(no subject)
I wish I could run away. But I know my problems would follow me. It's like covering a gaping wound with a bandage. It'll still be there unless you fix the underlying issue. What's my issue? That I think I'm the shit and no one seems to be buying into it. Of could it be that my primary support system is on thr other end of the country. Or could it be that this is life and these aren't really problems, rather they are an everyday occursnce that everyone deals with and the only way to deal with them is to learn to adapt. The market sucks. I can stay here for two more years and work in a unit I want to work in. Or I can try and move elsewhere and work a job I hate along with trying to adjust. I'm lost and cnfused and trying to keep up with all of my peers who are in grad school, applying to grad school or whatever. I have to remember that my major doesn't allow that. I will sink, and quickly if I tried to go to grad school with no experience. Even the very few that allow it. Every nurse I meet has said " no, one year isn't enough." so why am i fighting it? I'm not sure. Because I want peoPle to think I'm smart I guess. When surely my intelligence. An only be gained by experience and not from research or books. I should give myself a chance to settle. Is 27 old to finish grad school? Meh, that's subjective. But I'd rather excel and be a good practitioner than try and impress people who don't give two flying fucks about whether I go to grad shook or not. God. Give me peace. I k ow you're there. I just can't hear you or feel you. I feel lost and alone and confused.
Snono
Snono