FRIEND CUT (Please Read)
Okaaay so this might make me seem like such a whiny bitch but I'd just like to say that before you judge me, I have my reasons. Said reasons may not make sense to you, but they mean something to me. I would understand if you find it trivial. Nevertheless, I just wanted to get this off my chest.
It's not as if I beg for comments because I believe that a person will comment when she feels that the fic she has read is worth her comment. God knows I couldn't care less about the number of comments. Don't get me wrong, I love getting comments. They make me feel all bubbly inside and reading them is indeed an instant pick-me-upper, a confidence booster. Needless to say, comments give me a high I couldn't quite explain. It need not be made up of just good things. Constructive criticism is something I welcome and take to heart. It gives me motivation, and perhaps, a desire to better my skills, if said skills are existent anyway.
What I'm saying is that, I don't care how many comments I get, as long as it's heartfelt. It is, after all, the only thing I get from this. We all know that we, fanfic writers, aren't paid a single cent for the hard work we put into our writing. But I don't mind. I do this not only for the readers, but for myself as well. Writing, for me, is a haven. An escape from reality. It allows me to get in touch with the emotions I cannot express fully IRL. Everything in here is just so surreal yet not any less wonderful.
Above all, I met wonderful friends through my writing. Simply put, I regret nothing.
Still, is a single "Hi" really that too much to ask?
I know it gets complicated from here and I guess I'd be contradicting myself when I say that I'm actually getting fed up with people who read my works yet are still to leave a single comment. A single one. One. Not lately, that is.
Well, expect perhaps for that single comment wherein they asked me to add them back. After that, people disappeared into thin air. Quite literally.
It just disappoints me that they couldn't even be bothered with saying a simple hi when they go through the trouble of reading my fics anyway. Why bother adding me in the first place? Oh yeah. Because I friend-locked my fics in the past. Somehow, it makes me feel as if I was somewhat used, betrayed, even. I don't know if it makes sense. It may seem melodramatic of me to think that way over something as petty as this, but that's how I feel. Don't worry, I won't be friend-locking my fics again just because of this. It's pointless, actually.
I know that my works aren't the best of fics. Heck, I know I'd be lucky if what I wrote got to belong to the upper half of the better fics. I acknowledge the fact that there are a gazillion more better writers than me out there but let me tell you this, I may not have the best English, my plots are most definitely cliché it's not even funny, my characterization sucks, my smuts are definitely not the hottest out there, I mix tenses up so bad, my vocabulary is so limited sometimes I just wanna cry, I am probably the worst updater in the planet, and the grammar police may always be around to get me especially when I fail to have my work beta'd, but I do try. Every word I write contains a piece of me. In fact, I try really hard I don't even know why I still do when some people, I'm not saying all, can't even be bothered with showing so much as an ounce of appreciation.
Don't ask me why I check the views on my fics. It's just a habit I've acquired through time. It just amuses me how I can troll those who troll me. Geddit? LOL
Then again, I don't really mind the occasional trolling. It's not as if you're obligated to read my stories anyway, much less comment on them. But there's just this thing about my memory being a pain that makes me recall the weirdest things. In this case, people's usernames. I don't really try to remember, I just do. And really, when your username comes up EVERY TIME I post a fic, I am bound to remember. Seriously.
Whenever I read other people's fics, I make it a point to drop a comment of some sort, no matter how short, because I know how simple things like that can mean so much to a writer. I don't know about others, but at least to me, it does. In the past, whenever I failed to leave a comment due to the hectic schedule I had in college, I always saw to it that I left the writer an explanation of some sort on Twitter, Tumblr, or elsewhere. And when I read a finished fic, I leave a comment on the last chapter, at least. And seriously, when the case is like that, I understand. I completely understand. School comes first. Any other argument is considered invalid.
You may say I'm being self-righteous here but believe me, I'm not. I don't intend to say that I'm clean. I have read fics wherein I failed to comment as well. But when I repetitively read fics from an author I have grown to like, I try my best to comment, even just once in a while. Why? Because I am thankful. Thankful for their hard work, thankful for their patience in updating, thankful for their faithfulness in this ship. Really thankful.
Well, that's about it. I just thought, why should I bother being "friends" with people who clearly aren't interested to be just that? Not even a single conversation? That says a lot and frankly, I understand. I know this is the internet, but I've met some of the best friends I could only dream of having here. It's still called "friends' list" anyway. And TBH, my friends' page is getting flooded.
I don't know why I'm doing this now when I was actually quite resigned to the fact that there's nothing I can do about this anymore. Still, it hurts. It hurts to have thought that what we had was a beautiful friendship. It hurts even more to have been let down by promises of friendship. Why did you even promise and give me false hopes? In all honesty, random adds are better than this.
I've talked about this with a friend and she feels the same way too. So I guess my feelings aren't that baseless? It must be the hormones. Shoot me. But now that it's out there, I just hope you'd understand if I delete you from my friends' list. No hard feelings. ^~^
To all my loyal readers, I know no words can fully express how grateful I am for your unending support. And to the silent readers who have decided to become otherwise, you have, in one way or another, motivated me to continue writing. You put up with all my shit and still manage to throw in a compliment or two. I really appreciate how you go through the trouble of commenting despite your busy schedules (you know who you people are ^^) and above all, asking me how I'm doing, even if it's just once in a while. But still, there's no other way to go about this. THANK YOU. SO SO SO MUCH.
Looking forward to more spazzing with you! I love you all! <3
It's not as if I beg for comments because I believe that a person will comment when she feels that the fic she has read is worth her comment. God knows I couldn't care less about the number of comments. Don't get me wrong, I love getting comments. They make me feel all bubbly inside and reading them is indeed an instant pick-me-upper, a confidence booster. Needless to say, comments give me a high I couldn't quite explain. It need not be made up of just good things. Constructive criticism is something I welcome and take to heart. It gives me motivation, and perhaps, a desire to better my skills, if said skills are existent anyway.
What I'm saying is that, I don't care how many comments I get, as long as it's heartfelt. It is, after all, the only thing I get from this. We all know that we, fanfic writers, aren't paid a single cent for the hard work we put into our writing. But I don't mind. I do this not only for the readers, but for myself as well. Writing, for me, is a haven. An escape from reality. It allows me to get in touch with the emotions I cannot express fully IRL. Everything in here is just so surreal yet not any less wonderful.
Above all, I met wonderful friends through my writing. Simply put, I regret nothing.
Still, is a single "Hi" really that too much to ask?
I know it gets complicated from here and I guess I'd be contradicting myself when I say that I'm actually getting fed up with people who read my works yet are still to leave a single comment. A single one. One. Not lately, that is.
Well, expect perhaps for that single comment wherein they asked me to add them back. After that, people disappeared into thin air. Quite literally.
It just disappoints me that they couldn't even be bothered with saying a simple hi when they go through the trouble of reading my fics anyway. Why bother adding me in the first place? Oh yeah. Because I friend-locked my fics in the past. Somehow, it makes me feel as if I was somewhat used, betrayed, even. I don't know if it makes sense. It may seem melodramatic of me to think that way over something as petty as this, but that's how I feel. Don't worry, I won't be friend-locking my fics again just because of this. It's pointless, actually.
I know that my works aren't the best of fics. Heck, I know I'd be lucky if what I wrote got to belong to the upper half of the better fics. I acknowledge the fact that there are a gazillion more better writers than me out there but let me tell you this, I may not have the best English, my plots are most definitely cliché it's not even funny, my characterization sucks, my smuts are definitely not the hottest out there, I mix tenses up so bad, my vocabulary is so limited sometimes I just wanna cry, I am probably the worst updater in the planet, and the grammar police may always be around to get me especially when I fail to have my work beta'd, but I do try. Every word I write contains a piece of me. In fact, I try really hard I don't even know why I still do when some people, I'm not saying all, can't even be bothered with showing so much as an ounce of appreciation.
Don't ask me why I check the views on my fics. It's just a habit I've acquired through time. It just amuses me how I can troll those who troll me. Geddit? LOL
Then again, I don't really mind the occasional trolling. It's not as if you're obligated to read my stories anyway, much less comment on them. But there's just this thing about my memory being a pain that makes me recall the weirdest things. In this case, people's usernames. I don't really try to remember, I just do. And really, when your username comes up EVERY TIME I post a fic, I am bound to remember. Seriously.
Whenever I read other people's fics, I make it a point to drop a comment of some sort, no matter how short, because I know how simple things like that can mean so much to a writer. I don't know about others, but at least to me, it does. In the past, whenever I failed to leave a comment due to the hectic schedule I had in college, I always saw to it that I left the writer an explanation of some sort on Twitter, Tumblr, or elsewhere. And when I read a finished fic, I leave a comment on the last chapter, at least. And seriously, when the case is like that, I understand. I completely understand. School comes first. Any other argument is considered invalid.
You may say I'm being self-righteous here but believe me, I'm not. I don't intend to say that I'm clean. I have read fics wherein I failed to comment as well. But when I repetitively read fics from an author I have grown to like, I try my best to comment, even just once in a while. Why? Because I am thankful. Thankful for their hard work, thankful for their patience in updating, thankful for their faithfulness in this ship. Really thankful.
Well, that's about it. I just thought, why should I bother being "friends" with people who clearly aren't interested to be just that? Not even a single conversation? That says a lot and frankly, I understand. I know this is the internet, but I've met some of the best friends I could only dream of having here. It's still called "friends' list" anyway. And TBH, my friends' page is getting flooded.
I don't know why I'm doing this now when I was actually quite resigned to the fact that there's nothing I can do about this anymore. Still, it hurts. It hurts to have thought that what we had was a beautiful friendship. It hurts even more to have been let down by promises of friendship. Why did you even promise and give me false hopes? In all honesty, random adds are better than this.
I've talked about this with a friend and she feels the same way too. So I guess my feelings aren't that baseless? It must be the hormones. Shoot me. But now that it's out there, I just hope you'd understand if I delete you from my friends' list. No hard feelings. ^~^
To all my loyal readers, I know no words can fully express how grateful I am for your unending support. And to the silent readers who have decided to become otherwise, you have, in one way or another, motivated me to continue writing. You put up with all my shit and still manage to throw in a compliment or two. I really appreciate how you go through the trouble of commenting despite your busy schedules (you know who you people are ^^) and above all, asking me how I'm doing, even if it's just once in a while. But still, there's no other way to go about this. THANK YOU. SO SO SO MUCH.
Looking forward to more spazzing with you! I love you all! <3