15
I really don't have the time to be writing this...
i just got home from the hospital...im tired. i dont think i should have stayed the night but i couldnt force myself to leave. there is so much going through my head right now that i cant even begin to put any of it down. despite C being in the hospital and everything, a lot of good has come out of it. I...shit. She sent me a message while I was at work yesterday saying that she didnt want to be just friends anymore. im not 100% sure what that means but it made me so fucking happy i didnt care. another reason i didnt want to leave her last night. it felt so good being there, even if it was that we had to be together in a hospital bed. when i got there after i got off work though, J, an ex b/f was there. i got a bad vibe from the kid, but she said that he was going to hate me no matter what. thats his fucking problem. he fucked up, he lost her, he needs to move on...and then! this is so stupid...i knew that he was going to be drama from the whole thing from the other night. i dont know what exactly he has told everyone but from what i gather he needs to shut his fucking face before i do it for him. if what i heard he said is true then i have no respect for him. using someone elses pain to try and get him something. ARG! that shit pisses me off.
I dont want to goto work today...like i said im tired. i would be tired no matter what though. if i would have came home i would have gotten just as little sleep. i at least got to lay next to her all night. shit im cold...i was so warm next to her...actualy a little hot. i cant wait untill everything is over and she can come spend the night and not have to worry about anything. i felt like every time i touched her i was hurting her. :( this stupid shit of me being too affectionate is gonna drive her nuts i think. she is afraid of smothering me...ha.
i got to meet some of her family lastnight as well...they are weirder than my family...its great! i love to see that they can be so open with each other and...man its one of those things that is really hard to explain. they all just really love and care about each other. i can say that i wish i had met her mom under differenet conditions, but hey, you cant script life. first impression she has of me is running up to her daughter and just hugging the crap out of her...and not letting go.
arg...i need to get in the shower. i stink......and the faster today goes by the faster i get to be with her...and play MONOPOLY! will K. i freaking love that game. shit cant breath...damn cough. n e ways i guess im gonna go now...later
i just got home from the hospital...im tired. i dont think i should have stayed the night but i couldnt force myself to leave. there is so much going through my head right now that i cant even begin to put any of it down. despite C being in the hospital and everything, a lot of good has come out of it. I...shit. She sent me a message while I was at work yesterday saying that she didnt want to be just friends anymore. im not 100% sure what that means but it made me so fucking happy i didnt care. another reason i didnt want to leave her last night. it felt so good being there, even if it was that we had to be together in a hospital bed. when i got there after i got off work though, J, an ex b/f was there. i got a bad vibe from the kid, but she said that he was going to hate me no matter what. thats his fucking problem. he fucked up, he lost her, he needs to move on...and then! this is so stupid...i knew that he was going to be drama from the whole thing from the other night. i dont know what exactly he has told everyone but from what i gather he needs to shut his fucking face before i do it for him. if what i heard he said is true then i have no respect for him. using someone elses pain to try and get him something. ARG! that shit pisses me off.
I dont want to goto work today...like i said im tired. i would be tired no matter what though. if i would have came home i would have gotten just as little sleep. i at least got to lay next to her all night. shit im cold...i was so warm next to her...actualy a little hot. i cant wait untill everything is over and she can come spend the night and not have to worry about anything. i felt like every time i touched her i was hurting her. :( this stupid shit of me being too affectionate is gonna drive her nuts i think. she is afraid of smothering me...ha.
i got to meet some of her family lastnight as well...they are weirder than my family...its great! i love to see that they can be so open with each other and...man its one of those things that is really hard to explain. they all just really love and care about each other. i can say that i wish i had met her mom under differenet conditions, but hey, you cant script life. first impression she has of me is running up to her daughter and just hugging the crap out of her...and not letting go.
arg...i need to get in the shower. i stink......and the faster today goes by the faster i get to be with her...and play MONOPOLY! will K. i freaking love that game. shit cant breath...damn cough. n e ways i guess im gonna go now...later