Family inclusion in a secular wedding
I’m 40 and I am about to get married for the second time. I would love to have a purely secular wedding this time (ie. No prayers or other hocus pockus.). I feel very strongly that religion is neither correct nor particularly moral (have you read the bible? It is not fit for kids to read!). Because of past family dynamics, I think I am particularly piss off when it comes to any religious displays. I feel like I am a child and I have to shut up because it is for my own good. I am too old for that!
I would love to have my dad play a major role in the ceremony. Ideally, I would love to have him as my best man. He is a rather unspiritual guy but he holds on to religion as a warm blanket that reminds him of the past. When I was 16 and tried to stop going to church, he gave me a great deal of pain with this point. His pastors that I was fairly good friends with told me he was not very spiritual at all. They said I was so much more spiritual than he was (if they said that now, I would have issue with their implication and likely want to argue that I am not.). I went to them with my hatred of church and they were oddly sympathetic. However, my dad always insisted I go and seemed to act as if it was just a fase I was going though. My older sister also insisted I go. Now I am much older and I steel think they think it is a fase that I will grow out of.
Whenever I go to my parent’s house for a meal they insist on praying over the meal. I detest this and hold hands while making funny faces at the nieces and nephew. I put up with it because it is their house and their rule but really hate it.
Is it possible or even advisable to include my dad in my upcoming wedding ceremony? Also, in what role? Damn it this is my day right?!
PS: My fiancé is Buddhist and her folks are Christian. She feels cool with this.
I would love to have my dad play a major role in the ceremony. Ideally, I would love to have him as my best man. He is a rather unspiritual guy but he holds on to religion as a warm blanket that reminds him of the past. When I was 16 and tried to stop going to church, he gave me a great deal of pain with this point. His pastors that I was fairly good friends with told me he was not very spiritual at all. They said I was so much more spiritual than he was (if they said that now, I would have issue with their implication and likely want to argue that I am not.). I went to them with my hatred of church and they were oddly sympathetic. However, my dad always insisted I go and seemed to act as if it was just a fase I was going though. My older sister also insisted I go. Now I am much older and I steel think they think it is a fase that I will grow out of.
Whenever I go to my parent’s house for a meal they insist on praying over the meal. I detest this and hold hands while making funny faces at the nieces and nephew. I put up with it because it is their house and their rule but really hate it.
Is it possible or even advisable to include my dad in my upcoming wedding ceremony? Also, in what role? Damn it this is my day right?!
PS: My fiancé is Buddhist and her folks are Christian. She feels cool with this.