Between Two Thieves
Title: Between Two Thieves
Author: zoewarren
Rating: All Ages
Characters: Simon, Inara
Pairing: Mal/Inara, Simon/Kaylee
Challenge: #005 - "What do you want?"
Spoilers/Timeline: post-BDM (spoilers for the movie)
Sequel To: Caveats and Addendums
Word Count: um... I'm not telling.
Disclaimer: Joss is boss, I'm just playing
Summary: Inara struggles with coming and going, and Simon is creating a reason to stay.
Author's Note:
This one is set back in time a little bit. The first section comes right after Leave of Absence, and the rest of the story happens just long enough after Caveats and Addendums that the dust has had time to settle somewhat.
Not only did I overshoot the word limit again, this time I also fudged the challenge a little bit. I really am very bad at this. The exact nature of the challenge was to include a prescribed snippet of dialogue in the story. It turns out I have a bit of a philosophical objection to having the dialogue written for me, so I compromised. This is the story inspired by that dialogue. Let's say I followed the spirit of the challenge. Or something.
(And, if anyone is wondering, the title comes from a quote by Fulton Oursler: "Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future." Seemed apt.)
Between Two Thieves
Simon first had the idea on Haven.
Shortly after they dropped Inara at the Training House, Serenity made her way back to Haven to mark the first anniversary of the deaths of Wash and Book. Of Miranda.
The mine was up and running again, the corporation having brought in new workers to run the place. Never a shortage of people looking for work. They were a friendly group and on the surface Haven was as welcoming as always. But Simon found he couldn’t stop looking for the familiar faces. Couldn’t stop waiting to catch sight of Shepherd Book. The residents of Haven had been his friends, and they’d been his patients - inasmuch as he had patients outside of Serenity’s crew. And he couldn’t help feeling as though he’d failed them, somehow.
Still, he offered his services to the new workers. A few took him up on it. One or two offered payment. He accepted only in trade for goods that Serenity required. It wasn’t the same feeling of family. But it started him thinking.
Just thinking, at the time.
Serenity didn’t linger long. They paid their respects to their dead. Little Grace was introduced to her father for the first time. Zoe inked the baby’s hand and pressed a tiny palm print against the side of Wash’s headstone. Kaylee cried herself to sleep.
The next day, they stocked up on what supplies they needed and made their farewells.
Mal’s sombre mood didn’t stand out so much in the first days after their visit. Simon waited for a better time to approach him. But Mal remained stony-faced long after the others had come around. His disposition didn’t change at all until Inara returned four months later.
** **
Inara sat at the kitchen table late in the evening with Serenity’s accounting ledgers spread out in front of her. She was reading through the pages Mal had kept up while she was away, trying to pick up the threads of shipboard life once again. Coded beneath the dry numbers and notations was the story of the last four months, the small details of everyday life. Where they’d stopped, what they’d eaten, repairs they’d had to make. She was greedy for the knowledge, even as it raked up the homesickness for everything she’d missed. It was a hard thing, sometimes, to accept that life went on without you.
As she read, she found herself keeping three separate lists in her head of questions to ask Mal, Zoe and Kaylee respectively. Some items appeared on all three lists - the only way to get the whole story. The explanation for the purchase of a crate of rubber ducks, for instance. And the large re-stock of medical supplies.
Her finger trailed across the record of the transactions on Haven, and she lingered on the page with a heavy heart. She had marked the day in her own way at the Training House, finding time in the quiet of the night to light a bowl of incense, say her own prayers for the dead and for the living. It still rankled that the realities of schedules and flight plans had kept her from being there herself. Missing everyday events was one thing, but missing this felt like a failure.
She wondered if her absence on that day was part of what had turned Mal so far into himself. It still frightened her, in a way, what her leaving had done to him. But she tried very hard not to think about that. Or about how, in a matter of months, she was going to have to leave again.
It was a relief when Simon wandered into the kitchen looking for a drink.
“You have excellent timing. I was just looking for a distraction.”
“Glad to be of service. A little too boring, is it?”
“No, a little too interesting.” She smiled and waved off his confused look.
He poured himself a glass of water and stirred in some of the flavoured vitamin powder that went a ways toward covering the stale taste. He brought his glass and joined her at the table.
“How does it look in there?”
“I’m still catching up, but we seem to be in the black. A minor miracle of sorts.”
“Yes. The captain has been very… focused, these past few months.”
Inara knew Simon never intended his words as a dig at her, but he was skirting territory she didn’t want to revisit. She kept her tone deliberately light. “That’s one word for it.”
“Could I… Could I ask you something?”
Inara looked up at him, trying to judge where he was going, trying to mask her wariness. “Of course.”
“Do we have enough money to buy an inventory of medical supplies?”
It took Inara just a moment to switch gears as she realised that Simon was having a different conversation entirely. She shifted into a very different kind of worry. “Again?”
“What?”
Inara laid her hand on the ledgers in explanation. “You restocked two months ago. Simon, is someone sick?”
“No, no, nothing like that. I’ve just been thinking. I’d like to open a clinic.”
“A clinic? Where?”
“Wherever we go. We visit border moons and rim worlds that are pretty far off the beaten track. Sometimes the infrastructure just isn’t there. It’s not the same as setting up and being part of the community, but I think I could help.”
“Simon, that’s a wonderful idea.”
His smile was rueful. “Not that I don’t enjoy freelancing as a criminal mastermind, but…”
“It’s not what you trained for. I understand.”
She did understand, and she made the mistake of allowing Simon to see that. He cocked his head, watching her. “Do you miss it?” he asked.
And they were back to the conversation she had been trying not to have. But Simon was maybe the one person who needed the answers more than she needed not to think about it. “There are things about that life that I miss. I miss… doing work I was good at. I miss knowing my place in the ‘verse.”
Simon nodded. “Is it hard to go back?”
Inara was a little surprised at the bitterness that bubbled up at his question. She swallowed the harsh laugh that came with it; it wasn’t Simon she was angry with.
“It’s hard going both ways.” And, even for Simon, there was a limit on how far she was going to allow this conversation to go. It wasn’t her he really wanted to discuss anyway. “Do you think about going back?”
Simon’s smile was sad. “All the time. But not…” He sighed. “It’s a fantasy. I want to go back to a time, not a place.”
“You seem more accepting of that idea now.”
“It’s gotten a little easier. We can’t go home, but we can get off the ship when we’re in port. And River’s doing better. Piloting the ship has been good for her, I think. It gives her something to focus on. And I think… there are so few of us on board and she knows us so well, now. It’s easier for her here than it would be on a planet, in a crowded city.” He smiled. “And then there’s Kaylee.”
“Ah, yes. Is that where the clinic idea came from?”
“Did she suggest it, you mean? No. I, um… I kind of wanted to surprise her with it.”
“That’s very sweet.”
“Do you think it could work? I wouldn’t want to charge much. Just to cover the costs, maybe. Or in trade for supplies.”
“I think it’s possible. Why don’t you put together a list of what you think you’ll need and what it will cost and we can talk again before you take this to Mal.”
Simon flinched ever so slightly. “I was hoping…”
“Oh, no. I’ll be happy to confirm that we can afford it, but this is your idea and it’s Mal’s decision. You two will have to work it out by yourselves.”
“I was afraid you were going to say that.”
“That’s because you are a very smart boy.”
He laughed and pushed back his chair to stand. “I’ll put that list together for you. Are you going to be okay up here with those ledgers by yourself, now?”
“Yes, you performed admirably in your duties as a distraction.”
“I live to serve.” Simon took his water glass and headed back down in the direction of the infirmary.
Inara watched him go. He had certainly given her something new to think about. She admired him for finally trying to carve out a piece of Serenity for himself. She wondered if Kaylee would see it as the commitment it so clearly was. She would have to wait and see how the surprise played itself out.
She turned her attention back to the ledgers, resolutely flipping forward in time to the current situation. She started combing through the figures, wanting to make sure she had answers for Simon when he came back to her.
There was always new work she could be good at.
Author: zoewarren
Rating: All Ages
Characters: Simon, Inara
Pairing: Mal/Inara, Simon/Kaylee
Challenge: #005 - "What do you want?"
Spoilers/Timeline: post-BDM (spoilers for the movie)
Sequel To: Caveats and Addendums
Word Count: um... I'm not telling.
Disclaimer: Joss is boss, I'm just playing
Summary: Inara struggles with coming and going, and Simon is creating a reason to stay.
Author's Note:
This one is set back in time a little bit. The first section comes right after Leave of Absence, and the rest of the story happens just long enough after Caveats and Addendums that the dust has had time to settle somewhat.
Not only did I overshoot the word limit again, this time I also fudged the challenge a little bit. I really am very bad at this. The exact nature of the challenge was to include a prescribed snippet of dialogue in the story. It turns out I have a bit of a philosophical objection to having the dialogue written for me, so I compromised. This is the story inspired by that dialogue. Let's say I followed the spirit of the challenge. Or something.
(And, if anyone is wondering, the title comes from a quote by Fulton Oursler: "Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future." Seemed apt.)
Between Two Thieves
Simon first had the idea on Haven.
Shortly after they dropped Inara at the Training House, Serenity made her way back to Haven to mark the first anniversary of the deaths of Wash and Book. Of Miranda.
The mine was up and running again, the corporation having brought in new workers to run the place. Never a shortage of people looking for work. They were a friendly group and on the surface Haven was as welcoming as always. But Simon found he couldn’t stop looking for the familiar faces. Couldn’t stop waiting to catch sight of Shepherd Book. The residents of Haven had been his friends, and they’d been his patients - inasmuch as he had patients outside of Serenity’s crew. And he couldn’t help feeling as though he’d failed them, somehow.
Still, he offered his services to the new workers. A few took him up on it. One or two offered payment. He accepted only in trade for goods that Serenity required. It wasn’t the same feeling of family. But it started him thinking.
Just thinking, at the time.
Serenity didn’t linger long. They paid their respects to their dead. Little Grace was introduced to her father for the first time. Zoe inked the baby’s hand and pressed a tiny palm print against the side of Wash’s headstone. Kaylee cried herself to sleep.
The next day, they stocked up on what supplies they needed and made their farewells.
Mal’s sombre mood didn’t stand out so much in the first days after their visit. Simon waited for a better time to approach him. But Mal remained stony-faced long after the others had come around. His disposition didn’t change at all until Inara returned four months later.
** **
Inara sat at the kitchen table late in the evening with Serenity’s accounting ledgers spread out in front of her. She was reading through the pages Mal had kept up while she was away, trying to pick up the threads of shipboard life once again. Coded beneath the dry numbers and notations was the story of the last four months, the small details of everyday life. Where they’d stopped, what they’d eaten, repairs they’d had to make. She was greedy for the knowledge, even as it raked up the homesickness for everything she’d missed. It was a hard thing, sometimes, to accept that life went on without you.
As she read, she found herself keeping three separate lists in her head of questions to ask Mal, Zoe and Kaylee respectively. Some items appeared on all three lists - the only way to get the whole story. The explanation for the purchase of a crate of rubber ducks, for instance. And the large re-stock of medical supplies.
Her finger trailed across the record of the transactions on Haven, and she lingered on the page with a heavy heart. She had marked the day in her own way at the Training House, finding time in the quiet of the night to light a bowl of incense, say her own prayers for the dead and for the living. It still rankled that the realities of schedules and flight plans had kept her from being there herself. Missing everyday events was one thing, but missing this felt like a failure.
She wondered if her absence on that day was part of what had turned Mal so far into himself. It still frightened her, in a way, what her leaving had done to him. But she tried very hard not to think about that. Or about how, in a matter of months, she was going to have to leave again.
It was a relief when Simon wandered into the kitchen looking for a drink.
“You have excellent timing. I was just looking for a distraction.”
“Glad to be of service. A little too boring, is it?”
“No, a little too interesting.” She smiled and waved off his confused look.
He poured himself a glass of water and stirred in some of the flavoured vitamin powder that went a ways toward covering the stale taste. He brought his glass and joined her at the table.
“How does it look in there?”
“I’m still catching up, but we seem to be in the black. A minor miracle of sorts.”
“Yes. The captain has been very… focused, these past few months.”
Inara knew Simon never intended his words as a dig at her, but he was skirting territory she didn’t want to revisit. She kept her tone deliberately light. “That’s one word for it.”
“Could I… Could I ask you something?”
Inara looked up at him, trying to judge where he was going, trying to mask her wariness. “Of course.”
“Do we have enough money to buy an inventory of medical supplies?”
It took Inara just a moment to switch gears as she realised that Simon was having a different conversation entirely. She shifted into a very different kind of worry. “Again?”
“What?”
Inara laid her hand on the ledgers in explanation. “You restocked two months ago. Simon, is someone sick?”
“No, no, nothing like that. I’ve just been thinking. I’d like to open a clinic.”
“A clinic? Where?”
“Wherever we go. We visit border moons and rim worlds that are pretty far off the beaten track. Sometimes the infrastructure just isn’t there. It’s not the same as setting up and being part of the community, but I think I could help.”
“Simon, that’s a wonderful idea.”
His smile was rueful. “Not that I don’t enjoy freelancing as a criminal mastermind, but…”
“It’s not what you trained for. I understand.”
She did understand, and she made the mistake of allowing Simon to see that. He cocked his head, watching her. “Do you miss it?” he asked.
And they were back to the conversation she had been trying not to have. But Simon was maybe the one person who needed the answers more than she needed not to think about it. “There are things about that life that I miss. I miss… doing work I was good at. I miss knowing my place in the ‘verse.”
Simon nodded. “Is it hard to go back?”
Inara was a little surprised at the bitterness that bubbled up at his question. She swallowed the harsh laugh that came with it; it wasn’t Simon she was angry with.
“It’s hard going both ways.” And, even for Simon, there was a limit on how far she was going to allow this conversation to go. It wasn’t her he really wanted to discuss anyway. “Do you think about going back?”
Simon’s smile was sad. “All the time. But not…” He sighed. “It’s a fantasy. I want to go back to a time, not a place.”
“You seem more accepting of that idea now.”
“It’s gotten a little easier. We can’t go home, but we can get off the ship when we’re in port. And River’s doing better. Piloting the ship has been good for her, I think. It gives her something to focus on. And I think… there are so few of us on board and she knows us so well, now. It’s easier for her here than it would be on a planet, in a crowded city.” He smiled. “And then there’s Kaylee.”
“Ah, yes. Is that where the clinic idea came from?”
“Did she suggest it, you mean? No. I, um… I kind of wanted to surprise her with it.”
“That’s very sweet.”
“Do you think it could work? I wouldn’t want to charge much. Just to cover the costs, maybe. Or in trade for supplies.”
“I think it’s possible. Why don’t you put together a list of what you think you’ll need and what it will cost and we can talk again before you take this to Mal.”
Simon flinched ever so slightly. “I was hoping…”
“Oh, no. I’ll be happy to confirm that we can afford it, but this is your idea and it’s Mal’s decision. You two will have to work it out by yourselves.”
“I was afraid you were going to say that.”
“That’s because you are a very smart boy.”
He laughed and pushed back his chair to stand. “I’ll put that list together for you. Are you going to be okay up here with those ledgers by yourself, now?”
“Yes, you performed admirably in your duties as a distraction.”
“I live to serve.” Simon took his water glass and headed back down in the direction of the infirmary.
Inara watched him go. He had certainly given her something new to think about. She admired him for finally trying to carve out a piece of Serenity for himself. She wondered if Kaylee would see it as the commitment it so clearly was. She would have to wait and see how the surprise played itself out.
She turned her attention back to the ledgers, resolutely flipping forward in time to the current situation. She started combing through the figures, wanting to make sure she had answers for Simon when he came back to her.
There was always new work she could be good at.