SVK26 Jessica's Snobby Club
This was one of my favourite SVKs that I’d borrow from the library over and over and over…
The cover is pretty good, with Jessica’s withering pout and Elizabeth’s self righteous indignation. Jessica has an orchid (though the one in the interior illustrations is enormous) and Elizabeth has the corresponding sunflower. Nothing to complain about, really.
Although, did anyone else try to distinguish whether the i in “Kids” is dotted with a blob or a crude heart? I could never decide.
Chapter 1 - Gifts from Hawaii
The twins come home from school and find two packages have arrived in the mail - one for Jessica and one for Steven. Presents from their grandparents holidaying in Hawaii! Elizabeth doesn’t have one, it’s apparently lost in the mail. I’m more concerned about why the grandparents sent the kids’ presents in three separate packages, and why they’re mailing them at ALL. Are they never coming back? And I also want to know which grandparents they are: Alice’s parents (French resistance Marjorie and Random McHusbanderson) or Ned’s parents from that Wakefield Legacy book I never read? WE NEVER FIND OUT).
Jessica’s present is a silk orchid, which is apparently a huge deal because Lila once got two from ol’ George and was going to give one to Jess, but Ellen got it by default because Jess was absent on the day Lila wanted to be rid of it.
We also never find out what Steven got. I bet it was cooler than an orchid.
Chapter 2 - The Orchid Club
Jess waves her orchid around in front of Lila and Ellen the next day at school, and they decide to all wear theirs tomorrow. And form a club! And only girls with silk orchids can join it! And it can be called the Unicorn Orchid Club! Lila and Ellen maintain that Liz can’t be in it till her orchid arrives in the mail, and Jess tries to convince Liz to grovel. Liz couldn’t care less about being in a club with such a dumb membership condition, and I’m with her on that one. Jess is all sad about being in a club without Liz, but she gets over it.
Chapter 3 - Sunflowers
The twins are getting dressed, and when Liz tries to wear a purple sweater like Jess’s, Jess freaks out because IT’S AN ORCHID CLUB RULE TO WEAR PURPLE and Liz isn’t an orchid. Okay, we all knew Janet Howell was pretty sad. Her role at SVMS was to befriend and boss around girls who were younger than her, coin phrases such as the Unicorner, and force her friends/subjects (frubjects? Not as catchy as frenemies, sadly) to wear purple every day. But this just makes her so pathetic I can hardly stand it. Being the founder of the Unicorn Club is her one defining character trait, and all along she just ripped off the whole thing from something Jessica and Lila thought up when they were seven. And I would also venture to suggest that orchids are a little higher on the sophistication scale than unicorns.
Anyway. Liz, Amy and Eva are trash talking the orchids and decide to start their own club. The Sunflower Club will let in anyone who wants to be in it, and they’ll draw sunflowers on the backs of their hands.
Chapter 4 - Vanilla Bean
Lila brings a book about orchids that she found in her dad’s library to school. Fun fact: the first time I returned this book to the library, I asked my mum to help me find a book about orchids to borrow. She was very weirded out, but obliging. It sat untouched in my room until it was due back at the library. Anyway, Lila uses the book to choose orchid names for them all. Lila is Lady’s Slipper, Ellen is Moccasin Flower, and Jess is Vanilla. Jess is rightly indignant at her crappy name, but Lila cares not. I can’t decide if I wish the Unicorns had retained this feature or not. The coolest girls in school referring to themselves as things like Glitter Mane…
Meanwhile, Julie and Caroline try to join the orchids, but huffily go to join the sunflowers once they’re refused.
Chapter 5 - Late Delivery
While Liz is making Jess’s valentine (yeah, valentine’s day is kind of a background thing in this one) her orchid arrives. And she doesn’t want to be in the unicorn orchid club (it wasn’t a joke that time, I really wrote unicorn club).
Chapter 6 - Name Calling
Lila and Ellen find out Elizabeth won’t join the club. Jess has a hissy fit when Liz won’t call her Vanilla and vows not to give her the valentine she made.
Chapter 7 - Valentine’s Day Blues
At the class party, Elizabeth hands out the class valentines from the mailbox. Out loud. Like in Happy Valentine’s Day Charlie Brown. She keeps her valentine to Jess in her notebook so she can deliver it in person, but gets all upset when there isn’t one from Jess for her in the mailbox.
Chapter 8 - No Fun
Most of the class is at the park. Jess is bored because there aren’t enough kids in the orchid club to play any games and watches tag jealously. Which is ridiculous because Jess hates tag, and those three only play hopscotch and skipping rope. Three people = totally fine! But Jess has had enough of the orchid club and stomps off.
Chapter 9 - Elizabeth’s Plan
The twins make up, hug, and exchange valentines. Jess joins the sunflowers and plays tag. I dare you to find another SVK book where Jess wants to play tag, I dare you! Jess wants Lila and Ellen to be freed from the monotony of an unfun club, and Liz formulates a plan…
Chapter 10 - Kidnapped
Liz’s plan is Jess telling Lila and Ellen that if they don’t join the sunflowers they’ll be kidnapped. ie chase them and, when caught, draw sunflowers on their hands. They get caught, they laugh, and a good time is had by all.
Meanwhile, Bruce is introduced to the series! Lila calls him Mr Stuck-Up. They see him ride his bike to the park gates and get picked up by a limo. This is somehow foreshadowing the next book, The Sweet Valley Cleanup Team.
Did you know that SVK has Reader of the Month essays? This one suggests a book where “[they] enter this contest and win the trip … and tell us about all the fun things [they] did on the trip to California.
It boggles my mind on several levels. This kid is a genius.
The cover is pretty good, with Jessica’s withering pout and Elizabeth’s self righteous indignation. Jessica has an orchid (though the one in the interior illustrations is enormous) and Elizabeth has the corresponding sunflower. Nothing to complain about, really.
Although, did anyone else try to distinguish whether the i in “Kids” is dotted with a blob or a crude heart? I could never decide.
Chapter 1 - Gifts from Hawaii
The twins come home from school and find two packages have arrived in the mail - one for Jessica and one for Steven. Presents from their grandparents holidaying in Hawaii! Elizabeth doesn’t have one, it’s apparently lost in the mail. I’m more concerned about why the grandparents sent the kids’ presents in three separate packages, and why they’re mailing them at ALL. Are they never coming back? And I also want to know which grandparents they are: Alice’s parents (French resistance Marjorie and Random McHusbanderson) or Ned’s parents from that Wakefield Legacy book I never read? WE NEVER FIND OUT).
Jessica’s present is a silk orchid, which is apparently a huge deal because Lila once got two from ol’ George and was going to give one to Jess, but Ellen got it by default because Jess was absent on the day Lila wanted to be rid of it.
We also never find out what Steven got. I bet it was cooler than an orchid.
Chapter 2 - The Orchid Club
Jess waves her orchid around in front of Lila and Ellen the next day at school, and they decide to all wear theirs tomorrow. And form a club! And only girls with silk orchids can join it! And it can be called the Unicorn Orchid Club! Lila and Ellen maintain that Liz can’t be in it till her orchid arrives in the mail, and Jess tries to convince Liz to grovel. Liz couldn’t care less about being in a club with such a dumb membership condition, and I’m with her on that one. Jess is all sad about being in a club without Liz, but she gets over it.
Chapter 3 - Sunflowers
The twins are getting dressed, and when Liz tries to wear a purple sweater like Jess’s, Jess freaks out because IT’S AN ORCHID CLUB RULE TO WEAR PURPLE and Liz isn’t an orchid. Okay, we all knew Janet Howell was pretty sad. Her role at SVMS was to befriend and boss around girls who were younger than her, coin phrases such as the Unicorner, and force her friends/subjects (frubjects? Not as catchy as frenemies, sadly) to wear purple every day. But this just makes her so pathetic I can hardly stand it. Being the founder of the Unicorn Club is her one defining character trait, and all along she just ripped off the whole thing from something Jessica and Lila thought up when they were seven. And I would also venture to suggest that orchids are a little higher on the sophistication scale than unicorns.
Anyway. Liz, Amy and Eva are trash talking the orchids and decide to start their own club. The Sunflower Club will let in anyone who wants to be in it, and they’ll draw sunflowers on the backs of their hands.
Chapter 4 - Vanilla Bean
Lila brings a book about orchids that she found in her dad’s library to school. Fun fact: the first time I returned this book to the library, I asked my mum to help me find a book about orchids to borrow. She was very weirded out, but obliging. It sat untouched in my room until it was due back at the library. Anyway, Lila uses the book to choose orchid names for them all. Lila is Lady’s Slipper, Ellen is Moccasin Flower, and Jess is Vanilla. Jess is rightly indignant at her crappy name, but Lila cares not. I can’t decide if I wish the Unicorns had retained this feature or not. The coolest girls in school referring to themselves as things like Glitter Mane…
Meanwhile, Julie and Caroline try to join the orchids, but huffily go to join the sunflowers once they’re refused.
Chapter 5 - Late Delivery
While Liz is making Jess’s valentine (yeah, valentine’s day is kind of a background thing in this one) her orchid arrives. And she doesn’t want to be in the unicorn orchid club (it wasn’t a joke that time, I really wrote unicorn club).
Chapter 6 - Name Calling
Lila and Ellen find out Elizabeth won’t join the club. Jess has a hissy fit when Liz won’t call her Vanilla and vows not to give her the valentine she made.
Chapter 7 - Valentine’s Day Blues
At the class party, Elizabeth hands out the class valentines from the mailbox. Out loud. Like in Happy Valentine’s Day Charlie Brown. She keeps her valentine to Jess in her notebook so she can deliver it in person, but gets all upset when there isn’t one from Jess for her in the mailbox.
Chapter 8 - No Fun
Most of the class is at the park. Jess is bored because there aren’t enough kids in the orchid club to play any games and watches tag jealously. Which is ridiculous because Jess hates tag, and those three only play hopscotch and skipping rope. Three people = totally fine! But Jess has had enough of the orchid club and stomps off.
Chapter 9 - Elizabeth’s Plan
The twins make up, hug, and exchange valentines. Jess joins the sunflowers and plays tag. I dare you to find another SVK book where Jess wants to play tag, I dare you! Jess wants Lila and Ellen to be freed from the monotony of an unfun club, and Liz formulates a plan…
Chapter 10 - Kidnapped
Liz’s plan is Jess telling Lila and Ellen that if they don’t join the sunflowers they’ll be kidnapped. ie chase them and, when caught, draw sunflowers on their hands. They get caught, they laugh, and a good time is had by all.
Meanwhile, Bruce is introduced to the series! Lila calls him Mr Stuck-Up. They see him ride his bike to the park gates and get picked up by a limo. This is somehow foreshadowing the next book, The Sweet Valley Cleanup Team.
Did you know that SVK has Reader of the Month essays? This one suggests a book where “[they] enter this contest and win the trip … and tell us about all the fun things [they] did on the trip to California.
It boggles my mind on several levels. This kid is a genius.