Would you...nevermind
Yeah I haven't updated in a while. I'm not in the best mood, and that's when I usually update. To start off the only person I think I can possibly be mad at is myself. I realize that I'm the one who screws things up, in what ever situation. I'm not being emo and wanting people to feel sorry for me but I'm just telling it how it is. And other stuff is bothering me.
To begin with once again I realize what amazing friends I have. No event really happened to give an example of that, it's just how they are. This previous summer has been the best summer I ever had. Almost every night I saw at least one of my friends and it made me happy. The last summer before the end of high school: Bonfires, Seabreeze, The Spot (not the coffee place), Holly's, my basement, EFR, the beach, the pier, the White Lady's Castle, Tricia's, Tricia's car, RJ's, "24", Alba's...sooooooo much happened and soooooo many good times. The last night of summer I spent at Tony's for little bit with Tony, RJ, Crsytal, Dana, Tanya, Michelle, Gina, Rafael and think that's it. Then after that R.J., Rafael, Tony, Tanya, and I went to Wegmans. We bought some food and then dropped Tanya off. Then we went back to R.J.'s and then Tony, R.J., and I played Risk. Rafael didn't because he had to go home shortly after that. After the Risk game, at around 2:30 AM to about 7:00 AM we just talked about stuff. We joked around, were assholes to each other like usual, and just talked. I love these guys. The last night and morning of the last summer before we go our different ways I spent time with two great friends of mine. Okay I know that may sound kind of gayish, but oh well. Procrastinating on my AP English was worthwhile, so I could spend with my friends. And I did get a 95 on the English. One of the best things that happened is that a really great friend of mine and I are back. That's all I'm going to say. And right now I'm going to knock on wood because I don't to want to make the same big mistake I made in the past. I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooo scared of my friends forgetting about me though after this year because I am almost certain I will not be in Rochester for a very long time after high school. And yet I don't think I'll wind up in New York City or in a good college either...I just don't know. When I went for a college vist at SUNY Albany the thought of never seeing my friends again just scared the crap out of me. This may sound selfish but I hope the friends I have now (especially some of my fellow PA seniors and a select few) will be friends forever. I love them sooooooooooooooooooooo much. I just hope I leave a positive impact on them as they have already did on me. I realized doing nice things for my friends makes me more happy than when nice things happen to me.
What else? Oh yeah I'm afraid of failing. I can't even play an instrument in marching band. I feel like I'm slowing some people down. I admire everyone there, especially my friends. There is soooooo much talent in marching band and I suck. I apologize to either Dave Savine, Mr. Hoffman, and tonight Mr. Rogers for screwing up. I think almost every night of marching band for slowing I'm afraid that it's going to be like this everwhere. I'm not super smart, I suck at taking tests, I suck at math and science, I have no rhythm, I can't dance, I can't really sing, and the only thing I can do semi good is act. I don't want to be this awkward loser who only amounts to a job being stuck in cubicle or cleaning floors (not saying those jobs are done by losers). I would like to be something, so my friends can remember me.
Sometimes I feel like I'm too timid and scared. It seems like I never take the initiative when I want something...whether it be with a girl, or a friendship, or in a performance. There's a question I want to ask someone but I'm too afraid to. It's not a huge question or anything and it's just to a friend, so I know shouldn't worry but I still am. It's not the friend I'm worried about but more the answer. I'm already thinking the worse, even when the question I might ask is quite a while a way. If I don't ask I may regret it, but if I do ask the answer will probably be the one I won't want. Here I go again, thinking the worse. I almost know for certain what the answer will be but...you never know. Sucking things up and stepping up are two things I have to start doing.
I already miss my friends, most of whom I see every day, and today was the second day back to school. The closer and closer to next summer, the harder and harder it's going to get. Never once has there been close friends like these (ME, SP, TR, TW, FH, NM, AS, DP, TL, RJ, MM, NS, HH, RV).
Okay cya, Shawn Farrell
To begin with once again I realize what amazing friends I have. No event really happened to give an example of that, it's just how they are. This previous summer has been the best summer I ever had. Almost every night I saw at least one of my friends and it made me happy. The last summer before the end of high school: Bonfires, Seabreeze, The Spot (not the coffee place), Holly's, my basement, EFR, the beach, the pier, the White Lady's Castle, Tricia's, Tricia's car, RJ's, "24", Alba's...sooooooo much happened and soooooo many good times. The last night of summer I spent at Tony's for little bit with Tony, RJ, Crsytal, Dana, Tanya, Michelle, Gina, Rafael and think that's it. Then after that R.J., Rafael, Tony, Tanya, and I went to Wegmans. We bought some food and then dropped Tanya off. Then we went back to R.J.'s and then Tony, R.J., and I played Risk. Rafael didn't because he had to go home shortly after that. After the Risk game, at around 2:30 AM to about 7:00 AM we just talked about stuff. We joked around, were assholes to each other like usual, and just talked. I love these guys. The last night and morning of the last summer before we go our different ways I spent time with two great friends of mine. Okay I know that may sound kind of gayish, but oh well. Procrastinating on my AP English was worthwhile, so I could spend with my friends. And I did get a 95 on the English. One of the best things that happened is that a really great friend of mine and I are back. That's all I'm going to say. And right now I'm going to knock on wood because I don't to want to make the same big mistake I made in the past. I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooo scared of my friends forgetting about me though after this year because I am almost certain I will not be in Rochester for a very long time after high school. And yet I don't think I'll wind up in New York City or in a good college either...I just don't know. When I went for a college vist at SUNY Albany the thought of never seeing my friends again just scared the crap out of me. This may sound selfish but I hope the friends I have now (especially some of my fellow PA seniors and a select few) will be friends forever. I love them sooooooooooooooooooooo much. I just hope I leave a positive impact on them as they have already did on me. I realized doing nice things for my friends makes me more happy than when nice things happen to me.
What else? Oh yeah I'm afraid of failing. I can't even play an instrument in marching band. I feel like I'm slowing some people down. I admire everyone there, especially my friends. There is soooooo much talent in marching band and I suck. I apologize to either Dave Savine, Mr. Hoffman, and tonight Mr. Rogers for screwing up. I think almost every night of marching band for slowing I'm afraid that it's going to be like this everwhere. I'm not super smart, I suck at taking tests, I suck at math and science, I have no rhythm, I can't dance, I can't really sing, and the only thing I can do semi good is act. I don't want to be this awkward loser who only amounts to a job being stuck in cubicle or cleaning floors (not saying those jobs are done by losers). I would like to be something, so my friends can remember me.
Sometimes I feel like I'm too timid and scared. It seems like I never take the initiative when I want something...whether it be with a girl, or a friendship, or in a performance. There's a question I want to ask someone but I'm too afraid to. It's not a huge question or anything and it's just to a friend, so I know shouldn't worry but I still am. It's not the friend I'm worried about but more the answer. I'm already thinking the worse, even when the question I might ask is quite a while a way. If I don't ask I may regret it, but if I do ask the answer will probably be the one I won't want. Here I go again, thinking the worse. I almost know for certain what the answer will be but...you never know. Sucking things up and stepping up are two things I have to start doing.
I already miss my friends, most of whom I see every day, and today was the second day back to school. The closer and closer to next summer, the harder and harder it's going to get. Never once has there been close friends like these (ME, SP, TR, TW, FH, NM, AS, DP, TL, RJ, MM, NS, HH, RV).
Okay cya, Shawn Farrell