i used to write poetry, now i dont. and it makes me slightly sag
'We cannot be sure of having something to live for unless we are willing to die for it' was a famous line of ernesto che guevara. never before have a heard a battle cry made of such desperation. life is for living we all know, and i don't wanna die for that. (dante gave hypocrites heavy leaden capes to carry around for eternity... wouldn't that be an ironic hell for me... making it more accurate)
i only thought of that because i've been trying to remember some of my old 'battle cries' lately, and every time i do i realize that they were just me fighting for some kind of guevara like revolution, whether it was for politics, humanity, ethics, words, pogo sticks or happiness. but i dont feel that way any more. i still feel like something in this world has to change, and i still secretly think i can deliver that change (somewhere in the way back of my head), but i've come to realize that you can't really do anything until you truly have added that belief to your life, so it comes up in every action and thought without you even realizing it. once you've gained the proper perspective on a situation you stop seeing it as some kind of romantic/heroic/epic event, like so many novels and movies had led us to believe (cue background music). Seeing any individual human as some kind of idol, (e.g. guevara, christ, kerouac, skywalker, lolita, hemingway, durden, moss, churchill, earhart, rambo, etc...) limits your own abilities to the limits your hero has established. once you fully understand their beliefs, the how and why that led up to their actions, you can see them from a platform of equality and won't revert to their one-liners or deeds when trying to accomplish something of your own. make the concept of something important, not the symbols, not the posters on the wall, the fuel that fires you. when you first pick up a hammer you know what it's used for, but it still feels clumsy in your hand. you test its weight, you swing it a few times, you find the muscles used to get precise control. as time goes by you find you can be both gentle and accurate, and powerful and destructive. it becomes an extension of your arm, you don't have to think about where the hammer is going to go or how hard its going to hit anymore, you just do it. your thoughts then can be directed to the application, rather than the use. a hero is a hammer. learn from them, hammers do no good behind glass or pinned to a wall.
i had a long philosophy conversation last night. lasted til 4 am. with so many ideas out in the open, connecting any two or three together became as simple as reaching out my hand tying a string around them. everything was within reach, everything was so simple. there is no question that should ever be left unanswered. i can tell you why you get frustrated at fat people, or what the connection is you feel with blue raincoats, or what god means just as easily. its all right there, ideas floating like glowing balls tied together, a huge spider web, the answer to anything as simple as following a strand of webbing from the question ball to the reason ball nearest to it, to the next ball if you still aren't satisfied. with enough information from both sides of the equation: logical and emotional, male and female, yin and yang, nommo and yurugu, lucifer and yahweh, dark and light... anything can be answered. then apply to real life. without enough info, when you apply, you uncover questions and have to return to education for more information gathering. with enough info, you will have no questions. no fears. no retreat. no uncertainty. no posters. no dreams, sadly. but then life would be the dream, and you can live in it.
anything can be done, there is no fear there are only unanswered questions. there are always answers, its up to you to ask the question.
p.s. im spinning towards nuttier, fly high, turn left, look right. but im not confused about 'happiness' anymore. and i am once again the most confident person i see daily.
i only thought of that because i've been trying to remember some of my old 'battle cries' lately, and every time i do i realize that they were just me fighting for some kind of guevara like revolution, whether it was for politics, humanity, ethics, words, pogo sticks or happiness. but i dont feel that way any more. i still feel like something in this world has to change, and i still secretly think i can deliver that change (somewhere in the way back of my head), but i've come to realize that you can't really do anything until you truly have added that belief to your life, so it comes up in every action and thought without you even realizing it. once you've gained the proper perspective on a situation you stop seeing it as some kind of romantic/heroic/epic event, like so many novels and movies had led us to believe (cue background music). Seeing any individual human as some kind of idol, (e.g. guevara, christ, kerouac, skywalker, lolita, hemingway, durden, moss, churchill, earhart, rambo, etc...) limits your own abilities to the limits your hero has established. once you fully understand their beliefs, the how and why that led up to their actions, you can see them from a platform of equality and won't revert to their one-liners or deeds when trying to accomplish something of your own. make the concept of something important, not the symbols, not the posters on the wall, the fuel that fires you. when you first pick up a hammer you know what it's used for, but it still feels clumsy in your hand. you test its weight, you swing it a few times, you find the muscles used to get precise control. as time goes by you find you can be both gentle and accurate, and powerful and destructive. it becomes an extension of your arm, you don't have to think about where the hammer is going to go or how hard its going to hit anymore, you just do it. your thoughts then can be directed to the application, rather than the use. a hero is a hammer. learn from them, hammers do no good behind glass or pinned to a wall.
i had a long philosophy conversation last night. lasted til 4 am. with so many ideas out in the open, connecting any two or three together became as simple as reaching out my hand tying a string around them. everything was within reach, everything was so simple. there is no question that should ever be left unanswered. i can tell you why you get frustrated at fat people, or what the connection is you feel with blue raincoats, or what god means just as easily. its all right there, ideas floating like glowing balls tied together, a huge spider web, the answer to anything as simple as following a strand of webbing from the question ball to the reason ball nearest to it, to the next ball if you still aren't satisfied. with enough information from both sides of the equation: logical and emotional, male and female, yin and yang, nommo and yurugu, lucifer and yahweh, dark and light... anything can be answered. then apply to real life. without enough info, when you apply, you uncover questions and have to return to education for more information gathering. with enough info, you will have no questions. no fears. no retreat. no uncertainty. no posters. no dreams, sadly. but then life would be the dream, and you can live in it.
anything can be done, there is no fear there are only unanswered questions. there are always answers, its up to you to ask the question.
p.s. im spinning towards nuttier, fly high, turn left, look right. but im not confused about 'happiness' anymore. and i am once again the most confident person i see daily.