(no subject)
Still awake. Mostly because I can. There is no reason for me to wake up before noon today because Paisley doesn't go on lunch till 1 and I don't work till 5. So an update it will be.
- In summer school. Currently taking English 1(100) and actually enjoying it. Though most of the class is full of idiots, the teacher is actually quite intelligent and his lectures are pretty interesting and enjoyable. I'm glad I took the class despite the Monday through Thursday, 10:30 through 1:30 time slot.
- I'm a sorter at UPS now. Not too big on it but it suffices for what I need. It'll help me get what I actually want around there. That fucking supervisor job.
- I've come to a realization recently that has me thinking in a different direction on life. I'm 20 and that actually means something. I'm at a crucial make or break point in my life. I can't just think about my future anymore, I'm entering into it. With that, it has really sunk in that I need to grow up. Actually go to school and finish up at least something. Work towards real promotions at my job and future jobs. Time to think about resumes. Time to think about field experience. Statistics give an average of $13 an hour full time being the minimum it takes to be independent and that most likely is going up, if not now, very soon. That's also just to survive. Well I want more than the bottom. I'm not saying I'm gunning for some CEO job for a major corporation (Not that I'm discouraging the notion) but I want a career and a decent livable yearly salary. I also want to do it with my mind and not my back. Basically the goal is to be pulling a 30-40k a year job in a somewhat desirable field by time I'm 23. I kind of like the idea of moving out, being independent and possibly being a family man someday. But, I don't want some bullshit, break my back job to do it. That's why I'm staying at home, in school and at UPS. Sure I hate it, but it can help me so much for my future. If just an AA does the trick then great, but if I have to keep going for that BA to make any of this dream a reality, I'll stick to it. It's strange really, I don't think I've ever wanted this before in my life. Don't get me wrong, if say some music project comes up with the potential to go places, I'll still hop on that boat. But as long as that doesn't look like the case, I need to actually have a career lined up. Perhaps this is me finally growing up? Regardless, it feels like the right direction and I'm finally embracing that.
- On a side note, I still desperately want to loose weight and get back into shape. Yet again. I've considered a gym again but I don't have the time with work and school. Considered DDR again but there isn't a convenient location and the prices suck. It kind of sucks because I've actually gotten into shape like 5 times in the past when factors have put me in this state. Luckly I have my job that keeps me in at least bearable condition. But I need something more. It's just what? It's not a matter of can I, because I can. It's a matter of how and when. Of course this is the common problem for most people in this area. Loosing weight and getting into shape isn't that hard with a little discipline. Balancing a work out regiment with the rest of life is. All in all it's not a dire issue but it is something I would like to address as soon as I can.
- To end this post I would simply like to state that I think Aspen might of been right after all. I don't think her and I were really in love. I don't say this because I've been doing a lot of reflecting on that relationship but quite the opposite. I've been taking in a lot from my current one and I feel so much more strongly for Paisley than I have any other girl in the past. I know I love Paisley, I can feel it when I look at her. I can envision a future with us. Where as I never could get past the here and now when dating Aspen. I can tell that a major part of all of this has been that I've grown up, a lot. I understand more, I've experienced more and I'm ready for more. Paisley is just the perfect girl to go out and try to experience a genuine relationship. Whether or not Paisley is the girl I spend my life with, I can tell she is the girl I've given my heart to. It's not puppy love this time, it's more. I'm not bored of Paisley like I was with all the girls in the past. I don't flirt with other girls or have back ups in case things go wrong in this relationship. I'm with Paisley, through thick and thin, giving my all to try and make this thing work. I'll do anything for her and she'll do anything for me and as our past together has shown, we'll stick with each other through anything. Paisley, I love you.
This was all much longer than I first anticipated, but it always feels nice to just get all of this off my chest. =3
- In summer school. Currently taking English 1(100) and actually enjoying it. Though most of the class is full of idiots, the teacher is actually quite intelligent and his lectures are pretty interesting and enjoyable. I'm glad I took the class despite the Monday through Thursday, 10:30 through 1:30 time slot.
- I'm a sorter at UPS now. Not too big on it but it suffices for what I need. It'll help me get what I actually want around there. That fucking supervisor job.
- I've come to a realization recently that has me thinking in a different direction on life. I'm 20 and that actually means something. I'm at a crucial make or break point in my life. I can't just think about my future anymore, I'm entering into it. With that, it has really sunk in that I need to grow up. Actually go to school and finish up at least something. Work towards real promotions at my job and future jobs. Time to think about resumes. Time to think about field experience. Statistics give an average of $13 an hour full time being the minimum it takes to be independent and that most likely is going up, if not now, very soon. That's also just to survive. Well I want more than the bottom. I'm not saying I'm gunning for some CEO job for a major corporation (Not that I'm discouraging the notion) but I want a career and a decent livable yearly salary. I also want to do it with my mind and not my back. Basically the goal is to be pulling a 30-40k a year job in a somewhat desirable field by time I'm 23. I kind of like the idea of moving out, being independent and possibly being a family man someday. But, I don't want some bullshit, break my back job to do it. That's why I'm staying at home, in school and at UPS. Sure I hate it, but it can help me so much for my future. If just an AA does the trick then great, but if I have to keep going for that BA to make any of this dream a reality, I'll stick to it. It's strange really, I don't think I've ever wanted this before in my life. Don't get me wrong, if say some music project comes up with the potential to go places, I'll still hop on that boat. But as long as that doesn't look like the case, I need to actually have a career lined up. Perhaps this is me finally growing up? Regardless, it feels like the right direction and I'm finally embracing that.
- On a side note, I still desperately want to loose weight and get back into shape. Yet again. I've considered a gym again but I don't have the time with work and school. Considered DDR again but there isn't a convenient location and the prices suck. It kind of sucks because I've actually gotten into shape like 5 times in the past when factors have put me in this state. Luckly I have my job that keeps me in at least bearable condition. But I need something more. It's just what? It's not a matter of can I, because I can. It's a matter of how and when. Of course this is the common problem for most people in this area. Loosing weight and getting into shape isn't that hard with a little discipline. Balancing a work out regiment with the rest of life is. All in all it's not a dire issue but it is something I would like to address as soon as I can.
- To end this post I would simply like to state that I think Aspen might of been right after all. I don't think her and I were really in love. I don't say this because I've been doing a lot of reflecting on that relationship but quite the opposite. I've been taking in a lot from my current one and I feel so much more strongly for Paisley than I have any other girl in the past. I know I love Paisley, I can feel it when I look at her. I can envision a future with us. Where as I never could get past the here and now when dating Aspen. I can tell that a major part of all of this has been that I've grown up, a lot. I understand more, I've experienced more and I'm ready for more. Paisley is just the perfect girl to go out and try to experience a genuine relationship. Whether or not Paisley is the girl I spend my life with, I can tell she is the girl I've given my heart to. It's not puppy love this time, it's more. I'm not bored of Paisley like I was with all the girls in the past. I don't flirt with other girls or have back ups in case things go wrong in this relationship. I'm with Paisley, through thick and thin, giving my all to try and make this thing work. I'll do anything for her and she'll do anything for me and as our past together has shown, we'll stick with each other through anything. Paisley, I love you.
This was all much longer than I first anticipated, but it always feels nice to just get all of this off my chest. =3