*sigh*
It's been awhile since I've had an actual update, but that's mainly because I don't really feel like I have anything worth writing about. At least not anything that someone's going to want to spend their time on reading. I think that the reason I'm updating is because I don't know what to do with myself now that school out for the summer. I'm done with finals, with moving out, with freshman year altogether. And with that comes the knowledge that I won't get to see my friends for over three months with the regularity that I have become acustom to. The last couple of days at school I was a wreck because the meer thought of being at home and away from everyone was too much for me to handle.
I don't know why I don't like it at my house anymore. Maybe it's because I got thrown out of my old room, and moved into a room and barely fits my bed. It is because of this I am forced to go through my stuff and throw out things that are not absolutely necessary or things that I really want to keep. Anything that doesn't fit in the room after that, is going into storage somewhere. Ir maybe it's the fact that there is a lot of fighting at my house, most of which I seem to be the cause of or the one that gets blamed for it. Hell, maybe it is my fault that all of that stuff happens, but I don't think that I can take a whole summer of it. Another real possibility is the fact that my parents won't get off my back about a job. I was supposed to get a job from my uncle for the summer, but I still to this date don't know if I have one. Therefore, they keep asking/yelling at me about it, and I really wish that it would all just stop. I have tried so hard to find a job and no one hires me so that makes me even less motivated to go out and look for one. My sisters are another huge factor in the reason why I don't like being here. They act really childish and they start stupid fights that for some reason I can't take/handle. Sometimes I really wish that they would just grow up so that I wouldn't have to deal with all the whining, fighting, pettiness, and simply the childish behavior that they can't seem to grow out of.
I feel very over whelmed, almost to the point where the littlest thing bothers me. Part of this is due to the fact that I haven't talked to Cormac since he left school on Thursday. Ok scratch that, he just called, and it makes things a little better. I was begining to think that worst of things, cause everyone knows, that's what I do best. Besides the fact that we kind of said goodbye in a shitty way. But I think that he was just trying to make me feel better and make it seem like everything was going to be ok. I miss him a lot, and I think that's what sucks the most.
I have to keep reminding myself that I need to breathe. I never thought that something so simple could be so easily forgotten.
Well, I have to work tomorrow, pick up my sister, and make it to my softball game on time. Good luck with that one.
Most likely more bitching to come. Hello summer . . . I never thought that I'd say this but, I hope that you end soon.
I don't know why I don't like it at my house anymore. Maybe it's because I got thrown out of my old room, and moved into a room and barely fits my bed. It is because of this I am forced to go through my stuff and throw out things that are not absolutely necessary or things that I really want to keep. Anything that doesn't fit in the room after that, is going into storage somewhere. Ir maybe it's the fact that there is a lot of fighting at my house, most of which I seem to be the cause of or the one that gets blamed for it. Hell, maybe it is my fault that all of that stuff happens, but I don't think that I can take a whole summer of it. Another real possibility is the fact that my parents won't get off my back about a job. I was supposed to get a job from my uncle for the summer, but I still to this date don't know if I have one. Therefore, they keep asking/yelling at me about it, and I really wish that it would all just stop. I have tried so hard to find a job and no one hires me so that makes me even less motivated to go out and look for one. My sisters are another huge factor in the reason why I don't like being here. They act really childish and they start stupid fights that for some reason I can't take/handle. Sometimes I really wish that they would just grow up so that I wouldn't have to deal with all the whining, fighting, pettiness, and simply the childish behavior that they can't seem to grow out of.
I feel very over whelmed, almost to the point where the littlest thing bothers me. Part of this is due to the fact that I haven't talked to Cormac since he left school on Thursday. Ok scratch that, he just called, and it makes things a little better. I was begining to think that worst of things, cause everyone knows, that's what I do best. Besides the fact that we kind of said goodbye in a shitty way. But I think that he was just trying to make me feel better and make it seem like everything was going to be ok. I miss him a lot, and I think that's what sucks the most.
I have to keep reminding myself that I need to breathe. I never thought that something so simple could be so easily forgotten.
Well, I have to work tomorrow, pick up my sister, and make it to my softball game on time. Good luck with that one.
Most likely more bitching to come. Hello summer . . . I never thought that I'd say this but, I hope that you end soon.