(no subject)
I went to speak with Pook last night. Bloodaxe was there, but left shortly. Gari left with him. Silly puffball always did take well to Bloodaxe. Probably hoping everything will smooth over.
Evidently Bloodaxe thought I was acting smug. I can't imagine where he got the idea. I wanted to get it over with and I was angry that he'd pushed me that far. Angry about where his priorities seemed to be. Like lying to him was the most important thing revolving the whole mess.
Had I ever been found out, if the Crew knew exactly what it was they had amongst their staff, it could've meant imprisonment or death or something dramatic like that if they had known the whole time.
Pook suggested I explain these things to him. Point out his hypocrisy and where the important things really lie, and explain the 'attitude' I had. We'll see. Talking to me about this would be the mature thing to do and right now it seems like he's being anything but mature.
Dae asks me why I care so much. Why I hold myself back. When I got home after speaking to Bloodaxe, I couldn't hold myself together. I wanted to tear walls down and flip tables and if Dae hadn't pulled me, I might have. But he's right, I do care too much, for those who continue to do nothing but disappoint.
I could just shut myself in with my work. I could just stay away.
Evidently Bloodaxe thought I was acting smug. I can't imagine where he got the idea. I wanted to get it over with and I was angry that he'd pushed me that far. Angry about where his priorities seemed to be. Like lying to him was the most important thing revolving the whole mess.
Had I ever been found out, if the Crew knew exactly what it was they had amongst their staff, it could've meant imprisonment or death or something dramatic like that if they had known the whole time.
Pook suggested I explain these things to him. Point out his hypocrisy and where the important things really lie, and explain the 'attitude' I had. We'll see. Talking to me about this would be the mature thing to do and right now it seems like he's being anything but mature.
Dae asks me why I care so much. Why I hold myself back. When I got home after speaking to Bloodaxe, I couldn't hold myself together. I wanted to tear walls down and flip tables and if Dae hadn't pulled me, I might have. But he's right, I do care too much, for those who continue to do nothing but disappoint.
I could just shut myself in with my work. I could just stay away.