third staking ✝ [ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ] ✝ count bodies like sheep ✝ { SUPERbackdated. to the 21st. got mod's okay }

[slayery]

That makes numero tres for death count. And again with the lack of permanence.

[ It's not really... clear where she's sitting, but she's sitting with her device on the ground next to her feet, angled up toward her, arms resting loosely on propped up knees, just kind of... looking off and trying not to think too hard. And, so far? Death's got like

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locked;

[idolstolemylook]

Buffy.

[He looks awful. And like he's going to cry. But also been on a bender.

Which he has.]

Buffy, d'you need me? I'll come get you. Don't... don't move.

locked;

[idolstolemylook]

The fuck do you think?

[He's glaring, and then he catches himself, visibly trying to sober up.]

I'm sorry. Buffy... Don't mean to be cross with you. Had a bit too much, is all. You... take your walk. Whatever's wrong, it's better now.

[And he's lucky he's always been the type who tries to kill himself slowly.]

locked; // action ;

[slayery]

I'll be home soon. [ She'll just leave it there. She's glad he's alright but he needs a minute, and so does she. So she walks back the rest of the way in silence and without her device open or anything. Once she gets open, she opens the door kind of slowly... Almost cautiously. She steps in, looking around. It's not as bad as it could be, but... He definitely hasn't been okay. Closing and locking the door behind her (mostly out of habit), she calls out. ]

Spike?

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[idolstolemylook]

[There's a clattering sound from the kitchen area, as Spike drops a whole armful of bottles into the dustbin. And then he's in the doorway, keeping his distance for now, drinking in the sight of her. He looks disheveled and dissipated, as he always does when he lets himself go this way.]

Buffy.

[He swallows. He's never been very good at hiding his emotions. His brow furrows with the effort, but he can't stop himself from walking up to her.]

Don't you ever do that again. Can't bear it.

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[slayery]

[ She sees his expression, how he looks... She knows he's suffered because of this. Just like last time. Only this time... She can handle it the right way. She isn't numb. She didn't lose Heaven. She's happy she didn't stay dead. Really happy. ]

I'm sorry. [ She reaches out and touches his arm, giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. ] It's not like I aimed for it or anything. So, y'know, no promises. Slayery line of work doesn't really go with the not-ever-dying. But I'll try.

[ Aaand now it's her turn. ] ... You're okay, right? You didn't do anything dumb?

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[idolstolemylook]

[He puts his hand over hers, eyes searching for... something. And he finds her, not that girl who came back last time. There's life in her eyes.]

Nothin' that won't dry out eventually. [He has been drinking pretty steadily. He moves his hand to trace the side of her face, forgetting himself. He's been so careful about touching her.] Interestin' experiment, anyway. No better or worse without the soul. No bloody difference at all.

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[slayery]

[ She closes her eyes, not even thinking twice about letting herself lean into that touch. In fact, she doesn't think twice about leaning her forehead toward his. It's comfort and it doesn't feel anything but ... right. That's the only word she can come up with to describe it. It's just the right thing to do. ]

I'm back now. It's okay. I'm just glad you're still here, y'know? Glad you didn't go all splitsville on me.

action ;

[idolstolemylook]

[His breath catches as he forgets he doesn't have to. She smells... He breaths her in, let's himself accept she's really here.]

Where would I go, love?

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[slayery]

[ She shakes her head very subtly from side to side, not even sure how to answer. ]

.. Away. Which is ... of many bads.

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[idolstolemylook]

[He needs to step away. He knows this. This is not leading to anything good, by which he means the good things he's thinking about are not good things for them. For Buffy, anyway.]

You'd live. [He glances over her shoulder, just a moment, trying to release the tension.] Have a tidier place, anyway.

action ;

[slayery]

Spike, I lost you once. I don't really want to again. Think about how you felt -- [ She stops, closing her mouth and taking a deep breath in through her nose. She can't help the soft chuckle, and she shakes her head. ] Just let me be glad you're here.

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[idolstolemylook]

[That's not the same thing. Spike knows this, knows it as deep as he knows anything. He's never going to mean to her what she means to him. He's reconciled with this. It's why he was willing to do what he did. Because he knew she was strong enough to go on where he wasn't.

But he doesn't want to ruin this, doesn't want to compare notes.]

Promise. Not goin' anywhere without you, without your say so.

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[slayery]

[ It's the same. He just .... okay, well it's not exactly the same, but it's a lot closer than he thinks. He just doesn't understand it because she's not exactly forthcoming with the feely thing... And you know. All the years of wanting each other dead don't help either.]

You're allowed to do your own thing, Spike. Just... Not if it means being permanently gone.

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[idolstolemylook]

That's what I meant. Always done my own thing, you know that. An' you know I'd never leave you. Know I don't need permission to pop down to the pub.

[But he'd ask, he'd gladly ask, if it means she's there to say.]

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[slayery]

[ And now it's time for her to pull back and take a quick, deep breath and smile like nothing's happening. ]

Thank you. [ Yep. Those are words. They came out. ]

So how drunk were you while I was gone?

action ;

[idolstolemylook]

[From her, even 'thank you' sounds like something else.]

How drunk'm I now? [Spike waves a hand vaguely.] Oh. 'member when I came back to Sunny-D an' tried to make Willow do that spell? Yeah. [He blinks. Okay, apparently he's still drunk enough to bring that up.]