Title: Made to be Broken
Author: zoewarren
Rating: Ages 18+
Characters: Mal, Inara, crew
Pairing: Mal/Inara
Challenge: #002 - A First Kiss
Spoilers/Timeline: post-BDM (spoilers for the movie)
Sequel To: pretty much everything, but can theoretically stand alone
Word Count: 671
Disclaimer: Joss is boss, I'm just playing
Summary: Mal breaks his own rule
Author's Note:
This is set several weeks after
Caveats and Addendums. If you haven't read it, I think this can pretty much stand alone. All you need to know is Mal's one rule: no touching in public.
Also, I wrote this somewhat in reaction to my overdose of angst during
Coming Home. This story was intended to be pure candy floss - nothing but spun sugar and air. It got a little moodier than I intended somewhere in the middle there, but still, you may want to keep your insulin handy. Just sayin'.
Made to be Broken
It was a comfortable night around the dinner table. Inara had produced a punnet of fresh fruit from somewhere as a surprise for dessert, and the whole crew was lingering to savour it. Mal sat, leaning back in his chair, legs stretched out under the table, relaxed and content as he watched Inara.
She was in the middle of a story - possibly the tale of how she had wangled the fruit in the first place - but Mal wasn’t listening. He was sure it was a funny story. Everyone else at the table was laughing. But Mal was enchanted by something else entirely.
Inara was smiling. A big, slightly goofy smile that was part pride, part triumph, and part sheer joy. And there wasn’t the slightest trace of the poise, the reserve, the well-trained mask she still sometimes wore. She looked impossibly young.
She looked happy.
And when she turned to him with that smile on her face, looking for his reaction to her story, he forgot himself completely. He leaned in and kissed her.
It wasn’t until he pulled back that he realised everyone was watching them. The grin Kaylee was sporting threatened to split her face in two. He stiffened, looking to Inara in apology for having broken his own rule. She didn’t seem to mind. In fact, she looked like she was trying not to burst out laughing.
The storm of teasing Mal expected never materialised. There were indulgent looks a-plenty, but the others seemed willing to let it slide for now. Although Zoe’s expression promised torture to come. Mal resumed his relaxed position, trying to pretend that nothing unusual had happened as the conversation swirled on past him, but he felt suddenly on edge and couldn’t seem to recapture the mood of the evening.
It took him a moment to realise that he was terrified. Terrified that somehow showing the relationship in public was going to bring it all crashing down. That admitting he cared meant she would suddenly disappear out from under him.
It wasn’t ever going to last, whatever it was they had together. Not like this. There were too many things left unsaid, too many issues they were trying to ignore. It wasn’t ever going to last, but Mal realised he wasn’t willing to let it go.
Without shifting his position, he reached out under the table, found Inara’s thigh and simply held on. As though that would keep her where she was, would prevent it all from coming apart.
She didn’t react outwardly to his grip, but before long her hand came to rest lightly over his, a quiet reassurance.
Later that night, the unease was still with him. He reached out and pulled her close against him under the covers. She went willingly, but shifted position so she could see his face.
“What’s wrong, Mal?” Her tone was gentle. She was worried about him.
He wanted to tell her. Actually wanted to admit that he was scared. Wanted to hear her tell him he hadn’t doomed them both. But all of that would only open the doors to the questions and the issues they were both still hiding from. Telling her would be the beginning of the end.
He simply shook his head. “I broke our rule today.”
“And look, the world didn’t end.”
“Not yet.”
“Not yet,” she agreed, and kissed him.
He found a smile for her. “You know, Zoe’s gonna tease somethin’ merciless.”
“Yes, but she’s going to tease you, not me.”
“Don’t seem fair.”
“You’re the one who kissed me at the dinner table. I’d say you were asking for it.”
“Nope. Was all your fault. You were lookin’ all kissable.”
“Was I?”
“You were.” His smile was more heartfelt this time. “And, in fact…”
He kissed her again. And she kissed him back. And he stuffed his fear back down, along with all the questions that it raised. There was time enough to deal with that disaster when it came. He had more important things to be thinking on just now.