Them

[ziasudra]

Another original writing post. This one contains a bit more mature content than The Man And The Girl, perhaps a bit more social commentating as well.

~485 words, adult-ish content -- though nothing explicit and it's probably PG-13.

Comments

[winnett]

I'm not sure about who THEM is. I do like the story, I love the 'empty reaching into empty' and in the end where she understands Them, but Them is just too abstract.

This is a great 'someone standing outside of a culture watching the culture' story. We see it from another POV and I love that device.

[ziasudra]

I tried to keep the "Them" vague because they don't really correspond to anyone in my mind (for all I know, them and "Them" are really the same group of people). I had half a mind to draw a stronger parallel between what's fictional here and what's been happening in the news (*cough* New York governor *cough*), but thought it might be too tacky.

Thanks for your thoughts! You pointed out the one thing I'm not too satisfied with this story. If only I know how to fix it...