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[a1ka1ine_v0lc0m]

today was a horrible day kathy was screaming at me all day.... mom came home in a pissy mood and besides taht sean and i are still at it...i want to work this out but it's like he wont take respinsibility for what he's done wrong ... i know that i shouldn't have ever told him that when i was ready to date i would date him and leave him waiting like

Comments

It's me again

[anonymous]

Look i'm sorry for what happened between you and your mom i never meant for that to happen..but your last journal told me what i always wanted to know you want to date him......I'm sorry for blowing up on you but one thing you don't realize...i care to much about you not to be with you(meaning dateing) when you want another guy...i can't put my self tho that....i would end up a empty shell. i know you mostliky never had the feeling you had for me.....and you asked me a WEEK ago if i thought you where leading me on i would have said no...but after all this you started likeing a guy you asked me to take you to see.. you have any idea how bad that hurts....you say you never asked me to wait for you...You never said "Sean Please wait for me" but you actions spoke much later then any words ever could....I'm happy you found a guy that can hopfully open your heart to love again....i still whise it was me but forget that...i hope after reading you you know why i can see or talk to you besides at work or if we meet by chance some where... You where my first love and i'm not going to forget about you but this is what i need now. i'm not going to vist this site anymore because it has already cause to much pain. i don't want to say this is it because it's not the truth...but i feel this is how it has to be for me to get over this..I hope in time we can be close freinds again but i'm hurting to much right now to ever look at you....when it comes to work i'll talk to be polite but i can't do anymore then that(even know i want to)because i can't let my heart keep hurting the way it does now....for the last three days all i have be thinking about is the times we had togother when we where dateing how happy i was the frist time you kissed me and how close to you i felt when we where just watching a stupid movie on your couch....i don't want to remember how where treating eachother now but you have to take the good with the bad. It is better to love and lost then never to loved at all even know tho you never loved me anymore then a freind i still to this day love you with all my heart....and i hope you please read this and please don't force me into being your bestfreind again.....