Your Tears >> A Super Junior Fic
Author: zhe01 zhe01.livejournal.com
Title: Your Tears
Challenge: None.
Fandom: Super Junior
Disclaimer: All characters and situations in this story are fictional and are in no way published to change, manipulate or imply any real life resemblance. The plot is, however, owned by the author.
A/N: Fic descriptions and occasionally first chapters are unlocked to mutual friends. This includes one-shots.
Beta credit goes to darkmark_lupin.
Yesung paused. Someone's crying.
"Yun..."
Donghae? He furrowed his brows and strained to understand more of the whispers.
"Sorry... Sorry. Good night."
Donghae clicked the call off and looked at the screen for a while, leaning into the corner of the couch, his free hand around his bent knees against his chest. Seconds later, the screen started blinking. Donghae looked at it then slowly placed the phone on the couch.
Yesung walked towards the kitchen and paused to look at Donghae. "Donghae.. why are you still awake?"
Donghae looked at him. "I was just going back to sleep," Donghae said, wiping his face before standing.
"Is everything ok?"
"Yep," Donghae said, smiling and walking past. "Good night, hyung."
"Your phone-"
"I don't want it."
Yesung watched him disappear into his room then looked at the flashing screen on the phone that was sitting on the couch.
The next day, they were sitting around the table eating breakfast when Leeteuk suddenly spoke, "oh, Donghae, I found your phone this morning. Looks like some people were desperate to reach you last night." He pulled out Donghae's phone from his pocket and gave it to him.
Donghae unlocked the screen and looked at the... 18 missed calls and 23 messages, and blinked. He looked at the missed calls and scrolled down the messages' sender names then just locked the screen and pocketed the phone. "Can I have some of that?" he said, pointing at the pancakes but noticing no one moving. He looked up. "What?"
"Is something wrong?"
"No, why?"
"I don't know, these are a lot of missed calls and messages overnight."
"Fine, I don't want pancakes," he said stabbing at his eggs before standing."I'm full. Going to shower."
Leeteuk finally spoke, "does anyone know what's wrong with him?"
Yesung looked at the cellphone sitting next to the full plate in front of the vacant seat as Donghae walked around the table to leave the room. "I don't want it."
Heechul's phone rang. "Aish!" he exclaimes, making everyone jump, as he checked the caller's ID. "Oh for fuck's sake talk to this idiot before I break this stupid phone!" he yelled, pushing his phone into Donghae's chest as he walked by.
Donghae held the phone to his ear. "Hello?... Oh, hi." Donghae's lips pursed. "No, I'm fine," he said, shortly, "I'm fine," he said, swinging his head in frustration, lips still a thin line. His arm covered his eyes. "I'm fine. I don't need anything and I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU!" he screamed into the phone before tossing it on the table and leaving the dining room. He turned briefly, sniffling. "Don't follow me," he warned, in general, before turning and going to shower.
Heechul dropped his fork and picked up the phone and dialed. "You asshole!" Everyone jumped again. "What did you say to him?!... Wh-huh?... Last night?... Why you?... Oh... Huh?... Is something going on between you two?"
Kangin didn't stop Leeteuk when he went after Donghae, a few seconds later. He jogged through the apartment, looking around, then stopped at the door of the bathroom and frowned. He's crying.
Donghae's gasps, sniffles and sobs came throught he bathroom's door.
He knocked. "Fishy?" he softly called.
"What?"
"Can I come in?"
Silence.
He tried the door and it opened.
Dognhae was sitting on the closed toilet seat, knees bent up and face hidden in between.
He closed the door behind him and stood next to Donghae, running a hand through his hair.
"Want to tell me what's wrong?"
"No."
His hand kept brushing the soft hairs. "Fair enough." He stayed there next to him. "Can I say stuff like it's gonna be ok?"
Donghae hesitated then nodded twice.
"It's gonna be ok, Fishy. I'm here for you."
Slowly, the sniffles returned and Leeteuk found himself an armful of broken Fishy.
"Awh..." He held Donghae's head against him as one hand kept going through his hair. "It's going to be ok, Fishy."
A couple of minutes later, Donghae calmed down to soft sniffles and occasional gasps. "I'm sorry... hyung." He sniffled and wiped his eyes with his hands.
"Come wash your face," Leeteuk said, running the water.
Donghae nodded. When he was done, he was lead out by Leeteuk. "Hyung, my head hurts. I'm going to lie down."
"Ok."
Donghae went to his room and closed the door. His eyes opened to Eunhyuk sitting on the bed, looking at the ground.
"Hyukkie-ah."
Eunhyuk looked up at him, bitterly.
"Hae... Why... Why didn't you tell me?"
"I'm sorry," Donghae said, feeling the pressire in his head pulse through him.
"I... I practically told you I love you twice..."
Donghae went to his bed.
Eunhyuk held his wrist and stopped him.
He looked back to sad eyes.
"I don't care."
Donghae turned to look at him.
"I'm your friend before all else." Eunhyuk stood. "I've been your friend through it all," he said, taking a step closer, "and I'll be your friend now," he said, closing it with a hug as his heart constricted more. "It's ok... it doesn't matter."
Both of them didn't really know if Eunhyuk was talking to Donghae or himself.
Donghae stayed very still, trying his best to stay decently composed.
A while later, Eunhyuk walked out of the room and sat on the couch, exhaling. The only one left was Hankyung.
"It hurts the most when you don't have time to get over it and move on."
"What do you mean?"
He turned to Hankyung. "Before... I didn't have to get over it. There wasn't someone. Now... I don't have a choice." He turned his head to the other side and tried his best not to let the tears welling up in his eyes out.
"It gets easier later, but it doesn't get easy," Hankyung said, still looking at the back of his head. His lips twitched into a frown when Eunhyuk's hand went to his face then came back down, rubbing the fingers dry against each other. He exhaled slowly then went closer to him, wrapping his arms around him. Eunhyuk's head moved and rested against him.
"Aish, I leave for a while and you already have an armful of someone else. You suck," Heechul said, walking through into the kitchen, making them part.
Eunhyuk reached for the remote and started scanning through the channels. His eyes caught a blink and he looked down to Donghae's phone sitting on the coffee table. He took it and stared at the screen.
Mooby
Leeteuk walked into the apartment again. "Everyone, we're leaving in half an hour!" he cried, jogging through to his room. Hankyung and Eunhyuk both stood, Eunhyuk went to his room and Hankyung to his - in the other apartment.
"We're leaving in half an hour, Hae," he said, tossing his top onto his bed.
"I'm going to wait outside."
Eunhyuk looked up and saw him already dressed, clicking on his iPod. "When did you get an iPod?"
"It was a gift."
"Let me see."
Donghae gave him the blue iPod.
"It's the new one!" he said, looking at the camera attached. His eyes fell on the inscription.
MFoiosbhy
His face fell when his brain deciphered it but then he pulled off a smile, flipping it over and looking at what was being played. He gave it back and went back to changing.
Donghae left the room without a word.
"Donghae-ah, you ready?" Leeteuk asked, popping out of his room.
Donghae nodded and peeked at the TV.
"Umma... I thought you left..."
"Aigo, where would I go? And without you?"
"I thought you disappeared!" the child cried, clinging to his mother.
"I'm not going anywhere without you," she said, holding him as he cried.
His eyes fell on his phone, forgotten on the coffee table. He went to check it.
2 Missed Calls
1 Message
He exhaled and checked the message.
Please?
He blinked and looked through the previous messages.
Fishy?
Please answer :<
Donghae, please don't leave me like this.. ;___;
I love you, I'm sorry ♥
Donghae, I was drunk... I know I promised not to...
Please let me explain... I'm sorry
:<
Fishy, please answer.. :'<
Mooby wants to talk to Fishy
Hae?
Please answer me, Hae
:<
I miss you... please answer... let me explain ;__;
"Drunk, huh?" Donghae said, sitting back, "after I told you not to do it."
Just then, the phone's screen blinked an incoming call.
Mooby
"Hello?"
Shuffles and bangs later, a quick, "please don't hang up!" came through. "I didn't expect you to answer so when you did I..." He paused. "I'm sorry."
"I told you not to drink."
"I know. I'm sorry. I regret it."
Donghae tsked once and inhaled, pulling his legs up. "This is the third time you do it."
He kept quiet.
"Don't my requests mean anything to you?"
"My only requests were to not get drunk, not kiss other people and not fuck other people!" Donghae tried to calm his heart and breathing. "You did all three last night - apparently many of each!"
"Hae, I-"
"I HEARD YOU!" Donghae's voice broke as he lost control. "I heard you. You called me by mistake. I wanted to make sure so I called back after a while. When I thought that... maybe I misunderstood, you told me you wanted to sleep instead of talk to me... and that I was annoying... You said... You said..." He sniffled and rubbed his palm against his cheek.
He went silent again.
"Aish!" He rested his head on his hand. "Answer this though... was it JaeJoong-ah?"
Silence.
"It was JaeJoong-ah, wasn't it..." Donghae exhaled. "Are you two together again? Is that it?"
"No!"
"What is it then?"
"Hae... Fish..."
"Jung Yunho, answer me!" Donghae said, punctuating each word, "was it Kim JaeJoong?"
"I was drunk, Hae..."
"I have nothing to say to you."
"Hae-"
"I don't want to talk to you..."
"Hae, please-"
"Or see you..."
"Fishy-"
"I gave you my purest heart... and... you stepped on it." He held the phone away from him as he put his head in his hand against his knees.
Leeteuk hung his head, sighing quietly, as he leaned against the hidden wall with Heechul, Eunhyuk and Shindong standing around him as well. They could all hear Donghae's sobs coming through as he ended the call and dropped the phone to the floor.
Leeteuk checked his watch then looked at the others holding up 10 fingers and mouthing, '10 minutes,' before he waved and nodded towards his room. They walked into the room and he walked in last, hearing Kangin walk into the apartment. When Kangin looked up, he put his finger on his lips. Kangin stopped and looked at him. Leeteuk pointed towards the sitting room, mouthing out, 'Donghae.' Kangin looked between him and where he was pointing. Leeteuk silently screamed and pointed forcefully at Kangin then at the sitting room.
With a silent, 'oooh!' Kangin nodded in realization.
Leeteuk threw his hands in the air, going into the room and closing the door quietly as Kangin went towards the sitting area. He went into the room and sighed, going to sit on his bed.
"So, what now?" Heechul said, poking around stuff.
"Don't play with my things, Heechul-ah-"
Heechul slid the drawer of the bed's table open. "Ooh, what do we have here?"
Leeteuk pushed it shut with his foot. "Heechul!"
"Oh my God, why do you need so many?" Heechul laughed.
Leeteuk covered his face with his hands. "Aigo."
"Hyung, they're at it all night, why do you think?" Eunhyuk replied, shielding himself.
"But, seriously, hyung... how can you walk everyday? I mean-" Shindong burst out laughing in the end as Leeteuk pointed at him accusingly and hit him hard with the pillow.
"I don't always - I'm not always - I also-gyaaaaah!" he cried, smacking at Shindong as Heechul pointed and laughed.
"Seriously, hyung! My innocent ears!" Eunhyuk laughed.
"Innocent, my ass!"
"Not from what I've heard, Teukie," Heechul said.
Leeteuk gasped. "You!"
Meanwhile, in the sitting roon...
Donghae was sitting up, breathing deeply and listening to Kangin talk. He sat on the couch Indian style as Kangin went to bring him paracetamol and a glass of water. When he was back, Donghae took the tablets and drank the water.
"Thank you, hyung," he said, putting the glass back down on the coffee table.
Kangin sat next to him again. "It should start working in a while."
Donghae nodded.
"We should be leaving for the photoshoot soon. Are you going to be ok?"
"Yeah," he whispered.
Kangin put a hand on his shoulder. "Things don't always go like we want them to. You'll find someone, maybe now isn't the time, but you will. You deserve someone beautiful, like you."
"Hyung, is that how you talk to Jungsu-hyung?"
Kangin sat back and blinked. "Eh?"
"You're such a sweet talker. Is that how you keep him?"
Kangin blinked again before chuckling. "We're talking about you now, ok?"
"Hyuuung," Donghae sang, moving closer to Kangin and resting against his arm.
"Aish, why does Jungsu always give me the clingy ones?"
"Hyung!" Donghae complained. "I just had my heart broken... be nice to me," he murmured.
Kangin petted Donghae's hair on his shoulder and held his hands back with his trapped hand. "How long were you two... I mean, no one knew and... you know."
"Three months," Donghae murmured against his arm.
"When did you get to, you know, go out and all?"
"We didn't."
Kangin did not ask further questions.
"We met when they were preparing for their tour sometimes, here and there - after an interview, before a show. That's all."
Kangin nodded.
"Hyung... when can we have our pets back?"
Kangin frowned. They sat in silence a while. "We should call the others and leave now."
Donghae nodded.
The ride to the studios was uneventful. Dongahe sat in a van with Kangin, Eunhyuk, Ryeowook, Shindong and Hankyung, the rest in the other van.
"We should totally get our pets back," Donghae said, when he was sure everyone could hear, including the manager who was sitting next to the driver. "Totally." He pouted, still not looking at anyone. "They're clean and cute. And warm. And cuddley."
"So are the rest of Super Junior. Except they're not loud and they fight less often."
Donghae pouted further and glared at the manager's head before he stuck out his tongue. He eventually gave up, frowned and settled in his seat. "Meh. I forgot my mp3 player."
Eunhyuk removed his hand from hsi pocket and held it out, across Kangin who was sitting between him and Donghae.
Kangin looked at Eunhyuk's extended hand then to Donghae who was looking between it and Eunhyuk. "Aish, take the thing before I throw it out," he chastised.
Donghae took the player and scowled at Kangin. "Thanks, Hyukkie."
"Welcome. You forgot it on the bed."
"Yeah, I left it when I finished charging the new one today... Thanks."
"We are getting lunch first," the manager announced before calling the other van.
Lunch, the photoshoot, the ride back, were all a blurr, and the next thing Donghae knew, they were back, randomly lounging between appartments and beds. He opened the door and walked into his and Eunhyuk's room then closed it, leaning against it. He took a deep breath, attracting Eunhyuk's attention.
"What is it?"
"I know it's selfish of me to ask you this, and I don't really expect of you to do it," he started to say then paused, looking at his feet.
"What do you need?" Eunhyuk said, sitting up.
Donghae's gaze went to him again. "I need you... to take care of me."
Eunhyuk stood, taken back by the request.
"I'm feeling tired and used up... I don't know where anything will go and how it'll end up... but I trust you." He looked down again. "Please, take care of me. I feel like something is cracking-" His eyes widened as he was pulled forward into Eunhyuk's arms.
"Idiot. You don't have to ask."
Although he was shocked at his position, tears had started leaving Donghae's eyes. A few moments later, shock left him and his arms returned the embrace.
"You don't have to ask me to take care of you."
He felt a hand through his hair and closed his eyes.
"Your tears... nothing is worth your tears."
"Hyukkie, why won't anyone stay by my side..." he managed to whisper between sobs, sniffles and gasps. "You won't leave me behind too, right?
Not knowing wither he was happy, sad, despaired or simply tearing apart, but held on. "I'm not going anywere without you."
"I need..." he whispered, trailing off, too tired to talk, feeling his head aching again.
"I'll be anything you want me to be," Eunhyuk whispered back, kissing the back of his head then closing his own eyes as his face twisted in sadness while tears left his own eyes.
Outside, Leeteuk removed his hand from the handle and smiled bittersweetly. He looked up. "Aish. God, what do I do with so many heartached members?" he quietly asked before going to check on the other apartment.
A week later while leaving a HoDong gameshow, Donghae, Eunhyuk, Leeteuk, Yesung and Hankyung were getting ready to leave when Donghae froze near the exit. They paused, a few steps behind him, and looked up.
"Tong fVang Xing Qi," Leeteuk gasped as they were stepping out of their van that was parked in front og Super Junior's.
Jung Yunho and Lee Donghae's eyes met in an almost tangible line. When arms came around him from the back, he remembered to breath again.
Eunhyuk nuzzled his jaw from the back and said, "it's going to be ok."
Donghae glanced at him over his shoulder and smiled brilliantly. "Of course it is," he said, pulling him from his hand and walking out. "Wazoop Tong fVang Xing Qi! How you dooin, man!" he said in awful english that made Leeteuk facepalm as he followed the others out.