whacking off, it gets you off, but its just not the real thing
I've been just kind of relaxing this weekend. I forgot what it was like to get drunk and what you felt like the morning after and I have to say, it didn't feel the way I always thought it had. Maybe it was different this time but I didn't do anything different, maybe I just wasn't expecting it. It felt good too, to wake up in an actual house with people you know in a way that expresses more than an occasion hello. I wish I was somewhere right now, somewhere that I could just lay down and know that everything is taken care of. That I don't have to worry about going to college and getting a job and supporting a family. That I could lay down and know that everything is already done. I look at old people and think of how awful it would be to be so old and so limited, yet it must be amazing. To be able to live life knowing that what is done is done and all thats left to do is play some bingo and end your life hopefully peacefully. You've cried everything you needed to and loved everyone you needed to. You've learned as much as you need to and you've worked as hard as you needed to. You don't have to do anything anymore, it's all up to you. I can't wait to just grow old with the love of my life and know that we've gone through everything that we needed to and all that is left to do is love each other and end our lives peacefully. I have to say, I don't like the stress of this at all. I was reading Kelley's livejournal and I have to say, she is quite right. This past summer was our last true summer for now, after this is the life of responsibility, not that we haven't had responsibilities before, but before we had our parents to take care of them, now we're on our own. Our friends will now go off on their own lives and yes we will see them this summer, but this summer will be more of an extended goodbye then a party we'll never forget. So today I was listening some of the music I would listen to on the radio when I was a lot younger, like, Chumbawumba (or however you spell it), NSYNC, Everclear, Hootie and the Blowfish, and just a lot of bands like that. I was thinking of how anal everyone is today about everything. It's like you have to stick to your one genre of music and put down everything thats not in that genre. Like myself for example, most of what I listen to is not what you would find on a radio, ever, and generally people like myself would put down anything played by the radio because its mainstream and not creative. But I remember the good ole days when I could listen to a fast beat pop song by NSYNC and think, hey this is cool and completely not caring if it was mainstream or the 18 year old punk kids riding in the car next to me thought it was cool or not. It sucks how everyone gets so judgemental and critical as they get older.