Insomnia FTW, srsly
Crazy heat lightning out there tonight. It's just going on and on. Pretty amazing; I haven't seen lightning like this since I moved here. I keep hearing little grumbles of thunder, too, and thinking how wonderful it'd be if it turned into a storm. It won't, but I so wish it would; I haven't seen a thunderstorm in three years.
Meanwhile, I can't sleep, and it's turning into a problem. I've slipped from just plain not-sleeping into lying in bed dwelling on everything in my entire life that I'm not satisfied with, and believe me, when I'm in this sort of mood that's a long list. Which I promise I'm not going to detail for you. The problem, I think, is twofold: part one is not being able to settle into the new place (and the process of gradually finding all the nitpicky little things I don't like about it to contrast everything that I already found that I do), and part two is High School Reunion Syndrome. Which is a trap I promised myself I was not going to fall into, but here I am, late at night, moaning about the fact that I'm Almost Thirty and Nothing Ever Changes. *clutches her left arm tragically*
The point is that this is a stupid thing to be doing right now. We have a brand-shiny-new condo that we can do with what we please, we finally finished cleaning out the old place and officially bid it good-bye, three weeks of spending every hour of every day packing and cleaning and painting and hauling are over, we're getting our new carpets tomorrow instead of two weeks from now (thank GOD) so we can finally start settling in properly, and in a week I'm going home. Going to see friends I haven't seen since high school! Going to see my family! It will be lovely and I can't wait. So I need to quit whining to myself. Lying in bed awake at two AM is poison.
Instead, I'm going to launch a new project. I'm going to do at least one thing every day (excepting the days I'm out of town) to make this place more beautiful. I will not put pressure on myself to do everything I want to at once; I don't have the money and the sheer magnitude of everything I'd love to do is overwhelming. But at least one thing every day, that's not too much at all.
Of course, for the next week it may have to be more than one thing, 'cause man, there's a lot to be done. ^^; I wish I could sleep.
Maybe I'll go install some hooks in my closet.
Meanwhile, I can't sleep, and it's turning into a problem. I've slipped from just plain not-sleeping into lying in bed dwelling on everything in my entire life that I'm not satisfied with, and believe me, when I'm in this sort of mood that's a long list. Which I promise I'm not going to detail for you. The problem, I think, is twofold: part one is not being able to settle into the new place (and the process of gradually finding all the nitpicky little things I don't like about it to contrast everything that I already found that I do), and part two is High School Reunion Syndrome. Which is a trap I promised myself I was not going to fall into, but here I am, late at night, moaning about the fact that I'm Almost Thirty and Nothing Ever Changes. *clutches her left arm tragically*
The point is that this is a stupid thing to be doing right now. We have a brand-shiny-new condo that we can do with what we please, we finally finished cleaning out the old place and officially bid it good-bye, three weeks of spending every hour of every day packing and cleaning and painting and hauling are over, we're getting our new carpets tomorrow instead of two weeks from now (thank GOD) so we can finally start settling in properly, and in a week I'm going home. Going to see friends I haven't seen since high school! Going to see my family! It will be lovely and I can't wait. So I need to quit whining to myself. Lying in bed awake at two AM is poison.
Instead, I'm going to launch a new project. I'm going to do at least one thing every day (excepting the days I'm out of town) to make this place more beautiful. I will not put pressure on myself to do everything I want to at once; I don't have the money and the sheer magnitude of everything I'd love to do is overwhelming. But at least one thing every day, that's not too much at all.
Of course, for the next week it may have to be more than one thing, 'cause man, there's a lot to be done. ^^; I wish I could sleep.
Maybe I'll go install some hooks in my closet.