a year end review

[_smallworld]

well 2005 has definately been an interesting year. apartments, boyfriends, classes, kittens, jobs, new friends, different me. i feel like ive changed a lot since i started this journal on january 1st. at first i was dependent on it, i didnt have anyone to tell the things i wrote in here as in depth as i could write them. im sure i bored you all out of your minds reading my long ass posts about my mundane life. now, dont get me wrong, my life is still pretty mundane. but im a lot happier with it. and i know its going to sound sappy and crap, but kevin is a major reason for my changed outlook. what can i say? he makes me so happy. we arent completely over the top cutesy with each other by any means. we argue and tease each other, get on each others nerves. nothings perfect. but im in love, and i love how i feel because of it. i really didnt think this time last year that i would be this happy anytime soon. my job is another huge factor towards my general more positive mindset. again, it is definately draining, and im not bright and cheery every night leaving the office. but i think really that knowing how much i like what i do, how real it is, it gives me hope that i really have managed to find something that i'll be happy doing for the rest of my life. im not standing for four hours at a time listening to people bitch. im sitting in my comfy chair, drinking tea and making things pretty. it doesnt take a lot to figure out which one is going to make me happier. i do still miss lombardi's a little i guess. the money mostly, and the girls. it was a fun place to work. i definately miss the pizza, i still havent found anything even close to be worth eating as often as i ate that pizza. all the school without much of a break wasnt as awful as i was afraid it would be i guess. i managed to bring my overall gpa up i believe. and i did get that nice break in september before co-op started. sometimes when im at work i think about how scared out of my mind i was to start working. i really had no idea at all what i was in for. i dont think i ever pictured myself working on things the level of importance of the things im working on. maybe they arent as important as they seem in my mind, but i feel like they are big deals, and that makes me want to put that much more effort into them. ive been uber-organized about getting my hands on copies of things for my portfolio. i cant wait to show off to other people some of the stuff that ive done. and i do feel like im improving too really. on friday before leaving i had my boss lorraine come and look at the two big projects that im working on right now, and she was the most positive she'd ever been in any of her criticisms of any of my work so far. it was a nice way to start the week off. finally, some rest after 3 months. ive been looking forward to this week for ages. christmas with kevin and his family. i was beyond nervous, but it went over really well i think. i hope his family liked me. i almost choked on christmas eve when kevin's grandfather asked him "whose your lady friend" when i had a mouth full of food. mine and kevin's gift exchange could have gone better i suppose. two of his presents hadnt come by saturday night when we had planned our exchange, and i wasnt exactly in love with the necklace he got me which made him upset which made me upset that he was upset, so that wasnt great but christmas day made up for it, i really enjoyed myself. the week has gone by nicely so far. did some volunteering at ic with mom, spent some quality time with my kitten, managed not to make it to the gym, amanda came down and we got to see the gay cowboy movie (brokeback mountain, very good but very sad, i recommend.) im so excited for this weekend. tomorrow we go and have latke dinner at my parents house, the only night ive gotten to celebrate all week, gift exchanges with my family, and then we head off to our weekend of drunken fun in the mountains. we were like planning this when we went up over the summer. it will be nice to go away.

well, im distracted at this point, so i think i'll leave you here. happy new year everyone. much love.