[Continued from here]I heard the belt hit the floor with a wet clang, splashing in the blood from our broken mugs. Images and nightmare type memory's flooded my mind of when I was little and made me shudder
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"Umm honey? Don't you think you did that already? I think that was apparent...I was already yours before this..."
She did have a point and I felt a wave of affection wash over me as I looked at her smiling face and I smiled back at her lightly. I was about to say something, probably something stupid, probably whatever the bloody hell popped into my head, that seemed to be the theme these days, but she'd already turned away so I was off the hook.
Don’t know what I would’ve said anyway, all I knew was that I was glad she was smiling again, and the fact that she was smiling at me, well, that was a bonus.
Wasn’t long before she was quiet again and I could tell that she was having those same old feelings she always had after we'd had a mind-blowing shag. Guess that was the point though, wasn't it? I was the only one that actually thought it was mind-blowing; I'd wager she thought it was dirty and wrong. Still such a good little girl at heart, it'd amuse me if it wasn't driving her batty.
And the last thing I want is her going batty,
( ... )
You were going to do this to me...You lied Spike...you lied to me again..."
So she wasn’t really seeing the positive aspects of this little situation, then? Big bloody surprise, that was. Anyway, sod her, I didn’t bloody lie…hell, I’d looked the book for all of three minutes, I hadn’t had sodding time enough to lie. You did say it wasn’t what it looked like, not really true that, was it?
But before I had time to think about it anymore the bint was laying into me, fists flying and bloody hell, she wasn’t holding back and it hurt like hell. Well, she could get buggered; didn’t she know that everything I did, I did for her?
Moving quickly I grabbed her arms and spun her around, pinning her to the wall and pressing my body up against hers to make sure that was where she bloody well stayed. The feel of her body against mine, as always, got me all hot and bothered and my cock twitched as my mind ran through all the possible ways that I could discipline her. But this wasn’t the time…
"Why...How could you do this to me?"‘specially when
( ... )
“I wasn’t…I mean I wasn’t really thinking about it. I just can’t stand to see you in so much pain. It’s the bloody soul that’s causing it, making you feel bad about all the things you should be enjoying .”
I looked at him as he stepped back from me. "Spike..." Why didn't he get this? Why didn't he understand anything that was going on. "This soul that you want so desperately to get rid of is the same soul that fell in love with you." I spat at him, my voice low. "All these things that I'm feeling, that are going against this demon inside of me they are me, they make me who I am, who I was." I could swear my heart was breaking at all this fighting, this was going to be a constant war we were in, I could feel it.
“Hell, Tara, it even makes you feel guilty about us mak-shagging…shouldn’t be that way when two people love each other.”
I narrowed my eyes at him and it was almost like something small snapped inside me. "I don't feel guilty about us being together. You were right to correct yourself, Spike. We don't make love, heck, I don
( ... )
"You don't love me, maybe you think you do but you don't Spike. You just want the monster you created, to get her I'd be totally gone but I don't think you realize that. Sometimes..."
“That’s not fair,” I spat, burning on the inside with rage and hurt. “I do love you. Just ‘cos I made a bloody mistake. Bloody hell, me looking at a damn spell book doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
"I wish you'd just let me die that night...then I wouldn't feel like this...I wouldn't...I wouldn't have started to hate you." “No,” I said softly, walking towards her. I think I was scared…yeah, bloody hell I was scared, but I hated it when she talked like that and I couldn’t bear to hear her say she hated me. This situation was fast getting out of my control
( ... )
“Love,”The way he said it nearly broke me, he sounded as broken as I felt at this moment. I didn't know what to do or think, I listened to him speak as he wrapped his arms around me. I kept stiff in his arms, trying to fight every urge inside me, they wanted to hold him, beg him to hold me but they also wanted to rip his eyes out for the things he's done and made me feel
( ... )
God how could I have been such a stupid git? It was all so obvious. Like she said that night, I couldn’t just keep catering to the demon in her. Yeah, feeding it got her over her nasty spells but other things did too…like back in the crypt that morning, when I just held her. The demon inside me writhed in pain, first time in days I’d felt that old feeling and I had to admit no matter how much I liked it rough…no matter how much I knew she did too, I knew something else n’all.
She liked it soft and slow…she liked being with me. Not big bad Spike, not a vicious killer. Me. I was just so caught up in my ways that I’d forgotten that she wasn’t Dru. I didn’t need to be constantly proving how brutal and cold I could be, with Tara I could let that go. I mean rough and tumble is all kinds of fun…didn’t exactly want to let it go, but
( ... )
“It’s been a long time since I was human, princess, sometimes I forget. Give me another chance? Just one more? I’ll give you your moment.”
Nothing but confusion ran through me and I couldn't help but lean into his touch, it just felt so good that I couldn't bare to be away from him. But it was painfully clear that I had to be, I knew where I had to go and maybe he'd give me some balance. Spike would never forgive me if I went to him though.
We had forever to fix it and the look in his eyes now proved that we'd get through that when - and if - I came back.
Selfishly I didn't tell him that I was going, not with the look in his eyes, maybe he got the point and I wouldn't have to leave after all.
I reached up and touched his face, leaning up on tiptoes and kissing him softly, I didn't speak - I was afraid of my own voice - but I did nod slightly against his lips, reaching down and lacing my fingers with his, letting him lead as I worried about my own fight inside my mind.
She kissed me softly and laced her fingers with mine. Thank fuck, I thought. Maybe she’s finally starting to see that even if I do make stupid sodding mistakes, I still love her. And that really was the truth of the matter; I did love her. Much as a soulless monster could love someone, but then again, I’d never believed that you-can’t-love-without-a-soul bullshit. I’d loved before, and I loved now that’s for bloody sure.
She couldn’t wrap me ‘round her sodding little finger like she seemed to always be able to do if I didn’t.
Breaking the kiss, I led her over to the table and sat her down. She still seemed a bit pissed, so it’d probably be best to pull out all the stops on this one. Never let it be said that I couldn’t charm a bird if I had to.
“You stay there a minute, love,” I said smiling. “I’ll come and get you when it’s ready.”
With that I walked off into the back room. When what’s ready? I asked myself and it was a good bloody question. I didn’t know what I was going to do, all I knew was that she wanted ‘normal’. I didn’t
( ... )
He smiled and something twisted in my stomach. I miss his smile, a lot, he doesn't smile much any more. I don't either for that matter. We couldn't go on like that, it wasn't fair to either of us
( ... )
Right then, so she was horny again. Bloody. Women. Changed their minds so bloody fast a bloke never knew where they stood and I sure as hell wasn’t going to assume anything. Yeah, I wanted her more than I wanted bloody, always, all the sodding time, but this was supposed to be about her…I’d let her choose what she wanted to do
( ... )
I squeezed his hand back slightly and nodded, my eyes damn near lighting up as I looked around the room. "I love it, it's what I wanted." I murmured as I leaned back against him. "I'd hope I wasn't the worst." I teased, feeling a bit better about things and hiding the fact of what I might end up doing when the night was over. "You're stuck with me forever my dear William." Part of me loved that idea
( ... )
"I miss the old me, I miss a lot of things...I miss...I miss how you looked at her, how you made her feel when you did and when you touched her...like...like she was worth something..."God, is that really how she felt? Like she was just… “You mean something, hell, you mean everything to me Tara,” I said softly, an edge of urgency crept into my voice but I didn’t care. A moment ago I was pissed off that she didn’t seem to want to see that everything I did was for her, but maybe she really didn’t see…maybe I was doing the wrong things
( ... )
His voice - not really his words - told me that what he was saying was true. that set me on fire and made me crave him even more then I already did. The way he touched me nearly made my body hum as I looked up at him, a smile pulled at the corners of my lips when he looked at me 'that way'.
“I’m sorry I’ve been…rough, I just though, I don’t know what I bloody thought. I s’pose I thought deep down you were enjoying it rough.”I sighed softly and nodded. "I do...but there's still more then that I like...I love any excuse for you to touch me. The rough, is new. It's hard for all of me to grasp, but that doesn't mean I don't want it." I admitted before he kissed me gently
( ... )
She was so beautiful in the dim light, and suddenly I gained a whole new appreciation for candles. She wanted me, guess I knew she did, but hearing her say it was always a thrill, ‘specially since I wanted her too. Always
( ... )
She did have a point and I felt a wave of affection wash over me as I looked at her smiling face and I smiled back at her lightly. I was about to say something, probably something stupid, probably whatever the bloody hell popped into my head, that seemed to be the theme these days, but she'd already turned away so I was off the hook.
Don’t know what I would’ve said anyway, all I knew was that I was glad she was smiling again, and the fact that she was smiling at me, well, that was a bonus.
Wasn’t long before she was quiet again and I could tell that she was having those same old feelings she always had after we'd had a mind-blowing shag. Guess that was the point though, wasn't it? I was the only one that actually thought it was mind-blowing; I'd wager she thought it was dirty and wrong. Still such a good little girl at heart, it'd amuse me if it wasn't driving her batty.
And the last thing I want is her going batty, ( ... )
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So she wasn’t really seeing the positive aspects of this little situation, then? Big bloody surprise, that was. Anyway, sod her, I didn’t bloody lie…hell, I’d looked the book for all of three minutes, I hadn’t had sodding time enough to lie. You did say it wasn’t what it looked like, not really true that, was it?
But before I had time to think about it anymore the bint was laying into me, fists flying and bloody hell, she wasn’t holding back and it hurt like hell. Well, she could get buggered; didn’t she know that everything I did, I did for her?
Moving quickly I grabbed her arms and spun her around, pinning her to the wall and pressing my body up against hers to make sure that was where she bloody well stayed. The feel of her body against mine, as always, got me all hot and bothered and my cock twitched as my mind ran through all the possible ways that I could discipline her. But this wasn’t the time…
"Why...How could you do this to me?"‘specially when ( ... )
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I looked at him as he stepped back from me. "Spike..." Why didn't he get this? Why didn't he understand anything that was going on. "This soul that you want so desperately to get rid of is the same soul that fell in love with you." I spat at him, my voice low. "All these things that I'm feeling, that are going against this demon inside of me they are me, they make me who I am, who I was." I could swear my heart was breaking at all this fighting, this was going to be a constant war we were in, I could feel it.
“Hell, Tara, it even makes you feel guilty about us mak-shagging…shouldn’t be that way when two people love each other.”
I narrowed my eyes at him and it was almost like something small snapped inside me. "I don't feel guilty about us being together. You were right to correct yourself, Spike. We don't make love, heck, I don ( ... )
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“That’s not fair,” I spat, burning on the inside with rage and hurt. “I do love you. Just ‘cos I made a bloody mistake. Bloody hell, me looking at a damn spell book doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
"I wish you'd just let me die that night...then I wouldn't feel like this...I wouldn't...I wouldn't have started to hate you." “No,” I said softly, walking towards her. I think I was scared…yeah, bloody hell I was scared, but I hated it when she talked like that and I couldn’t bear to hear her say she hated me. This situation was fast getting out of my control ( ... )
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She liked it soft and slow…she liked being with me. Not big bad Spike, not a vicious killer. Me. I was just so caught up in my ways that I’d forgotten that she wasn’t Dru. I didn’t need to be constantly proving how brutal and cold I could be, with Tara I could let that go. I mean rough and tumble is all kinds of fun…didn’t exactly want to let it go, but ( ... )
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Nothing but confusion ran through me and I couldn't help but lean into his touch, it just felt so good that I couldn't bare to be away from him. But it was painfully clear that I had to be, I knew where I had to go and maybe he'd give me some balance. Spike would never forgive me if I went to him though.
We had forever to fix it and the look in his eyes now proved that we'd get through that when - and if - I came back.
Selfishly I didn't tell him that I was going, not with the look in his eyes, maybe he got the point and I wouldn't have to leave after all.
I reached up and touched his face, leaning up on tiptoes and kissing him softly, I didn't speak - I was afraid of my own voice - but I did nod slightly against his lips, reaching down and lacing my fingers with his, letting him lead as I worried about my own fight inside my mind.
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She couldn’t wrap me ‘round her sodding little finger like she seemed to always be able to do if I didn’t.
Breaking the kiss, I led her over to the table and sat her down. She still seemed a bit pissed, so it’d probably be best to pull out all the stops on this one. Never let it be said that I couldn’t charm a bird if I had to.
“You stay there a minute, love,” I said smiling. “I’ll come and get you when it’s ready.”
With that I walked off into the back room. When what’s ready? I asked myself and it was a good bloody question. I didn’t know what I was going to do, all I knew was that she wanted ‘normal’. I didn’t ( ... )
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“I’m sorry I’ve been…rough, I just though, I don’t know what I bloody thought. I s’pose I thought deep down you were enjoying it rough.”I sighed softly and nodded. "I do...but there's still more then that I like...I love any excuse for you to touch me. The rough, is new. It's hard for all of me to grasp, but that doesn't mean I don't want it." I admitted before he kissed me gently ( ... )
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