Thing is, if I had just lied about my relationship with the Voice, and told her he was a "friend," she'd be totally cool with it-she's really generous about feeding waifs and strays. But I'm terrible at lying about things like that, it makes me feel icky, and, I dunno, this may be misplaced empathy, but I'd hate for my kid (if I had one) to feel he or she had to lie to me about his or her liaisons or life choices.
I'm really kinda surprised how much the whole stupid situation bothers me. I mean, not so much the urging you to focus on the Gentleman (hi!), since he is only around for the weekend, and that makes perfect sense, and sort of was the plan anyway, I thought. It's more the feeling of being refused entry, of being told (indirectly) there is something wrong with what I am doing. Especially the suggestion that I am somehow not treating you right by having the relationship I do with you...
Like I said to you earlier, I never thought, speaking as a straight white dude, that I'd ever be faced with this situation...
And as you said earlier, this too shall pass. I'm just sorry it's happening because you were so happy about Thanksgiving...
Also, now Gramma doesn't get to fire up the grill! This will be disappointing for her too, I wager.
Yeah, I'm disappointed. I was so pleased that I'd have both of you there, and that nobody would have to spend the weekend alone or scrounge an invitation with acquaintances. Of course the Gentleman and I were planning on spending most of the weekend together, and focussing on each other. It's been way too long between visits.
I still haven't replied to her e-mail, because everything I write comes out passive-aggressive, and that's her game. I don't see any reason for me to play it, when 1) it won't accomplish anything, and 2) playing it will only make me like myself less. Nobody wins that game
( ... )
Is there someplace you can invite your grandmother to dinner that wouldn't require her to climb stairs?
I have other thoughts, but they have to do with things like, you don't rescind invitations without really strong reasons, like the host is in the hospital. (By my lights, it would have been more understandable and maybe more justifiable to rescind an invitation because you'd passed one of your loves off as "just a friend" and then she found out that you'd lied about the relationship.)
Oh, I'm livid about the rescinded invite. I'd have been far less upset if she'd simply said on Friday that she wasn't comfortable with inviting both fellas. Then I'd have been able to gracefully not invite the Voice, and promise him a nice dinner, and it would be only a bit awkward. This is decidedly more than a bit awkward
( ... )
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Thing is, if I had just lied about my relationship with the Voice, and told her he was a "friend," she'd be totally cool with it-she's really generous about feeding waifs and strays. But I'm terrible at lying about things like that, it makes me feel icky, and, I dunno, this may be misplaced empathy, but I'd hate for my kid (if I had one) to feel he or she had to lie to me about his or her liaisons or life choices.
Le sigh.
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Like I said to you earlier, I never thought, speaking as a straight white dude, that I'd ever be faced with this situation...
And as you said earlier, this too shall pass. I'm just sorry it's happening because you were so happy about Thanksgiving...
Also, now Gramma doesn't get to fire up the grill! This will be disappointing for her too, I wager.
Save me some turkey,
--Voice
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I still haven't replied to her e-mail, because everything I write comes out passive-aggressive, and that's her game. I don't see any reason for me to play it, when 1) it won't accomplish anything, and 2) playing it will only make me like myself less. Nobody wins that game ( ... )
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I have other thoughts, but they have to do with things like, you don't rescind invitations without really strong reasons, like the host is in the hospital. (By my lights, it would have been more understandable and maybe more justifiable to rescind an invitation because you'd passed one of your loves off as "just a friend" and then she found out that you'd lied about the relationship.)
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