she kisses me with her eyes i hide i hide i try to kiss her with my words but thats absurd so absurd
i think im in love but im not allowed to be. ...not allowed? yes, i made the rule. it all makes sense, really, i swear. if i get her, then i lose. she has to come to me. and this isn't some stupid masochism game im playing with myself, i want her in my life. lots and lots. lots and lots. im sorry marge for not remembering to come to your house saturday night. this girl made me forget the rest of the world. i left my cell phone on the chair, even though cell phones are usually things no one forgets.
i cut my hair today. not all of it, just a few inches that hung way down the back. they were originally part of the mullet area, but it grew so much you couldn't tell it from the mass of hair. so i chopped a bunch off with my glass pattern shears and it feels better. i still have long girl like hair though. no more fabio.
this girl natalie is hilarious. i have to write that just so i can always remember. i don't think its the kind of funny everyone laughs at. in fact,i think shes good at offending people when she tries, but we laughed harder on saturday than in a long time. she bites people, and were going to make movies together and try to stay up 72 straight hours, working included. then this little girl did a big keg stand for some reason. i wasn't in the room. it was dumb. then she puked projectile-style on the wall. she was still laughing, everyone else wasn't. i was.
uhm.... im researching van goghs letters in correspondence with his brother around the time he painted starry nite so i can know what was going through his head at the time for my reproduction. a lot of stuff about knowing hes insane and then he goes into a mental hospital. he suspects his neighbors in his town of odd things and takes 3 hour baths every day. he researched an encryption on the tomb of some ancient queen, and thinks he found some meaning in it. he studies myth and religion and time casually. i like him already and im only done one of four months of letters. i hope tarmeh can help me figure out how to get the cloth to attach to lead, and i really hope i can remember my 7th grade shop class on basic wiring. maybe paul can show me electrical stuff... i only know how to mess with fuse boxes and string wires together, but i need to put a bunch of lights onto a single switch and still have them blink alternately.
the ticket i got in mikes truck went from $15 to $100 because i took to long to pay it. randy still hasn't given me my $1800. im going to start packing lunch on wednesday. not tomorrow, i ran out of bread. i need a car pronto, my island of abington is done for. im out. anyone know where to get a cheap car (or truck or jeep) anywhere is SE PA?
uhm, im finally taking care of projects. i ordered glass to fix Mr. Marcianti's window. i patterned out the Yin/Yang for Pete. I built one and designed a second panel for Mike's lantern. i made a buddhist with a kite, and cut but didnt build a re-pro of an old japanese wood cut of a womans back with a black widow tattoo. i only didnt build it because i forgot my lead.
does anyone have a project for me? any cool image you want to see in stained glass?
blah. im misusing livejournal. somewhere i stopped thinking and just started using this as a place to spread all my thoughts out and reorganize them. somewhere i just stopped thinking in general. i know but dont want to admit ive lost some flare... sometime during the whole june thing... i feel like a deflated balloon of my old self. im happy and having fun, but i just know i dont have that wahoo i used to have. i think id even be afraid to throw some clothes in a bag and hit the road. i used to jump to the challenge, now i feel like i have something to lose. my bank account or job or khakis or something. i broke my own most important rule, never get too attached, unless it has to do with love. i want my old me back. but ill figure that out on my own time. i think stepping aside from writing was a bad idea. i thought id put it off till 30 when i would have more time, but by then, especially at the rate im going, all my emotion and curiosity will be dried up. nothing excites me the way it used to.... thats so damn scary. i wish i could feel as intensely as i used to. i bleed every day and still dont remember how to feel like something important is going on. poor me, boo hoo.
i do like old country singers.
heres john prine:
"Christ I'm so mixed up and lonely
I can't even make friends with my brain
I'm too young to be where I'm going
But I'm too old to go back again
The station was empty
The trains were all gone
I reached in my pocket
And I wanted for dawn
The clock played drums
And I hummed the sax
And the wind whistled down
The railroad tracks
Hey three for a quarter
One for a dime
I'll bet it's tomorrow
By Rocky Mountain time"
i cut my hair today. not all of it, just a few inches that hung way down the back. they were originally part of the mullet area, but it grew so much you couldn't tell it from the mass of hair. so i chopped a bunch off with my glass pattern shears and it feels better. i still have long girl like hair though. no more fabio.
this girl natalie is hilarious. i have to write that just so i can always remember. i don't think its the kind of funny everyone laughs at. in fact,i think shes good at offending people when she tries, but we laughed harder on saturday than in a long time. she bites people, and were going to make movies together and try to stay up 72 straight hours, working included. then this little girl did a big keg stand for some reason. i wasn't in the room. it was dumb. then she puked projectile-style on the wall. she was still laughing, everyone else wasn't. i was.
uhm.... im researching van goghs letters in correspondence with his brother around the time he painted starry nite so i can know what was going through his head at the time for my reproduction. a lot of stuff about knowing hes insane and then he goes into a mental hospital. he suspects his neighbors in his town of odd things and takes 3 hour baths every day. he researched an encryption on the tomb of some ancient queen, and thinks he found some meaning in it. he studies myth and religion and time casually. i like him already and im only done one of four months of letters. i hope tarmeh can help me figure out how to get the cloth to attach to lead, and i really hope i can remember my 7th grade shop class on basic wiring. maybe paul can show me electrical stuff... i only know how to mess with fuse boxes and string wires together, but i need to put a bunch of lights onto a single switch and still have them blink alternately.
the ticket i got in mikes truck went from $15 to $100 because i took to long to pay it. randy still hasn't given me my $1800. im going to start packing lunch on wednesday. not tomorrow, i ran out of bread. i need a car pronto, my island of abington is done for. im out. anyone know where to get a cheap car (or truck or jeep) anywhere is SE PA?
uhm, im finally taking care of projects. i ordered glass to fix Mr. Marcianti's window. i patterned out the Yin/Yang for Pete. I built one and designed a second panel for Mike's lantern. i made a buddhist with a kite, and cut but didnt build a re-pro of an old japanese wood cut of a womans back with a black widow tattoo. i only didnt build it because i forgot my lead.
does anyone have a project for me? any cool image you want to see in stained glass?
blah. im misusing livejournal. somewhere i stopped thinking and just started using this as a place to spread all my thoughts out and reorganize them. somewhere i just stopped thinking in general. i know but dont want to admit ive lost some flare... sometime during the whole june thing... i feel like a deflated balloon of my old self. im happy and having fun, but i just know i dont have that wahoo i used to have. i think id even be afraid to throw some clothes in a bag and hit the road. i used to jump to the challenge, now i feel like i have something to lose. my bank account or job or khakis or something. i broke my own most important rule, never get too attached, unless it has to do with love. i want my old me back. but ill figure that out on my own time. i think stepping aside from writing was a bad idea. i thought id put it off till 30 when i would have more time, but by then, especially at the rate im going, all my emotion and curiosity will be dried up. nothing excites me the way it used to.... thats so damn scary. i wish i could feel as intensely as i used to. i bleed every day and still dont remember how to feel like something important is going on. poor me, boo hoo.
i do like old country singers.
heres john prine:
"Christ I'm so mixed up and lonely
I can't even make friends with my brain
I'm too young to be where I'm going
But I'm too old to go back again
The station was empty
The trains were all gone
I reached in my pocket
And I wanted for dawn
The clock played drums
And I hummed the sax
And the wind whistled down
The railroad tracks
Hey three for a quarter
One for a dime
I'll bet it's tomorrow
By Rocky Mountain time"