I considered for a moment whether I would write this in first or third person. I wanted to write in first person, since it claims ownership of the things I'm feeling and saying. I'm trying to get better at actually expressing myself rather than holding it all in for lack of a safe place and context to do so. However, I assume that I'm not the only ( Read more... )

So continues my journey with anti-depressants. The nausea is not quite as bad anymore and I'm at a point where I can kind of ignore it, but it's still persistent. No thoughts of suicide other than thoughts of being vigilant against thoughts of suicide 1. Still drowsy. Still yawning a lot. Still having trouble sleeping. Still having brain reset ( Read more... )

It feels like I haven't really spent enough time journaling as of late. Having been on the site for quite a few years, it's difficult not to think that I've talked about everything already without it turning into a log of mundanity, but, there's always something new. Even when talking about topics that I've covered in the past, it's important to ( Read more... )

Today was a bad day for self-talk, psoriasis, and lethargy. Hmm... I could almost leave it at that. That pretty much sums it up, really.

I have often said that I make a distinction between what I feel and what I know. While the basic idea behind this remains solid, I think I need to make a modification to it. After all, the primary function of a theory is to be proven wrong. Anyway, instead of saying I make a distinction, which I do, I need to include that I make this distinction, ( Read more... )

It seems interesting to me that the most peaceful moment of my day, so far, was when I came home - my class having been cancelled for the day - and noticed all the pine needles all over my porch. I took a broom and, for about a half hour, just swept the porch ( Read more... )

I'm usually reluctant to discuss beauty, due to the amount of people I tend to make uncomfortable (or outright insult). Being a man, who mostly has women friends (especially on LJ), it can be a sensitive subject. A few years back, I created a very detailed summary of what I consider beautiful in a woman (specifically, a woman that I would be ( Read more... )

I had initially pressed the update buttom, by accident, without any text. After the first second of "oops", I was tempted to leave it that way as a means of attempting to decribe my thoughts and feelings as of now. Not the empty silence that indicates lack of thought or feeling, but the ineffiable silence which fills rooms and countries, covers up ( Read more... )

As a disclaimer, please understand that the following frustrations are specifically related to those who are within a reasonable distance from me (especially those here at Warner). I also acknowledge that there are those who may, in fact, try (for which I am absolutely grateful). This is mostly a statement of generality based on my observations of ( Read more... )

I made a discovery today that I could've done without. I found a cavity in my upper-right (my right) incisor. I'm so used to not having cavities, so, now that I have one, I don't know what to do. Obviously, I'm going to have to go to the dentist, but, even with my job, I don't know if I can afford it. I definitely know my insurance won't cover it ( Read more... )