(no subject)
Title: I said 'I Love you '.. But I lied
Author: 123cariad
Pairing: Luke & Noah
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,366 One Shot
Disclaimer: ATWT characters are owned by Telenext; no copyright infringement intended.
Warnings: None ..
Summary: Noah is in a reflective mood .. Noah's P.O.V
Prompter: Valenti1965 'I Love You, But ...'
A/N:This is my first attempt at the What did you do ? prompt meme challenge I hope you all enjoy the story , fingers crossed I have done both the prompt and the community justice ..
I tag seajellybaby with the Prompt ' This end up '
I said 'I Love You'... But I lied
I never really experienced love in my early life … looking back on my younger years my life was just an existence. It existed of me and the Colonel. Colonel Winston Mayer my Dad was army through and through , if you’d cut through a vain gun powder would have spilled out.
Our house was never really a home don’t get me wrong I was always supplied with the basics hot food , a bed , clothes on my back , but it lacked that one special component that made a house a home . Love ….
The Colonel ran our house like a boot camp .We always lived on base, following base rules by the time I was five I could give the best recruits a run for their money.
The Colonel was a hard task master, If I didn’t pass muster every morning my life wouldn’t be worth living . I would go all day wondering and worrying about my punishment, failure was not an option . He could never see me cry. I would never let him see me cry, emotions were for girls. He would never get tired of reminding me …
'Men do not cry, Noah!'
'Suck it up recruit'
'I didn’t raise no girl Noah! be a man' this was part of my life , day in , day out, year after year these were the rules we lived by.
To say I grew up with emotional issues was an understatement, showing any kind of weakness in front of the Colonel was a definite no. I became emotionally challenged, that was the ‘IN’ word for someone like me. Yeah that's the right word emotionally challenged ,someone who couldn’t give themselves over emotionally to anyone.
~~
That was , until he walked into my life. The five foot something fire cracker all blond hair and dimples with a smile to die for, he forced his way in and turned it upside down , inside out.
Luke Snyder is his name , he entered my life at a point where I couldn’t see straight. My life had come to a cross roads, a turning point of sorts . I could move forward and be the man I wanted to be or I could stay right where I was and be the person the Colonel had forced upon me .
Luke didn’t really give me an option ,from the moment he called me out for turning up late on my first day as an intern at WOAK my whole life began to change . Luke took me kicking and screaming into my new life and for that I will always be truly grateful .
It wasn’t easy . I never made it easy for either of us, Luke especially found it hard.He would be the first to admit that he is not the most patient of people ,he was there for me completely . He was my rock , even though I was to messed up at the time to realize or appreciate him .
They say persistence pays off, well in Luke’s case it sure did, he was like a dog with a bone he knew me better than I knew myself, I just wasn’t ready to admit to anyone especially myself who the real me was. But Luke knew.
The friendship we formed in those early days is the foundation stone of our relationship today he quickly became my best friend and like any foundation I would simply crumble without him.
The first time we kissed... Wow !! was all I could think, there was nothing, and I mean nothing to compare it to in this whole wide world , an out of body experience is the only possible way of explaining it .
I’d kissed girls before , that was kinda of ok . I didn’t blow my mind or anything , but the moment my lips made contact with Luke’s that was it I was done for. I was completely and utterly lost to him and only him.
We can laugh about it now, but at the time I was so confused. I was sending out so many mixed signals it’s a wonder he stayed around long enough for us to get it together . There were a few close calls,when I really thought he had given up ,but God I’m so thankful he took a chance on me .. Hell ! he took a chance on us and to this day I have never take his love for granted.
The Colonel really did a number on me. I remember the first time Luke told me he loved me, he was so calm, so sure about his feelings. I was so jealous of him, jealous with the fact that he had the ability to show so much love not just to me but to everyone around him, he just amazed me.
That Christmas, our first Christmas as boyfriends is one of my most cherished memories. It had been a tough few months, between Luke being in hospital , having to learn to walk again, the added pressure of me knowing it was my fault , well the Colonel's fault really but if I hadn’t been around Luke would have been safe.
Luke tells me to this day that I was not to blame , but even after all these years I still get that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing it could have been so different for him , if I had just simply walked away.
~~~
Mistletoe has become our Christmas tradition, if we had to choose between a Christmas tree and a small sprig of mistletoe the mistletoe would win hands down, see that’s where we were standing when he told me he loved me for the very first time,in his Grandma’s Emma’s kitchen at the Snyder family farm under a small sprig of Mistletoe.
He looked so beautiful that night , his eyes shone so brightly, so full of wonder, so full of hope. The courage it must have taken him to say those few words , those few simple words that changed my life for ever .
'I Love You Noah . I’m so in love with you ' it was said with so much feeling , so much emotion, he gave everything to me in that one sentence , and what do you think I said in return . You’d think I would have replied to him by professing my undying love . No , I said 'Same here' can you believe it I was such a dork , how he kept a straight face I'll never know .
But he did. He just looked with such understanding it just made me melt inside. This man , this proud confident man loved me , the emotional basket case. Someone who was to afraid to open himself up , afraid of being rejected , afraid of being judge, simply afraid of being me .
That was so long ago now, and we been through so much together our lives have played out like one of those afternoon soap operas, where the main characters are subject to a whole wealth of experiences. You know the ones where they are put through an emotional rollercoaster fighting to the bitter end to keep themselves together, but yet they are torn apart.
The one big difference for us is that we got our happy ending . I finally found the courage to break through that emotional wall I'd been hiding behind . He was so patient , he never pushed, he never stopped telling me he loved me . Every single day I knew without doubt that I was and still am the love of his life .
I eventually told him 'I love you'... But I lied.... Love is not a strong enough word for what Luke means to me . He is the air that I breath , he is the fuel to that flame that burns so intently deep down inside , he is my soul mate ,he is my lover , he is my partner for life , he is my everything .
He is purely and simply my happy ending.....
Author: 123cariad
Pairing: Luke & Noah
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,366 One Shot
Disclaimer: ATWT characters are owned by Telenext; no copyright infringement intended.
Warnings: None ..
Summary: Noah is in a reflective mood .. Noah's P.O.V
Prompter: Valenti1965 'I Love You, But ...'
A/N:This is my first attempt at the What did you do ? prompt meme challenge I hope you all enjoy the story , fingers crossed I have done both the prompt and the community justice ..
I tag seajellybaby with the Prompt ' This end up '
I said 'I Love You'... But I lied
I never really experienced love in my early life … looking back on my younger years my life was just an existence. It existed of me and the Colonel. Colonel Winston Mayer my Dad was army through and through , if you’d cut through a vain gun powder would have spilled out.
Our house was never really a home don’t get me wrong I was always supplied with the basics hot food , a bed , clothes on my back , but it lacked that one special component that made a house a home . Love ….
The Colonel ran our house like a boot camp .We always lived on base, following base rules by the time I was five I could give the best recruits a run for their money.
The Colonel was a hard task master, If I didn’t pass muster every morning my life wouldn’t be worth living . I would go all day wondering and worrying about my punishment, failure was not an option . He could never see me cry. I would never let him see me cry, emotions were for girls. He would never get tired of reminding me …
'Men do not cry, Noah!'
'Suck it up recruit'
'I didn’t raise no girl Noah! be a man' this was part of my life , day in , day out, year after year these were the rules we lived by.
To say I grew up with emotional issues was an understatement, showing any kind of weakness in front of the Colonel was a definite no. I became emotionally challenged, that was the ‘IN’ word for someone like me. Yeah that's the right word emotionally challenged ,someone who couldn’t give themselves over emotionally to anyone.
~~
That was , until he walked into my life. The five foot something fire cracker all blond hair and dimples with a smile to die for, he forced his way in and turned it upside down , inside out.
Luke Snyder is his name , he entered my life at a point where I couldn’t see straight. My life had come to a cross roads, a turning point of sorts . I could move forward and be the man I wanted to be or I could stay right where I was and be the person the Colonel had forced upon me .
Luke didn’t really give me an option ,from the moment he called me out for turning up late on my first day as an intern at WOAK my whole life began to change . Luke took me kicking and screaming into my new life and for that I will always be truly grateful .
It wasn’t easy . I never made it easy for either of us, Luke especially found it hard.He would be the first to admit that he is not the most patient of people ,he was there for me completely . He was my rock , even though I was to messed up at the time to realize or appreciate him .
They say persistence pays off, well in Luke’s case it sure did, he was like a dog with a bone he knew me better than I knew myself, I just wasn’t ready to admit to anyone especially myself who the real me was. But Luke knew.
The friendship we formed in those early days is the foundation stone of our relationship today he quickly became my best friend and like any foundation I would simply crumble without him.
The first time we kissed... Wow !! was all I could think, there was nothing, and I mean nothing to compare it to in this whole wide world , an out of body experience is the only possible way of explaining it .
I’d kissed girls before , that was kinda of ok . I didn’t blow my mind or anything , but the moment my lips made contact with Luke’s that was it I was done for. I was completely and utterly lost to him and only him.
We can laugh about it now, but at the time I was so confused. I was sending out so many mixed signals it’s a wonder he stayed around long enough for us to get it together . There were a few close calls,when I really thought he had given up ,but God I’m so thankful he took a chance on me .. Hell ! he took a chance on us and to this day I have never take his love for granted.
The Colonel really did a number on me. I remember the first time Luke told me he loved me, he was so calm, so sure about his feelings. I was so jealous of him, jealous with the fact that he had the ability to show so much love not just to me but to everyone around him, he just amazed me.
That Christmas, our first Christmas as boyfriends is one of my most cherished memories. It had been a tough few months, between Luke being in hospital , having to learn to walk again, the added pressure of me knowing it was my fault , well the Colonel's fault really but if I hadn’t been around Luke would have been safe.
Luke tells me to this day that I was not to blame , but even after all these years I still get that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing it could have been so different for him , if I had just simply walked away.
~~~
Mistletoe has become our Christmas tradition, if we had to choose between a Christmas tree and a small sprig of mistletoe the mistletoe would win hands down, see that’s where we were standing when he told me he loved me for the very first time,in his Grandma’s Emma’s kitchen at the Snyder family farm under a small sprig of Mistletoe.
He looked so beautiful that night , his eyes shone so brightly, so full of wonder, so full of hope. The courage it must have taken him to say those few words , those few simple words that changed my life for ever .
'I Love You Noah . I’m so in love with you ' it was said with so much feeling , so much emotion, he gave everything to me in that one sentence , and what do you think I said in return . You’d think I would have replied to him by professing my undying love . No , I said 'Same here' can you believe it I was such a dork , how he kept a straight face I'll never know .
But he did. He just looked with such understanding it just made me melt inside. This man , this proud confident man loved me , the emotional basket case. Someone who was to afraid to open himself up , afraid of being rejected , afraid of being judge, simply afraid of being me .
That was so long ago now, and we been through so much together our lives have played out like one of those afternoon soap operas, where the main characters are subject to a whole wealth of experiences. You know the ones where they are put through an emotional rollercoaster fighting to the bitter end to keep themselves together, but yet they are torn apart.
The one big difference for us is that we got our happy ending . I finally found the courage to break through that emotional wall I'd been hiding behind . He was so patient , he never pushed, he never stopped telling me he loved me . Every single day I knew without doubt that I was and still am the love of his life .
I eventually told him 'I love you'... But I lied.... Love is not a strong enough word for what Luke means to me . He is the air that I breath , he is the fuel to that flame that burns so intently deep down inside , he is my soul mate ,he is my lover , he is my partner for life , he is my everything .
He is purely and simply my happy ending.....