As You Lean Into the Light

[zoje_george]

A few weeks ago sinsense created a Push Me Out of My Comfort Zone meme and I was totally gonna do it,

Comments

[theodicy]

Oh dear. We are all this way, aren't we? If I'm told I'm pretty, I'm startled and chagrined and a bit sickened (if you only knew) and secretly very hopeful.

OTOH, my first thought was, "I'm so GLAD to have that picture because she's SO beautiful."

True fact. So.

[theodicy]

As much because of the character blazing through the photo, as the planes of your face. And all.

Not to comfort. But I'll plop down next to you. :plops:

[zoje_george]

That picture lies.

[sorenr]

Doesn't stop the wanting, does it? Doesn't stop the desire to be beautiful through the eyes of a beloved.

Indeed. That wanting, that desire doesn't seem to ever go away, no matter how much one tries to be sensible, cerebral and disconnected from that sort of shallow urges. I want somebody to look at me and think I'm the most beautiful person in the world. And for a moment, just for a moment, to believe it myself.

[zoje_george]

It's the last one that's the most difficult.

[borrowedwings]

My women's studies professor asked this question when I was a freshman, and I wrote pages and pages about it in my journal that night-- and I think I wrote a poem about it. I had the same answer, and it was painful to realize that. Especially with it being "What-" an open-ended question. It would have been a lot less painful to answer "Do you feel beautiful?"

[zoje_george]

Fuck yeah.

It has become a social faux-pas to say "I'm not pretty." or "I'm not beautiful."

[lariss]

We're all expected to be comforted byt he platitude: all women are beautiful.
And I think that's bullshit.
Beautiful would mean nothing if everyone were beautiful. For some women, beautiful's all they've got! How can those of us with outstanding character, ethics, intelligence, humor, strength, and talent, be expected to pine over "beautiful" as if it were the only characteristic that really matters

Unpretty

[zoje_george]

I think you are the most iconoclastic person I have ever had the honor of knowing.

Re: Unpretty

[lariss]

Wow. Thank you!

Re: It has become a social faux-pas to say "I'm not pretty." or "I'm not beautiful."

[pescana]

Very well said. Kind of what I was thinking, although I got there from a different angle. I was reading a book earlier where the author writes about what a gift it was when his companion of the moment told him he wasn't handsome, but he was passable. Doors are open for the passable, people don't hate them or want them for their looks and they aren't stared at or wondered about, and it's a much easier life than having looks that are striking on either end of the spectrum.

Which I thought was a pretty interesting way to look at it.

[sensational]

This entry is poetic in the way it captures, er, exactly what it captures. This thing about being female and not just-so.

I read it and made sure that you were on M's flist so she'd read it, too.

[zoje_george]

Thank you.

You know I love the way you write, your good opinion means a great deal to me.