[Yamada Ryosuke's Birthday Project] One Wish - First Verse
Title : One Wish
First Verse
Author : rei *me*
Rating : PG-13
Pairing : YamaJima (main) ; TakaYama ; slight!AriYama ; slight!YamaChii
Disclaimer : Everyone knows that HSJ belong to JE. .sadly. .T_T
Summary : There is only one thing I wish I could have...
Warning : Hmm.. Kissing scene ?? Kyaaaa !! This is probably my first boyxboy kissing scene !!! >\\\<
Author's note : OTANJOUBI OMEDETOU MY ICHIGO PRINCE~ XDD This is definitely a fic presented for his birthday~ And though I'm one-day late to post this (cuz yesterday was just too hectic) the moment is still there right~ XDD Well, douzo~
-One Wish ~First Verse-
"It'd been so long, and I still couldn't put up my courage to approach you. Not even saying a simple 'Hello'."
"Ohayou, Yama-chan !"
"Ah, Dai-chan ! Ohayou !" Said Ryosuke as he flashes his dazzling smile.
"Hey, your birthday is next week right ? I really don't know what to give. Is there anything you want right now ?" Daiki asked quietly with a frown on his forehead.
"If only you can give me that, but... how could you ?"
Ryosuke shake his head slowly. "Think about it yourself, will you ? It won't be a surprise otherwise~"
Daiki can only heave a deep sigh. "Yappari. Well, I've decided then ! I'll think about it real carefully by myself ! By the way, Yabu-kun called us already, ikkou !"
Ryosuke laugh lightly as Daiki pull him to practice. But deep inside his heart, he couldn't even smile. The hand that is now holding his hand, just felt so different. He missed the warmth which was always engulfing him in the past. Holding his tears which almost spilled, Ryosuke takes a deep breath before entering JUMP's practice room.
***
"Uwaah ! The rain is so hard ! Though it's spring already !" Yuto shivers as he reaches inside his bag. "Thank God Mom always put an umbrella inside my bag just in case."
Whistling 'Dash' melody, Yuto walks toward Jimusho's exit. He could actually just walk away without taking a single glance toward his surrounding. But Yuto is Yuto, he just couldn't stop himself from moving his eyes around. And this was why his steps were halted and his mind was blanked.
There, at the other side of Jimusho's huge door, stood someone who was always making him felt helpless. Someone who was always making his nights restless. Someone who was always making his day brightless.
"Yama-chan..."
Without realizing it himself, he had already drowned by Ryosuke's figure from where he stood. Yuto watches how Ryosuke's forehead is creasing, how his lips are pouting, how his cheeks are huffing, and how his eyes could only staring out at the rain sadly.
How ironic.
How ironic that it was the rain which brought them to the closeness which was unreplaceable. How ironic that it was also the rain which broke that closeness. And now, it was also the rain which make Yuto realizes, that he missed his Yama-chan badly. Someone who used to be inseparable from him that is now belong to someone else.
Yuto bow his head low to hide the tears that he could no longer held. He just let his misery fall freely for a moment, before he straightening up himself and wipe his tears away. This time he takes a breath to approach Ryosuke to try and fix their broken strings, but he was stopped midway.
Only to stare at Ryosuke's shadow who is walking away under the same umbrella Takaki is in. And now Yuto can feel the old wound within his heart reopened once again.
*FLASHBACK*
"Ryo-chan."
"Hm ?" The called boy turned his attention from the pouring rain to the boy he shared an umbrella with.
"I want a break-up." Said Yuto without a single hesitation in his voice.
"Eh ?" Ryosuke halted in his track and this made Yuto stopped as well to prevent the older boy from getting wet. "You're joking right ?"
Yuto shook his head firmly. "I'm serious Ryo-chan."
Realizing that the younger boy wasn't trying to pulled a prank on him, Ryosuke started to panicked. "But why ?" His voice was just above a whisper, trembling in anticipation.
"I'm tired of us. I don't think we can go together anymore." Explained Yuto coldly.
"But Yuto-kun-" Ryosuke tried his hard to held his tears. "I will do anything ! Everything ! Just please don't leave me ! Please !" He begged the taller boy but Yuto wouldn't budged.
"I'm sorry Yamada." And with that, Yuto just left. Without even caring that the older boy was drenched under the rain without a shelter.
Yuto never knew that Ryosuke stayed still on his spot for hours. Hoping that the younger boy would returned and tell him that he was just joking. Yuto never knew that after hours of waiting, after the rain had stopped pouring, Ryosuke collapsed to the ground, only to be found by Takaki who coincidently passed by and brought him to the nearest hospital.
But Yuto knew that Ryosuke didn't showed up for more than 2 weeks after he cruelly broke up with him the other day. And Yuto knew that it was his fault that Ryosuke caught a bad case of pneumonia and needed to stayed at the hospital for those 2 weeks of his absence.
"He waited for you for hours, goddamnit ! You have the right to break it up with him but be responsible instead of leaving him under the rain just like that ! If ever something happened to him because of that, I will never forgive you ! I won't give a damn anymore !" Takaki shouted at him angrily the next day after their breakup.
And Yuto could only stood still, not saying a word at those painful yells Takaki accused him at. Because he knew, that he was at fault here. Despite all of that, he never came even once to visited Ryosuke. He knew he was a coward for avoiding Ryosuke, but he was afraid. He was afraid what the older reaction will do to him after what he had done to him. Because he didn't want to get hurt. He was selfish, yes, but he just couldn't helped it.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
"And here I am. When I'm trying to make a new start, there's always something which prevent me to do it. Is it far too late to fix my mistakes... ?"
***
"Yama-chan ! Otanjoubi Omedetou !" The nine members of JUMP exclaimed as soon as the newly-18-years-old-boy entered JUMP's room.
"Uwaahh ! Arigatou minna !" Ryosuke smile widely faced with his friends on his birthday.
"Here ! We brought you a special birthday cake for you !" Said the oldest member of JUMP as he pushes the table where the cake is.
"We even asked the Obaa-chan from the cake store to give the cake extra strawberries just for you !" Takaki added while pointing at the strawberries mountain above the cake.
"Uwaahh ! Arigatou Takaki-kun ! Mecha mecha ureshii yo !" Ryosuke run toward the older boy and hugs him tightly.
Ryosuke can feel the older boy tightening the hug and he smiles sadly toward the older boy's kindness. He pulls away from Takaki and give him a gentle smile to see a grin in return. What he cannot see is that there is one of the member who slowly inching away from the group and quietly slipping out of the room.
"Ryosuke~ Come one~ Blow the candles~ I want to eat the cake already~" Chinen whine as he pulls Ryosuke back in front of the huge cake.
Ryosuke just laugh as he let himself being dragged away. "Hai, hai !" Ryosuke takes a deep breath as he prepares himself in front of the cake before he closes his eyes and make a wish. He takes another deep breath before blowing all the 18 candles on his cake.
"YEY !!" Exclaimed the rest of the groups loudly.
"Here, we'll just put our gifts here okay ? Now, let's dig in !" Exclaimed Yabu after he puts the other members gifts beside the couch, followed by some joy yells erupting from the other members as they start cutting the cake and eat it happily.
"Here, a gift from me." Came a whisper from behind Ryosuke which startled the birthday boy.
Turning his body around, Ryosuke pout at his offender. "Mou, Takaki-kun~ You surprised me !"
Takaki laugh as he ruffles the younger boy's hair. "Anyway, this is from me." He said while giving the boy a small neat box.
"Arigatou." Ryosuke smile as he takes the box and start opening it. "I'm going to open the gift okay ?"
"You already did that, didn't you ? So why bother asking ?" Laugh Takaki at the younger's childishness.
"Mou~" Ryosuke pout. But the pout suddenly turned into glittering smile. "Takaki-kun ! Arigatou ! I've been searching this item for so long but they said they didn't sold this anymore !" He hugs the older boy in gratefulness.
"Dou ita shimashite." Takaki pat Ryosuke's head gently. "Now let me put this on you, okay ?"
"Un !" Ryosuke smile as he handed the necklace he just received from Takaki. It is simple actually, with only a simple 'Y' alphabet dangling on it.
"Saa, shall we eat the cake now ?" Offered the older boy which received an excited nod from Ryosuke.
They both holding each other's hands as they walk towards the crowd to get their piece of cake. As they get nearer, Hikaru looks up from his plate and his fingers is moving in the air, as if counting something.
"Anyway, where's Yuto ? He was here this morning." Hikaru asks with a frown.
As if getting a sudden electrical shock, Ryosuke retreated his hand away from Takaki's grip as soon as the words being spoken and put both of his hands in front of his chest while murmuring, "Yuto-kun..."
***
That day passed like a wind to Ryosuke. After the little party they had, Sanche-san came in and start scolding them for slacking off. They apologized and start practicing right away. And that was when Yuto came back from who-knows-where and practicing along as if nothing had happened.
Right after the practice, Ryosuke takes JUMP for another party at the Yakiniku restaurant not too far from Jimusho. Despite being a little down, Ryosuke try his best to smile at his friends. It'd been almost midnight when they finished their second party. Takaki offered him to walk him home since it's too late already, which he accepted nonchalantly. He wanted to be alone, yes, but he just couldn't say no to Takaki's offer.
He could faintly hear Takaki's rantings as they walked home, which he replied by slight nods and smiles here and there. He tries to be as normal as possible, but he knows that he couldn't hide things from the older boy.
"Doushitano Ryo-chan ?" Asked Takaki in the end.
Ryosuke flinch at the nickname from the older boy. Somehow, hearing that nickname being spoken so gently remind him to the bittersweet memories he just wanted to bury deep inside his heart.
"Iie, nandemonai." Ryosuke try to shrug the topic off.
Takaki sigh as he stops walking and grab the younger boy's shoulder and make Ryosuke face him straightly. "I know you have something in mind. You know you can always tell me."
Ryosuke divert his eyes as he contemplating whether to tell the older boy or not. But after some minutes in silence, Ryosuke sigh as he knows that he couldn't hide his true feelings forever.
"Takaki-kun." Ryosuke call out softly.
"Hm ?"
Ryosuke sigh as he try to compose himself. "I... I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing ?" Asked the older boy curiously.
Ryosuke halt in his tracks as he turn to face Takaki. "After all, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't return your feelings. I don't want to hurt you more than I already did, so I guess I should tell you this."
"Ryo-chan..."
"Could you please stop calling me like that ?" Ryosuke beg as he tries hard to hide his tears. "I don't want to be reminded of him anymore. And the way you called me only makes me remember him again and again." At this, the boy has practically crying.
"Ryosuke... Please stop crying." Said Takaki softly as he wipes the tears away. "I understand. You don't have to be worried about me. Since the first time, I know that this time will come somehow, and I am ready to let you go once it did. Just know, that I will always be there when you need a shoulder to lean on. Not as a lover, but as a friend."
Ryosuke look up to see a sincere expression of Takaki. He smiles gently as he wipes his own tears. "Thank you, thank you so much Takaki-kun." He hugs the older boy tight.
"It's alright, really." Takaki laugh a little as he pulls away. "Shall I take you home now ?"
Ryosuke shake his head slowly. "You can just go home. There's someplace I need to go first."
Takaki smile as he ruffles the younger boy's hair. "If you said so. Well, see you."
Ryosuke wave his hands as he watches the older boy's back disappearing in the crowd. Taking a deep breath, Ryosuke start walking the other way. To a place where they shared a lot of memories...
*FLASHBACK*
"Uwah ! This is so beautiful, Yuto-kun !" Exclaimed Ryosuke as he locked his eyes to the scenery in front od him.
"I know, right ? I happened to found this place one day and found it so beautiful ! I couldn't help but to brought you here today !" Yuto explained happily as he wrapped his arms around Ryosuke's waist.
"This is a perfect place to spend our first anniversary !" Squealed the older boy excitedly.
After that, the 2 of them stayed silent for a moment, trying to absorb the beautiful view across them.
"Ne, Ryo-chan."
"Hm ?" Replied Ryosuke as he snuggled more on Yuto's embrace.
"I wanted us to spend our every special times here. Our anniversary, our birthdays, just everything. Only the two of us here." Yuto whispered the words to Ryosuke's ears gently, making the older boy smiled.
Ryosuke turned around as he placed a chaste kiss on his boyfriend's lips. "I'd love to."
He caught Yuto grinning widely as he hugged Ryosuke tight and they just savor each other warmth for a while before Yuto pulled away.
"I love you, Ryo-chan."
"I love you too, Yuto-kun."
And with that, Yuto lean forward and captured Ryosuke's lips with his. He pushed the older boy so he laid down on the ground so they could deepened their kiss under the moonlight.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
"We were happy before." Ryosuke whispers to himself as tears started to fall down his cheek once again. "So why did you leave me ? What did I do wrong ?"
Ryosuke finally broke down as he hugs himself tight and sobbing his heart out. "No matter what I did, I just couldn't forget you, Yuto-kun. And it hurts me badly when I couldn't stop loving you." He sobs more to his own arms. "I miss you. I miss your smiles, I miss your caresses, I miss your hugs, I miss your kisses, I miss everything about you."
Ryosuke look up to the sky and found it empty without a single star shining his already dark life.
"I miss us."
"I miss us too."
A pair of familiar arms snaked down his waist and he can feel a familiar warmth behind his back.
"Yu-Yuto-kun ?"
"I miss you too, Ryo-chan."
'This must be a dream.' Thought Ryosuke as he closes his eyes tight. 'This couldn't be real.'
"I'm sorry that I left you. I was just jealous, and upset, and just out of my mind."
Ryosuke could feel the younger boy's face sniffing his neck like he used to do. 'God, this felt too real.'
"I was jealous, that you got too close with everybody. That you got too many attentions. I was selfish that I just want you for myself only. I was upset, that you started to get far away from me, leaving me behind. That's why I decided to left you, because I was afraid that you will leave me one day. And I don't think I can take that if it ever happened."
A bitter laugh was heard from behind him and somehow, Ryosuke can feel Yuto cry.
"But the truth is, I really couldn't live without you. But I was too much of a coward to confess my true feelings to you, until today."
Ryosuke smiled a sad smile. He knows that this is the only time he can be together with the one he loves like this. So he decided that he will just savour this moment.
"So please, please don't ever leave me !"
Ryosuke lean back and stare at the dark sky. He smiles as he sees a pair of stars showing up above them.
"I never intended to leave you, Yuto-kun, you did." He can feel the hug tightened at this. "I really wish we could be like we used to be."
"You know we can-"
"But this is only a dream. Thank you. This is the sweetest dream I ever had in a while. But I have a real life to walk on. Eventhough I wanted to stay here, I have to wake up from this dream." He said serenely.
"Ryo-chan, what are you- ?"
"Please, stop coming like this. Or else I really couldn't let you go. Please." Ryosuke can feel his tears dripping down once again as he struggles away from the embrace.
But before he could say anything else, he could feel his body being turned and a pair of lips crashed with his. He widened his eyes as he feels the warmth he missed so much, before closing them and deepening the kiss.
'Is this really a dream ?'
After a while, they broke apart, panting for air. Yuto leans forward and press their foreheads together. His hand wiping the tears of the older boy's gently.
"Did the kiss felt like a dream ?" He asks quietly.
Ryosuke smile as he shakes his head slowly, before wrapping his arms around Yuto's waist and snuggling on the younger boy's chest.
"No, this is reality. The kiss was real. You are real."
"So, never leave me ?" Asked the taller boy as he sniffing on Ryosuke's hair.
Ryosuke smile as he bites his lower lip. "I won't. It should be you I asked the question at."
Ryosuke can feel Yuto's lips kissing his head as he mumbles. "No, never again."
~~~~~OWARI~~~~~
ummhh.. sorry for the yucky banner ?? my photoshop is dying on me so i need to use another photo editor which i'm NOT familiar with.. beside, this banner was just finished yesterday so this was kinda rushed~ >o<
and i found myself making up for the tagging.. since i was too lazy to change the previous fic's tags, i'll just make up from this fic on~ *whacked*
well, review is appreciated~
u read, u leave something so i could give u a *chuu* in return~
XDD
First Verse
Author : rei *me*
Rating : PG-13
Pairing : YamaJima (main) ; TakaYama ; slight!AriYama ; slight!YamaChii
Disclaimer : Everyone knows that HSJ belong to JE. .sadly. .T_T
Summary : There is only one thing I wish I could have...
Warning : Hmm.. Kissing scene ?? Kyaaaa !! This is probably my first boyxboy kissing scene !!! >\\\<
Author's note : OTANJOUBI OMEDETOU MY ICHIGO PRINCE~ XDD This is definitely a fic presented for his birthday~ And though I'm one-day late to post this (cuz yesterday was just too hectic) the moment is still there right~ XDD Well, douzo~
-One Wish ~First Verse-
"It'd been so long, and I still couldn't put up my courage to approach you. Not even saying a simple 'Hello'."
"Ohayou, Yama-chan !"
"Ah, Dai-chan ! Ohayou !" Said Ryosuke as he flashes his dazzling smile.
"Hey, your birthday is next week right ? I really don't know what to give. Is there anything you want right now ?" Daiki asked quietly with a frown on his forehead.
"If only you can give me that, but... how could you ?"
Ryosuke shake his head slowly. "Think about it yourself, will you ? It won't be a surprise otherwise~"
Daiki can only heave a deep sigh. "Yappari. Well, I've decided then ! I'll think about it real carefully by myself ! By the way, Yabu-kun called us already, ikkou !"
Ryosuke laugh lightly as Daiki pull him to practice. But deep inside his heart, he couldn't even smile. The hand that is now holding his hand, just felt so different. He missed the warmth which was always engulfing him in the past. Holding his tears which almost spilled, Ryosuke takes a deep breath before entering JUMP's practice room.
***
"Uwaah ! The rain is so hard ! Though it's spring already !" Yuto shivers as he reaches inside his bag. "Thank God Mom always put an umbrella inside my bag just in case."
Whistling 'Dash' melody, Yuto walks toward Jimusho's exit. He could actually just walk away without taking a single glance toward his surrounding. But Yuto is Yuto, he just couldn't stop himself from moving his eyes around. And this was why his steps were halted and his mind was blanked.
There, at the other side of Jimusho's huge door, stood someone who was always making him felt helpless. Someone who was always making his nights restless. Someone who was always making his day brightless.
"Yama-chan..."
Without realizing it himself, he had already drowned by Ryosuke's figure from where he stood. Yuto watches how Ryosuke's forehead is creasing, how his lips are pouting, how his cheeks are huffing, and how his eyes could only staring out at the rain sadly.
How ironic.
How ironic that it was the rain which brought them to the closeness which was unreplaceable. How ironic that it was also the rain which broke that closeness. And now, it was also the rain which make Yuto realizes, that he missed his Yama-chan badly. Someone who used to be inseparable from him that is now belong to someone else.
Yuto bow his head low to hide the tears that he could no longer held. He just let his misery fall freely for a moment, before he straightening up himself and wipe his tears away. This time he takes a breath to approach Ryosuke to try and fix their broken strings, but he was stopped midway.
Only to stare at Ryosuke's shadow who is walking away under the same umbrella Takaki is in. And now Yuto can feel the old wound within his heart reopened once again.
*FLASHBACK*
"Ryo-chan."
"Hm ?" The called boy turned his attention from the pouring rain to the boy he shared an umbrella with.
"I want a break-up." Said Yuto without a single hesitation in his voice.
"Eh ?" Ryosuke halted in his track and this made Yuto stopped as well to prevent the older boy from getting wet. "You're joking right ?"
Yuto shook his head firmly. "I'm serious Ryo-chan."
Realizing that the younger boy wasn't trying to pulled a prank on him, Ryosuke started to panicked. "But why ?" His voice was just above a whisper, trembling in anticipation.
"I'm tired of us. I don't think we can go together anymore." Explained Yuto coldly.
"But Yuto-kun-" Ryosuke tried his hard to held his tears. "I will do anything ! Everything ! Just please don't leave me ! Please !" He begged the taller boy but Yuto wouldn't budged.
"I'm sorry Yamada." And with that, Yuto just left. Without even caring that the older boy was drenched under the rain without a shelter.
Yuto never knew that Ryosuke stayed still on his spot for hours. Hoping that the younger boy would returned and tell him that he was just joking. Yuto never knew that after hours of waiting, after the rain had stopped pouring, Ryosuke collapsed to the ground, only to be found by Takaki who coincidently passed by and brought him to the nearest hospital.
But Yuto knew that Ryosuke didn't showed up for more than 2 weeks after he cruelly broke up with him the other day. And Yuto knew that it was his fault that Ryosuke caught a bad case of pneumonia and needed to stayed at the hospital for those 2 weeks of his absence.
"He waited for you for hours, goddamnit ! You have the right to break it up with him but be responsible instead of leaving him under the rain just like that ! If ever something happened to him because of that, I will never forgive you ! I won't give a damn anymore !" Takaki shouted at him angrily the next day after their breakup.
And Yuto could only stood still, not saying a word at those painful yells Takaki accused him at. Because he knew, that he was at fault here. Despite all of that, he never came even once to visited Ryosuke. He knew he was a coward for avoiding Ryosuke, but he was afraid. He was afraid what the older reaction will do to him after what he had done to him. Because he didn't want to get hurt. He was selfish, yes, but he just couldn't helped it.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
"And here I am. When I'm trying to make a new start, there's always something which prevent me to do it. Is it far too late to fix my mistakes... ?"
***
"Yama-chan ! Otanjoubi Omedetou !" The nine members of JUMP exclaimed as soon as the newly-18-years-old-boy entered JUMP's room.
"Uwaahh ! Arigatou minna !" Ryosuke smile widely faced with his friends on his birthday.
"Here ! We brought you a special birthday cake for you !" Said the oldest member of JUMP as he pushes the table where the cake is.
"We even asked the Obaa-chan from the cake store to give the cake extra strawberries just for you !" Takaki added while pointing at the strawberries mountain above the cake.
"Uwaahh ! Arigatou Takaki-kun ! Mecha mecha ureshii yo !" Ryosuke run toward the older boy and hugs him tightly.
Ryosuke can feel the older boy tightening the hug and he smiles sadly toward the older boy's kindness. He pulls away from Takaki and give him a gentle smile to see a grin in return. What he cannot see is that there is one of the member who slowly inching away from the group and quietly slipping out of the room.
"Ryosuke~ Come one~ Blow the candles~ I want to eat the cake already~" Chinen whine as he pulls Ryosuke back in front of the huge cake.
Ryosuke just laugh as he let himself being dragged away. "Hai, hai !" Ryosuke takes a deep breath as he prepares himself in front of the cake before he closes his eyes and make a wish. He takes another deep breath before blowing all the 18 candles on his cake.
"YEY !!" Exclaimed the rest of the groups loudly.
"Here, we'll just put our gifts here okay ? Now, let's dig in !" Exclaimed Yabu after he puts the other members gifts beside the couch, followed by some joy yells erupting from the other members as they start cutting the cake and eat it happily.
"Here, a gift from me." Came a whisper from behind Ryosuke which startled the birthday boy.
Turning his body around, Ryosuke pout at his offender. "Mou, Takaki-kun~ You surprised me !"
Takaki laugh as he ruffles the younger boy's hair. "Anyway, this is from me." He said while giving the boy a small neat box.
"Arigatou." Ryosuke smile as he takes the box and start opening it. "I'm going to open the gift okay ?"
"You already did that, didn't you ? So why bother asking ?" Laugh Takaki at the younger's childishness.
"Mou~" Ryosuke pout. But the pout suddenly turned into glittering smile. "Takaki-kun ! Arigatou ! I've been searching this item for so long but they said they didn't sold this anymore !" He hugs the older boy in gratefulness.
"Dou ita shimashite." Takaki pat Ryosuke's head gently. "Now let me put this on you, okay ?"
"Un !" Ryosuke smile as he handed the necklace he just received from Takaki. It is simple actually, with only a simple 'Y' alphabet dangling on it.
"Saa, shall we eat the cake now ?" Offered the older boy which received an excited nod from Ryosuke.
They both holding each other's hands as they walk towards the crowd to get their piece of cake. As they get nearer, Hikaru looks up from his plate and his fingers is moving in the air, as if counting something.
"Anyway, where's Yuto ? He was here this morning." Hikaru asks with a frown.
As if getting a sudden electrical shock, Ryosuke retreated his hand away from Takaki's grip as soon as the words being spoken and put both of his hands in front of his chest while murmuring, "Yuto-kun..."
***
That day passed like a wind to Ryosuke. After the little party they had, Sanche-san came in and start scolding them for slacking off. They apologized and start practicing right away. And that was when Yuto came back from who-knows-where and practicing along as if nothing had happened.
Right after the practice, Ryosuke takes JUMP for another party at the Yakiniku restaurant not too far from Jimusho. Despite being a little down, Ryosuke try his best to smile at his friends. It'd been almost midnight when they finished their second party. Takaki offered him to walk him home since it's too late already, which he accepted nonchalantly. He wanted to be alone, yes, but he just couldn't say no to Takaki's offer.
He could faintly hear Takaki's rantings as they walked home, which he replied by slight nods and smiles here and there. He tries to be as normal as possible, but he knows that he couldn't hide things from the older boy.
"Doushitano Ryo-chan ?" Asked Takaki in the end.
Ryosuke flinch at the nickname from the older boy. Somehow, hearing that nickname being spoken so gently remind him to the bittersweet memories he just wanted to bury deep inside his heart.
"Iie, nandemonai." Ryosuke try to shrug the topic off.
Takaki sigh as he stops walking and grab the younger boy's shoulder and make Ryosuke face him straightly. "I know you have something in mind. You know you can always tell me."
Ryosuke divert his eyes as he contemplating whether to tell the older boy or not. But after some minutes in silence, Ryosuke sigh as he knows that he couldn't hide his true feelings forever.
"Takaki-kun." Ryosuke call out softly.
"Hm ?"
Ryosuke sigh as he try to compose himself. "I... I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing ?" Asked the older boy curiously.
Ryosuke halt in his tracks as he turn to face Takaki. "After all, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't return your feelings. I don't want to hurt you more than I already did, so I guess I should tell you this."
"Ryo-chan..."
"Could you please stop calling me like that ?" Ryosuke beg as he tries hard to hide his tears. "I don't want to be reminded of him anymore. And the way you called me only makes me remember him again and again." At this, the boy has practically crying.
"Ryosuke... Please stop crying." Said Takaki softly as he wipes the tears away. "I understand. You don't have to be worried about me. Since the first time, I know that this time will come somehow, and I am ready to let you go once it did. Just know, that I will always be there when you need a shoulder to lean on. Not as a lover, but as a friend."
Ryosuke look up to see a sincere expression of Takaki. He smiles gently as he wipes his own tears. "Thank you, thank you so much Takaki-kun." He hugs the older boy tight.
"It's alright, really." Takaki laugh a little as he pulls away. "Shall I take you home now ?"
Ryosuke shake his head slowly. "You can just go home. There's someplace I need to go first."
Takaki smile as he ruffles the younger boy's hair. "If you said so. Well, see you."
Ryosuke wave his hands as he watches the older boy's back disappearing in the crowd. Taking a deep breath, Ryosuke start walking the other way. To a place where they shared a lot of memories...
*FLASHBACK*
"Uwah ! This is so beautiful, Yuto-kun !" Exclaimed Ryosuke as he locked his eyes to the scenery in front od him.
"I know, right ? I happened to found this place one day and found it so beautiful ! I couldn't help but to brought you here today !" Yuto explained happily as he wrapped his arms around Ryosuke's waist.
"This is a perfect place to spend our first anniversary !" Squealed the older boy excitedly.
After that, the 2 of them stayed silent for a moment, trying to absorb the beautiful view across them.
"Ne, Ryo-chan."
"Hm ?" Replied Ryosuke as he snuggled more on Yuto's embrace.
"I wanted us to spend our every special times here. Our anniversary, our birthdays, just everything. Only the two of us here." Yuto whispered the words to Ryosuke's ears gently, making the older boy smiled.
Ryosuke turned around as he placed a chaste kiss on his boyfriend's lips. "I'd love to."
He caught Yuto grinning widely as he hugged Ryosuke tight and they just savor each other warmth for a while before Yuto pulled away.
"I love you, Ryo-chan."
"I love you too, Yuto-kun."
And with that, Yuto lean forward and captured Ryosuke's lips with his. He pushed the older boy so he laid down on the ground so they could deepened their kiss under the moonlight.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
"We were happy before." Ryosuke whispers to himself as tears started to fall down his cheek once again. "So why did you leave me ? What did I do wrong ?"
Ryosuke finally broke down as he hugs himself tight and sobbing his heart out. "No matter what I did, I just couldn't forget you, Yuto-kun. And it hurts me badly when I couldn't stop loving you." He sobs more to his own arms. "I miss you. I miss your smiles, I miss your caresses, I miss your hugs, I miss your kisses, I miss everything about you."
Ryosuke look up to the sky and found it empty without a single star shining his already dark life.
"I miss us."
"I miss us too."
A pair of familiar arms snaked down his waist and he can feel a familiar warmth behind his back.
"Yu-Yuto-kun ?"
"I miss you too, Ryo-chan."
'This must be a dream.' Thought Ryosuke as he closes his eyes tight. 'This couldn't be real.'
"I'm sorry that I left you. I was just jealous, and upset, and just out of my mind."
Ryosuke could feel the younger boy's face sniffing his neck like he used to do. 'God, this felt too real.'
"I was jealous, that you got too close with everybody. That you got too many attentions. I was selfish that I just want you for myself only. I was upset, that you started to get far away from me, leaving me behind. That's why I decided to left you, because I was afraid that you will leave me one day. And I don't think I can take that if it ever happened."
A bitter laugh was heard from behind him and somehow, Ryosuke can feel Yuto cry.
"But the truth is, I really couldn't live without you. But I was too much of a coward to confess my true feelings to you, until today."
Ryosuke smiled a sad smile. He knows that this is the only time he can be together with the one he loves like this. So he decided that he will just savour this moment.
"So please, please don't ever leave me !"
Ryosuke lean back and stare at the dark sky. He smiles as he sees a pair of stars showing up above them.
"I never intended to leave you, Yuto-kun, you did." He can feel the hug tightened at this. "I really wish we could be like we used to be."
"You know we can-"
"But this is only a dream. Thank you. This is the sweetest dream I ever had in a while. But I have a real life to walk on. Eventhough I wanted to stay here, I have to wake up from this dream." He said serenely.
"Ryo-chan, what are you- ?"
"Please, stop coming like this. Or else I really couldn't let you go. Please." Ryosuke can feel his tears dripping down once again as he struggles away from the embrace.
But before he could say anything else, he could feel his body being turned and a pair of lips crashed with his. He widened his eyes as he feels the warmth he missed so much, before closing them and deepening the kiss.
'Is this really a dream ?'
After a while, they broke apart, panting for air. Yuto leans forward and press their foreheads together. His hand wiping the tears of the older boy's gently.
"Did the kiss felt like a dream ?" He asks quietly.
Ryosuke smile as he shakes his head slowly, before wrapping his arms around Yuto's waist and snuggling on the younger boy's chest.
"No, this is reality. The kiss was real. You are real."
"So, never leave me ?" Asked the taller boy as he sniffing on Ryosuke's hair.
Ryosuke smile as he bites his lower lip. "I won't. It should be you I asked the question at."
Ryosuke can feel Yuto's lips kissing his head as he mumbles. "No, never again."
~~~~~OWARI~~~~~
ummhh.. sorry for the yucky banner ?? my photoshop is dying on me so i need to use another photo editor which i'm NOT familiar with.. beside, this banner was just finished yesterday so this was kinda rushed~ >o<
and i found myself making up for the tagging.. since i was too lazy to change the previous fic's tags, i'll just make up from this fic on~ *whacked*
well, review is appreciated~
u read, u leave something so i could give u a *chuu* in return~
XDD