I hate crying.  It HURTS.  My bood pressure spikes and I get a splitting headache every time I cry.  BUT - I learned the weekend before last that my reaction to tear-inducing hurt is anger and when I get angry I'm entirely too skillful at eviscerating my husband.  :-(  That provoked a teary-eyed apology when I realized what I had said, but damn! my ( Read more... )

We went to the memorial home today to prepare Pebblet for burial. A small bowl to bathe him, and a soft handkerchief for a towel. It only took one quarter of a soft handkerchief to swaddle him, and he is such a tiny, little bundle. We picked a pebbled stone mini keepsake urn for him, but it will be a couple of days before Pebblet can come home, ( Read more... )

Home again from the hospital.  Physically doing quite well, though planning to sleep for a coupla days straight ( Read more... )

We have lost the little one. The doctor couldn't find a heartbeat today at my scheduled checkup. Shabby ultrasound provoked a "This is not what I expected to see at this stage" and an immediate order for a good one. Pebblet has died. We'll check in to induce Friday, so we will get to hold Pebblet and say good-bye. Please pray for us as we grieve ( Read more... )