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theurbancowboy in __cake__

sometimes i do dangerous things

Sep 06, 2005 01:17

You'd think that in my former line of work nothing would surprise me, now though, I can say that I have been surprised. Tara Mclay has thrown my entire world off it's fucking access, and I'm not exactly all that worried about it. I should be, considering I've now literally gotten into bed with a vampire. A Vampire whose soul is somehow still in her ( Read more... )

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sexytarawitch September 7 2005, 00:50:24 UTC

I felt pleasantly sedated but not fully at ease. I knew that I still hadn't gotten a straight answer from him and I planned on getting something from him eventually, I read the papers but I'd rather hear it from him ( ... )

theurbancowboy September 7 2005, 01:01:10 UTC

The unexpected side affect of a vampire's bite? So fucking sensitive and she knows it when she's licked and sucking at it lightly. Damn her, Damn her straight to hell. When she mentioned I talked in my sleep my body once again went rigid ( ... )

sexytarawitch September 7 2005, 01:09:35 UTC

Feelings and emotions started slamming into me the second he pulled away from me and I wondered if it was because I bit him, made him mine in a way, like maybe we have a connection now ( ... )

theurbancowboy September 7 2005, 01:25:11 UTC

I wanted to argue with the first part. Putting myself on the line for her? This wasn't me doing anything but fucking her brains out every chance I got, but I guess she saw it differently and I wasn't in any position to argue with her. Still I'm not one to coddle or lie ( ... )

sexytarawitch September 7 2005, 01:38:10 UTC

How am I supposed to react to this? I don't know how to handle him, he's like nobody I've ever been around before. I can't treat him like Dawn or Willow, he's not even remotely like Anya...except for the bluntness maybe.

"I don't know anything about her, or you because you won't tell me." My eyes flashed yellow and I clenched my fists as I tried to relax. "I don't know what you want me to do Lindsey, you won't let me in. All you do is shut me out and you know what? I'm so tired of the damn cold."

He seemed to blanch at my words and for a moment I wanted to ask him why, but I didn't. I listened as he spoke and I can't deny it - but I'll never admit it - that him telling me he couldn't walk away from me made me feel more secure then Spike's ever have.

"You know Lindsey, never in my life - then or now - has anyone even 'entertained the notion' of wanting to stay with me, letting me know that they want to stay." He looked at me and I continued. "Went crazy last year, literally. When I was finally me again my lover was more interested ( ... )

theurbancowboy September 7 2005, 03:13:00 UTC

"Well everyone in your life has obviously never taken a good look at you, so it's their fucking loss ( ... )

sexytarawitch September 7 2005, 03:22:36 UTC

Expecting Lindsey to be soft and lightfooted about the big things or the heavy ones was slowly fading. Actually, it was pretty much gone. I knew Lindsey was the way he was and nothing was going to change that. But for some reason I kind of respected that, he didn't put on air's and he didn't sugarcoat things. Two things I didn't need right now ( ... )

theurbancowboy September 7 2005, 03:31:06 UTC

I couldn't help but lightly chuckle at her attempt at a joke, it's not really that funny but the fact that she tried amused me.

"This thing with us, you piss me off like no one has before, and obviously I'm pretty good at pissing you off too. Just don't leave me because I say something idiotic and stupid, if you are going to leave do it for a good reason."

And don't go back to Spike, not that I was going to say it but I had a feeling she would understand it.

Not that I want her to leave, actually if she did want to leave I'd probably do just about anything to keep her with me, even play dirty, a lot more dirty than I did in the shower or last night.

I sighed and looked at her seriously waiting for her response, maybe it was stupid, I don't know but I'm an asshole and she's figure it out by now and she still hasn't left.

"So what do you want to know anyway?" I asked more defensively than I meant to.

sexytarawitch September 7 2005, 03:39:14 UTC

He opened up just a little, let me in to see what was there. He asked me what I wanted to know but I knew it was to cover up the promise he asked of me. I would find things out later, he needed to know some things first ( ... )

theurbancowboy September 7 2005, 04:21:51 UTC

In a way I guess I understood how she couldn't let him go. That didn't mean I liked it, in fact I hated it, but what could I say? I hated Darla but what would I really do if I ever saw her again? I was still saying her name in my sleep, so who the fuck was I to judge? Of course what ever stops be from judging anyway ( ... )

sexytarawitch September 7 2005, 04:30:09 UTC

After I spoke, I wondered when did I get so speachy, I never talked this much when I was...before. But I was kind of glad I did, I got it off my chest. But as always, Lindsey was of few words ( ... )

theurbancowboy September 7 2005, 04:44:58 UTC

I wrapped an arm around her and thought about it ( ... )

sexytarawitch September 7 2005, 04:56:44 UTC

I bit my lip hard and tried to think of the right way to define what we had, what we were. I ran my tongue over my bottom lip and spoke carefully. "Ok, me? Not so good with words so I'm gonna try..." Don't screw this up. "He thinks I'm his, part of me...I feel like I am. The rest of me doesn't want to be. That's kinda where you come in. I want an us, a friendship or...who am I kidding, we've already had our way with each other in your bed and in your shower. It's just...I've never been the type of girl to be anyone's, let alone everybodies ( ... )

theurbancowboy September 7 2005, 05:04:44 UTC

"Shut up Tara. This whole self deprication thing you've got going on? I'm not your family and I'm not Spike and I don't care if you don't make any sense, which you don't, I just want you to fucking tell me ( ... )

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