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[__inadream]

i told brian i'm not sure i feel the same way as i did before and that i'm not sure that i can get that feeling back because of how much i was hurt and everything that's happened since then

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[aedrais]

Well, if it helps, we still love each other, my... boy and I. We sat together and cried and wiped each others' tears, and kissed each other and told each other we loved each other numerous times. In our case, situationally, it's just... not working. We tried, and we can't quite get there. I still love him so much, and I know that he loves me... but the relationship isn't making us as happy as it should be. And he's the one strong enough to walk away, I guess. I'm not. A large part of me still feels like trying even more, though logically I know that our lives aren't going to change the way we need them to to make this work for at least a few years. We're still finishing uni and working full time on top of that, and we just don't have the time that we need to have for each other. And it sucks.

However, yes. This has been a theme that's come and gone in our relationship for... well, basically all the years we've been together. I just think that if a problem was bad enough that you broke up once, it takes so much more effort than you think it might to fix it enough that it doesn't come back. I'm not saying don't try; I'm just saying... it's hard.

I wish I had a happy ending and hope for you. Hell, I wish I had a happy ending and hope for myself. I'm still struggling to accept the idea that we can still love each other and be apart. It's a concept that I'm pretty sure might take me years. Anyway.

<3 I really hope things work out for you. Everyone deserves to be happy.