(no subject)
i can't stop crying.
what the fuck is with me?
i can't take any of this anymore.
i don't know what to do. i don't know what to fucking do.
what has become of me? why have i let myself become such a mess?
stupid stupid fucking idiot. damn self-pity.
i nearly got run over earlier, and i'm wondering why i moved away from where i was standing. i never even look anymore when i cross the road.
i need a fucking slap around the face. or something.
there's only one thing i want right now, and i'll never, ever get it.
you know, just when you think things can't get worse, they do.
they always fucking do.
[edit; my wednesdays have been made a thousand times worse. fuck you jobcentre. i. um...things have gone too far now. way too far. um, also, i have a problem. i have this "thing" where i feel like i can't go out, because of how mad i get and how shit fucking depressed i feel when i see anything or any one, etc, and i feel like i can't stay in because it's lame lame lame and stupid and shit, and i want to get away from stuff that happens in the house, and the people in it. including me. fuck. FUCK. ..i wish i could just explain every single thing that has happened since we've been here, etc. but it's too much, no one wants to hear, and i don't even want to think about it, let alone talk about it. you know what though? a lot of it is in my head. things are bad, yes, but i always blow shit way out of proportion.]
what the fuck is with me?
i can't take any of this anymore.
i don't know what to do. i don't know what to fucking do.
what has become of me? why have i let myself become such a mess?
stupid stupid fucking idiot. damn self-pity.
i nearly got run over earlier, and i'm wondering why i moved away from where i was standing. i never even look anymore when i cross the road.
i need a fucking slap around the face. or something.
there's only one thing i want right now, and i'll never, ever get it.
you know, just when you think things can't get worse, they do.
they always fucking do.
[edit; my wednesdays have been made a thousand times worse. fuck you jobcentre. i. um...things have gone too far now. way too far. um, also, i have a problem. i have this "thing" where i feel like i can't go out, because of how mad i get and how shit fucking depressed i feel when i see anything or any one, etc, and i feel like i can't stay in because it's lame lame lame and stupid and shit, and i want to get away from stuff that happens in the house, and the people in it. including me. fuck. FUCK. ..i wish i could just explain every single thing that has happened since we've been here, etc. but it's too much, no one wants to hear, and i don't even want to think about it, let alone talk about it. you know what though? a lot of it is in my head. things are bad, yes, but i always blow shit way out of proportion.]