boys and soccer.
what a day.
I went to STA early in the AM to pick up my car.
then went home and vaccuumed the crap out of it and cleaned out all the junk.
then cleaned a little more.
then went to my sister's field hockey game...which was sooo boring, so little Gracie and I played for a while when we were waiting for the Somersworth boys' soccer bus to get there.
and then I saw him.
an orange shirt and gold aviators. I couldn't look at him. I could feel him looking at me a few times.
...seriously on the verge of tears. especially when Grace saw him and tugged his hand and pointed at me.
he looked at me, kinda did a double take, then looked away.
you know when people talk about others having that "look" in their eyes? that undescribable "look"?...I saw it and didn't know what to think.
then she started pulling him towards me, but he picked her up, hugged her, and put her down.
she had no clue.
when that happenned, I felt like just hugging him and crying.
but I sat there with Andy Osterloh (she goes to my church and we got to talk today, she's really nice) and watched the game...as he had his back turned to me.
I caught him looking out of the corner of his eye a few times and...oh man. why can't I get over this?
when the boys got back to our house (they lost 4-1) it was kinda awkward, but it got better. I talked to a few of the boys...especially the one that told Micah that he'd "mack on" me, haha...he's soo cute.
but again, I kept catching Micah's eye. we were forced to acknowledge eachother's presence a few times, which was pretty awkward but we just kinda laughed it off and walked away, haha.
but as the time progressed, I talked to him a little bit...just joking and teasing him like I always did when we were together. he was like...pinching me and playfully kicking and hitting me...and smiling at me and laughing and giving me all those looks. it was like that pre-dating flirty playfullness where you kind've can't keep your hands off of them but you restrain yourself as much as possible?
he stuck by my side the whole time...about a foot away, of course. he kept making jokes and looking at me more.
and the weird faces that I love so much.
they make me giggle, which I hate.
I giggled so much, damnit!
and there was a moment when he was walking behind me, said something and I wheeled around...our faces were 10 inches apart...
and there was the look again...with the raised eyebrows and puppy dog eyes, and I thought about kissing him...but I gave him a smile back and turned away.
I don't know what to think now. this is really confusing me.
I just want him back.
they left aroung 6:45ish...I got a hug goodbye and he was like "I'll talk to you online later"
I couldn't read his tone.
...and I got a text at 7 from none other than his royal amazingness:
"hey it was good seeing you today...even though you kept trying to beat me up the whole time"
seriously?
yowza.
I have this feeling in my gut that he still really likes me.
Wendy told me that he made a comment about how awesome the lasagna that her and I made a couple years ago was, and she said "well, you know there's a way so you can experience some more of that lasagna, right?"
and he gave her a look, and he was hurt. she told me that she knows he's still hurting.
good.
I hope he's still hurting as badly as I am.
I want him to know that things wont get better unless we work things out...even if we only have until Christmas to see each other.
I went to STA early in the AM to pick up my car.
then went home and vaccuumed the crap out of it and cleaned out all the junk.
then cleaned a little more.
then went to my sister's field hockey game...which was sooo boring, so little Gracie and I played for a while when we were waiting for the Somersworth boys' soccer bus to get there.
and then I saw him.
an orange shirt and gold aviators. I couldn't look at him. I could feel him looking at me a few times.
...seriously on the verge of tears. especially when Grace saw him and tugged his hand and pointed at me.
he looked at me, kinda did a double take, then looked away.
you know when people talk about others having that "look" in their eyes? that undescribable "look"?...I saw it and didn't know what to think.
then she started pulling him towards me, but he picked her up, hugged her, and put her down.
she had no clue.
when that happenned, I felt like just hugging him and crying.
but I sat there with Andy Osterloh (she goes to my church and we got to talk today, she's really nice) and watched the game...as he had his back turned to me.
I caught him looking out of the corner of his eye a few times and...oh man. why can't I get over this?
when the boys got back to our house (they lost 4-1) it was kinda awkward, but it got better. I talked to a few of the boys...especially the one that told Micah that he'd "mack on" me, haha...he's soo cute.
but again, I kept catching Micah's eye. we were forced to acknowledge eachother's presence a few times, which was pretty awkward but we just kinda laughed it off and walked away, haha.
but as the time progressed, I talked to him a little bit...just joking and teasing him like I always did when we were together. he was like...pinching me and playfully kicking and hitting me...and smiling at me and laughing and giving me all those looks. it was like that pre-dating flirty playfullness where you kind've can't keep your hands off of them but you restrain yourself as much as possible?
he stuck by my side the whole time...about a foot away, of course. he kept making jokes and looking at me more.
and the weird faces that I love so much.
they make me giggle, which I hate.
I giggled so much, damnit!
and there was a moment when he was walking behind me, said something and I wheeled around...our faces were 10 inches apart...
and there was the look again...with the raised eyebrows and puppy dog eyes, and I thought about kissing him...but I gave him a smile back and turned away.
I don't know what to think now. this is really confusing me.
I just want him back.
they left aroung 6:45ish...I got a hug goodbye and he was like "I'll talk to you online later"
I couldn't read his tone.
...and I got a text at 7 from none other than his royal amazingness:
"hey it was good seeing you today...even though you kept trying to beat me up the whole time"
seriously?
yowza.
I have this feeling in my gut that he still really likes me.
Wendy told me that he made a comment about how awesome the lasagna that her and I made a couple years ago was, and she said "well, you know there's a way so you can experience some more of that lasagna, right?"
and he gave her a look, and he was hurt. she told me that she knows he's still hurting.
good.
I hope he's still hurting as badly as I am.
I want him to know that things wont get better unless we work things out...even if we only have until Christmas to see each other.