Writing (BDSM) Rant Time!
Okay maybe in the future I'll write a full Writer's Tip for this subject but right now I just have to get this off my chest.
BDSM is a very broad category of activities that covers a lot of FUN things. So, when a scene is written well it's a fantastic thing that should be savoured. Especially when the vast majority of what is out there is utter CRAP!!!
Let's get something straight. Just because your character ties someone up and uses toys does NOT make it BDSM play.
Bondage
Domination
Submission (or Sadism)
Masochism
That's what BDSM is. And, as such, it's has serious psychological ramifications for those engaging in it. There must be lot of trust inherently in such a scene. Even in a causal setting, like a playparty where people pair off for engaging in individual scenes, proper aftercare is a MUST. Without it, people CAN become depressed and even suicidal in extreme cases. In less extreme cases, it causes trust issues and hard feelings, and results in people becoming VERY vanilla, since the after effects of play scares them.
Now if you write BDSM fics and are wondering what the hell aftercare is, please let me know so that I can hire some thugs to beat your ass!
Holy shit people! Do you have any idea how terrifying it is to read an awesome scene and then the Dom just walks out? Do you have any idea what that kind of behaviour could do to a sub's well-being? Yes, we're talking about fictional characters on a piece of paper (or a screen as the case my be), but here is your free clue of the day: the person reading your scene is NOT fictional. They are flesh and blood and may very well have experience with what you're describing. So, if you describe things that leave the reader going WFT?!?!?!?! because it goes against how the reader knows things work, then you've FAILED at writing. Rather spectacularly at that.
Sure, there are plenty of times when you want to surprise and startle the reader, but there ALWAYS has to be a reasoning behind it, preferably one that gets explained to the reader as part of the story. If things are just left dangling with no explanation you're probably going to either lose a reader or, worse, get your ass handed to you for writing (potentially dangerous) crap. Simply hand-waving things and assuming your reader is going to take it the way you intend is amateurish stupidity. If you write a scene with rough sex that leaves the bottom bleeding and limping (I'll rant about the limping trope another time) and then have your top sexing him up again, and lo and behold, the bottom is orgasming, well let's just say I'm doubting your sanity. You want to make it a crack fic? Okay, but bloody hell, TELL your reader! You're writing Dubcon? Okay, but you'd better explain WHY it's only dubious and not outright rape! You want your sub to give in to his Dom in a show of trust and submission? That's great, but the Dom had better be fucking taking CARE of the sub, rather than just tossing him aside once he gets his rocks off!
So please, THINK a little. Take a little extra time. And consider how to wrap things up so that the nothing is left to just dangle, unexplained and idiotic.
Now, all that said, if people want to me to write what proper aftercare IS and its psychological effects, let me know.
BDSM is a very broad category of activities that covers a lot of FUN things. So, when a scene is written well it's a fantastic thing that should be savoured. Especially when the vast majority of what is out there is utter CRAP!!!
Let's get something straight. Just because your character ties someone up and uses toys does NOT make it BDSM play.
Bondage
Domination
Submission (or Sadism)
Masochism
That's what BDSM is. And, as such, it's has serious psychological ramifications for those engaging in it. There must be lot of trust inherently in such a scene. Even in a causal setting, like a playparty where people pair off for engaging in individual scenes, proper aftercare is a MUST. Without it, people CAN become depressed and even suicidal in extreme cases. In less extreme cases, it causes trust issues and hard feelings, and results in people becoming VERY vanilla, since the after effects of play scares them.
Now if you write BDSM fics and are wondering what the hell aftercare is, please let me know so that I can hire some thugs to beat your ass!
Holy shit people! Do you have any idea how terrifying it is to read an awesome scene and then the Dom just walks out? Do you have any idea what that kind of behaviour could do to a sub's well-being? Yes, we're talking about fictional characters on a piece of paper (or a screen as the case my be), but here is your free clue of the day: the person reading your scene is NOT fictional. They are flesh and blood and may very well have experience with what you're describing. So, if you describe things that leave the reader going WFT?!?!?!?! because it goes against how the reader knows things work, then you've FAILED at writing. Rather spectacularly at that.
Sure, there are plenty of times when you want to surprise and startle the reader, but there ALWAYS has to be a reasoning behind it, preferably one that gets explained to the reader as part of the story. If things are just left dangling with no explanation you're probably going to either lose a reader or, worse, get your ass handed to you for writing (potentially dangerous) crap. Simply hand-waving things and assuming your reader is going to take it the way you intend is amateurish stupidity. If you write a scene with rough sex that leaves the bottom bleeding and limping (I'll rant about the limping trope another time) and then have your top sexing him up again, and lo and behold, the bottom is orgasming, well let's just say I'm doubting your sanity. You want to make it a crack fic? Okay, but bloody hell, TELL your reader! You're writing Dubcon? Okay, but you'd better explain WHY it's only dubious and not outright rape! You want your sub to give in to his Dom in a show of trust and submission? That's great, but the Dom had better be fucking taking CARE of the sub, rather than just tossing him aside once he gets his rocks off!
So please, THINK a little. Take a little extra time. And consider how to wrap things up so that the nothing is left to just dangle, unexplained and idiotic.
Now, all that said, if people want to me to write what proper aftercare IS and its psychological effects, let me know.