thoughts of emotion....part 2
life is what you make it. there is no what if's or changing the past and blaming others for your failure because you are the creater of your own life. you are the body builder of what sculpts your life to what it is today. relying on others will manage to be a fall back. creating happiness from the relience of others will be your mager fall that shall watch you shatter to the ground because you are your own strength and happiness. you are your own hero. you are the one who you turn to when shit hits the fan and your whole world is left laying there alone in one single second of each moment. There is no land mark or warning sign for your steps. you are all you have to rely on. you and your strength. immortality does not exist to this reality. your shadows will follow with each step and there you will turn and see your pain and sadness of ever mistake that has marked your life but without those mistakes you are nothing. they are what sculpt your life and created your being. you are what caused your tears. you are what makes you smile. sometimes i wonder like where do we seriously go when out bodies fail and fall tp peices and our sould rises to such high power. where do we really go? are we sitting up there in heaven and really watching down is that were our endless eternity is? or are we someone else in other world with a whole nothing past to look back on? will we remember or are we erased of we used to be? these are the questions i asked i myself everyday. it's always just been a thought. no i'm not on drugs. i hope i'm not the only one who questions out lives as being on this reality. i hope i haven't reached my insanity. not just yet. would you call me crazy? some people do. sometimes i agree. the truth is i know what crazy really is. i've seen it. not only from the mirror image but from these eyes which have seen the true falling. i used to think i was a schizso. i used to wonder why i would cry over the smallest things and yet it would take much to make me smile. the emotions of such a being are what create your divine souls that we sometimes lack when we create pain on others. why do we? what is the point of hurting someone else? did you know it takes over thousand commpliments to make up for one painful insult? luckily i have learned to drop such a grudge because otherwise it image years worth of commpliments still would not have made up for the insulting life i must continue to live here in this hell hole. luckily i have learned to see past that. to see the glass half full instead of half empty. i nearly feel sadness who have seen through the glass as i have. as i used to. i wonder if they will see other side of this reality as i have? as i look at it now. do you think that one day in this reality we can look past the insanity and fine the sane and learn to cope with peace? i don't see it. i don't see myself far in the future. i don't see children. sometimes i feel it would be wrong to bring them to a world to feel as low as i have. i wouldn't be able to bear that. yet i don't know if i could change it. hopefully one day. one day people will learn to grow sooner than later. we all must learn from our mistakes but how long will it take till we all can sit in the same room with a smile on our face and learn forgiveness? how long? yet how boring then would life be? it would be lacking all creativity. don't you think? what good would a world be if all was good and satan actually gave up on his battle with god. what good? what plain boring good would that be? you know you hate the drama yet you fear for greatness of goodness and perfection. these are my thought of emotion.