Oh gosh... never been in your situations, so I'm not sure what to say...
I think the temptation to continue being intimate with him must be very strong. BUT, you have to realize that you are at a disadvantage here, and being a girl, I think you are much more likely to get hurt from this 'intimate but not serious' relationship. You'll always hope that he'll want to get back with you while he can 'use' you as long as you still have feelings for him. In the short term, I'm sure you'll enjoy whatever scraps of affection he spares you, but in the long term, it is likely to wreck havoc with your self-esteem.
I personally thing the best thing to do is to be friends, but NOT cuddle, kiss, spend the night. He's the one who decided that you guys should be friends, he can't eat his cake and have it too...!
*sigh* its SO true and the thing is he told me I wanted MY cake and wanted to eat it too and I KNOW by having sex with him I'm enabling to have HIS.....and everything you said is so true, he will be feeding me scraps while in search of something "better" I know myself and know no matter WHAT we do or dont do this is going to end up hurting me badly....i hate that guys move on so easily and seem unaffected by things
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You know I love you baby, but please don't be anyone's late night booty call!!!! I know you still love him, but if he's not returning the same feelings then isn't that more or less being used? I mean WTF, man up already! Him not you! Friends with benefits just doesn't work, and I don't care how much anyone tries to rationalize it! If he wants you as much as you want him, then he needs to stand up and fight for you, no matter what he'll make the relationship work if your the one he wants to be with!
I know you are absolutely right but he just told me today he has the same feelings for me and still loves me but hes worried we arent compatible enough. I believe what he says and dont want to lose him and he wont use me thats for sure hes not the type but im afraid i might give in.... we'll see what happens im pretty torn up inside.
boys are stupid. kyle pulled this crap too. he will come to realize that you are the one he wants the day you realize you don't need him anymore. it sucks but that is what boys do.
remember that being dragged through the mud is not fun and you may come out clean in the end but you will sure as hell be bitter about it.
it will be a new challenge to work through. boys need to remember that relationships take work. the world is not perfect.
by the way... are you working today? please say no. i am back in va and staying with kyle's dad and stepmom. please save me!!!!!
Here is the thing though...boys don't remember that relationships take work. They think it's supposed to be easy all the time and be smooth and free sailing and one bump in the road throws them so far off the road that they think everything is wrong and cant be fixed. We don't have issues serious enough for this to be happening so im really broken right now. it's hard for me to breath when i think about him i feel my heart break.... i hate EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW! and yes i am working but then again i just text you that i really hope you can find an escape lol! Maybe we will see eachother somehow tonight...i was gonna go to Artomatic with Arthur and Lori and tabby but Brendon is going so I don't think I'm going out that way anymore. I don't have it in me to see him I know I'll be upset.
Everything that everyone has commented is so true. And yes, the moment he's in his worst hour and wishes you were back is when you'll realize you don't need him anymore. :/ Personally I'm trying the whole "let's still be friends" thing right now.. even though I used to be married to the guy. I can tell you, even though I try my hardest to be nice to him... there is still this black ball of angry hate and bitterness inside me and I have to really restrain myself as not to let it out when dealing with him, and that's not how friends should be. He also had some other girl come live with him right after me though, told me he didn't ever think we were meant to be even though we got married, and basically that he didn't feel I really loved him, even though I'd proved it a number of times
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Thanks for telling me this. I appreciate what everyone has said and because of this decided to tell him it's best we don't see eachother for now.... I feel like if we saw eachother we'd both feel sad and he may change his mind and as much as I want that, I also don't want to be strung along and have him flip flop 4 days later when he realises he lived in the moment and takes it back....
He told me yest he missed me terribly and he's sad and can't concentrate on anything, maybe he does really love me and this is hard for him too and its making him really think about things. I want him to change his mind because he WANTS to be with me but not because of anything else. I'm a mess.....
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I think the temptation to continue being intimate with him must be very strong. BUT, you have to realize that you are at a disadvantage here, and being a girl, I think you are much more likely to get hurt from this 'intimate but not serious' relationship. You'll always hope that he'll want to get back with you while he can 'use' you as long as you still have feelings for him. In the short term, I'm sure you'll enjoy whatever scraps of affection he spares you, but in the long term, it is likely to wreck havoc with your self-esteem.
I personally thing the best thing to do is to be friends, but NOT cuddle, kiss, spend the night. He's the one who decided that you guys should be friends, he can't eat his cake and have it too...!
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I know you still love him, but if he's not returning the same feelings then isn't that more or less being used? I mean WTF, man up already! Him not you!
Friends with benefits just doesn't work, and I don't care how much anyone tries to rationalize it! If he wants you as much as you want him, then he needs to stand up and fight for you, no matter what he'll make the relationship work if your the one he wants to be with!
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remember that being dragged through the mud is not fun and you may come out clean in the end but you will sure as hell be bitter about it.
it will be a new challenge to work through. boys need to remember that relationships take work. the world is not perfect.
by the way... are you working today? please say no. i am back in va and staying with kyle's dad and stepmom. please save me!!!!!
Reply
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Reply
He told me yest he missed me terribly and he's sad and can't concentrate on anything, maybe he does really love me and this is hard for him too and its making him really think about things. I want him to change his mind because he WANTS to be with me but not because of anything else. I'm a mess.....
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