"One can buy anything with money except morality." -Jean Jacques Rousseau
Saturday was a great day. I spent most of the day with Shunda. Went over there about 2:00.....didn't leave until 9:30. Yeah, quite a bit of time. ;) She and I were talking about when we get steady, good paying jobs, getting a place together. There's the conversation, Shunda starts it off, "It would have to be a 4 bedroom though. Your room, my room, a guest room and Destiny's room....cause I can't share a room with her, she takes up too much room" "Naw, it only needs to be a 3 bedroom....my room, your room and Destiny's. We don't need a guest room.......any of our guests..... ".....will be sleeping in the room with us." We both bust out laughing, I said, "Ex-fucking-actly!" "HA! See, you and I are on the same page." Later on I told her I would give her $100 if she stood in the street naked. I have no idea what brought this conversation up....but it was funny as hell. We are too fucking much. So much fun Saturday night, then there was Sunday morning....
My eyes opened, the blur that I saw slowly became my room. I looked over at the clock....6:30. Ugh, I don't have to get up until 9. and I lay back down. I tried to go back to sleep, it just wasn't happening. So, I lay staring at the TV....soon my mind drifted too sex and the TV became a blur and I became deafed to all sound around me. I realized yet again that it had been like almost a week since I touched myself. I thought had crossed my mind as I lay in bed every night. But, I knew if I did, then my mind would drift to him. The only person to ever shatter my heart, and the best sex I'd ever had. So, I haven't been able to bring myself to do it. But this morning, I had time.....so I thought Screw it....I'll just think of someone else. It didn't last long, and the orgasm wasn't that great. That was strange to me, considering it had been building up for a week. But, it felt wrong, the whole thing.....it felt wrong...dirty even. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, tears just started falling. I have no idea where it came from, it just came....and soon I was sobbing into my pillow. "I want him touching me......no one else, just him....why doesn't it feel right thinking about anyone else? Why? I don't understand this. Fucking shit, why does this have to happen now?" I said out loud to no one but myself, through the tears. It was a horrible start to my morning.
BUT NOTHING CURES A BROKEN HEART LIKE SHOPPING!! Mama and I finished up most of my school clothes shopping yesterday. Got damn ya'll, I look good. I've never looked so good in clothes. (Ya know, I realized today that I'm not crazy about the entire backside of my body. My back, my ass.....fuck them. FUCK THEM I SAY!) I'm gonna have to put on a fashion show at my house....for Shunda and my Mama and get Mama to take pictures for me to post here. I look so incredibly hot. And, I must, before we go any further.....let my curvy bitches that have hips you could land on plane on know that if you go to the GAP, they have these wonderful things called Curvy Jeans. They are so incredibly THE SHIT. They have the regular numbered sizes, but also grouped by "tall, average, and petite." Do you have any fucking clue how happy I was to find any assload of "petite" clothes for bigger people? ECSTATIC. And those jeans are comfortable, god, are they comfortable. I'm so in love with them....
I also found some comfortable petite black dress pants. I just look so amazingly hot. I couldn't believe I found so much stuff that looked good on me....total surprise. We went to Charlotte Russe and found these 2 great hats. One looks like this:
except it has 3 rows of fake diamonds around the bottom. The other is what Mama and call the "Janis Joplin Hat." It's awesome, I'll have to take a picture of it with my Janis feather boa. I don't really have anything to wear it with yet....but it's a great hat. ANYWAY! We get home and Mama thinks she has a dress that I could wear with the black hat, it would look very unconventional, which means, completely me. She finds it, gets it out.....and it's a size 10. I wear a size 12. I'm thinking There's no way..... But, we put it on, AND IT FIT! I FIT INTO A 10! *dances* It's looks incredibly hot. Great clubbing outfit. Plus, the black dress also doubles as the black dress I was looking for to go with my red lipstick. *dances some more* It was a great fucking day.
Totally made up for the utterly shitty morning.
He's Just Not That Into You Daily Wake-Up Call
"We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side, to be optimistic. Not in this case. In this case, look on the dark side. Assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's intoxicatingly liberating."
My eyes opened, the blur that I saw slowly became my room. I looked over at the clock....6:30. Ugh, I don't have to get up until 9. and I lay back down. I tried to go back to sleep, it just wasn't happening. So, I lay staring at the TV....soon my mind drifted too sex and the TV became a blur and I became deafed to all sound around me. I realized yet again that it had been like almost a week since I touched myself. I thought had crossed my mind as I lay in bed every night. But, I knew if I did, then my mind would drift to him. The only person to ever shatter my heart, and the best sex I'd ever had. So, I haven't been able to bring myself to do it. But this morning, I had time.....so I thought Screw it....I'll just think of someone else. It didn't last long, and the orgasm wasn't that great. That was strange to me, considering it had been building up for a week. But, it felt wrong, the whole thing.....it felt wrong...dirty even. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, tears just started falling. I have no idea where it came from, it just came....and soon I was sobbing into my pillow. "I want him touching me......no one else, just him....why doesn't it feel right thinking about anyone else? Why? I don't understand this. Fucking shit, why does this have to happen now?" I said out loud to no one but myself, through the tears. It was a horrible start to my morning.
BUT NOTHING CURES A BROKEN HEART LIKE SHOPPING!! Mama and I finished up most of my school clothes shopping yesterday. Got damn ya'll, I look good. I've never looked so good in clothes. (Ya know, I realized today that I'm not crazy about the entire backside of my body. My back, my ass.....fuck them. FUCK THEM I SAY!) I'm gonna have to put on a fashion show at my house....for Shunda and my Mama and get Mama to take pictures for me to post here. I look so incredibly hot. And, I must, before we go any further.....let my curvy bitches that have hips you could land on plane on know that if you go to the GAP, they have these wonderful things called Curvy Jeans. They are so incredibly THE SHIT. They have the regular numbered sizes, but also grouped by "tall, average, and petite." Do you have any fucking clue how happy I was to find any assload of "petite" clothes for bigger people? ECSTATIC. And those jeans are comfortable, god, are they comfortable. I'm so in love with them....
I also found some comfortable petite black dress pants. I just look so amazingly hot. I couldn't believe I found so much stuff that looked good on me....total surprise. We went to Charlotte Russe and found these 2 great hats. One looks like this:
except it has 3 rows of fake diamonds around the bottom. The other is what Mama and call the "Janis Joplin Hat." It's awesome, I'll have to take a picture of it with my Janis feather boa. I don't really have anything to wear it with yet....but it's a great hat. ANYWAY! We get home and Mama thinks she has a dress that I could wear with the black hat, it would look very unconventional, which means, completely me. She finds it, gets it out.....and it's a size 10. I wear a size 12. I'm thinking There's no way..... But, we put it on, AND IT FIT! I FIT INTO A 10! *dances* It's looks incredibly hot. Great clubbing outfit. Plus, the black dress also doubles as the black dress I was looking for to go with my red lipstick. *dances some more* It was a great fucking day.
Totally made up for the utterly shitty morning.
He's Just Not That Into You Daily Wake-Up Call
"We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side, to be optimistic. Not in this case. In this case, look on the dark side. Assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's intoxicatingly liberating."