Little lucky Zacky Baker couldn’t just have one or the other, oh no, god forbid! And of fuckin’ course he couldn’t be satisfied with just being a goddamned flaming queer, no… I just had to be this fuckin’ …monster that I fuckin’ am! A muddle of filthy, revolting…broken…things and…I just can’t…It’s so…stupid…” And then that part pretty much brike my heart.
I just...wow. I don,t even know what to comment. That's a touchy subject, but I think you've handled it well. One of my friends was actually like Zacky in this, and what Brian felt was pretty much what we, as friends, felt too. She did go through it though...and yeah it changed, but then...it was still him. And so that made me teary-eyed but, you know, in a good way.
What did we say about the rambling, dear? Don't hold back on my account, I won't tell you anymore!! :)
I'm happy you liked it, I was actually very very unsure if to post it or not, I was afraid of how people would have reacted, but it seems I didn't make a mess. Phew. I wrote it thinking about a guy I knew back in high school. He never really made it all the way through, he surrendered before, he committed suicide two years ago, one year into the "trial". See...I'm rambling too.
Wow, I aint never read one like this before! This is a great piece of work btw. Very insightful.
On another note, holy shit you made Zack a girl!!!=D But seriously,this really got me thinking. I didn't fully underst and of it, but that was because of the concept, and Zack's confusion, you wrote it well. I thought Brian dealt with it fantastically well, but then in the last paragraph, when ya realise nothing's really changed I just had this overwhelming sense of remorse. One question, for this part "He was not ready, not prepared, and most definitively not courageous enough " are ya talkin bout Brian or Zack?
Yes, yes I did. I made him a girl. Guilty as charged.
I honestly think that if you didn't understand parts of it it's simply because I wrote them badly! hehe. Joking aside, thank you for reading and the fact that it got you thinking really flatters me.
The sentence you're quoting. I wrote it with Brian as the subject, but now that you make me think about it, it can really be both. It's not that nothing really changes, it's...just a long process made of tiny baby steps. One at a time.
So, I really felt the pain of their situation, like, how incredibly fucking difficult it was for zack to speak, but also for brian. i feel bad for both of them. and the really sad thing is most of me is just screaming for zack to like, cross-dress on the weekends and forget the surgery because it's true, it's still so unacceptable in our society and, he knows it. you wrote their misery really well. and the stages of zack's breakdown, especially the end when brian reflects on how nothing will have changed tomorrow.
auhhmm...I think you gotta pick a number for the wedding, because in the last month I've already received two proposals...but sure, why not? There's enough of me for everyone, and there would be a shitload of leftovers too.
Thank you, really, for giving this a chance, though. I personally think that crossdressing and being a transgender are two separate issues, I don't know if a person who's a transgender will actually suffice with just dressing as the opposite sex in his/her private time, in fear of society's judgement. But again, I don't really know much about this subject.
ah crap. oh well, as long as you keep writing stuff like this i think my heart won't break.
but seriously, i wanted to let you know this story has been on my mind for what, two days now? i can't stop thinking about it. you put so much emotion and conflict into it. i made two of my friends read it, and they agree with me, this is by far the saddest story we've collectively read. far worse than one where a character dies. and i'm sure you could write a sequel where everything works out and they're both happy, but at the point you wrote this it seems like there is no easy solution and it...makes my heart ache.
this is longer than my original post, i'm so sorry! i just wanted to stress that in my humble opinion you wrote a truly fantastic story. i even created a new category in my mems for it. :)
wow, this is a touchy subject, but I think you handled it very well. I love this, how you made Brian in the story was simply amazing, he was sweet, understanding, compassionate, he was just there, and that pulled on my heart more than reading about Zacky crying, or anything like that, and I loved how you were able to pull a laugh out of me in a story so powerful and of such a touchy subject
Boy or girl, pink or blue, dick or pussy.
that part made me laugh so much, and at that part of the story, I kinda needed it.
so I guess what I wanted to say is that I loved it, so going into memories
You're very welcome, dear. I'm perfectly aware that this was a really depressing fic. Touchy subject. You're right. I'm happy it came through the way I wanted, that people didn't misunderstand my intentions. Thank you.
Comments 54
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Enjoy your vacation dear!! Have fun also for me!
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Little lucky Zacky Baker couldn’t just have one or the other, oh no, god forbid! And of fuckin’ course he couldn’t be satisfied with just being a goddamned flaming queer, no… I just had to be this fuckin’ …monster that I fuckin’ am! A muddle of filthy, revolting…broken…things and…I just can’t…It’s so…stupid…”
And then that part pretty much brike my heart.
I just...wow. I don,t even know what to comment. That's a touchy subject, but I think you've handled it well. One of my friends was actually like Zacky in this, and what Brian felt was pretty much what we, as friends, felt too. She did go through it though...and yeah it changed, but then...it was still him.
And so that made me teary-eyed but, you know, in a good way.
I'm rambling.
Reply
I'm happy you liked it, I was actually very very unsure if to post it or not, I was afraid of how people would have reacted, but it seems I didn't make a mess. Phew. I wrote it thinking about a guy I knew back in high school. He never really made it all the way through, he surrendered before, he committed suicide two years ago, one year into the "trial". See...I'm rambling too.
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This is a great piece of work btw.
Very insightful.
On another note, holy shit you made Zack a girl!!!=D
But seriously,this really got me thinking. I didn't fully underst and of it, but that was because of the concept, and Zack's confusion, you wrote it well.
I thought Brian dealt with it fantastically well, but then in the last paragraph, when ya realise nothing's really changed I just had this overwhelming sense of remorse.
One question, for this part "He was not ready, not prepared, and most definitively not courageous enough " are ya talkin bout Brian or Zack?
I love it though <3
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I honestly think that if you didn't understand parts of it it's simply because I wrote them badly! hehe. Joking aside, thank you for reading and the fact that it got you thinking really flatters me.
The sentence you're quoting. I wrote it with Brian as the subject, but now that you make me think about it, it can really be both. It's not that nothing really changes, it's...just a long process made of tiny baby steps. One at a time.
Thank you!
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So, I really felt the pain of their situation, like, how incredibly fucking difficult it was for zack to speak, but also for brian. i feel bad for both of them. and the really sad thing is most of me is just screaming for zack to like, cross-dress on the weekends and forget the surgery because it's true, it's still so unacceptable in our society and, he knows it. you wrote their misery really well. and the stages of zack's breakdown, especially the end when brian reflects on how nothing will have changed tomorrow.
okay, i definitely love you. marry me? ;)
xoxo
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Thank you, really, for giving this a chance, though. I personally think that crossdressing and being a transgender are two separate issues, I don't know if a person who's a transgender will actually suffice with just dressing as the opposite sex in his/her private time, in fear of society's judgement. But again, I don't really know much about this subject.
But yeah, I love you too?
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but seriously, i wanted to let you know this story has been on my mind for what, two days now? i can't stop thinking about it. you put so much emotion and conflict into it. i made two of my friends read it, and they agree with me, this is by far the saddest story we've collectively read. far worse than one where a character dies. and i'm sure you could write a sequel where everything works out and they're both happy, but at the point you wrote this it seems like there is no easy solution and it...makes my heart ache.
this is longer than my original post, i'm so sorry! i just wanted to stress that in my humble opinion you wrote a truly fantastic story. i even created a new category in my mems for it. :)
keep writing, you rock.
xoxo
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I'm...speechless.
Uh...thank you? I don't know what to say. I...uh.
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Boy or girl, pink or blue, dick or pussy.
that part made me laugh so much, and at that part of the story, I kinda needed it.
so I guess what I wanted to say is that I loved it, so going into memories
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