The power of words, the power of alcohol, the power of god.
it is about 1:30 am and i cant sleep. The one and only thing that runs through my head is, well, everything. I just got off the phone with the one person that actually knows me. The one guy that never questioned me. Never hurt me(intentionally). Never doubted me. He was/is the one guy that always understood me.
Why is it now that it doesnt feel that way? He doesnt understand me in alot of ways. I thought he did but, he doesnt. Who never hurt me but said some powerfull things that got to me. Badly. Who in only so many words he managed to question my thoughts, my ideas. I know he didn't mean to. I realize that. But i don't think he understands what so many words can actually do to a person. It all ties together. You say hurtfull words to a friend if comes back as, Well was he/she really a good friend? Did he/ she mean the words he/she said? You see, you make a painful remark to a person and it all comes together. I dont mean to make this person angry at me. I didnt and i dont even know what i did. Even after talking to him. I still dont know what i did wrong. If anything. I can only say one thing about this subject. If you read this i want you to try and peice together this comment.....
People wonder why i HATE to be around, involved in, "the power of alcohol." It kind of all makes sense. Where has that gotten me besides hurt? O yah thats right i already know that answer. The answer is..........
NOWHERE
I did something though. (When we got off the phone.) I did something that i havent done in a long time. I sat on my back porch,i looked in the sky, and i prayed. I prayed that one day, some how, everything is going to be alright.
I am done writing for now but i dont want to leave with out explaining somethings. What i want to tell you and clarify for you is, no matter what scene it is that i am in. No matter how good somethings can get or how bad somethings may get. I will always love him. I will always know that it will pass and become the past. Its called moving on. I just dont want any one to think that i dont. We may have our differences but, that doesnt matter to me. What matters to me is him. And i can promise you. I can give you my word. He WILL understand me. He WILL NOT question me. He WILL NOT hurt me. You know how i know all this? You want to know how i can be confident enough to give you my word?
Because he gave me his.
Why is it now that it doesnt feel that way? He doesnt understand me in alot of ways. I thought he did but, he doesnt. Who never hurt me but said some powerfull things that got to me. Badly. Who in only so many words he managed to question my thoughts, my ideas. I know he didn't mean to. I realize that. But i don't think he understands what so many words can actually do to a person. It all ties together. You say hurtfull words to a friend if comes back as, Well was he/she really a good friend? Did he/ she mean the words he/she said? You see, you make a painful remark to a person and it all comes together. I dont mean to make this person angry at me. I didnt and i dont even know what i did. Even after talking to him. I still dont know what i did wrong. If anything. I can only say one thing about this subject. If you read this i want you to try and peice together this comment.....
People wonder why i HATE to be around, involved in, "the power of alcohol." It kind of all makes sense. Where has that gotten me besides hurt? O yah thats right i already know that answer. The answer is..........
NOWHERE
I did something though. (When we got off the phone.) I did something that i havent done in a long time. I sat on my back porch,i looked in the sky, and i prayed. I prayed that one day, some how, everything is going to be alright.
I am done writing for now but i dont want to leave with out explaining somethings. What i want to tell you and clarify for you is, no matter what scene it is that i am in. No matter how good somethings can get or how bad somethings may get. I will always love him. I will always know that it will pass and become the past. Its called moving on. I just dont want any one to think that i dont. We may have our differences but, that doesnt matter to me. What matters to me is him. And i can promise you. I can give you my word. He WILL understand me. He WILL NOT question me. He WILL NOT hurt me. You know how i know all this? You want to know how i can be confident enough to give you my word?
Because he gave me his.