(no subject)
I hate how much I like him inspite of all the REALLY GOOD reasons why I shouldn't. If I could walk away, I would. I really would but I can't. Just when I think I'm fed up, he makes it better again and its so hopeless. Why am I putting myself through this hell? I can feel my heart slowly cracking and I don't know what to do about it other than just let it happen. I hate this. I hate liking boys. I hate that I'm so fragile. I hate that I'm so insecure.
Kevin wants me to go to DC with him for a couple weeks.
After he got off the phone, I realized that if I really wanted to make that happen, I can. So I'm saving up and taking a week or maybe even two off of work and going to see my DC crew. They've been telling me to come for a while. All I ever have are excuses. Well, no more. I need this.
And what I'm really freaking terrified of is that I think I might love him. Not the IN love way, but just love him. And I really don't want to.
Kevin wants me to go to DC with him for a couple weeks.
After he got off the phone, I realized that if I really wanted to make that happen, I can. So I'm saving up and taking a week or maybe even two off of work and going to see my DC crew. They've been telling me to come for a while. All I ever have are excuses. Well, no more. I need this.
And what I'm really freaking terrified of is that I think I might love him. Not the IN love way, but just love him. And I really don't want to.