x_X
this hell will only last for so much longer... i'm to the point where i'm saving up money so i can through my hands up and walk. anyone who wants is more than welcome to come with me. just a select few who will NEVER see me again nor will they know where i am, how i am, and how i'm doing. i have started cutting myself off... and i hope everyone is ready for it. i'm mad as hell. works not cool... they keep loosing people and won't be nice to the one's they have. I'M COLD!!!
i've been reading the novel A Long Way Down (which so far is pretty good) and there was a passage i wanted to share. it struck right on close to home:
"I don't know you. The only think i know about you is, your reading this. I don't know whether your happy or not; i don't know whether your young or not. i sort of hope you're young and sad. If your old and happy, I can imagine that you'll maybe smile to yourself when you hear me going, He broke my heart. You'll remember someone who broke your heart, and you'll think to yourself, Oh, yes, i can remember how that feels. But you can't, you smug old git. Oh, you might remember feeling sort of pleasantly sad. You might remember listening to music and eating chocolates in your room, or walking along the Embankment on your own, wrapped in a winter coat and feeling lonely and brave. But can you remember how with every mouthful of food it felt like you were biting into your own stomach? Can you remember the taste of red wine as it came back up and into the toilet bowl? Can you remember dreaming every night that you were still together, that he was talking to you gently and touching you, so that every morning when you woke up you had to go through it all over again? Can you remember carving his initials in your arm with a kitchen knife? can you remember standing too close to the edges of an underground platform? No? well, fucking shut up, then. Stick your smile up your saggy old arse."
i've been reading the novel A Long Way Down (which so far is pretty good) and there was a passage i wanted to share. it struck right on close to home:
"I don't know you. The only think i know about you is, your reading this. I don't know whether your happy or not; i don't know whether your young or not. i sort of hope you're young and sad. If your old and happy, I can imagine that you'll maybe smile to yourself when you hear me going, He broke my heart. You'll remember someone who broke your heart, and you'll think to yourself, Oh, yes, i can remember how that feels. But you can't, you smug old git. Oh, you might remember feeling sort of pleasantly sad. You might remember listening to music and eating chocolates in your room, or walking along the Embankment on your own, wrapped in a winter coat and feeling lonely and brave. But can you remember how with every mouthful of food it felt like you were biting into your own stomach? Can you remember the taste of red wine as it came back up and into the toilet bowl? Can you remember dreaming every night that you were still together, that he was talking to you gently and touching you, so that every morning when you woke up you had to go through it all over again? Can you remember carving his initials in your arm with a kitchen knife? can you remember standing too close to the edges of an underground platform? No? well, fucking shut up, then. Stick your smile up your saggy old arse."