(no subject)

[_t_r_a_s_h_]

wow, look at me being all onlinish. reason: im off school because i am uber sick...having done all my homework and reading i have found myself with a wholllllllllle day of nothingness...*puts on elastica and pours another jd and coke*. yes my lovelies, half one and i can feel the alcohol in my blood stream. and you know what, despite the illness, i actually feel good. i feel happy. i have barely felt content for fuck knows how long. my life was just absorbed by all the shit memories that come around december time - i think i should learn to hybernate because it's so exhausting going through the routine every single year. i have lost so much weight as well its just not funny. but this morning i woke up and i felt really ill but also normal. it was such a relief i just wanted to cry. i honestly thought i'd reached the end this time...

so what now? i carry on. i get back on track. i regain my health and my life. i pick up the shattered pieces that last year left me with and i get on with things. again. and hope that maybe next year will be the year that i am ok.

e-mail account is back up and running. please please please update me on EVERYTHING, i find it hard to work out whats been going on through your journals. it may take me a while before im back online cos i am still trying to finish this year of school and get into college AND my computer is evil evil EVIL and only lets me online somewhere between oooh 10, 15 seconds at a time....but please get in touch and let me know you're still around and don't hate me and haven't given up on me...

i need to go and call belle. i never got a chance to tell you that she's got a boyfriend who is so sickeningly wonderful and they're vomittingly happy =oD (me jealous? nahhhhhh). but yeah, i was being shit the whole time she was down and i need to make it up to her.... *crosses fingers and hopes she'll forgive me one last time...*

<3<3<3<3