honesty
ok, i know i already wrote today, but im a bit nerved up now so i need to get it out.
I've done the relationship thing several times in my life. big long relationships that truly allow you to know the other person. I've seen my friends do the relationship thing, some of my friends are even married now. Often the relationships have problems. no surprise there, it happens. maybe im not one to be dishing out advice but i feel ive got some experience here. Even married people would have to agree with the following things:
Honesty. you can NOT have a relationship without honesty. maybe im a little more honest with people than i should be. I certainly expect the same from my "partner". i want communication to work. i want to know exactly how someone is feeling. i dont want any bullshit lines, or what they think i want to hear. i want the god damn truth. you can take every terrible thing that can happen to a relationship and relate the problem back to honesty (and communication of said honesty).
for example, if you're dating someone, and you start feeling that its just not working out, for whatever reason, and you want out, then TELL THAT PERSON. dont go cheat on them. dont give them bullshit reasons for breaking it off. they are most likely gonna be hurt no matter what, but the HONESTY will bring them the closure they need to move on from the situation. Its no secret that ive had problems getting over my last boyfriend. normally id like to blame myself for this. But not this time. I cant move on till i know what the fuck he was really thinking at the time of our break up. apparently he had no balls and couldnt come out and tell me that he was just "done" with me and wanted something new. I would have respected that. but no, he had to give me the "i still care about you a lot, i dont want a girlfriend, if i did we'd still be dating blah blah blah". what do you suppose that does to a girl? how well do you think that works for her self esteem? "i still like you but youre not good enough to be with right now" is basically what that translates into id say. which is pretty hard for a girl to take. and whats worse, is when you LIE, telling the girl "you dont want a girlfriend" then move on to the next girl that walks by. thats pretty sad, guys. especially when the girl youre currently seeing has a lot of similarities to myself.
fuck. i have to get back to work. i will continue this rant soon. *GRRRRRRR*
I've done the relationship thing several times in my life. big long relationships that truly allow you to know the other person. I've seen my friends do the relationship thing, some of my friends are even married now. Often the relationships have problems. no surprise there, it happens. maybe im not one to be dishing out advice but i feel ive got some experience here. Even married people would have to agree with the following things:
Honesty. you can NOT have a relationship without honesty. maybe im a little more honest with people than i should be. I certainly expect the same from my "partner". i want communication to work. i want to know exactly how someone is feeling. i dont want any bullshit lines, or what they think i want to hear. i want the god damn truth. you can take every terrible thing that can happen to a relationship and relate the problem back to honesty (and communication of said honesty).
for example, if you're dating someone, and you start feeling that its just not working out, for whatever reason, and you want out, then TELL THAT PERSON. dont go cheat on them. dont give them bullshit reasons for breaking it off. they are most likely gonna be hurt no matter what, but the HONESTY will bring them the closure they need to move on from the situation. Its no secret that ive had problems getting over my last boyfriend. normally id like to blame myself for this. But not this time. I cant move on till i know what the fuck he was really thinking at the time of our break up. apparently he had no balls and couldnt come out and tell me that he was just "done" with me and wanted something new. I would have respected that. but no, he had to give me the "i still care about you a lot, i dont want a girlfriend, if i did we'd still be dating blah blah blah". what do you suppose that does to a girl? how well do you think that works for her self esteem? "i still like you but youre not good enough to be with right now" is basically what that translates into id say. which is pretty hard for a girl to take. and whats worse, is when you LIE, telling the girl "you dont want a girlfriend" then move on to the next girl that walks by. thats pretty sad, guys. especially when the girl youre currently seeing has a lot of similarities to myself.
fuck. i have to get back to work. i will continue this rant soon. *GRRRRRRR*