(no subject)
Call me sad if you like, but I set my alarm for 8am so I could be up and ready in time in case the day was nice.
It seemed that the weathermen had lied because instead of a clear blue sky as 'promised', there were a few large-ish clouds skidding across the sky at a fast rate of knots. Great, so it's windy, too.
However the wind was brisk but not inconvenient. I was outside by around 10:30 and I got the lawn mowed and the flower beds re-dug.
Zak even asked me later how I managed to mow the lawn, so I said "I used the lawnmower"... What he meant was that he usually takes the mower in and out of the cupboard for me, in case I catch a nail doing so myself. However I am more than capable of doing this myself and as long as I am careful, I don't catch a nail!
I then sat outside for a couple of hours with my book; the front step is in a corner next to the door to the bin cupboard, so it serves as a nice little sun trap. The projecting bin cupboard serves as a wind break and it was lovely and warm sat there, with hardly any wind to bother me.
I walked to the gym and had a kind of panic attack/anxiety attack as I was in my shorts and gym bra-top; it seems people cannot comprehend the concept of 'nice weather = small(er) clothing', especially on ladies and I got a few stares which made me a touch self-conscious. Being at the wrong end of my monthly cycle didn't help matters and once inside the gym I unfortunately had a weepy moment in the loos which I thought I had controlled, but had a relapse as I was about to start on the cross-trainer. It was all in my head, I had been looking at my reflection and seeing someone fat, bloated and puffy, and loathing it. I was loathing my body. Of course I knew it was all in my head, that my hormones were distorting my view of reality but when it hits, it hits so suddenly and so hard, my heart was racing and I was trembling slightly, too.
I often notice subtle changes in my physique as my monthly comes round. In the week or two prior to it hitting, I definitely feel flabbier. It's not flab, it's water retention. I know that. Once I reach mid-cycle everything goes tight again so I know the effect is temporary. Only others don't see it. Everyone else sees me as the same slim and toned person that I usually am. Why do I feel like a sodding whale when I look perfectly fine to everyone else?
Does anyone else (female) get that "feel like the size of a house" when the monthly is due?