearly signaled the wound they had caused. She had tried her best to be the suitable girlfriend for Yabu but still Yabu’s new friends just like others who could not accept their love for each other.
“There was no way for me to beat Yamada-san. They advised me be-better…” She gulped. “be-better to leave you… before you… you… dumped me at first.” She was not able to hold the water from her eyes anymore. Thus, she let those to go down, wetting her cheeks. Up till now, she had no idea why Yabu’s friends could say something like that to her even though they knew she was their friend’s girlfriend. Why they gave no chance to her to show that Yabu actually loved her and vice versa.
“Then you believed all of their words…” Yabu assumed in half-questioned tone as he slightly narrowed his eyes. It was so easy to break their faith on each other that time. Really easy… was it?
“How could I not? I saw the two of you kissed afterwards!” Hikaru raised her voice as she pulled away from Yabu. The scene really hurt her so badly. Through her blur vision, she sharply stared at the man who was sitting beside her. “It hurt me, Yabu! So much!!!” She shouted in desperate way. “Can you not understand my feelings even just a little at that time??????????!!!!! I-I-… I came to find you! To discuss what the best we had to do!!!! But what I GOT???” She snapped. “Only… hurt…” She wiped her tears alone just like that day. She came to meet Yabu in hope but in the end came back with nothing but disappointment and a very deep wound.
They stayed in silence for next few minutes. Hikaru needed time to catch her breath after yelling at Yabu. Something, she did once in a blue moon. Meanwhile Yabu shut his eyes tightly in order to keep his tears on his eyes. He knew it truly hurt her, to see him kissed other girl, but could Hikaru not trust him enough that he would not do that to Hikaru? He had promised he would come back for her, hadn’t he? He would always be waiting the day they could be together again. He kept staying to love her only. Another thing bothered him was why Hikaru did not approach him to ask an explanation after slapping him.
“What happened afterwards?” Yabu asked after ensuring himself Hikaru got enough time to calm down. “Why did you end up living here?” He was curious why Hikaru had to go so far to this little town. In his opinion, she did not have to do it. If she had stayed there, he would have known about Chihara and given his responsibility earlier. They would not have got apart like this, suffering for years.
Hikaru averted her gaze from Yabu, looking down. “Your friends then dragged me from your place and took me to the gate.” She held her wrist, feeling how tight Yabu’s friends gripped her small wrist. The grip obviously gave her pain but she could not feel it at all since the image of Yabu and Yamada kissed hurt her the most. She even could not see or remember anything except the moment Yamada tiptoed and pulled Yabu closer to her despite the laughter that echoed as clear as bell in her ears. What she remembered was the three of them already reached the main entrance of the university. “They asked me to disappear from you forever and find another boy to love.”
Yabu bit his lower lip so hard to keep silent while clenching his fist to endure his anger. To be honest he wanted to yell. His heart had been cursed the people whom Hikaru met at that day silently. What the hell by asking his beloved girlfriend to get lost from him for the rest of life, even ordering her to look for another boy? Were they oblivious by the fact that having to see Hikaru once a month was torturing him very much? So… could they imagine how his life would turn out to be when Hikaru really leave him? He believed they were absolutely not his friends who had told all of those to his poor girlfriend. Many people were studying at his university and anyone could introduce themselves as his friends to the oblivious Hikaru. His friends would not unkindly treat her.
“After being said that, I simply went home, heartbroken and started to hate you.” What other thing Hikaru could do besides going back home? At that day, she had no will to meet Yabu again. She did not want to hear anything from Yabu or anything related to him because it would only hurt her. Yabu would only tell her lies about he loved her and she did not want to live in fake love Yabu gave. “But…” She softly mumbled again. “Even though I hated you, I found no hatred to the life on my belly that time. No matter how many times I thought, my heart always said that it’s still my own baby who had full rights to live on.” She remembered the days and nights she had spent to decide whether she should abort the baby or not. “Then I realized I already loved my baby… thus… I never found any courage to kill the little life.”
Yabu’s heart cringed. It was the second time he heard Hikaru said she hated him. And that word would always stab his heart. His heart shrank to hear Hikaru’s decision. It was not a simple and easy decision for Hikaru to keep their baby alive. Moreover, by the fact she actually hated the father and never letting him know any single thing.
Keeping Chihara alive on her belly was the decision which had many consequences. She had to hide her stomach that getting bigger day after day from other people including her parents. But she forgot, before her parents became parents, they simply also children of her grandparents. Therefore, it was not strange when they figured out that their daughter was expecting no matter Hikaru tried to deny it.
“Hika…”
Yabu’s soft call brought Hikaru back from her memories. She turned to Yabu and stared in bewilderment. “What?”
Yabu sighed, knowing Hikaru did not notice he had been calling for her repeatedly. She must be drowning in her thoughts all alone, recalling all of her struggles in order to keep Chihara from harm since she was on her belly until she came out to see the world and reached this age. “Then?”
One single word from Yabu gave Hikaru no choice but resumed her story. She leaned her back to the bench. “I tried to act as if nothing happened. Just lived on as usual as I could while trying to hide my pregnancy to others and also avoiding the questions about how my relationship with you was.” In the memories of her last months on high school, Hikaru always found a way to change the topic about her relationship with Yabu when she had light chatting with her friends. She did not want to reminiscence the day she witnessed Yabu cheated on her. It was enough Yabu and Yamada’s image haunted her every nights. She did not want to add the time remembering those two along with Yabu’s friends.
“After the national test over… I couldn’t force myself to come to the school anymore. I could not let people see my obvious swollen abdomen.” It was not strange at all if Hikaru eventually lost her face to people who used to know her and vice versa by her condition. “And then I ran away from home.” She added on. Running away from home was another big decision she made after keeping her baby alive and trying to erase Yabu from her memories and life forever. She was sad… really… not only because making her parents ashamed but also the sadness for leaving a couple whom she loved so dearly. The two people who had protected her all the time.
“I did not want to be a burden for my parents and made them get embarrassed because of my pregnancy. They had raised and gave me their love, but what I’d done to them as a payback???” She muttered, slightly mocked at herself. “I couldn’t keep their honors. That’s why I didn’t come to my graduation ceremony.” She added in bitter and regret tone. She was sad and guilty for failing keeping her parents’ trust to her. At first, She kept refusing to tell them whom the father of her baby. She wanted to keep all of her faults alone, without involving her dearest parents. However, she changed her mind when her father threatened to ask Yabu by himself or even dragging him in front of her. She really had determined herself to erase Yabu from her life no matter how hard and pain it was. She prevented the disappointment of her child to know what kind of father s/he had as earlier as possible. He was simply an unfaithful man.
Yabu took a deep breath. He felt guilty… very much… It was also a part of his fault. As the older one than Hikaru, he should have shown how to love someone properly and be responsible. He must not only disappointed Hikaru but also her parents. They should have blamed Hikaru for choosing him as her boyfriend. And he was sure he had turned to be a very irresponsible man in their eyes.
“Then I came here, getting lost from people who could recognize me. Met with Nakajima-sensei, Arioka’s family, Ha-chan’s late parents along with their family, and also Keito. They gives many helps for me.” She was really grateful to have those kind people during her hard times. They sincerely helped her and comforted her feelings during the pregnancy even up till now. Unfortunately, Ha-chan’s parents had to go to the nirvana in a very short time after their meeting. Ha-chan’s mother was also expecting just like her, making their friendship was so close and it also reflected on their children, Chihara and Ha-chan. The two of them was really close since they had been raised together along with Daiki as their older brother. Ha-chan’s mother always invited her to go the hospital together to check on their babies. She even frequently bought her packs of milk, obviously, special for expecting mother. But, sometimes, she could not deny the fact she was jealous since Ha-chan’s mother had her husband by her side, unlike her. And yesterday, she also just lost Nakajima, one of her best friends, forever by his sudden death which no one ever imagined before.
Silently, Yabu thanked people whom Hikaru mentioned. All of them had been taking care Hikaru and Chihara until he could find a chance to meet them. He could not imagine what if Hikaru had met bad guys instead in her running away. Would he meet them? Would he still know Chihara, his daughter?
“In the end, I gave my birth here. My parents also came to visit me for several times after I gave birth. Keito accidentally met them and brought them here to meet me and their grand daughter.” She would never forget the day Keito made her and her parents reunited. She always thought there was no way for her to come back to their lives after what happened. But just like people said… ‘in this world, there’re former friend, former lover, former husband, former wife but… there would never be former father, former mother, or even former children’.
“At first, I got scared they would get mad at me but they didn’t scold me at all. The most important for them was to know that I was alright and so was my baby. They also told me that they did not mind about Hara-chan. She’s still their grand daughter and they love her.” Hikaru ended her story, feeling so light and relief after spilling it to Yabu.
Yabu threaded his fingers on his hair as leaned his back on the bench, taking some fresh air and calming down. All of time that had passed, he always wondered the reason why Hikaru disappeared from his life. He obviously did not want to believe that rumour back then. But… it could not be helped… he was so angry and confused until he could not think clearly. And now… he had figured out the real reason from Hikaru herself that she saw he cheated on her while expecting their child. He believed in Hikaru’s story-not fully though-because there was something that should be cleared up.
“Hikaru…” He called. “I’ve heard your story and now…” He bit his lower lip.
“Now?” Hikaru urged.
“Will you listen to me? About my relationship with Yama-chan when I was still with you…”
Hikaru silently yet confusedly stared at Yabu. He asked her to listen to him about something that was obviously clear. What Yabu intended to say now? A defense or denial? Should they start arguing each other?
“Hika…”
Again… Yabu’s call snapped Hikaru from her inner thoughts. She looked Yabu was still waiting for her answer. She simply shook her head, signaling her objection to listen. She did not want to hear Yabu denied he had cheated on her or the worst…. Admitted it…. admitted he had another girl he loved.
Yabu sighed. He had predicted Hikaru wanted not to hear anything from him but he could not give it up now. She had to know the truth about his relationship with Yamada. “Hika…” He said while brought his hand on Hikaru’s. “Please…” He pleaded. “It’s important.”
Hikaru simply looked away. She could not stand seeing Yabu pleaded on her.
Tsudzuku....
Indonesia, 2010 June 06
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Behind the story:
Since this part reached 6,000 words... I divided it in two parts....
GOMEN nasai.... for writing long story....