West Team's Advance: The Preserve
Fraser
Fraser wasn't a violent man but he was very ready to kick the little gremlin as they walked along. He didn't say anything because the gremlin was being helpful but he was annoying.
Still, they were almost there. He could handle this.
Peter
"Hard to believe it's down to one of these guys," Peter said. He kept a lookout, ready to draw on whatever power he needed to help protect the team.
Mina
"Help is often found in unlikely places," Mina said. "I have found allies amongst stranger things."
Peter
"I can't decide if that's comforting or disturbing," Peter admitted.
Daisy
Daisy, fully ready to get at least one or two rebukes for the comment, added with a slight smile, "And they are still residents of our island. A bit like cockroaches can be to a house..." She lifted her voice to the gremlin, "No offense, of course! But, I mean, getting a whole variety of the island's...population involved to solve the problem. You don't much find that sort of...community cohesiveness anymore."
Which, really, was pulled entirely out of Daisy's bum, as she was just ecstatic to actually be doing something, anything, finally.
Fraser
"I was honestly surprised they agreed to help," Fraser replied, brow furrowing at the impatient gremlin. "They haven't always seemed like the friendliest, most gracious creatures."
Pause.
"I hope they're not expecting a paycheck."
Peter
"Do they take money?" Peter asked, curiously.
Arya
"If they do, I wonder what they would use it for?" Arya replied, studying the gremlin. They didn't look like they needed money.
Mina
"Perhaps there are gremlins of ill repute?" Mina joked, lightly.
Fraser
"I'm concerned that that thought isn't as disturbing as it should be," Fraser said, shaking his head at himself.
Ray
"Gremlin philosophy, yadda yadda," Ray muttered, shooting the others kind of a look. Was he the only one who would like to please do this and get the fuck out of here already? "Can we get a move on?"
Fraser
"We're moving, Ray," Fraser chided. "Calm down or you'll give yourself an ulcer."
Daisy
"Other than the one he's already got?"
Really, Daisy couldn't help that one.
Fraser
Fraser frowned and then clarified, "Calm down or you'll give yourself another ulcer. Two is not better than one."
Ray
"The both of you need to cram it," Ray shot back, "Or I'm gonna kick you both in the head. I don't like skulking around."
Fraser
"That would just give you a herniated disc in your back," Fraser couldn't help but add.
Ray
"Not the point, Fraser."
Peter
"I'm pretty sure if I strained I could make us all invisible," Peter said. "Mute on the other hand..."
Mina
"You could make us invisible?" Mina said, a little surprised.
Peter
"Maybe," Peter said. "I've done one other person if I'm touching them. It's possible I could do more, but I've never tried."
Peter would totally be stupid enough to try if the need came up.
Arya
"That would be quite an accomplishment," Arya observed. "I might know of a spell to help with it," she added.
Peter
"We can keep it in our pockets if we get attacked," Peter said.
Fraser
"An excellent plan," Fraser said, nodding at them.
Gremlin
Less talk, more raiding!
The little gremlin that was travelling with the intrepid Team West had never been the patient sort. There were zombies up ahead, after all, and there was a job to be done, and the sooner they finished it up the sooner he could go back home in order to get back to watching his soaps!
It was time to take matters into his own wee little hands, if he was ever going to make it back in time to find out if so-and-so really was just an evil twin!
And that was why he was sinking his wee little teeth into the ankle of his nearest escort, the one with the emo-hair, before taking off to repeat the process five more times!
Peter
"Ow! Son of a - " Peter said when he felt the bite. Trying to warn the others warred with trying to see if his healing powers could help prevent the aftereffects and ultimately all of that was trying to form a plan, which Peter totally sucked at.
Which is why he started to transform. Because even inatimate gremlin venom could work more efficently and proactively than Peter could.
Fraser
Fraser really wished he'd kicked that darn gremlin. Really, really wished it once he felt the gremlin's teeth sink into his boot and hit his skin.
Of course, there would be no kicking it now because Fraser wasn't going to be Fraser for awhile.
Mina
Mina turned just in time to see the gremlin leap up and bite her on the knee.
Her last thought before her mind clouded was simply 'Oh no, not again'.
Daisy
...So much for community cohesion.
Of course, Daisy would have been just a second too slow to keep a nice set of gremlin teeth in her shoulder (always the shoulder), but she felt that she got in a pretty good pistol whip in getting him off.
Arya
There went Arya's free pass on gremlin bites.
Usually, she was fast on her feet but somehow the gremlin had gotten the drop on her. And her arm. Damn, that hurt.
Before Arya could even think about summoning a healing spell, the transformation began.
Ray
"Seriously?" was all Ray managed to bark out before he felt the sharp bitey teeth of doom. Great. Just great.
This was all Fraser's fault, he thought, and then he didn't think much of all of it.
Zombies!
Their master had told them to go, to find anyone with brains, and to eat them. And then he'd offered the horde of zombies that was dragging their way toward the West team a reward of some sort for a job well done.
But really, brains were their own reward, and they were all too happy to do the job for free, moaning hungrily as they shuffled up to the invading forces.
"Braaaaaaaaaains..."
Peter
Peter, who had transformed into a tweenage girl in Hot Topic finest and carrying a sign saw the zombies and screamed.
Possibly not like you'd expect.
"OMIGAWD OMIGAWD THEY'RE HERE! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!"
Yes, "Squee" had actually been said aloud. In a key that possibly only dogs could hear.
Fraser
Fraser, who now looked much younger and much, much more blonde caught sight of the zombies and immediately fell to his knees, weeping openly.
Hands outstretched to the zombies, he squealed, "I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU! I WORSHIP YOU! I HAVE A SHRIIIIIIIINE!"
Really, really disturbing coming from a Mountie.
Peter
The fangirl formerly known as Peter was close to hyperventilating.
"OMIGAWD! I like, totally have all of your albums and like ALL of my MySpace is DEVOTED to you and my friend Kelly is all OH MAH GAHD only The Wherewulvez are cool and I TOTALLY defriended her because ZOMBEEZ ARE THE BEST AND I WANNA GIVE A SHOUT-OUT TO MY BFF BETHANNY!!! ZOMBEEZ FOREVER!!! NOM NOM BRAINS IS THE BEST SONG IN THE WHOLE WORLD! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"
Mina
Mina, who likewise was transformed to the state of mental mush and mass hysteria, found herself quite overcome by seeing the sight of her beloved group.
She screeched at the top of her lungs, and with a mighty pull managed to... expose her bosom to undead beasts.
"I'VE SAVED THESE FOR YOU! I'VE LOVED YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN MY LIFE! I WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND IN A PAST LIFE!"
Daisy
Daisy was doubtful about being able to beat that girl in the frenzied attempt to gain some notice from these gods of everything that could ever be important in life ever.
"ZOMBEEZ! I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN EVRAR, EVER EVER! I EVEN CAME ALL THE WAY FROM ENGLAND TO SEE ALL YOUR SHOOOOOWS! ALL OF THEM."
...you see, Daisy as a fangirl actually wasn't that different from Daisy in general.
"PLEASE FATHER MY CHILDREN!!!"
Except maybe that part.
Fraser
"EXCUSE ME, I'M THE BIGGEST FAN EVER!" Who knows who Fraser was talking to. They were all going to hate themselves when it was all said and done. "THEY LOVE ME BEST! ME!"
Fraser had no proof of that. Not really.
"THEY WROTE ME A LETTER! IT WAS SIGNED! THAT MEANS I'M THE NUMBER ONE FAAAAAAAAN!"
Apparently, they had to scream everything.
Peter
"I wrote a story!" Peter the fangirl looked far too proud of this. "It was about everybody in the band but especially the one with the soul patch because everybody knows he's only rough on the outside to hide how much of a poet he is on the inside? And there was a girl who was TOTALLY NOT ME because she spelled her name with a Y and everybody knows I spell mine with an I. But this TOTALLY NOT ME girl was like living on the streets as a homeless prostitute and then Soul Patch Zombee RESCUED M - I mean HER and THEY FELL IN LOVE AND GOT MARRIED FOREVER AND EVER!!!! AND I USED SONG LYRICS FROM MMMMBRAINS BECAUSE THAT TOTALLY REPRESENTED THEIR TRUE LOVE!!!!"
Daisy
"I told this one girl at my school," Daisy offered out in a desperate screech, "that you guys were better than the Beatles, who are totally a big deal because I'm BRITISH, and she PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH I HAD TO GET FIVE STITCHES AND I NAMED THEM ALL AFTER YOU! I STILL HAVE ZEKE. THERE WERE COMPLICATIONS IN SURGERY!"
Fraser
Fraser was so prepared to argue with Daisy. In fact, he was ready to throw down but when one of the zombies brushed past him, spreading his rotting, disgusting smell, Fraser fainted dead away.
Too bad there were no burly security guards to catch him. He was just SO STAR STRUCK.
Arya
A younger looking Arya had tears in her eyes. She couldn't believe she was seeing Zombeez in person, right in front of her. "I LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOOOOO MUCH!" Yes, she'd screamed that at the nearest zombie. With tears streaming down her face.
Arya might try and end her life when this was all said and done. "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" Really, she might.
Mina
"BITCH!" Mina screeched. "THEY'RE ALL GOING TO MARRY ME! I TOOK A VOW OF PURITY FOR THEM! MARRY ME, NOT HER! I'VE PRACTICED KISSING ON YOUR POSTERS, SO MY LIPS HAVE ONLY EVER TOUCHED YOU!"
It'd be very probable she'd want to decapitate herself when she gained her senses.
Ray
"YOU ALL SUCK!" Ray declared, 'cause he was the big rebellious one and also eeeeeee! "I'm gonna FLAME YOU ALL IN THE HEAD! I GOT MORE POSTERS! ZOMBEEZ!" This all at a pitch only to be described as insanely shrill.
ZOMBEEZ!
The zombies all stood there, in a state as near to shock as any shambling undead beast had ever been in.
The master had told them to eat brains. They were out here in order to do just that. Eat brains.
...
And so they pushed their way past all the weird meaty things in search of some, because clearly there were no brains here.
The gremlin stood nearby and grinned to himself, pretty darn proud of his handiwork, indeed.