Explosions Off in the Distance
I've been really homesick for the last little while. Jared and Dave drove to Boston last weekend without telling me they were going, and it just made me so sad. I feel like I'm missing out on my family, of the best times in my little brother's life. He's becoming a real person, and I want to be there, and to be friends with him. And my parent's and I are finally becoming friends too, and I miss them.
For some reason, I just want to be back in my highschool bubble. I miss that world, when everyone was so close, and I always had someone to rely on. I know that really, I'm romanticizing it terribly, that I probably would be just as unstable as I am now (I feel like I'm those jelly beans in Harry Potter, and you never know what mood you're gonna get day to day [or minute to minute]. Sometimes it's happy and sometimes it's earwax). If there's one thing I've learned from Art History, it's that we romanticize things alot. Pastoral peasant life scenes, complete with sheep, from Rococo, holler.
I just have this idea of things being perfect in my head, and right now there's too much flux in my life for me to deal with. People not getting along, never seeing half my friends, people becoming SUCH RIDICULOUS scene kids ("you don't know him? He's like THE IT KID on the Halifax scene. EVERYBODY knows him." I guess I'm just not part of the "Halifax Scene" [we have a scene?] That probably means my art sucks too), being really alone most of the time, working all the time, and thinking too much have made my head explode.
And I miss the valley. I miss trees and valley women and rao's and sweetzer, and my dressup box and real food that is not pasta and turkey sandwiches and my bed. I don't want to be grown up. I hate paying bills and being responsible. I'm tired of discussions about art all the time. I want disgustingly sexual "would you rather" games, nick throwing em around, and stupid frisbees and monty python. I want to come home for thanksgiving. I really really really want to come home for thanksgiving.
(This all being said, sean's coming demain, and I AM SO EXCITED for this weekend. I get to take an engineer to a NSCAD halloween dance. AMAZING).
I'm such a brat. Maybe I'll go find never never land so that my life can stay paused at 19. Or maybe I'll just start going to every show to say that I've been there, as well as every gallery opening, so that I can become part of the fax scene, and finally meet that damn kid that everyone knows.
For some reason, I just want to be back in my highschool bubble. I miss that world, when everyone was so close, and I always had someone to rely on. I know that really, I'm romanticizing it terribly, that I probably would be just as unstable as I am now (I feel like I'm those jelly beans in Harry Potter, and you never know what mood you're gonna get day to day [or minute to minute]. Sometimes it's happy and sometimes it's earwax). If there's one thing I've learned from Art History, it's that we romanticize things alot. Pastoral peasant life scenes, complete with sheep, from Rococo, holler.
I just have this idea of things being perfect in my head, and right now there's too much flux in my life for me to deal with. People not getting along, never seeing half my friends, people becoming SUCH RIDICULOUS scene kids ("you don't know him? He's like THE IT KID on the Halifax scene. EVERYBODY knows him." I guess I'm just not part of the "Halifax Scene" [we have a scene?] That probably means my art sucks too), being really alone most of the time, working all the time, and thinking too much have made my head explode.
And I miss the valley. I miss trees and valley women and rao's and sweetzer, and my dressup box and real food that is not pasta and turkey sandwiches and my bed. I don't want to be grown up. I hate paying bills and being responsible. I'm tired of discussions about art all the time. I want disgustingly sexual "would you rather" games, nick throwing em around, and stupid frisbees and monty python. I want to come home for thanksgiving. I really really really want to come home for thanksgiving.
(This all being said, sean's coming demain, and I AM SO EXCITED for this weekend. I get to take an engineer to a NSCAD halloween dance. AMAZING).
I'm such a brat. Maybe I'll go find never never land so that my life can stay paused at 19. Or maybe I'll just start going to every show to say that I've been there, as well as every gallery opening, so that I can become part of the fax scene, and finally meet that damn kid that everyone knows.