#109--Jessica's Secret Love
Hey everyone! I've been a lurker for sometime, and finally joined in for the fun and snarking. I was thrilled to see that no one had claimed this book, because it's my favorite of all time and I'm dying to snark it. Between Jessica and Bruce's fake-date, the awesome Lila Fowler falling in love, and of course, Liz's foray into self-help, it really lends itself to snark.
The cover is pretty accurate, as far as Jessica and Jeremy go. Liz's dress is completely wrong, but her Peeping Tom antics are right on the money, and it isn't as ridiculous as some of the covers we've seen. And now, onto the recap!
We start off with another day at the beach in Sweet Valley. The twins have just returned from their trip to London, and have decided to catch some rays with Lila and Enid. Jessica asks Lila for some sunscreen, and everyone is shocked that Jessica would want her tan to suffer for even a moment. She explains that everyone in England had pale skin, and that she's trying to cultivate a European pallor. Is it too much to hope that Daniella Fromage is making a comeback to Sweet Valley?
Enid really has a knack for nutshelling complex and ridiculous plots, and asks the twins, " I know you guys got all mixed up with that psycho who thought he was a werewolf--but did you manage to have any fun at all?" Elizabeth mentally notes that she hasn't had a chance to tell Enid the whole story, but really, it seems like Enid's got a handle on the finer points, there. Liz admits to herself that she's really embarrassed and confused by what went on in London, and tells everyone that she's glad Todd is off visiting his grandmother for two weeks, as it will give her time to get her head together. Todd's really a bundle of fun, isn't he? Between whale watching, dates at the laundromat, and his heavy schedule of toddpunching, I'm surprised he manages to carve out the time to dribble a basketball.
Jessica has obviously reached her threshold of hanging-out-with-Enid time, and she asks Lila to go for a jog along the beach with her. Naturally, Lila is horrified at the suggestion, and tells Jess she'd much rather take a nap. After a bit more prodding, Lila gets the message that Jess really wants to get away from Enid and Liz, and the two go off running down the beach.
Liz tells Enid that she no longer trusts her instincts when it comes to guys, because got completely carried away with Luke, and she never picked up on any of his "tortured feelings." Forget about the tortured feelings, the guy was ripping people's throats out and writing sonnets about his double life. I'm pretty sure even Mr. Collins could've doped that one out. Even Angela Lansbury would've smelled a rat. She admits that she thought he was meant for her ("in a different way than Todd") because he was a poet, and that she can't believe she made such a big mistake. Enid gives Liz all the concerned looks and sympathetic glances she could hope for, and tells her that she can at least trust Todd. Liz hasn't quite gotten over her flair for drama though, and ominously says that she can't even trust herself at this point. Which is an excellent point, since the next time a psychopath comes to town he pretends to be a poet, and Liz falls for the same scam all over again.
Meanwhile, Lila and Jess are still jogging down the beach, until Lila finally puts her foot down and claims that they're far enough away. Jessica explains to Lila that Liz really got in over her head in London, and that ever since they've been back, Liz has been moping around and thinking that there must be something wrong with her. Lila agrees, and says that there definitely is something wrong with Liz--she's been dating Todd for far too long. Hee! She calls him a drip, and then turns her attention to buffing her feet in the sand. As usual, Lila's honed in on the point perfectly.
Jess fills Lila in on her fling with Lord Robert, explaining that they both knew it was a temporary romance. But now that she's back in Sweet Valley, she thinks she's finally ready to move on from Sam's untimely magical-vodka demise. Lila tells her that she's been brave and strong, and that if she's ready to meet someone new, she ought to make sure there's an eligible friend or brother for Lila as well. Lila, of course, has her priorities straight.
Even though Jess and Lila might occasionally bicker about some things, it's clear these two have a really great friendship. Whenever it's just the two of them, they can be really sweet to each other.
Jess suggests they go for a run up to the point, and takes off while Lila is still protesting the idea. A frisbee whacks her on the head in mid-jog, and Lila quickly runs over to examine Jess' head. She makes sure there isn't any blood, and calls whoever threw it a jerk. But since it's Sweet Valley, the perpetrator is a "bronzed Greek god in black swim trunks." Both Jess and Lila are gobsmacked at how gorgeous he is, as he comes over to apologize. While the bronze god helps Jessica to her feet, his equally gorgeous friend Robby introduces himself to Lila, and the two go off for sodas.
Jessica introduces herself, but bronzey doesn't give his name (as we all know by now, it's Jeremy.) They don't even have a conversation, they just gaze longingly at each other and throw out occasional sentence fragments. He says he never expected to meet her now, and Jessica says it feels like fate. He kisses her, and Jessica realizes that she hasn't had feelings like this since Sam, and that for the first time, this "stranger's kiss had healed the pain." After the kiss, he tells her he's sorry, but he can't see her ever again, and runs away from her. Jess is just sitting there, and thinks that this is the second time in her life her heart's been really broken. And this time, it didn't have anything to do with small sips from a shared cup of vodka-laced punch.
In the meanwhile, Liz is explaining to Enid that she's been reading some self-help books to figure out where she went wrong in London. The one she's currently reading is called "Real Women, Bad Men." Even Enid thinks it's pretty lame, which is saying something, but she politely comments that at least it's helping her. Jess returns and tells them, in a fit of Victorian melodrama, that she just met the man she's supposed to marry, and now she's going to wind up an old maid. Liz and Enid giggle and tease her until she says that she feels the way she felt with Sam. Liz is stunned, and even Enid says that she's shocked that Jessica would say that, since she knew how much she adored Sam. The twins leave, with Liz vowing to use her new self-help mania to help Jessica.
On the drive home, Liz tries giving Jess some of her newly-aquired wisdom, but Jess isn't having any of it. Back at the house, Lila calls to rave about how awesome Robby is, since he's part of her "social strata." She knows this because he has a gold watch, a little Scottie dog, and a Lamborghini. Jess pumps her for information about her mystery hunk, and Lila tells her that Robby knows him from college, and they're staying together while mystery-man works for some nature organization. Lila promises that she'll try to get more information while on her date later in the evening.
Later that night, Alice Wakefield paid a visit to the Department of Plot Devices, and mentions to the girls that Sue Gibbons is coming to California to plan her wedding. Sue is the daughter of Alice's college roommate, who died recently. Everyone agrees that Alice should call her and ask her to stay with them.
A few days must have passed, because it's Friday and the Wakefields are picking up Sue from the airport. Liz notices how young she looks, and that's because Sue is only eighteen. Alice and Ned get her settled, and then take off to be as neglectful to their guest as they are to their children. Liz and Jess are excited to take Sue to all the fun places in Sweet Valley, and to help her plan the wedding as well. Sue is appreciative, and says that it's hard doing all of this without her mother.
For a few days, the twins take Sue to the Dairi Burger,Guido's, the Beach cafe, and Miller's Point. I can't imagine why they'd take Sue to Miller's Point, unless they took a page from Bruce's book and had a bottle of wine stashed in the back to ensure a makeout session. Before long, Sue is hanging out with the Sweet Valley crowd, and everyone is gushing over how romantic it is that she's getting married.
Sue explains that it was love at first sight, and that she met her fiancee at Project Nature, an organization they both work for. I find it hilarious that the ghostwriter is dropping all of these hints, when the fact that Jeremy is the bronze-mystery-man is spoiled on the back cover. The girls all talk about the wedding, and Lila suggests that Sue register at Bibi's. Jess points out that Bibi's sells mostly jewelry, and Sue makes some sort of comment that she can't wait to "make out like a bandit" by getting all sorts of presents and goodies from the guests. If you've read SVH at all, you can guess that Liz is horrified by her attitude, but surprisingly Jessica is as well.
The twins leave with Sue to go to the mall, while Jessica whispers to Liz that Sue might know her mystery-guy. Liz isn't optimistic, and starts quoting more passages of Real Women, Bad Men at her. Meanwhile, Sue loves the California mall and the fact that they can drive everywhere. Liz thinks to herself that Sue seems pretty immature, and that she probably isn't that devoted to Project Nature if she's thrilled about wasting gas all over the place. She's even more suspicious when Sue suggests a burger place for lunch that conservationists have been boycotting because of it's agricultural practices. They go to Bibi's and everyone decides to pick out engagement rings for fun.
Liz picks a pearl ring that's surrounded by little diamonds, while Jess goes for a large sapphire with triangular diamonds on either side. I'm pretty sure we're supposed to infer something about their personalities based on the choices, but I can't be bothered. Sue picks out an enormous diamond with a platinum band, and both twins privately think that it's gaudy. When they leave, Jessica whispers that it seems like Sue wants a huge wedding. She comments that she'd have a barefoot beach wedding at sunset, with a band and a huge party.
Sue must have realized that the girls were gossiping about her ring choice, and she mentions that she wished her mother had a ring that she could wear, but neither her father nor her step-father had given her one. That's all it takes for Liz to immediately feel guilty about judging Sue. Now that her halo is restored, she can go about being santctimonious and self-satisfied.
While all this jewelry shopping is going on, Lila and Robby are on a romantic picnic. Lila is thrilled that she's finally met a guy who understands her taste for the finer things in life, and she philosophizes with him that it's just as arrogant to "turn your nose up at caviar and champagne, as if beer and peanuts were just as good." I can just see that homespun phrase stitched on a pillow somewhere. He compliments her "wordly wisdom" and they make out for a while. Robby asks Lila if it would matter to her if he were poor, and she completely misses the huge hint and just says that point is that he isn't broke, and she thinks to herself that she's in love. Poor Lila. I do love the unintentional contrast between Lila and Elizabeth though. In the last couple of books, she's been: sexually assaulted, had a traumatic experience with her counselor, had her mother return after years of abandonment, dealt with the odious Pierre, and suffered the indignity of babysitting in the Caribbean. And yet, she still hasn't given up on the possibility of love.
It's the night of the big dinner with Sue and Jeremy, and Jessica isn't so thrilled with Lila's newfound bubbly happiness, and she whines to noone in particular that she prefers Lila "tormented and single." Liz comes in her bedroom, and nearly has a heartattack because the room is actually clean and organized. Apparently, Alice demanded that Jessica clean. Liz cracks a few jokes, and Sue comes in to get opinions on her outfit. When she leaves, Liz tells Jess that she's really proud of how supportive Jess is acting. They each get ready for the big dinner, and joke around that it'll be weird to meet Jeremy after all of Sue's gushing about him. They giggle and call him Jeremy the Wise, and Jeremy the Beneficent. I can think of some much better adjectives...he's a cad most definitely, a bounder for sure, and a bad hat as well. I'd even go so far as to call him a rotter.
Jessica moans a bit that even "loser-at-love" Lila has someone, and Liz is reminded of her own stupidity in London. She asks Jess if she's a "complete dope" with relationships. Jessica doesn't laugh right in her face, which is what I would have done, and tells her that she's sixteen and just made a mistake. Liz claims that it isn't just her, it's ALL women, and that her new book, Primal Woman, Woman of Strength is really helping her.
Finally, Jessica goes to answer the door and of course, it's her mysterious stranger. She thinks he's come to find her, until Sue screams and jumps all over him.
After introductions are made, Jessica runs off for the bathroom to be alone for a minute. She miserably thinks that Jeremy should be hers, and then she realizes how ridiculous she's being and tells herself to have some pride. Ah, the old Jessica is back! She'll be scheming in no time!
The dinner is awkward, as Sue prattles on and on about how wonderful everything is in Sweet Valley, and how nice it would be to live there. Jeremy suggests they use the natural beauty and have a small intimate wedding on the beach, and Liz laughs and tells everyone that Jessica's dream wedding was exactly the same idea. Sue simpers and says that it sounds perfect, and forgets all about her big enormous cathedral idea while Jeremy and Jessica trade tortured glances. After the meal, Sue suggests a romantic drive to the beach, and she and Jeremy leave.
Jessica tearfully tells Liz that Jeremy is her mystery-man, and they have a talk over some ice cream. Liz is worried that Jess will cause a huge scene, but Jessica doesn't seem interested. Also, Liz is appalled that Jeremy would be kissing girls on the beach while engaged, and she chalks it up to The Behavior of All Men. She quotes a bit more of her self-help book, saying that weak women are attracted to unavailable men, and Jessica snidely points out that Liz is just as guilty, since she made out with Bruce Patman while he was dating Pamela. Liz actually winces, and admits she needs to do more soul-searching. Really though, she needs to just stop cheating on Todd. I've noticed that Liz cheated on Todd in every book from #101 to #107, and then again when she went to camp, and later when she took up with Devon. If "cheating on Todd" were an Olympic sport, Liz would sweep every category and come home with more medals than Flo-Jo.
The next day, the twins are supposed to go to the mall with Jeremy so he can buy Sue's engagement ring. Jessica wakes up to find a note from Liz telling her that she's taken Sue for a thrilling afternoon at the bookstore, but they'll head to the mall at 12:30. Immediately, Jessica starts scheming. When Jeremy calls, she has him pick her up at 11:30.
In the car, Jessica asks Jeremy about how he met Sue, even though she already knows. While he's talking, she remembers a French proverb that her friend Rene told her, which translates to "in every relationship, there is the one who kisses, and the one who is kissed." Continuity points to the ghostwriter, since we just saw Rene in the London miniseries. Jess thinks to herself that Sue's the one doing the kissing in that relationship. They head for the jewelry store, and Jeremy tries to talk to Jessica about what happened at the beach, but she's in full-on schemer mode and tells him not to worry about it, because she didn't even bruise from the frisbee.
Jeremy tries to pick out Sue's ring without help, but of course he picks out Jessica's favorite ring instead. Surprisingly, Jessica is a good sport about it and directs him to the one Sue really liked. The salesgirl assumes it's for Jessica, and they leave after Jeremy makes his purchase. They run into Bruce briefly, and when Jeremy asks if they're supposed to meet Elizabeth, Jessica gets fed up and admits that she lied to him about what time they were meeting, and goes so far as to call herself pathetic.
Elizabeth is annoyed at Jessica's little plan, but she isn't surprised. Jess tells her the whole story, and Liz starts to feel bad and invites her to Enid's house for a female-empowerment self-help evening. I don't think I need to tell you Jessica's answer. Liz invites Sue as well, but she declines since she and Jeremy are going to dinner at the Carousel. Again, Liz feels bad for her sister, because she knows that's Jessica's favorite restaurant. As soon as she leaves, Jess starts frantically calling guys to try and get a date for the evening.
She tries Aaron first, then A.J., and even resorts to calling Winston. Unfortunately, she gets turned down with every phone call. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Finally, she calls Bruce and gives him some story about how her friend has a blind date and that she needs a date herself so she can check up on him. Bruce doesn't believe it for a minute, but Jessica convinces him to play along, since she helped get his parents back together. He agrees to take her on the condition that she buys dinner, and that he can tell Pamela the whole story so she won't be angry. While Jess is making her phone plans, Lila and Robby are relaxing in the sun at Fowler Crest, and also make plans to eat at the Carousel. Shenanigans will ensue!
Jessica decides to wear a very "un-Elizabeth-like" silk aquamarine dress that Elizabeth bought for Enid's Sweet 16. If it was anything like the get-together Enid's having at her house, I bet it was a real snooze. She gets herself ready, as Bruce pulls up in 1BRUCE1 and tosses his Ray-Bans on the seat. He starts to think that Jess is a "dizzy blonde" for coming up with such an "asinine plan" but he can't help being impressed when Jessica opens the door. He starts to remember that she used to look gorgeous for him all the time, but he quickly reminds himself that they have much more fun battling each other occasionally.
The restaurant scene is classic Sweet Valley, done in the style of a French farce. At the restaurant, Jessica is hamming it up, gazing into Bruce's eyes and raving about how luxurious the restaurant is. Bruce tells her to stop looking at him as though he's a fly, and she's a large-mouth bass. He remembers that Jessica is buying the meal, and orders the fliet mignon, along with oysters that were freshly flown in. They bicker, and Bruce tells her that her friend is watching, so they continue with the charade. In between hand-holding and cheek-caressing, they trade hilarious insults and eat their meal.
Lila enters the restaurant, and is shocked to see Jessica there with Bruce. She says hello, and is unable to resist telling Bruce that she'd have expected to see him there with Elizabeth, rather than Jessica. Robby joins them and is introduced, and they leave to go say hello to Sue and Jeremy. Bruce decides he wants dessert after stuffing himself, but Jessica is only half-paying attention to him. She sees Jeremy reaching into his pocket, and realizes that he's going to give her the ring. Quickly, she yanks Bruce to his feet and interrupts them so that he won't have the chance.
From the first introduction, it's clear that Jeremy and Bruce hate each other on sight. Jeremy goes off on some tangent about how Jessica's a fine person and doesn't deserve to be hurt, and Bruce tells him to mind his own business. During the conversation, Bruce finds out that they're engaged, which blows Jessica's blind-date lie right out of the water. However, he plays along and casts hateful glances at Jeremy while acting like a possessive boyfriend with Jessica. They leave, and Jessica is thrilled that she managed to make Jeremy hold off on giving Sue the ring, plus the added bonus of making him jealous. She giggles at the thought of Jeremy being jealous of Bruce, and when Bruce asks her about it, she feeds his ego by telling him that everyone's been feeling sorry for her because she doesn't have a boyfriend, so she wanted to show up with a handsome, rich guy. He buys it, and pulls up in front of Casa Wakefield. He jokes around, saying that "it's been real, and it's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun." Jessica calls him a "boy toy," and even though he was slightly offended he cracks up, telling her that she's never boring. Jess thanks him for the evening, and puts on his serious face and tells her that she looked beautiful. She gives him a quick kiss and runs into the house, thinking that she and "Ol' Patman" are two of a kind and that he really turned out to be a friend.
The next day at breakfast, Liz is talking about her evening of sisterhood, and they make plans for Sue and the twins to go shopping for a wedding dress at Lytton and Brown. Jessica suggests a couple of hideous dresses before Sue finds the perfect one. She tries it on, it looks great, and she decides to buy it. She asks the girls to be her bridesmaids, and Jess is forced to agree.
In the meantime, Robby is painting a portrait of Lila, and attempting to drop more hints that he isn't as wealthy as he seems to be. Lila insists that she wouldn't care if he were penniless, but that she's glad he isn't.
Back at Casa Wakefield, Todd calls Elizabeth to catch up. Liz raves about how truly connected she's been feeling to her fellow woman, and how she's been working out her problems with the girls. Todd is a little hurt that she won't fully confide in him. He mentions that if he had done the same thing with his guy friends without telling her, she'd call it sexist. She assures him she doesn't want to fight, and they make plans for Todd's return home, which will surely be heralded with a ceremonial pool push.
This book jumps around from day to day quite a bit, and the next scene is the following day, where Liz and Sue are scouting beaches for the wedding. They decide on Moon Beach, despite some of Sue's misgivings, and start planning the actual event. While they're making plans, Jessica gets a manicure and goes home for a swim. Mrs. Wakefield asks her to take Jeremy to the caterer, since it's in an out of the way spot. She jumps at the chance, and pretends to get lost as she leads Jeremy to Miller's Point first, and then all over Sweet Valley. He tries to talk to her, but she just gives up and leads him to the caterer.
Sue and Jeremy bicker at the caterer--Sue wants lobster and champagne, while Jeremy wants chicken because it's less expensive. He tells her she'd have to cut the guest list, and they wind up having a fight. Eventually, they compromise on champagne and chicken, and Elizabeth gushes over how true love means compromiing.
Afterwards, they go to the Dairi Burger and meet up with Lila and Robby. Elizabeth and Jessica are a bit embarrassed to be sitting at the table with two couples, and trade looks. Jessica thinks to herself that the "beautiful, popular Wakefield twins" were stuck as fifth wheels, and she isn't happy about it. While they're eating, Bruce comes in with Pamela, and Sue and Jeremy assume he's cheating on Jessica. Lila starts eating her napkin in an attempt not to laugh, and Jeremy furiously says that someone ought to teach Bruce a lesson. Jessica knocks him down a peg by telling him that he's hardly the one to teach him.
The following day, they shop for bridesmaid dresses, and Jessica is being as difficult as she possibly can. Liz finally convinces her to just agree on the dress, as Sue picks out her bridal undergarments. Jess realizes that since almost no one in Sweet Valley has sex before marriage, Jeremy was going to get a pretty good view of them on the wedding night, and as they're leaving, she throws Sue's dress in front of a huge, muddy truck! She does a pretty good job pretending it was an accident. I thought this was hysterical when I read the book as a kid, and even now 10-15 years later, it's still pretty damn funny.
Sue is sobbing over her dress as they head back to the house. Alice informs her that the dress isn't torn or anything, and that she knows of a special cleaner that will be able to repair it perfectly. She insists that Jessica pay for the cleaning, so naturally Jess is pretty down in the dumps. Liz isn't thrilled about all of the stunts Jessica has been pulling, but she does feel bad and offers Jessica her company for the evening. Jessica agrees, and winds up getting dragged to the Sweet Valley Community Center for a Primal Woman seminar.
The seminar is as cheesy and cliche as you would imagine...the women are sitting on the floor in a circle around a hibachi, wearing animal capes. The instructor has them each choose their own new name, since typically women carry their father's or husband's last name. Jessica is annoyed, and asks if she can just go by Jessica, like Madonna. The instructor gives up on her, as they move around the room. Elizabeth decides she's going to be Runs-With-The-Wind. I think a better name would be Meddles-In-Love-Lives. Or Friend-of-the-Lepers. They do a screaming exercise, and Elizabeth lets out a huge, long scream that impresses everyone in the room. Afterwards, Jessica teases her about it, calling her Hurricane-Lungs and claiming that she didn't do it because she was worried that there were guys watching somewhere.
The next morning, Sue prattles on about her registering for china and crystal with Jeremy. Jessica snidely remarks that she's going to have a hard time backpacking through South America with all that stuff, and Sue tells her that Jeremy thinks so too, and was being very difficult the entire time. Alice comforts Sue, telling her that he's behaving normally, which is just the sort of advice we've come to expect from Alice Wakefield. Jessica has plans to go pick up Sue's newly-cleaned dress, and rather than go on another wedding expedition, she decides to stay home and do laundry afterwards. Alice, Liz, and Sue leave, with Jessica's assurances that she'll direct Jeremy to the florist when he calls. You'd think they'd know better by now, especially when she offered to do laundry.
Jeremy does call, and Jessica informs him that he's to come to Casa Wakefield, instead of the florist. When he arrives, he mentions that he wanted to see how his tux would look with Sue's dress, and Jessica tells him to change, while she runs upstairs and puts the dress on, along with the headpiece. They stare at each other, and Jeremy tells her that she's a beautiful bride. Jessica tries kissing him, but he doesn't respond, and she's humiliated. She starts to cry, apologizing for embarrassing him. He consoles her, and then proceeds to tell her that she was right, he is in love with her.
Jeremy gives her a whole song and dance about how he agreed to marry Sue, but he really likes her as a brother. He claims that he can't go back on his promise to marry her, and Jessica tries her best to convince him that if they love each other, it's wrong for him to stay with Sue. He doesn't agree (yet) and though he swears he loves her, he just can't betray Sue. Finally Jessica is forced to admit that she lied, and that everyone is waiting for him at the florist. He laughs and leaves.
Jessica is busy cursing her stupidity when she realizes the zipper of the dress is stuck. She frantically tries to get it off, but to no avail. Apparently, the dress is smaller than a perfect size six. Elizabeth comes home and freaks out when she sees Jessica in the dress, but helps her to get out of it, causing a small tear in the process. She remarks that Jessica looked like a stuffed sausage, but agrees to mend the dress.
Liz starts spouting some pearls of wisdom from her Real Women book, and Jessica is so fed up that she grabs the book and flings it down the stairs. Where it whacks Sue on the head. Elizabeth runs to make sure Sue is okay, while Jessica laughs herself silly into her pillow.
Alice and Ned have decided to throw Jeremy and Sue an engagement party, despite the fact neither Jeremy nor Sue have any friends or family in the area. Basically, the party will be the SVH crew and the happy couple. Enid agrees to help with the decorations, and asks how Jessica is handling the whole Jeremy debacle. Liz is adamant that if she could just get Jessica to embrace her womanhood, she'd have far less problems. I'm sure this is just what women like Susan B. Anthony, Gloria Steinem, and the Suffragettes had in mind. She decides to print out some of the articles that Jeremy and Sue have co-authored together about the rainforests to show Jessica that they really do have a life outside of Sweet Valley.
In the midst of all this plotting, Lila has invited Jessica over to cry on her shoulder. It seems Robby is a liar, and not only is he not rich, but he's completely and utterly poor. He'd been housesitting for a wealthy friend, which explains the Lamborghini and other wealthy trappings. Lila wails that even the little dog wasn't his. Jessica actually shows some sense and points out that Lila wouldn't be half as upset if she'd found out Robby had lied about being an artist. She's hung up on the money, and Jessica advises her not to give up on love.
Back at home, Liz shows Jessica the articles she printed out. She gives Jess some sisterly advice on the practicalities of the situation, how even if she managed to break up Jeremy and Sue, there were still very big obstacles that likely wouldn't be overcome. Jessica cries again, and this must be something of a record.
On the day of the engagement party, Enid's helping the twins and Sue set up. There's some blabbering about how much fun everything will be, and Liz suggests Jessica get a new outfit to cheer herself up. She does, and soon the party is underway. Jessica went all-out to primp herself for the night, and gets quite a few compliments. Bruce asks her to dance, while Pamela's busy dancing with Winston. Bruce sure has lightened up lately if he isn't annoyed that his lady's cutting a rug with the guy who drives an orange VW bug.
Even though Jessica is busily plotting Sue's upcoming heartbreak, she manages to get Lila and Robby back together. Afterwards, she hears a song she loves, and Sue suggests she dance with Jeremy, since he likes it too. She does, and Jeremy compliments her dress, and asks her if she minds that Bruce is dancing with Pamela. She tells him the whole story of how she bribed him into dinner, and then leads him behind the hedges. They make out, while everyone starts looking for Jeremy because Alice is making a toast. The book ends here, to be picked up in Left At the Altar, which someone has already brilliantly recapped.
The cover is pretty accurate, as far as Jessica and Jeremy go. Liz's dress is completely wrong, but her Peeping Tom antics are right on the money, and it isn't as ridiculous as some of the covers we've seen. And now, onto the recap!
We start off with another day at the beach in Sweet Valley. The twins have just returned from their trip to London, and have decided to catch some rays with Lila and Enid. Jessica asks Lila for some sunscreen, and everyone is shocked that Jessica would want her tan to suffer for even a moment. She explains that everyone in England had pale skin, and that she's trying to cultivate a European pallor. Is it too much to hope that Daniella Fromage is making a comeback to Sweet Valley?
Enid really has a knack for nutshelling complex and ridiculous plots, and asks the twins, " I know you guys got all mixed up with that psycho who thought he was a werewolf--but did you manage to have any fun at all?" Elizabeth mentally notes that she hasn't had a chance to tell Enid the whole story, but really, it seems like Enid's got a handle on the finer points, there. Liz admits to herself that she's really embarrassed and confused by what went on in London, and tells everyone that she's glad Todd is off visiting his grandmother for two weeks, as it will give her time to get her head together. Todd's really a bundle of fun, isn't he? Between whale watching, dates at the laundromat, and his heavy schedule of toddpunching, I'm surprised he manages to carve out the time to dribble a basketball.
Jessica has obviously reached her threshold of hanging-out-with-Enid time, and she asks Lila to go for a jog along the beach with her. Naturally, Lila is horrified at the suggestion, and tells Jess she'd much rather take a nap. After a bit more prodding, Lila gets the message that Jess really wants to get away from Enid and Liz, and the two go off running down the beach.
Liz tells Enid that she no longer trusts her instincts when it comes to guys, because got completely carried away with Luke, and she never picked up on any of his "tortured feelings." Forget about the tortured feelings, the guy was ripping people's throats out and writing sonnets about his double life. I'm pretty sure even Mr. Collins could've doped that one out. Even Angela Lansbury would've smelled a rat. She admits that she thought he was meant for her ("in a different way than Todd") because he was a poet, and that she can't believe she made such a big mistake. Enid gives Liz all the concerned looks and sympathetic glances she could hope for, and tells her that she can at least trust Todd. Liz hasn't quite gotten over her flair for drama though, and ominously says that she can't even trust herself at this point. Which is an excellent point, since the next time a psychopath comes to town he pretends to be a poet, and Liz falls for the same scam all over again.
Meanwhile, Lila and Jess are still jogging down the beach, until Lila finally puts her foot down and claims that they're far enough away. Jessica explains to Lila that Liz really got in over her head in London, and that ever since they've been back, Liz has been moping around and thinking that there must be something wrong with her. Lila agrees, and says that there definitely is something wrong with Liz--she's been dating Todd for far too long. Hee! She calls him a drip, and then turns her attention to buffing her feet in the sand. As usual, Lila's honed in on the point perfectly.
Jess fills Lila in on her fling with Lord Robert, explaining that they both knew it was a temporary romance. But now that she's back in Sweet Valley, she thinks she's finally ready to move on from Sam's untimely magical-vodka demise. Lila tells her that she's been brave and strong, and that if she's ready to meet someone new, she ought to make sure there's an eligible friend or brother for Lila as well. Lila, of course, has her priorities straight.
Even though Jess and Lila might occasionally bicker about some things, it's clear these two have a really great friendship. Whenever it's just the two of them, they can be really sweet to each other.
Jess suggests they go for a run up to the point, and takes off while Lila is still protesting the idea. A frisbee whacks her on the head in mid-jog, and Lila quickly runs over to examine Jess' head. She makes sure there isn't any blood, and calls whoever threw it a jerk. But since it's Sweet Valley, the perpetrator is a "bronzed Greek god in black swim trunks." Both Jess and Lila are gobsmacked at how gorgeous he is, as he comes over to apologize. While the bronze god helps Jessica to her feet, his equally gorgeous friend Robby introduces himself to Lila, and the two go off for sodas.
Jessica introduces herself, but bronzey doesn't give his name (as we all know by now, it's Jeremy.) They don't even have a conversation, they just gaze longingly at each other and throw out occasional sentence fragments. He says he never expected to meet her now, and Jessica says it feels like fate. He kisses her, and Jessica realizes that she hasn't had feelings like this since Sam, and that for the first time, this "stranger's kiss had healed the pain." After the kiss, he tells her he's sorry, but he can't see her ever again, and runs away from her. Jess is just sitting there, and thinks that this is the second time in her life her heart's been really broken. And this time, it didn't have anything to do with small sips from a shared cup of vodka-laced punch.
In the meanwhile, Liz is explaining to Enid that she's been reading some self-help books to figure out where she went wrong in London. The one she's currently reading is called "Real Women, Bad Men." Even Enid thinks it's pretty lame, which is saying something, but she politely comments that at least it's helping her. Jess returns and tells them, in a fit of Victorian melodrama, that she just met the man she's supposed to marry, and now she's going to wind up an old maid. Liz and Enid giggle and tease her until she says that she feels the way she felt with Sam. Liz is stunned, and even Enid says that she's shocked that Jessica would say that, since she knew how much she adored Sam. The twins leave, with Liz vowing to use her new self-help mania to help Jessica.
On the drive home, Liz tries giving Jess some of her newly-aquired wisdom, but Jess isn't having any of it. Back at the house, Lila calls to rave about how awesome Robby is, since he's part of her "social strata." She knows this because he has a gold watch, a little Scottie dog, and a Lamborghini. Jess pumps her for information about her mystery hunk, and Lila tells her that Robby knows him from college, and they're staying together while mystery-man works for some nature organization. Lila promises that she'll try to get more information while on her date later in the evening.
Later that night, Alice Wakefield paid a visit to the Department of Plot Devices, and mentions to the girls that Sue Gibbons is coming to California to plan her wedding. Sue is the daughter of Alice's college roommate, who died recently. Everyone agrees that Alice should call her and ask her to stay with them.
A few days must have passed, because it's Friday and the Wakefields are picking up Sue from the airport. Liz notices how young she looks, and that's because Sue is only eighteen. Alice and Ned get her settled, and then take off to be as neglectful to their guest as they are to their children. Liz and Jess are excited to take Sue to all the fun places in Sweet Valley, and to help her plan the wedding as well. Sue is appreciative, and says that it's hard doing all of this without her mother.
For a few days, the twins take Sue to the Dairi Burger,Guido's, the Beach cafe, and Miller's Point. I can't imagine why they'd take Sue to Miller's Point, unless they took a page from Bruce's book and had a bottle of wine stashed in the back to ensure a makeout session. Before long, Sue is hanging out with the Sweet Valley crowd, and everyone is gushing over how romantic it is that she's getting married.
Sue explains that it was love at first sight, and that she met her fiancee at Project Nature, an organization they both work for. I find it hilarious that the ghostwriter is dropping all of these hints, when the fact that Jeremy is the bronze-mystery-man is spoiled on the back cover. The girls all talk about the wedding, and Lila suggests that Sue register at Bibi's. Jess points out that Bibi's sells mostly jewelry, and Sue makes some sort of comment that she can't wait to "make out like a bandit" by getting all sorts of presents and goodies from the guests. If you've read SVH at all, you can guess that Liz is horrified by her attitude, but surprisingly Jessica is as well.
The twins leave with Sue to go to the mall, while Jessica whispers to Liz that Sue might know her mystery-guy. Liz isn't optimistic, and starts quoting more passages of Real Women, Bad Men at her. Meanwhile, Sue loves the California mall and the fact that they can drive everywhere. Liz thinks to herself that Sue seems pretty immature, and that she probably isn't that devoted to Project Nature if she's thrilled about wasting gas all over the place. She's even more suspicious when Sue suggests a burger place for lunch that conservationists have been boycotting because of it's agricultural practices. They go to Bibi's and everyone decides to pick out engagement rings for fun.
Liz picks a pearl ring that's surrounded by little diamonds, while Jess goes for a large sapphire with triangular diamonds on either side. I'm pretty sure we're supposed to infer something about their personalities based on the choices, but I can't be bothered. Sue picks out an enormous diamond with a platinum band, and both twins privately think that it's gaudy. When they leave, Jessica whispers that it seems like Sue wants a huge wedding. She comments that she'd have a barefoot beach wedding at sunset, with a band and a huge party.
Sue must have realized that the girls were gossiping about her ring choice, and she mentions that she wished her mother had a ring that she could wear, but neither her father nor her step-father had given her one. That's all it takes for Liz to immediately feel guilty about judging Sue. Now that her halo is restored, she can go about being santctimonious and self-satisfied.
While all this jewelry shopping is going on, Lila and Robby are on a romantic picnic. Lila is thrilled that she's finally met a guy who understands her taste for the finer things in life, and she philosophizes with him that it's just as arrogant to "turn your nose up at caviar and champagne, as if beer and peanuts were just as good." I can just see that homespun phrase stitched on a pillow somewhere. He compliments her "wordly wisdom" and they make out for a while. Robby asks Lila if it would matter to her if he were poor, and she completely misses the huge hint and just says that point is that he isn't broke, and she thinks to herself that she's in love. Poor Lila. I do love the unintentional contrast between Lila and Elizabeth though. In the last couple of books, she's been: sexually assaulted, had a traumatic experience with her counselor, had her mother return after years of abandonment, dealt with the odious Pierre, and suffered the indignity of babysitting in the Caribbean. And yet, she still hasn't given up on the possibility of love.
It's the night of the big dinner with Sue and Jeremy, and Jessica isn't so thrilled with Lila's newfound bubbly happiness, and she whines to noone in particular that she prefers Lila "tormented and single." Liz comes in her bedroom, and nearly has a heartattack because the room is actually clean and organized. Apparently, Alice demanded that Jessica clean. Liz cracks a few jokes, and Sue comes in to get opinions on her outfit. When she leaves, Liz tells Jess that she's really proud of how supportive Jess is acting. They each get ready for the big dinner, and joke around that it'll be weird to meet Jeremy after all of Sue's gushing about him. They giggle and call him Jeremy the Wise, and Jeremy the Beneficent. I can think of some much better adjectives...he's a cad most definitely, a bounder for sure, and a bad hat as well. I'd even go so far as to call him a rotter.
Jessica moans a bit that even "loser-at-love" Lila has someone, and Liz is reminded of her own stupidity in London. She asks Jess if she's a "complete dope" with relationships. Jessica doesn't laugh right in her face, which is what I would have done, and tells her that she's sixteen and just made a mistake. Liz claims that it isn't just her, it's ALL women, and that her new book, Primal Woman, Woman of Strength is really helping her.
Finally, Jessica goes to answer the door and of course, it's her mysterious stranger. She thinks he's come to find her, until Sue screams and jumps all over him.
After introductions are made, Jessica runs off for the bathroom to be alone for a minute. She miserably thinks that Jeremy should be hers, and then she realizes how ridiculous she's being and tells herself to have some pride. Ah, the old Jessica is back! She'll be scheming in no time!
The dinner is awkward, as Sue prattles on and on about how wonderful everything is in Sweet Valley, and how nice it would be to live there. Jeremy suggests they use the natural beauty and have a small intimate wedding on the beach, and Liz laughs and tells everyone that Jessica's dream wedding was exactly the same idea. Sue simpers and says that it sounds perfect, and forgets all about her big enormous cathedral idea while Jeremy and Jessica trade tortured glances. After the meal, Sue suggests a romantic drive to the beach, and she and Jeremy leave.
Jessica tearfully tells Liz that Jeremy is her mystery-man, and they have a talk over some ice cream. Liz is worried that Jess will cause a huge scene, but Jessica doesn't seem interested. Also, Liz is appalled that Jeremy would be kissing girls on the beach while engaged, and she chalks it up to The Behavior of All Men. She quotes a bit more of her self-help book, saying that weak women are attracted to unavailable men, and Jessica snidely points out that Liz is just as guilty, since she made out with Bruce Patman while he was dating Pamela. Liz actually winces, and admits she needs to do more soul-searching. Really though, she needs to just stop cheating on Todd. I've noticed that Liz cheated on Todd in every book from #101 to #107, and then again when she went to camp, and later when she took up with Devon. If "cheating on Todd" were an Olympic sport, Liz would sweep every category and come home with more medals than Flo-Jo.
The next day, the twins are supposed to go to the mall with Jeremy so he can buy Sue's engagement ring. Jessica wakes up to find a note from Liz telling her that she's taken Sue for a thrilling afternoon at the bookstore, but they'll head to the mall at 12:30. Immediately, Jessica starts scheming. When Jeremy calls, she has him pick her up at 11:30.
In the car, Jessica asks Jeremy about how he met Sue, even though she already knows. While he's talking, she remembers a French proverb that her friend Rene told her, which translates to "in every relationship, there is the one who kisses, and the one who is kissed." Continuity points to the ghostwriter, since we just saw Rene in the London miniseries. Jess thinks to herself that Sue's the one doing the kissing in that relationship. They head for the jewelry store, and Jeremy tries to talk to Jessica about what happened at the beach, but she's in full-on schemer mode and tells him not to worry about it, because she didn't even bruise from the frisbee.
Jeremy tries to pick out Sue's ring without help, but of course he picks out Jessica's favorite ring instead. Surprisingly, Jessica is a good sport about it and directs him to the one Sue really liked. The salesgirl assumes it's for Jessica, and they leave after Jeremy makes his purchase. They run into Bruce briefly, and when Jeremy asks if they're supposed to meet Elizabeth, Jessica gets fed up and admits that she lied to him about what time they were meeting, and goes so far as to call herself pathetic.
Elizabeth is annoyed at Jessica's little plan, but she isn't surprised. Jess tells her the whole story, and Liz starts to feel bad and invites her to Enid's house for a female-empowerment self-help evening. I don't think I need to tell you Jessica's answer. Liz invites Sue as well, but she declines since she and Jeremy are going to dinner at the Carousel. Again, Liz feels bad for her sister, because she knows that's Jessica's favorite restaurant. As soon as she leaves, Jess starts frantically calling guys to try and get a date for the evening.
She tries Aaron first, then A.J., and even resorts to calling Winston. Unfortunately, she gets turned down with every phone call. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Finally, she calls Bruce and gives him some story about how her friend has a blind date and that she needs a date herself so she can check up on him. Bruce doesn't believe it for a minute, but Jessica convinces him to play along, since she helped get his parents back together. He agrees to take her on the condition that she buys dinner, and that he can tell Pamela the whole story so she won't be angry. While Jess is making her phone plans, Lila and Robby are relaxing in the sun at Fowler Crest, and also make plans to eat at the Carousel. Shenanigans will ensue!
Jessica decides to wear a very "un-Elizabeth-like" silk aquamarine dress that Elizabeth bought for Enid's Sweet 16. If it was anything like the get-together Enid's having at her house, I bet it was a real snooze. She gets herself ready, as Bruce pulls up in 1BRUCE1 and tosses his Ray-Bans on the seat. He starts to think that Jess is a "dizzy blonde" for coming up with such an "asinine plan" but he can't help being impressed when Jessica opens the door. He starts to remember that she used to look gorgeous for him all the time, but he quickly reminds himself that they have much more fun battling each other occasionally.
The restaurant scene is classic Sweet Valley, done in the style of a French farce. At the restaurant, Jessica is hamming it up, gazing into Bruce's eyes and raving about how luxurious the restaurant is. Bruce tells her to stop looking at him as though he's a fly, and she's a large-mouth bass. He remembers that Jessica is buying the meal, and orders the fliet mignon, along with oysters that were freshly flown in. They bicker, and Bruce tells her that her friend is watching, so they continue with the charade. In between hand-holding and cheek-caressing, they trade hilarious insults and eat their meal.
Lila enters the restaurant, and is shocked to see Jessica there with Bruce. She says hello, and is unable to resist telling Bruce that she'd have expected to see him there with Elizabeth, rather than Jessica. Robby joins them and is introduced, and they leave to go say hello to Sue and Jeremy. Bruce decides he wants dessert after stuffing himself, but Jessica is only half-paying attention to him. She sees Jeremy reaching into his pocket, and realizes that he's going to give her the ring. Quickly, she yanks Bruce to his feet and interrupts them so that he won't have the chance.
From the first introduction, it's clear that Jeremy and Bruce hate each other on sight. Jeremy goes off on some tangent about how Jessica's a fine person and doesn't deserve to be hurt, and Bruce tells him to mind his own business. During the conversation, Bruce finds out that they're engaged, which blows Jessica's blind-date lie right out of the water. However, he plays along and casts hateful glances at Jeremy while acting like a possessive boyfriend with Jessica. They leave, and Jessica is thrilled that she managed to make Jeremy hold off on giving Sue the ring, plus the added bonus of making him jealous. She giggles at the thought of Jeremy being jealous of Bruce, and when Bruce asks her about it, she feeds his ego by telling him that everyone's been feeling sorry for her because she doesn't have a boyfriend, so she wanted to show up with a handsome, rich guy. He buys it, and pulls up in front of Casa Wakefield. He jokes around, saying that "it's been real, and it's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun." Jessica calls him a "boy toy," and even though he was slightly offended he cracks up, telling her that she's never boring. Jess thanks him for the evening, and puts on his serious face and tells her that she looked beautiful. She gives him a quick kiss and runs into the house, thinking that she and "Ol' Patman" are two of a kind and that he really turned out to be a friend.
The next day at breakfast, Liz is talking about her evening of sisterhood, and they make plans for Sue and the twins to go shopping for a wedding dress at Lytton and Brown. Jessica suggests a couple of hideous dresses before Sue finds the perfect one. She tries it on, it looks great, and she decides to buy it. She asks the girls to be her bridesmaids, and Jess is forced to agree.
In the meantime, Robby is painting a portrait of Lila, and attempting to drop more hints that he isn't as wealthy as he seems to be. Lila insists that she wouldn't care if he were penniless, but that she's glad he isn't.
Back at Casa Wakefield, Todd calls Elizabeth to catch up. Liz raves about how truly connected she's been feeling to her fellow woman, and how she's been working out her problems with the girls. Todd is a little hurt that she won't fully confide in him. He mentions that if he had done the same thing with his guy friends without telling her, she'd call it sexist. She assures him she doesn't want to fight, and they make plans for Todd's return home, which will surely be heralded with a ceremonial pool push.
This book jumps around from day to day quite a bit, and the next scene is the following day, where Liz and Sue are scouting beaches for the wedding. They decide on Moon Beach, despite some of Sue's misgivings, and start planning the actual event. While they're making plans, Jessica gets a manicure and goes home for a swim. Mrs. Wakefield asks her to take Jeremy to the caterer, since it's in an out of the way spot. She jumps at the chance, and pretends to get lost as she leads Jeremy to Miller's Point first, and then all over Sweet Valley. He tries to talk to her, but she just gives up and leads him to the caterer.
Sue and Jeremy bicker at the caterer--Sue wants lobster and champagne, while Jeremy wants chicken because it's less expensive. He tells her she'd have to cut the guest list, and they wind up having a fight. Eventually, they compromise on champagne and chicken, and Elizabeth gushes over how true love means compromiing.
Afterwards, they go to the Dairi Burger and meet up with Lila and Robby. Elizabeth and Jessica are a bit embarrassed to be sitting at the table with two couples, and trade looks. Jessica thinks to herself that the "beautiful, popular Wakefield twins" were stuck as fifth wheels, and she isn't happy about it. While they're eating, Bruce comes in with Pamela, and Sue and Jeremy assume he's cheating on Jessica. Lila starts eating her napkin in an attempt not to laugh, and Jeremy furiously says that someone ought to teach Bruce a lesson. Jessica knocks him down a peg by telling him that he's hardly the one to teach him.
The following day, they shop for bridesmaid dresses, and Jessica is being as difficult as she possibly can. Liz finally convinces her to just agree on the dress, as Sue picks out her bridal undergarments. Jess realizes that since almost no one in Sweet Valley has sex before marriage, Jeremy was going to get a pretty good view of them on the wedding night, and as they're leaving, she throws Sue's dress in front of a huge, muddy truck! She does a pretty good job pretending it was an accident. I thought this was hysterical when I read the book as a kid, and even now 10-15 years later, it's still pretty damn funny.
Sue is sobbing over her dress as they head back to the house. Alice informs her that the dress isn't torn or anything, and that she knows of a special cleaner that will be able to repair it perfectly. She insists that Jessica pay for the cleaning, so naturally Jess is pretty down in the dumps. Liz isn't thrilled about all of the stunts Jessica has been pulling, but she does feel bad and offers Jessica her company for the evening. Jessica agrees, and winds up getting dragged to the Sweet Valley Community Center for a Primal Woman seminar.
The seminar is as cheesy and cliche as you would imagine...the women are sitting on the floor in a circle around a hibachi, wearing animal capes. The instructor has them each choose their own new name, since typically women carry their father's or husband's last name. Jessica is annoyed, and asks if she can just go by Jessica, like Madonna. The instructor gives up on her, as they move around the room. Elizabeth decides she's going to be Runs-With-The-Wind. I think a better name would be Meddles-In-Love-Lives. Or Friend-of-the-Lepers. They do a screaming exercise, and Elizabeth lets out a huge, long scream that impresses everyone in the room. Afterwards, Jessica teases her about it, calling her Hurricane-Lungs and claiming that she didn't do it because she was worried that there were guys watching somewhere.
The next morning, Sue prattles on about her registering for china and crystal with Jeremy. Jessica snidely remarks that she's going to have a hard time backpacking through South America with all that stuff, and Sue tells her that Jeremy thinks so too, and was being very difficult the entire time. Alice comforts Sue, telling her that he's behaving normally, which is just the sort of advice we've come to expect from Alice Wakefield. Jessica has plans to go pick up Sue's newly-cleaned dress, and rather than go on another wedding expedition, she decides to stay home and do laundry afterwards. Alice, Liz, and Sue leave, with Jessica's assurances that she'll direct Jeremy to the florist when he calls. You'd think they'd know better by now, especially when she offered to do laundry.
Jeremy does call, and Jessica informs him that he's to come to Casa Wakefield, instead of the florist. When he arrives, he mentions that he wanted to see how his tux would look with Sue's dress, and Jessica tells him to change, while she runs upstairs and puts the dress on, along with the headpiece. They stare at each other, and Jeremy tells her that she's a beautiful bride. Jessica tries kissing him, but he doesn't respond, and she's humiliated. She starts to cry, apologizing for embarrassing him. He consoles her, and then proceeds to tell her that she was right, he is in love with her.
Jeremy gives her a whole song and dance about how he agreed to marry Sue, but he really likes her as a brother. He claims that he can't go back on his promise to marry her, and Jessica tries her best to convince him that if they love each other, it's wrong for him to stay with Sue. He doesn't agree (yet) and though he swears he loves her, he just can't betray Sue. Finally Jessica is forced to admit that she lied, and that everyone is waiting for him at the florist. He laughs and leaves.
Jessica is busy cursing her stupidity when she realizes the zipper of the dress is stuck. She frantically tries to get it off, but to no avail. Apparently, the dress is smaller than a perfect size six. Elizabeth comes home and freaks out when she sees Jessica in the dress, but helps her to get out of it, causing a small tear in the process. She remarks that Jessica looked like a stuffed sausage, but agrees to mend the dress.
Liz starts spouting some pearls of wisdom from her Real Women book, and Jessica is so fed up that she grabs the book and flings it down the stairs. Where it whacks Sue on the head. Elizabeth runs to make sure Sue is okay, while Jessica laughs herself silly into her pillow.
Alice and Ned have decided to throw Jeremy and Sue an engagement party, despite the fact neither Jeremy nor Sue have any friends or family in the area. Basically, the party will be the SVH crew and the happy couple. Enid agrees to help with the decorations, and asks how Jessica is handling the whole Jeremy debacle. Liz is adamant that if she could just get Jessica to embrace her womanhood, she'd have far less problems. I'm sure this is just what women like Susan B. Anthony, Gloria Steinem, and the Suffragettes had in mind. She decides to print out some of the articles that Jeremy and Sue have co-authored together about the rainforests to show Jessica that they really do have a life outside of Sweet Valley.
In the midst of all this plotting, Lila has invited Jessica over to cry on her shoulder. It seems Robby is a liar, and not only is he not rich, but he's completely and utterly poor. He'd been housesitting for a wealthy friend, which explains the Lamborghini and other wealthy trappings. Lila wails that even the little dog wasn't his. Jessica actually shows some sense and points out that Lila wouldn't be half as upset if she'd found out Robby had lied about being an artist. She's hung up on the money, and Jessica advises her not to give up on love.
Back at home, Liz shows Jessica the articles she printed out. She gives Jess some sisterly advice on the practicalities of the situation, how even if she managed to break up Jeremy and Sue, there were still very big obstacles that likely wouldn't be overcome. Jessica cries again, and this must be something of a record.
On the day of the engagement party, Enid's helping the twins and Sue set up. There's some blabbering about how much fun everything will be, and Liz suggests Jessica get a new outfit to cheer herself up. She does, and soon the party is underway. Jessica went all-out to primp herself for the night, and gets quite a few compliments. Bruce asks her to dance, while Pamela's busy dancing with Winston. Bruce sure has lightened up lately if he isn't annoyed that his lady's cutting a rug with the guy who drives an orange VW bug.
Even though Jessica is busily plotting Sue's upcoming heartbreak, she manages to get Lila and Robby back together. Afterwards, she hears a song she loves, and Sue suggests she dance with Jeremy, since he likes it too. She does, and Jeremy compliments her dress, and asks her if she minds that Bruce is dancing with Pamela. She tells him the whole story of how she bribed him into dinner, and then leads him behind the hedges. They make out, while everyone starts looking for Jeremy because Alice is making a toast. The book ends here, to be picked up in Left At the Altar, which someone has already brilliantly recapped.