Untitled
*The first time that I tried to update this was a couple of days ago when my heart was in tatters and the only thing that I seemed capable of was crying. I was almost done my attempted splurge of feelings when the power went out and erased the entire entry. This only led to further tears and curse words. Now, three days later the reality of the situation has finally sunk and I no longer know what to do with myself. So, once again I am attempted to put my feelings down here because I lack the simply ability to voice them any other way. Besides the chances of him finding them out are less likely this way. The odd thing about it is, I wrote this the night/morning before aforementioned, or lack thereof, event happened. The funny, or maybe not so funny part about it is that a lot of the things I wrote about were true. Which makes it even more painful for me to read it, but its the closest thing that I have to being able to get out what I'm feeling.*
"Untitled" 7*7*05
Time was a myth and death was a dream
And reality had a way of tarnishing even the most precious of memories
Love's prey seemed to be possessed by an unseen madness
One that consumed a person's entire being
To the very depths of their soul
Every sense is heightened by this intense wave of passion
Longing to be satisfied, only to be hungry again when they're through
He smelt of summertime, of everything good and something that was only him
He simply smelled like heaven
She smelt of a brisk breeze, of everything clean and something that you couldn't quite put your finger on
She completely consumed his senses
His voice was like the deep groan of a tree during a storm
Full of life and character, it left its mark on her soul
Her voice was like the tune of a silent melody
Longing, with this utter sense of mystery hidden in the shadows, it left his curiosity soaring
A strange excitement shivered like a candle's flame through the room
He knew the burden that he carried and his heart froze at the thought
He knew that in a matter of moments he was going to break her heart
When she loved, she loved with her entire being
And as she stared at the man who made her heart race, one whose eyes made her shiver
She realized he held th key to her very existence, the only happiness that lingered in her heart
He drew her towards him not only settling a hand against her waist, but pressing his fingertips firmly against her spine one at a time
Each point of pressure sent shivers through her until, by the time his index finger was settled, she felt fused to his hand
Her eyes seemed to flutter sleepily at the nearness of him, strong and solid like a mountain
Her touch was a brand on his soul
And he knew then that he held heaven and hell in his arms
He just knew that his fingertips ached to feel her hair
He just knew that his lips longed for the feel of hers against his just one last time
His kiss was like fire and rain and his touch, like sunset
She stretched into the languid sensation of it the way she might stretch into sunshine
And she curled her hands into his bronzed hair, which was as soft as his lips and simply wonderful
She felt her own hunger for such happiness - such belonging - like an ache
Then he pulled away revealing a face full of worry, regret, concern, and hurt
A hollowness consumed her and she feared she was about to lose her heart
She barely heard his voice feather over lips that scarcely moved
His breath seemed gentle, like a mist that warmed her lips
But there was nothing gentle in the words he spoke
When he finished they simply stared at one another, tears welling in the corners of her eyes
He would stand steady for her, even if she put a bullet through his heart
Then she lashed out with the hatred of a thousand broken promises
His face was burning, his heart was in tatters and his arms longed to pull her close
Yet all he could do was stand steady and accept her enraged pain
Wanting nothing more than to cleanse her soul
She could no longer bear the pain and hurt that replaced the happiness that had once filled her heart
She pressed her tear streaked cheek against the tightness in his chest, where his heart was breaking all over again
She had found her heaven, and she refused to let it end
She begged him to hold her one last time while she fell asleep
Never to see the sun rise or the moon set, never to breathe again
Yet the need in her gaze made him feel as if the earth were sliding out from underneath him
And he couldn't tell whether he was more frightened or excited by the sensation
He realized that was what she was to him, sun to his shadow
And the thought of losing her tore through him like an eager child with a neatly wrapped Christmas present
He wanted to take her in his arms, hold her safe against his chest, and breathe in the beauty of her, all glittering honesty and sweet charm
He wanted to be with her, to be better for her
But he knew that was the last possible thing because he had to leave, to get out of her life
And so he turned away from the one he loved more than life itself because of a burden that had been placed in his hands
She watched her true love leave, shaking slightly, she whispered silent goodbyes
He loved her with everything he had - all his heart, his dreams, his soul
And he'd lost her
He felt as if his heart was dying
She had become his entire heart
He cried out, his anguish echoing in the darkness
Never to see a final tear trace a solitary path down her cheek
"Untitled" 7*7*05
Time was a myth and death was a dream
And reality had a way of tarnishing even the most precious of memories
Love's prey seemed to be possessed by an unseen madness
One that consumed a person's entire being
To the very depths of their soul
Every sense is heightened by this intense wave of passion
Longing to be satisfied, only to be hungry again when they're through
He smelt of summertime, of everything good and something that was only him
He simply smelled like heaven
She smelt of a brisk breeze, of everything clean and something that you couldn't quite put your finger on
She completely consumed his senses
His voice was like the deep groan of a tree during a storm
Full of life and character, it left its mark on her soul
Her voice was like the tune of a silent melody
Longing, with this utter sense of mystery hidden in the shadows, it left his curiosity soaring
A strange excitement shivered like a candle's flame through the room
He knew the burden that he carried and his heart froze at the thought
He knew that in a matter of moments he was going to break her heart
When she loved, she loved with her entire being
And as she stared at the man who made her heart race, one whose eyes made her shiver
She realized he held th key to her very existence, the only happiness that lingered in her heart
He drew her towards him not only settling a hand against her waist, but pressing his fingertips firmly against her spine one at a time
Each point of pressure sent shivers through her until, by the time his index finger was settled, she felt fused to his hand
Her eyes seemed to flutter sleepily at the nearness of him, strong and solid like a mountain
Her touch was a brand on his soul
And he knew then that he held heaven and hell in his arms
He just knew that his fingertips ached to feel her hair
He just knew that his lips longed for the feel of hers against his just one last time
His kiss was like fire and rain and his touch, like sunset
She stretched into the languid sensation of it the way she might stretch into sunshine
And she curled her hands into his bronzed hair, which was as soft as his lips and simply wonderful
She felt her own hunger for such happiness - such belonging - like an ache
Then he pulled away revealing a face full of worry, regret, concern, and hurt
A hollowness consumed her and she feared she was about to lose her heart
She barely heard his voice feather over lips that scarcely moved
His breath seemed gentle, like a mist that warmed her lips
But there was nothing gentle in the words he spoke
When he finished they simply stared at one another, tears welling in the corners of her eyes
He would stand steady for her, even if she put a bullet through his heart
Then she lashed out with the hatred of a thousand broken promises
His face was burning, his heart was in tatters and his arms longed to pull her close
Yet all he could do was stand steady and accept her enraged pain
Wanting nothing more than to cleanse her soul
She could no longer bear the pain and hurt that replaced the happiness that had once filled her heart
She pressed her tear streaked cheek against the tightness in his chest, where his heart was breaking all over again
She had found her heaven, and she refused to let it end
She begged him to hold her one last time while she fell asleep
Never to see the sun rise or the moon set, never to breathe again
Yet the need in her gaze made him feel as if the earth were sliding out from underneath him
And he couldn't tell whether he was more frightened or excited by the sensation
He realized that was what she was to him, sun to his shadow
And the thought of losing her tore through him like an eager child with a neatly wrapped Christmas present
He wanted to take her in his arms, hold her safe against his chest, and breathe in the beauty of her, all glittering honesty and sweet charm
He wanted to be with her, to be better for her
But he knew that was the last possible thing because he had to leave, to get out of her life
And so he turned away from the one he loved more than life itself because of a burden that had been placed in his hands
She watched her true love leave, shaking slightly, she whispered silent goodbyes
He loved her with everything he had - all his heart, his dreams, his soul
And he'd lost her
He felt as if his heart was dying
She had become his entire heart
He cried out, his anguish echoing in the darkness
Never to see a final tear trace a solitary path down her cheek