Princess of Snow - Part 5
Title: Princess of Snow (5/6)
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Allusions to Fai's past in canon events
Notice: AU, female!Kurogane and female!Fai
Summary: Fai always had one simple wish, a wish that Kurogane may be able to grant.
Author's Note: So, I pretty much am a derp and instead of having this be done in five chapters, it's going to be six. Apologies, but the conclusion will be next for sure. Many thanks to youkohiei-fan, chilly-3x4, and srsly-smrt for their feedback and support.
The ancient language I used for Fai's spells are completely made up.
Chapter 5 - Pathway to Salvation
She was chilled to her bones, but her suffocating lungs felt as if they were bursting from flames. No longer were there only images of fire and the sensations of smokes clouding her head and seeping into her eyes, nose and mouth; there were also cold air rattling in her chest, coldness pinpricking on her skins like needles that send her nerves on fire. The combination of fire and ice was becoming so excruciatingly painful that she just wanted to die just so she didn’t have to feel this or feel anything anymore. The haunting cries of that mysterious woman returned, and right in front of her eyes the voice paved way to an image of a lady with long, black hair and fiery red eyes. She was tending to her burns, and her tears served as healing water. Drip, drip they went, and soon the enigmatic ember spirit morphed gradually into a pool of water.
The surface turned icy, but it immediately cracked and soon another feminine figure emerged. This time she had flowing golden hair and frosty blue eyes that looked so familiar. A diadem made out of ice encircled her forehead, creating a beautiful, ethereal effect. She smiled and extended her arms, sweeping robes spilling to the dark floor below them.
“Come, I must show you something,” the snow spirit said in her soft, airy voice. The pacifying offer was so soothing that she immediately accepted it. As soon as her hands touched those of the spirit, her pain started to alleviate, but all was yet to be over…
Snow…
Snow was all she was seeing and they were falling from the vast gray sky. Droplets of them swirled gracefully and softly until they landed on the surface. None of them touched her skin at all (because she knew this wasn’t real, and yet, where exactly was she taken?) She then shifted her attention to the ground that was made with cobblestones, blanketed with powder, followed with the grand building rising in front of her. There were turrets with icicles dangling from the windowpanes and smoke rose from many chimneys stacked on top. It didn’t take her long to understand that this was a castle as she stood there marveling at the dark, grand entrance in awe.
Suddenly she heard laughter coming down from the hall, and right in front of her eyes a child no older than the age of five or six was running right close to where she was standing. When she got a better inspection of the child, she had a double take.
The girl had hair as brilliant as the sun and her eyes were crystal blue. She was dressed in a thick white dress adorned with blue intricate patterns, and when the girl smiled she was instantly reminded of her. (But could it be?) Snow landed on her and the girl laughed once more, snowflakes dancing off of her golden eyelashes. She threw out her arms and twirled and twirled, spinning herself in a circle endlessly. Her cheeks were already turning so pink from the cold, but it was so clear that she was as happy as could be.
“O’ sweet child, where are you?”
The girl stopped in her track. “Over here, Mother!”
She followed the child’s attention back to the entrance as well and saw another person heading towards their way. Her mother revealed herself at last, and it was striking how much her child resembled her. Golden hair reached past her waist and a diadem made out of ice crowned her head. She resembled the first snow spirit the general had encountered earlier, except she was not aware of her presence. So this must be the Queen of Snow, she realized.
“You shouldn’t be outside on your own,” the queen chastised, sighing but still smiling in good patience.
“I know,” her daughter said, “but it started snowing and I had to see it.”
“But my child, you already know that it snows a lot. There is no need to run outside to greet it without royal supervision.”
The princess pouted and whined, “But Mother, you know it makes me happy.”
She wondered how the child could get away with treating her mother, let alone the queen, like that. To her surprise, the queen laughed and bent down to brush snow from her daughter’s sun-silk hair.
“Of course, sweet child,” she said, and the girl smiled back. “When the snow falls in our kingdom, the people and the spirits are always happy and grateful, knowing that the balance is still there. And that is why our beloved land will always flourish, my dearest Fai.”
Those bright and prosperous days were too good to last forever.
News of the fall of the neighboring Kingdom of Ember had reached the castle. The queen had turned pale upon hearing the words. The crusaders of modern civilization and warfare were reputed to be powerful and unpredictable, and if the kingdom who was known to produce the finest of warriors even amongst the nobility had succumbed to the enemies, then it could only mean that the Kingdom of Snow would be next. Rumors had it that one of the King of Ember’s daughters had fled from the kingdom, but the queen had seen to it that the same fate would not happen for the sake of her child. With her head held high, she summoned a meeting with the court and the captain of the knights to map out a quick defense strategy in preparation for a war.
A young one like Fai should not have known about this so soon, but since she was the crown princess her mother had no other choice but to tell her the grave situation their people and the kingdom were about to encounter. Although the reigning monarch had the highest power when it came to the sacred connection to the cold element, Fai was the sole heir and had much, much potential to be even more powerful than her mother. Her vulnerability was at an all high level, and it was agreed that no matter what happened, her life must not be taken whatsoever.
From then on Princess Fai had no choice but to remain in the confines of the castle, removed from the rest of the kingdom. As the only royal child Fai was naturally lonely. Her favorite spot was the vast library, and her new friends were books. She read on many subjects, especially the histories of the neighboring kingdoms. All hopes of leaving the place someday, even for just diplomatic visits were gone, and so she treasured the tales and the legends to fulfill her fantasies and childish whims. One of the books she encountered were ladled with ancient texts, and after fruitlessly spending hours and hours consulting the translation book, Fai learned that those texts were spells, spells that no one in the royal family had used for years. When no one was carefully watching, the princess would practice them, using her fingers to trace in the air while speaking in her people’s ancient native tongue.
The first thing she learned was how to make a creature for a new friend. It didn’t last long, but it was a start.
In the end, the queen had decided to use her royal powers to manipulate the element. She channeled the snow and wind into terrifying blizzards, surrounding the perimeters of the kingdom with them so that no outsiders and enemies could enter the land. Only pure and true, strong magic could penetrate the defenses, and with reports that the invaders had no such powers, there were still hope that the queen could keep her kingdom at bay from total destruction. It wasn’t the ideal decision, but it was the unfortunate circumstances that had led to this as the last resort.
The entire Kingdom of Snow was then shut away from the rest of the world as the ongoing battle between the ancient ways and that of the new pressed on, but the somber knowledge that the sealing would only impede, and not truly prevent, from imminent destruction loomed in the hearts and mind of Queen Elda and her people.
Days, months, and then soon years passed by as the people of snow continued living their lives as best as they could. Security was of course fortified, both around the castle and at the borders of the great kingdom. Children no longer had the same carefree freedom to roam and play about outside and everybody took great care to remain indoors as soon as the sun set down.
Such way of living in guarded manners was nothing new to the princess, who was still bound within the castle grounds. When Fai was not tending to her lessons or other royal duties she would still shut herself in the libraries, scrambling eagerly through more textbooks and discerning archaic language and spells. With practice over the years Fai knew she was progressing very well in the magic of her ancestors. Even though the royal family no longer practiced them, the young princess found joy in it. A part of it stemmed from her sincere hope that one day, with her chances of becoming more powerful than her mother could ever be, she would be able to use these difficult magic to save her kingdom for good and bring back peace and hope.
One day, when a brutal blizzard was blowing through the land, Fai found a tattered book hidden behind many books. It was covered in so much dust that she concluded it had to be abandoned for quite some amount of time. She carefully opened it, peeling page after page until it landed on one with lots of scrawled notes. Pulling a waning candle closer towards the text, she read it, eager and hopeful to test out another spell. A more powerful spell that could manipulate the winds and the currents and even blizzards for days on ends, more powerful and enduring than the current arts the queen had been enforcing.
Heart beating fast, Fai lifted a finger.
Ineh forze
dalai toh
She traced a circle while still keeping her eyes glued to the incantation, the ink so old that it was nearly fading.
Preyearth amas
sundrith moh
Suddenly, a strong gust of wind ushered forth from her. It was so fierce that she fell back. The pages on the old textbook flipped violently and closed shut, the shelves rattled, and the surrounding windows shook. Outside the blizzard began moving erratically even more so, until something peculiar caught her eyes as Fai struggled to hold onto the windowpanes.
A path was being carved out, one so smooth and visible that anyone who were daring and brave enough could try to venture on it. Blue eyes widened in wonder, and Fai knew, just knew that this had to be of her doing.
Her time of reverie and awe was interrupted as she heard yells and cries from court people and soldiers outside of the library. Soon the door burst open and her mother, the advisor, and scores of knights came in, surrounding her. Fai wondered what all the commotion was about, but as soon as she looked at her mother and saw how pale she looked, everything around her felt cold.
“My child,” Elda cried out, wrapping her arms protectively around Fai, “thank goodness you are alright.”
“Mother!” Fai was suddenly afraid, but she knew she needed to know. “Whatever is the matter?”
The queen’s face twisted in agony. Her lips grew thinner as she quickly eyed everyone else around them, before addressing her daughter again. She blinked to hold back tears and finally answered, but her voice was so quiet that Fai could barely hear her despair.
“The worst has come,” she said. “The barriers have broken, and our kingdom is now being invaded.”
“No…” Fai brought her hands up to her cheeks. “No, it can’t be…”
Her mother then brought her close and held her tight, and Fai reluctantly let her be comforted. Although Fai was devastated just as much as everyone else, the most horrible feeling possessed her. She knew - she just knew it was whatever she had just done that had destroyed the barrier.
And now, the fates of the people and the kingdom were doomed at the very hands of their Princess of Snow.
Catching on fire was one of the worst and torturous ways to die, slow and agonizing. That was the cruel fates for many people of the neighboring Kingdom of Ember when the connection broke and the nation slowly became one large, inhabitable molten pit. The same could be said for freezing to death.
That was, if the interlopers hadn’t gotten to them already or they were one of the fortunate few souls to flee the borders.
The restless troops waiting outside seized the opportunity to raid the outskirts of the kingdom. With the unexpected and ill-fating collapse of the queen’s barrier, the people along the perimeters were quickly decimated. No mercy was given as houses were burned, crops and land stock were destroyed, and scores of men, women and children were slaughtered. Blankets of snow were soon covered in red, laces of blood and ashes left behind to taint the most precious element that the natives revered. Death quickly befouled the kingdom, and as both the people and snow were affected, the delicate balance between the elements and humans was now on the brink of destruction.
Because several fine soldiers from the castle were amongst the casualties, peasant men were quickly drafted to assist in the warfare on the home front. For some they took their new roles with grim acceptance and for others they were unhappy with the prospect of fueling the poison that would soon pave way to destroy and corrupt their very own minds. Life beget life and death beget death. The people revered nature and nature thrived on the people. But now the very nature was being destroyed all in the name of the reckless drive towards modern civilization, away from the ancient ways of living in front of Fai’s eyes.
The air started to change for the worse. Snow wouldn’t stop falling and bitter wind howled incessantly, bringing pockets of frigid, cold air for long periods of time that crops that hadn’t been already destroyed by the outsiders would perish. Blizzards no longer followed a seasonal pattern. The chaos resulted in more cold spells, more unexpected illnesses - and in the pandemic spreading throughout the regions the people began to drop dead in the masses before anything could be done. Nothing could be done. The balance was now upset, had been tipped over, and now the snow natives were in danger of succumbing to fatal stages of hypothermia even in the comforts of their insulated homes. The domino effect soon became brutal. The more the climate became harsh, the more people die, and the more that die, the more unstable the snow acclimated.
With the war escalating and the invaders treading ever closer to the castle, it was nigh time that Elda personally saw to it to teach her daughter and heir the more recent ways to master manipulating the snow. The queen’s own life force was slowly chipping away at a dangerous pace, for as the reigning monarch, the spirits of the people and the element depended on her to uphold the forces for as long as she could as to not have the kingdom collapse completely. Therefore it was important that the princess strengthened her power to help protect their people to the best of her ability, and Fai gladly did so.
Ever since the horrible realization of her own actions leading to these devastating affairs and mass tragedies that afflicted her very own people, the Princess of Snow couldn’t bring it upon herself to confess her own grave mistakes to her mother. Instead, Fai stayed away from the library, refusing to ever open another stale book pressed in dusty corners and bookshelves or even enter the room. But in her heart, nothing could ever fully atone for the consequences of her childish practices.
Nothing could sway her painful remorse anymore when her mother died after using up the last of her energy to keep the elements at bay. At the age of fourteen, the entire future of the kingdom laid on the shoulders of Princess Fai.
Several years had passed and it showed.
Fai was no longer a girl, and now as a woman who had full authority she was tending to an audience. Signs of stress and age were showing. Her hair was significantly longer and thinner, the color slowly turning paler much like her complexion. There was a frown on her face as she listened to a citizen speaking. The man was livid, articulating his own needs and concerns with his hands. He was wearing frayed gloves. Patches of fabric had been heavily worn off that bits of his fingers were exposed and they were solid black. Fai nodded her head here and there while a court scribe next to her scribbled away, hastily, with the thick woolen gloves he luxuriously wore. All faces in the princess’ audience were pale and grim; some even looked sickly. It was clear that the days grew rougher as time passed.
Long after the man’s speech, followed by several others, Fai was now in a different room with other dignitaries. They pored over notes and debated heavily on their new plan of actions. It turned out that the speaker from earlier was a director of an orphanage, who was so distraught and agitated and had reported the most devastating of news. More children were being sent to the orphanage by the numbers - that was not surprising. But now the incidents of orphans freezing to death were growing at an alarming and horrible rate, and in desperation the director had sought the royal council to help the children out. And now in the chamber room, the princess made her voice clear that they would take additional steps to supply the orphanage, along with any other services, with better insulation tools. Signing off some documents and consulting with the royal treasurer, Fai sighed and stayed in her place, long after everyone else had left.
“Every time the snow falls, more people just die. It won’t ever stop. But if only I could do something to spare the people’s lives, I would.”
Her voice was trembling, and now that she was alone in privacy, Fai let go of her assured, firm monarch stance and went to her fearful, wounded self.
“What am I going to do?”
That night she dreamed of neverending snow, wind rippling from all corners of the world so cold and fierce that people died by the minutes and then seconds. Ice started to encase rocks and homes, freezing water for so long that thirst became a problem because other sources were already tainted. The population dwindled as the snow continued falling and the chill became so severe that ice started to form at her feet, slowly making their way up her body. Her nerves were screaming in pain and cold and the spirits echoed along one by one, begging her to end it all and to do something. The ice was now reaching mid waist and by then waves of the snow people had left the borders in caravans, leaving her there in her cold prison, heart slowly stopping, fading, dying…
When the spirits showed up in dreams with their messages, they have to be listened. Fai’s restless sleep was interrupted late into the night by the thunderous pounding at her bedchamber’s doors, and when she went to open it after fastening a warm robe and saw Nokoru, captain of the knights, with blood smeared across his armor, she understood.
“The castle is being attacked, Your Highness,” he said, gravely, “and I, Sir Nokoru, have come to assist with your emergency escort.”
If the world all around her hadn’t collapsed yet owing to her presence, she swore it was right now. “Where are you taking me?”
“To a remote shack, Your Highness. Her Late Majesty had one constructed and concealed should this day ever come. As captain of the knights, it would be in the best of interest that we leave as soon as possible. I’ll be waiting out here while you get dressed.”
He shut the door, leaving Fai alone in her room. Time was pressing, but to her, it felt endless. She stayed there for a moment, wrought with her assessment of the situation.
The first waves of invaders had long ago been driven out from the kingdom, leaving the survivors and the royal family to live precariously as their cherished and beloved home was slowly killing them. There was no reason for them to come back anymore - the damage had been done, and their agenda to desecrate the ancient ways between nature and humans was working. Ruling that out could only mean one thing. The people were revolting, or perhaps worse, their minds had become fully corrupted from the disturbance in the natural forces. Either way, the grimly phase had come at last, and with a horrible pit gnawing in her stomach and mind reeling with the guilt from years ago, Fai collapsed on the floor.
For a moment she stayed like that, body completely locked down as if something possessed her. She shut her eyes so tight and clenched on her teeth, writhing in pain. After what seemed like long minutes, Fai broke out of her possessed spell and gasped for air. Her face was paler than usual, blue eyes widening in horror. A quick communion with the spirits had occurred.
“I have to - I have to appease the spirits,” she uttered. Choking back some tears, she clasped her hands to her chest in a mournful prayer. “Yes…it’s the only way…”
There was no way she would allow herself to just flee the castle, away from the attacks, and not do anything to rectify the worsening condition of her people. Where there was a will, there was a way. That was what her late mother had taught her in the olden days, melding an impression of the innate strength in the dynasty. And Fai knew what she had to do.
She took some breaths and composed herself, her head firm with decisions. With that Fai went about to change into a set of warm travelling clothing, fastening the rich cloak over her. When she returned to Nokoru outside of her chambers, he tightened a grip on his sword, eyed the other surrounding knights who were standing guard for them, nodded, and then beckoned for Fai to follow him.
“I will take you to a secret exit out of this castle, but we will have to quickly pass beyond the Great Hall as stealthily as we can. Once we reach the exit we will ride to the outskirts of the kingdom where Her Late Majesty had secured a place for you, Your Highness.”
“But Sir Nokoru, what will happen when I leave the castle? Shouldn’t I be doing something for our people?”
“Your safety is our utmost concern, Your Highness,” Nokoru said, quickening his pace. “The kingdom depends on your presence, and so long as you stay within the borders you are still doing your royal role in upholding its livelihood.”
“Yes, I know.” But she still didn’t feel settled enough. Remnants of her nightmare and communion lingered on her mind. “Yet I feel I should be addressing our people directly, rather than just cover and hide and doing my service to the spirits at the most of possible, minimum ways. Because I -”
“Watch out!”
Suddenly, Fai was pinned to the wall, shielded by Nokoru. Barrages of arrows flew at them; some lodging right into the knight’s chainmail. She started to scream but then he pressed a hand over her mouth, silencing her. One arrow had pierced him very close to the back of his neck. He wasn’t out cold yet, but he was already losing a lot of blood, on top of his other injuries he sustained from fighting beforehand.
“There she is!”
Trapped, Fai saw as waves of men stormed the hallway, nearly blockading the entire path. Scores of soldiers followed after. Something didn’t feel right. Nokoru had already turned around, sword drawn at the ready. His subordinate commanders Suoh and Akira soon joined him with their weapons drawn, surrounding all sides of the princess to protect her. Both of their armors were coated in blood as well. Fai did not want to know just how many bloodshed were already being spilt on the castle grounds in the last few hours late in the night. For a moment, nobody attacked. All eyes were laid on the three knights and the princess.
“Are you all mad?” Suoh barked.
None of them look possessed in any shapes or manners. But the room was cold, dreadfully cold, despite the cold sweat prickling down the back of her neck. All eyes of her people seemed far and distant. A horrible thought weighed deeply in her stomach. They were worse than mad.
They’d been poisoned. Poisoned as a result of the balance between nature and human destroyed so much that they had lost sense of what once was harmony. There were no outsiders to be enraged at, no enemies to unleash their hatred and violence at. There were only each other, and the nobility with the princess at the heart of the matters. No wonder the spirits were so disturbed in her dreams that night.
“Leave the castle, and nobody gets hurt. Aim any weapon on the princess, and there will be more blood,” Akira warned.
It didn’t matter. It was too late. More people would get hurt no matter what, unless Fai stepped in now.
“Don’t you see?” one of them finally said. “This is all her fault.”
Suddenly she couldn’t breathe and her head started to hurt again. The statement behind those words had haunted her for the past few years. The three knights surrounded tighter around her.
“How dare you maliciously attack Her Highness with your foul words, commoner,” Nokoru said. “Princess Fai has done nothing but sacrifice her health and well-being to uphold the kingdom and I will have nobody under my watch desecrate a fair and noble lady such as Her Highness.”
“Oh is that so. Then tell me, Princess, why have all the children died then?”
There was an angry din as the speaker stepped forward. It was the same orphanage director from the previous day, who had come begging the royal council to do everything they could in their power to help stop more orphans from freezing to death in their sleeps. He grabbed something from his tattered coat pocket and threw it at the feet of the three knights. All eyes landed on the object, where a lone burnt matchstick laid.
“I saw it in the hand of a little boy, no older than eight,” he quietly said. “Probably last match he had. Lit it to spare him and his little sister from freezing to death. But then a nasty wind blew and snuffed it. Us adults have it better in surviving than the children, but when I went to check on him and all the others. Dead. All of them.”
If she wasn’t trapped in this life-or-death situation, Fai would have wept openly, mourning for the losses of tens of children in one night. But she couldn’t for all she tried, not as the nagging and haunting thoughts of the spirits weighted in her mind. Not as everything inside of her was saying that she deserved it all for her foolish mistake years ago. Not as she had already wept many time beforehand as her beloved homeland and its people were being wiped out.
“So answer me, Princess, ANSWER ME!”
“Do not raise your voice at Her Highness!”
“Sir Nokoru-”
“Well, she’s finally speaking like she’s ought to-”
“We’re warning you!”
“Princess of Snow, may your soul rot to-”
“That’s enough!”
Nokoru had snapped and ran out of his formation, leaving an open spot for Fai to be attacked. Akira and Suoh quickly formed new stances around the princess and in utter rage and chaos a brawl ensued right in front of Fai’s eyes. She witnessed, in horror, at how the beloved knight captain had succumbed to the poison just as the other commoners. Nokoru, who had been so sweet and kind to her as a child, always saying he would not even let a fly harm someone so precious and worthy as her. Nokoru, who had been there for her in those times she didn’t have to be alone in the library. Nokoru, who was there for her when she grieved for the loss of her mother. Sir Nokoru, who was on the brink of madness because of her and if Fai didn’t do something soon, then they’ll be all…
“Levius!”
A large wind swept through them, knocking everybody apart to stop the fight. Nobody was expecting that, not even the princess, who was shaking heavily. Magic, she had just done ancient magic again in front of dozens of people, and there was no hiding it anymore. Now was her chance to set things right, the only way to lead the last remainder of her kind to the path of salvation and hope.
“You’re right,” she said, trembling. “It was all my fault, and I can prove it.”
With her fingers working again to trace a quick circle, she said the words that she had wished to forget but never could. There was a disturbance in the area as a powerful wave of wind ushered from her fingertips, riding down the hall. She could feel a path being forged in the blizzard at the mercy of her power, and by the way everybody was looking at each other with wide eyes, Fai knew that they’d finally understood the source of the disturbance that had broken the barrier Queen Elda had put up years ago.
“But I can help you all,” she spoke again. Fai felt faint, but she pressed on regardless. “I will do this spell as many times as it’ll take until everybody alive who is capable and wishes to are able to leave this kingdom and find refuge somewhere out in the greater world.”
“And how could we trust you, Your Highness?” said a man.
Despite how tired and anguished she was Fai remained tall and calm.
“Because it’s the only way, and I will do everything in my power to make sure no more deaths will occur as the sole heir of this kingdom.”
“Even we knights, Your Highness?” Suoh said.
“Yes, Sir Suoh, but some will be among the last to leave. And meanwhile, I will stay here to shepherd our people.”
“But, Your Highness!” Nokoru cried out. “What about you? What about you in the end?”
She was relieved had not lost his sweetness in the end. Her fate? Well, she knew what it was the moment she woke up from her nightmares this harrowing evening, nay, since the day she understood the fatalistic consequences of that dangerous spell she performed on that fateful day. The spirits had designated it as fit for her role as the Princess of Snow, fit as a sentence for what she had done and could never, ever forgive herself for.
“Sir Nokoru, the spirits and I have agreed that I would be bound upon this land to uphold the last remnants of the sacred connection between the elements and our kind, and so I will.”
Fai smiled, a somber one, however, for she had resigned to her fate for a very, very long time.
“Until the day I die.”
With the last of the exodus done, Fai had departed from the castle, empty as it was with no more servants, knights and court officials to fill the vast halls with life. Most citizens had taken her bargain to flee the perilous blizzards while some stayed behind, either too stubborn or too ill and feeble to be able to survive on their own out in the greater world. There was nothing left she could do for those who had chosen to stay behind; because once more people had left the land, the kingdom’s ravage grew worse, spelling death for them all except for her. Truly left alone, the princess chose to head to the shack that her mother had made for her.
And now, here she was.
The shack was well furnished, equipped with a cozy bed and layers of quilts. A small round table and a chair sat by the empty fireplace. Pantries and shelves lined along a small wall for Fai to store cooking items, things she made sure to secure from the castle’s kitchen before heading out. There was even a rug laid on top of the barren floor. For something that was placed in a remote region far in the outskirts of the kingdom, Fai had to admit that it did look homey, even though she was now the last one standing. The thought of her mother, gone from the physical world for years, had gone to the trouble of ensuring something modest and cozy enough for her safety brought tears to her eyes. She quickly wiped them away and then felt Chii brushing her nose along her coat sleeve.
This place is close to the borders. Do you think you will ever be tempted to leave this place for good?
Fai frowned. “No.”
As a child, she had dreamed of visiting other places, experiencing the wonders of the other elements. But that was crushed when she was trapped in the castle, and now as the sole survivor and heir, it was impossible to even want to break the last living connection between a human and the elements. It was against their nature. Fai had simply let go of her childish hopes and dreams a long time ago.
“But at least I was able to create and have you,” Fai said, smiling, as she opened the door with the tiny key at last.
There was a disturbance in the air when Fai and Chii were out foraging for food.
She could feel the way the patterns in the wind and snow shifted significantly different than their current chaotic state. Fai nearly dropped her basket of berries from sudden shock.
“An outsider?”
It looks so, said Chii, who had started sniffing suspiciously. Her companion growled, but then Fai motioned to calm her down.
“Wait for a moment.”
She closed her eyes, tapping into her reserves to communicate with the spirits that lurked around. They were still there, everywhere, lamenting the loss of the kingdom, serving as guides and companions for Fai. They were suddenly running high on energy, no doubt feeding off on the discovery of a human who had just entered this land.
“This outsider is not a threat to me,” Fai boldly concluded, shutting off the communion. Gathering her supplies together, she secured the rope around Chii’s neck and climbed on her. “And we must go aid that person.”
Chii snarled in protest. Fai promptly shut her snout and scowled in her ears, “Listen to me, the spirits had given me permission. Now go.”
They took off. Against the snow, Fai quickly summoned the powerful spell that would pave way for a smoother path, in the hopes of reaching to that foreigner before time ran out for them. As soon as she finished the words and the familiar windy blast came forth, something sharp gnawed in her stomach. Fai cried in pain, and in shock she slipped off of Chii, who then ran back and nudged her.
Don’t be so silly, child. With having more than yourself to keep the land from killing you all, you’re growing weaker. Don’t push yourself.
“I know,” Fai wheezed, “but I want to help that person. Please…I’ll be fine. Let’s just keep going.”
They were off again, heading towards the stranger whose presence was growing stronger. There was no indication if this person had sensed her help, but Fai was going to try, because she couldn’t let them die out here cold alone. And besides, it may meant -
“Chii, why did you stop?”
Her companion sniffed again and started spinning in a circle. I don’t smell the scent anymore.
“What?” Fai scrambled to hone for the presence again, but to her dismay it was faint, on the verge of dying.
“No, I was hoping to…”
I’m sorry, child, but there is nothing else we can do. Let’s head back home now.
Fai shook her head. “No, let’s go to that person still. I owe it to them - I should pray for them.”
By the time they reached the destination, everything seemed still. Lying in the blanket of snow was a body, wrapped up in a fetal position in hopes of staying warm until death won. Fai walked up to the person, and quietly thanked the spirits that at the very least his eyes were closed. In his hands were flowers, fresh and beautiful. They were pink, and their tiny petals reminded her of cherry blossoms from one of the many books she studied in her spare time. She wondered if this man was on his way somewhere, perhaps travelling, and found these beautiful flowers at the hidden Land of the Cherry Blossoms, a hidden locale near the dead Kingdom of Terra. Soon Fai had the image that these flowers were intended for a beloved, and the thought that this lovely person would never get to see this man ever again broke her heart.
It took some time until, with the aid of Chii, she was able to salvage a makeshift burial site and bury the brunet. Fai ensured that the cherry blossoms were still tucked securely in his frostbitten fingers, and as she murmured the ancient, sacred funeral prayers, tears poured out of her eyes for another regrettable loss.
The man with cherry blossoms was not the only victim.
As the months - years - went by, Fai and Chii encountered more stranded outsiders entering the borders of the kingdom. Each and every time her companion would caution her otherwise, but Fai would then insist that she still must do what she could, not only as the surviving princess of the land, but also as acts of repentance and benevolence. Yet with each passing moment her force slowly diminished, causing the world around her to be so brutal that it would get harder and harder for anybody to notice her pathways. Fai kept somber counts of how many more people died under her own hands, adding to the toll that were already devastating from her people, but as time went on she ceased. Burdened with these tragedies, Fai grew numb, bitterly used to them, yet she never wanted to give up whenever another case happened. It was foolish, she felt, but Fai couldn’t help it.
She couldn’t let anyone die anymore, not if she could help it.
One day - now with hair turning bleak white and growing past her waist and skin sunken - she and Chii were out again, darting furiously across her new path. The location was pinpointed to be a barren cavern that lined on the west. Fai prayed that the person had at least taken refuge inside the cavern, away from the deadly blizzards howling like never before. Along the way they started to detect a sign of warmth. The signs were more hopeful - that person had a source of heat with them at the very least. Maybe this time a death wouldn’t occur. She could nurse this person back to health and help send them back out of this wretched place.
“Almost there,” she whispered. The path started caving in. Wasting no time, she started carving the path again, and finally she could make out the entrance. “Just you wait, we will -”
A jolt lit in her body. Screaming, Fai fell off of Chii. Her muscles started to ache and the air started to feel so tight that she couldn’t breathe. But today was not the day she was going to die, so she would live, but as for the other person…
She felt that same warmth extinguish.
“No!”
She didn’t care if she was in pain. Fai pushed herself up, and in a moment of anger and despair she ran on her own to the entrance, leaving Chii behind and ignoring her companion’s cry to come back before she regret it. Fai didn’t care - she was going to give the afterlife blessings to this stranger, just like she had for the last hundred or so victims.
The body was slumped along the inner walls of the cavern. Fai could still smell the last of the smoke rising from what were clearly matchsticks, littering the ground around frozen boots. Tufts of blond hair fell from the hood that was white, trimmed in blue. She stopped, eyes widened in horror at the realization that this was not a stranger, but a former citizen of this land.
Her heart nearly stopped when she recognized the symbol of the knighthood.
“Nokoru?”
Fai fell onto her knees. She refused to believe it was the one and only former captain of the knights who had bravely defended and protected her until he and his fellow men tearfully departed from the kingdom. But there was no point in lying. His eyes were still partially open and she bravely looked into them, as if he was still alive, happy to converse with her.
“Nokoru?” In desperation, Fai waved a hand in front of him, blindly hoping those haunting eyes would blink. “Nokoru!” She flipped back the hood and started shaking him, her vision becoming blurry. No, no, no!
“Nokoru! Nokoru!”
Fai broke down, sobbing, not caring if she wasn’t supposed to hold her former knight and friend this way. Never in her own mind would she thought of seeing anybody who had fled come back and then die at the very hand of his beloved home, especially not a knight, who had known the territory well to know where to go and how long to stay to ensure he would survive.
She knew Chii had arrived a long time ago, who stayed behind and remained silent, not willing to step forward and comfort her immediately. Chii for once was giving her space to grieve, and grieve Fai did. She cried, she wailed, she screamed, and in the cavern’s space her anguish echoed. When at last Fai felt her reservoir of tears were depleted and she couldn’t cry anymore, she looked into glossy eyes again.
“Why did you come back?”
The wind howled as usual in the background. Nothing came out of his still mouth.
“Is it because you thought I was lonely? Like how you sometimes dropped by the library when you were young and just a page in training?”
Memories of her youth, of safer days marked by dark times, resurfaced, overwhelming her. When the hours got dark and she shut the books and headed out of the library, the princess would run into the page who would bow and greet her. The first time he bestowed a flower, as a token of loyalty and friendship. They never had much time to spend in each other’s company with their duties, but she treasured it nevertheless.
“You knew, didn’t you? That I’m still lonely. Lonely, lonely, lonely.”
For the first time, she was able to fully confess how she felt all those years.
“Books became my friends. I found spells, indulged in them. I made a creature that did not last too long. Now, I have Chii. But…”
She was wrong. There were still deposits of tears left.
“But Chii is not a human. I never knew what it was like to have more human companionship, so I just drowned myself more and more into spells. When I found that book on that shelf - I should have known better. I was an idiot, a fool, a disgrace. I was never able to tell Mother what I had done, not even on her dying breath. I was too ashamed to tell her it was her heir, her daughter’s wickedness that had broken her powerful barrier. And now…”
Rage the likes she never felt before overwhelmed her.
“Nobody is here anymore. Everyone either died or left because of me. I tried to save anybody who got lost here but I was always too late. I thought I got over it, got over betraying everybody, waiting until the day I die and join the rest of the spirits as our kingdom died. But I never stopped betraying people, never stopped letting people die under my conscience. And now you, Sir Nokoru, I have betrayed you, and for that I don’t deserve your compassion, no matter what your intentions were of returning here in this wicked and perverse land. Why would you? You knew it was my fault then, why did you return then?”
Fai...
“Are all these deaths still a punishment?” she yelled, ignoring Chii. “For nearly my entire life I was locked away because of the powers I have. And look what they had done - they destroyed instead of saving the people. Was this bound to happen over and over until I die?!”
No Fai! By then Chii had run over to her.
“Is it a sin to be happy?”
The walls started shaking.
Fai, stop! Control yourself before you block us all in here.
The sound of an avalanche threatening to shut the cavern’s entrance managed to snap Fai out of her delirium. Just like that, the snow started to tone down. No longer able to fight back those tears she buried her whole body into Chii’s fur and cried.
“Mother, I’m so lonely.”
You are not, my child, Chii, now simply the vassal of her mother’s spirit, reassured. Close your eyes and look around. Feel the spirits. They are everywhere. You’re still not alone. And you still have your duty that you personally and willfully agreed to, remember that.
Fai let go and walked back to Nokoru, hovering a hand over his eyes.
“What good am I as the princess, when my kingdom lies in ruins?” she said bitterly, finally closing his eyes at last.
But her mother was right. She’d made a promise that she would uphold the last dignity of the kingdom until her own body could no longer fight, leaving her to die at last in the sanctity of her precious home. Fai left Nokoru there and headed out to the entrance, facing the snow as always.
“No matter how breathtaking or horrible it can get, our holy element is still here. And for that…I should be grateful to have that to seek comfort in.”
Resigned to her fate once again, Fai set to bury Nokoru outside of the cavern, where she delivered a eulogy for him. She lit the remaining matchstick in his honor, and made a vow for all the snow spirits to witness. The Princess of Snow had a heavy change of heart. No longer would she die in her sleep in the shack left by her mother. She would spend her last few precious days here in this cavern, where a brave and kind, fellow snow native had fallen, and breathe her last breath there with him.
The beloved knight was the last person to wind up in this forsaken kingdom. It was nothing short of relief for Fai, who wasn’t able to bear any more grief after her breakdown that awful day in the cavern. For another year or so she drifted in and out of the shack, doing the minimum tasks as needed and visiting the cavern to pay respect to Nokoru. Slowly she relocated her few remaining possessions to her new and final home, where she constructed a fire pit to the best she could.
When she was sure her life was coming to an end, Fai locked the shack, tucked the key in her traveling sack, and bid farewell to the last haven her mother had provided for her all those time.
She was not afraid of death, unlike the harrowing death that this kingdom would soon meet at last. Death was inevitable, a part of nature. In as much, it comforted her that soon she would join the other spirits. Fai had done all she could in her power, but deep down, she still harbored the guilt. Time would only tell how she would be received in the spiritual world, where all of her ancestors roamed.
On the eve of the last day of her life, she prepared her favorite soup, flavored with the sweetness of the plant that she had secured out of sheer luck. Fai struggled to keep the fire going while she cooked. Her body was worn with fatigue, but that didn’t stop her. But as time went on, she realized that she still needed to rekindle the fire. It was becoming a grave task for her, and there was only so much she could do scraping wood and rocks to start a new one.
Until, unexpectedly, the flames leapt to life, their warmth emanating the entire cavern.
Fai’s short cries alarmed Chii to come to her aide. She then explained to Chii what she had just observed, and when her companion couldn’t come up with a solution herself, Fai understood.
“I - I don’t believe it…”
Of course, but - at the same time, she had hoped no more would have come. But there was no doubt. Another person had entered the borders, inexplicably causing the fire to burst into life spectacularly. Fai had never encountered that odd disturbance before.
“What if, what if this is the last survivor of the Kingdom of Ember?” she whispered.
I don’t know, but even if it is so, it is a risk.
“Yes, but I remember reading in the books that was how you know a person from that land was arriving.” All of a sudden, she felt intrigued and hopeful again. Dared she hope to believe that this was the survivor of legends, the last heir of the Kingdom of Ember?
“Either way, I have to help that person.” Now was her chance, another one, in vain of hoping she could spare a life this time.
You don’t know - it could happen again.
“I don’t know until I try,” Fai retorted. Her words stung, however, knowing that was precisely how she got everybody in trouble in the end.
But, Fai, you know your time is running out. Are you sure you are willing to sacrifice everything to save this stray person?
“I can’t let anyone die!”
Her voice had grown so cold, so icy and blunt that Chii stopped questioning the princess’ desires. The companion chided her for breaking out into another burst of temper, and in shame Fai calmed down immediately. The last thing she wanted was to have her mood affect the region and jeopardize the poor foreigner further. Sighing, she sat back down on the large rock and picked up a long branch, its tips burnt from already being used to stoke, and prodded the white hot rocks underneath the logs.
“But I know it. I feel something extraordinary coming from this stranger,” Fai said. Both she and Chii observed how the fire was still growing, its flames soaring higher in response to the detection of another living being at the borders of the Kingdom of Snow.
Fai knew it meant something and that in particular it was someone - and she still believed - someone from the neighboring Kingdom of Ember that had long ago fallen when she was just a child, naïve and frightened. Maybe the symptoms of hypothermia were already encroaching on her to create that delusion. Yet even so, the snow princess had felt an unusual reassurance coming from her fire that had leapt extraordinarily right in front of her eyes. Feeling momentously inspired and emboldened, Fai rose and walked to the entrance of the cavern, bracing the cold snow once more. Yes, she would die soon, but Fai only wanted to help this person out before she left the physical world.
And have that one last chance to see a live, breathing human being.
Like that one time she was still too young to comprehend what devastating consequences her actions would entail, like all those times she sought to save those who found themselves lost and stranded in the maze of the blizzards, Fai traced a taut circle in the air, concentrating intently on the direction where she knew this person was stuck. Words familiar to her by heart came to her, and it took all willpower not to let her emotions get to the best of her as she recited the ancient but strong incantations.
Ineh forze
dalai toh
Preyearth amas
sundrith moh
Bit by bit the blizzard currents transfixed into one continuous direction. Immediately Fai felt another wave of pain hitting her abdominal areas and she clutched herself, biting on her lips so that she could still see far down the path to ensure her spell was going to make it all the way to the other end.
(Wind, snow
heed my call
One path
connect us all)
By then Chii had ran out to the front to join her and in relief Fai collapsed into her companion. Breathing heavily the princess closed her eyes and muttered some few words softly as pale eyelids fluttered close.
(Grant my wish)
She was suddenly rushed to the other end of the path the princess had started clearing up where she saw herself stranded near the shack, fighting against the blizzard with her torch alit.
(O’ Child of Ember…Can you save my sweet Child of Snow?)
She knew what she had to do, and for the second time with torch in hand, Kurogane followed the path…
In the moonlight I felt your heart
quiver like a bowstring's pulse
In the moon's pale light you looked at me
Nobody knows your heart
When the sun has gone I see you
Beautiful and haunting but cold
like the blade of a knife so sharp and sweet
Nobody knows your heart
All of your sorrow, grief and pain
locked away in the forest of the night
Your secret heart belongs to the world
Of the things that sigh in the dark
Of the things that cry in the dark
- “Princess Mononoke” - Hayao Miyazaki; English translator unknown
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Allusions to Fai's past in canon events
Notice: AU, female!Kurogane and female!Fai
Summary: Fai always had one simple wish, a wish that Kurogane may be able to grant.
Author's Note: So, I pretty much am a derp and instead of having this be done in five chapters, it's going to be six. Apologies, but the conclusion will be next for sure. Many thanks to youkohiei-fan, chilly-3x4, and srsly-smrt for their feedback and support.
The ancient language I used for Fai's spells are completely made up.
Chapter 5 - Pathway to Salvation
She was chilled to her bones, but her suffocating lungs felt as if they were bursting from flames. No longer were there only images of fire and the sensations of smokes clouding her head and seeping into her eyes, nose and mouth; there were also cold air rattling in her chest, coldness pinpricking on her skins like needles that send her nerves on fire. The combination of fire and ice was becoming so excruciatingly painful that she just wanted to die just so she didn’t have to feel this or feel anything anymore. The haunting cries of that mysterious woman returned, and right in front of her eyes the voice paved way to an image of a lady with long, black hair and fiery red eyes. She was tending to her burns, and her tears served as healing water. Drip, drip they went, and soon the enigmatic ember spirit morphed gradually into a pool of water.
The surface turned icy, but it immediately cracked and soon another feminine figure emerged. This time she had flowing golden hair and frosty blue eyes that looked so familiar. A diadem made out of ice encircled her forehead, creating a beautiful, ethereal effect. She smiled and extended her arms, sweeping robes spilling to the dark floor below them.
“Come, I must show you something,” the snow spirit said in her soft, airy voice. The pacifying offer was so soothing that she immediately accepted it. As soon as her hands touched those of the spirit, her pain started to alleviate, but all was yet to be over…
Snow…
Snow was all she was seeing and they were falling from the vast gray sky. Droplets of them swirled gracefully and softly until they landed on the surface. None of them touched her skin at all (because she knew this wasn’t real, and yet, where exactly was she taken?) She then shifted her attention to the ground that was made with cobblestones, blanketed with powder, followed with the grand building rising in front of her. There were turrets with icicles dangling from the windowpanes and smoke rose from many chimneys stacked on top. It didn’t take her long to understand that this was a castle as she stood there marveling at the dark, grand entrance in awe.
Suddenly she heard laughter coming down from the hall, and right in front of her eyes a child no older than the age of five or six was running right close to where she was standing. When she got a better inspection of the child, she had a double take.
The girl had hair as brilliant as the sun and her eyes were crystal blue. She was dressed in a thick white dress adorned with blue intricate patterns, and when the girl smiled she was instantly reminded of her. (But could it be?) Snow landed on her and the girl laughed once more, snowflakes dancing off of her golden eyelashes. She threw out her arms and twirled and twirled, spinning herself in a circle endlessly. Her cheeks were already turning so pink from the cold, but it was so clear that she was as happy as could be.
“O’ sweet child, where are you?”
The girl stopped in her track. “Over here, Mother!”
She followed the child’s attention back to the entrance as well and saw another person heading towards their way. Her mother revealed herself at last, and it was striking how much her child resembled her. Golden hair reached past her waist and a diadem made out of ice crowned her head. She resembled the first snow spirit the general had encountered earlier, except she was not aware of her presence. So this must be the Queen of Snow, she realized.
“You shouldn’t be outside on your own,” the queen chastised, sighing but still smiling in good patience.
“I know,” her daughter said, “but it started snowing and I had to see it.”
“But my child, you already know that it snows a lot. There is no need to run outside to greet it without royal supervision.”
The princess pouted and whined, “But Mother, you know it makes me happy.”
She wondered how the child could get away with treating her mother, let alone the queen, like that. To her surprise, the queen laughed and bent down to brush snow from her daughter’s sun-silk hair.
“Of course, sweet child,” she said, and the girl smiled back. “When the snow falls in our kingdom, the people and the spirits are always happy and grateful, knowing that the balance is still there. And that is why our beloved land will always flourish, my dearest Fai.”
Those bright and prosperous days were too good to last forever.
News of the fall of the neighboring Kingdom of Ember had reached the castle. The queen had turned pale upon hearing the words. The crusaders of modern civilization and warfare were reputed to be powerful and unpredictable, and if the kingdom who was known to produce the finest of warriors even amongst the nobility had succumbed to the enemies, then it could only mean that the Kingdom of Snow would be next. Rumors had it that one of the King of Ember’s daughters had fled from the kingdom, but the queen had seen to it that the same fate would not happen for the sake of her child. With her head held high, she summoned a meeting with the court and the captain of the knights to map out a quick defense strategy in preparation for a war.
A young one like Fai should not have known about this so soon, but since she was the crown princess her mother had no other choice but to tell her the grave situation their people and the kingdom were about to encounter. Although the reigning monarch had the highest power when it came to the sacred connection to the cold element, Fai was the sole heir and had much, much potential to be even more powerful than her mother. Her vulnerability was at an all high level, and it was agreed that no matter what happened, her life must not be taken whatsoever.
From then on Princess Fai had no choice but to remain in the confines of the castle, removed from the rest of the kingdom. As the only royal child Fai was naturally lonely. Her favorite spot was the vast library, and her new friends were books. She read on many subjects, especially the histories of the neighboring kingdoms. All hopes of leaving the place someday, even for just diplomatic visits were gone, and so she treasured the tales and the legends to fulfill her fantasies and childish whims. One of the books she encountered were ladled with ancient texts, and after fruitlessly spending hours and hours consulting the translation book, Fai learned that those texts were spells, spells that no one in the royal family had used for years. When no one was carefully watching, the princess would practice them, using her fingers to trace in the air while speaking in her people’s ancient native tongue.
The first thing she learned was how to make a creature for a new friend. It didn’t last long, but it was a start.
In the end, the queen had decided to use her royal powers to manipulate the element. She channeled the snow and wind into terrifying blizzards, surrounding the perimeters of the kingdom with them so that no outsiders and enemies could enter the land. Only pure and true, strong magic could penetrate the defenses, and with reports that the invaders had no such powers, there were still hope that the queen could keep her kingdom at bay from total destruction. It wasn’t the ideal decision, but it was the unfortunate circumstances that had led to this as the last resort.
The entire Kingdom of Snow was then shut away from the rest of the world as the ongoing battle between the ancient ways and that of the new pressed on, but the somber knowledge that the sealing would only impede, and not truly prevent, from imminent destruction loomed in the hearts and mind of Queen Elda and her people.
Days, months, and then soon years passed by as the people of snow continued living their lives as best as they could. Security was of course fortified, both around the castle and at the borders of the great kingdom. Children no longer had the same carefree freedom to roam and play about outside and everybody took great care to remain indoors as soon as the sun set down.
Such way of living in guarded manners was nothing new to the princess, who was still bound within the castle grounds. When Fai was not tending to her lessons or other royal duties she would still shut herself in the libraries, scrambling eagerly through more textbooks and discerning archaic language and spells. With practice over the years Fai knew she was progressing very well in the magic of her ancestors. Even though the royal family no longer practiced them, the young princess found joy in it. A part of it stemmed from her sincere hope that one day, with her chances of becoming more powerful than her mother could ever be, she would be able to use these difficult magic to save her kingdom for good and bring back peace and hope.
One day, when a brutal blizzard was blowing through the land, Fai found a tattered book hidden behind many books. It was covered in so much dust that she concluded it had to be abandoned for quite some amount of time. She carefully opened it, peeling page after page until it landed on one with lots of scrawled notes. Pulling a waning candle closer towards the text, she read it, eager and hopeful to test out another spell. A more powerful spell that could manipulate the winds and the currents and even blizzards for days on ends, more powerful and enduring than the current arts the queen had been enforcing.
Heart beating fast, Fai lifted a finger.
Ineh forze
dalai toh
She traced a circle while still keeping her eyes glued to the incantation, the ink so old that it was nearly fading.
Preyearth amas
sundrith moh
Suddenly, a strong gust of wind ushered forth from her. It was so fierce that she fell back. The pages on the old textbook flipped violently and closed shut, the shelves rattled, and the surrounding windows shook. Outside the blizzard began moving erratically even more so, until something peculiar caught her eyes as Fai struggled to hold onto the windowpanes.
A path was being carved out, one so smooth and visible that anyone who were daring and brave enough could try to venture on it. Blue eyes widened in wonder, and Fai knew, just knew that this had to be of her doing.
Her time of reverie and awe was interrupted as she heard yells and cries from court people and soldiers outside of the library. Soon the door burst open and her mother, the advisor, and scores of knights came in, surrounding her. Fai wondered what all the commotion was about, but as soon as she looked at her mother and saw how pale she looked, everything around her felt cold.
“My child,” Elda cried out, wrapping her arms protectively around Fai, “thank goodness you are alright.”
“Mother!” Fai was suddenly afraid, but she knew she needed to know. “Whatever is the matter?”
The queen’s face twisted in agony. Her lips grew thinner as she quickly eyed everyone else around them, before addressing her daughter again. She blinked to hold back tears and finally answered, but her voice was so quiet that Fai could barely hear her despair.
“The worst has come,” she said. “The barriers have broken, and our kingdom is now being invaded.”
“No…” Fai brought her hands up to her cheeks. “No, it can’t be…”
Her mother then brought her close and held her tight, and Fai reluctantly let her be comforted. Although Fai was devastated just as much as everyone else, the most horrible feeling possessed her. She knew - she just knew it was whatever she had just done that had destroyed the barrier.
And now, the fates of the people and the kingdom were doomed at the very hands of their Princess of Snow.
Catching on fire was one of the worst and torturous ways to die, slow and agonizing. That was the cruel fates for many people of the neighboring Kingdom of Ember when the connection broke and the nation slowly became one large, inhabitable molten pit. The same could be said for freezing to death.
That was, if the interlopers hadn’t gotten to them already or they were one of the fortunate few souls to flee the borders.
The restless troops waiting outside seized the opportunity to raid the outskirts of the kingdom. With the unexpected and ill-fating collapse of the queen’s barrier, the people along the perimeters were quickly decimated. No mercy was given as houses were burned, crops and land stock were destroyed, and scores of men, women and children were slaughtered. Blankets of snow were soon covered in red, laces of blood and ashes left behind to taint the most precious element that the natives revered. Death quickly befouled the kingdom, and as both the people and snow were affected, the delicate balance between the elements and humans was now on the brink of destruction.
Because several fine soldiers from the castle were amongst the casualties, peasant men were quickly drafted to assist in the warfare on the home front. For some they took their new roles with grim acceptance and for others they were unhappy with the prospect of fueling the poison that would soon pave way to destroy and corrupt their very own minds. Life beget life and death beget death. The people revered nature and nature thrived on the people. But now the very nature was being destroyed all in the name of the reckless drive towards modern civilization, away from the ancient ways of living in front of Fai’s eyes.
The air started to change for the worse. Snow wouldn’t stop falling and bitter wind howled incessantly, bringing pockets of frigid, cold air for long periods of time that crops that hadn’t been already destroyed by the outsiders would perish. Blizzards no longer followed a seasonal pattern. The chaos resulted in more cold spells, more unexpected illnesses - and in the pandemic spreading throughout the regions the people began to drop dead in the masses before anything could be done. Nothing could be done. The balance was now upset, had been tipped over, and now the snow natives were in danger of succumbing to fatal stages of hypothermia even in the comforts of their insulated homes. The domino effect soon became brutal. The more the climate became harsh, the more people die, and the more that die, the more unstable the snow acclimated.
With the war escalating and the invaders treading ever closer to the castle, it was nigh time that Elda personally saw to it to teach her daughter and heir the more recent ways to master manipulating the snow. The queen’s own life force was slowly chipping away at a dangerous pace, for as the reigning monarch, the spirits of the people and the element depended on her to uphold the forces for as long as she could as to not have the kingdom collapse completely. Therefore it was important that the princess strengthened her power to help protect their people to the best of her ability, and Fai gladly did so.
Ever since the horrible realization of her own actions leading to these devastating affairs and mass tragedies that afflicted her very own people, the Princess of Snow couldn’t bring it upon herself to confess her own grave mistakes to her mother. Instead, Fai stayed away from the library, refusing to ever open another stale book pressed in dusty corners and bookshelves or even enter the room. But in her heart, nothing could ever fully atone for the consequences of her childish practices.
Nothing could sway her painful remorse anymore when her mother died after using up the last of her energy to keep the elements at bay. At the age of fourteen, the entire future of the kingdom laid on the shoulders of Princess Fai.
Several years had passed and it showed.
Fai was no longer a girl, and now as a woman who had full authority she was tending to an audience. Signs of stress and age were showing. Her hair was significantly longer and thinner, the color slowly turning paler much like her complexion. There was a frown on her face as she listened to a citizen speaking. The man was livid, articulating his own needs and concerns with his hands. He was wearing frayed gloves. Patches of fabric had been heavily worn off that bits of his fingers were exposed and they were solid black. Fai nodded her head here and there while a court scribe next to her scribbled away, hastily, with the thick woolen gloves he luxuriously wore. All faces in the princess’ audience were pale and grim; some even looked sickly. It was clear that the days grew rougher as time passed.
Long after the man’s speech, followed by several others, Fai was now in a different room with other dignitaries. They pored over notes and debated heavily on their new plan of actions. It turned out that the speaker from earlier was a director of an orphanage, who was so distraught and agitated and had reported the most devastating of news. More children were being sent to the orphanage by the numbers - that was not surprising. But now the incidents of orphans freezing to death were growing at an alarming and horrible rate, and in desperation the director had sought the royal council to help the children out. And now in the chamber room, the princess made her voice clear that they would take additional steps to supply the orphanage, along with any other services, with better insulation tools. Signing off some documents and consulting with the royal treasurer, Fai sighed and stayed in her place, long after everyone else had left.
“Every time the snow falls, more people just die. It won’t ever stop. But if only I could do something to spare the people’s lives, I would.”
Her voice was trembling, and now that she was alone in privacy, Fai let go of her assured, firm monarch stance and went to her fearful, wounded self.
“What am I going to do?”
That night she dreamed of neverending snow, wind rippling from all corners of the world so cold and fierce that people died by the minutes and then seconds. Ice started to encase rocks and homes, freezing water for so long that thirst became a problem because other sources were already tainted. The population dwindled as the snow continued falling and the chill became so severe that ice started to form at her feet, slowly making their way up her body. Her nerves were screaming in pain and cold and the spirits echoed along one by one, begging her to end it all and to do something. The ice was now reaching mid waist and by then waves of the snow people had left the borders in caravans, leaving her there in her cold prison, heart slowly stopping, fading, dying…
When the spirits showed up in dreams with their messages, they have to be listened. Fai’s restless sleep was interrupted late into the night by the thunderous pounding at her bedchamber’s doors, and when she went to open it after fastening a warm robe and saw Nokoru, captain of the knights, with blood smeared across his armor, she understood.
“The castle is being attacked, Your Highness,” he said, gravely, “and I, Sir Nokoru, have come to assist with your emergency escort.”
If the world all around her hadn’t collapsed yet owing to her presence, she swore it was right now. “Where are you taking me?”
“To a remote shack, Your Highness. Her Late Majesty had one constructed and concealed should this day ever come. As captain of the knights, it would be in the best of interest that we leave as soon as possible. I’ll be waiting out here while you get dressed.”
He shut the door, leaving Fai alone in her room. Time was pressing, but to her, it felt endless. She stayed there for a moment, wrought with her assessment of the situation.
The first waves of invaders had long ago been driven out from the kingdom, leaving the survivors and the royal family to live precariously as their cherished and beloved home was slowly killing them. There was no reason for them to come back anymore - the damage had been done, and their agenda to desecrate the ancient ways between nature and humans was working. Ruling that out could only mean one thing. The people were revolting, or perhaps worse, their minds had become fully corrupted from the disturbance in the natural forces. Either way, the grimly phase had come at last, and with a horrible pit gnawing in her stomach and mind reeling with the guilt from years ago, Fai collapsed on the floor.
For a moment she stayed like that, body completely locked down as if something possessed her. She shut her eyes so tight and clenched on her teeth, writhing in pain. After what seemed like long minutes, Fai broke out of her possessed spell and gasped for air. Her face was paler than usual, blue eyes widening in horror. A quick communion with the spirits had occurred.
“I have to - I have to appease the spirits,” she uttered. Choking back some tears, she clasped her hands to her chest in a mournful prayer. “Yes…it’s the only way…”
There was no way she would allow herself to just flee the castle, away from the attacks, and not do anything to rectify the worsening condition of her people. Where there was a will, there was a way. That was what her late mother had taught her in the olden days, melding an impression of the innate strength in the dynasty. And Fai knew what she had to do.
She took some breaths and composed herself, her head firm with decisions. With that Fai went about to change into a set of warm travelling clothing, fastening the rich cloak over her. When she returned to Nokoru outside of her chambers, he tightened a grip on his sword, eyed the other surrounding knights who were standing guard for them, nodded, and then beckoned for Fai to follow him.
“I will take you to a secret exit out of this castle, but we will have to quickly pass beyond the Great Hall as stealthily as we can. Once we reach the exit we will ride to the outskirts of the kingdom where Her Late Majesty had secured a place for you, Your Highness.”
“But Sir Nokoru, what will happen when I leave the castle? Shouldn’t I be doing something for our people?”
“Your safety is our utmost concern, Your Highness,” Nokoru said, quickening his pace. “The kingdom depends on your presence, and so long as you stay within the borders you are still doing your royal role in upholding its livelihood.”
“Yes, I know.” But she still didn’t feel settled enough. Remnants of her nightmare and communion lingered on her mind. “Yet I feel I should be addressing our people directly, rather than just cover and hide and doing my service to the spirits at the most of possible, minimum ways. Because I -”
“Watch out!”
Suddenly, Fai was pinned to the wall, shielded by Nokoru. Barrages of arrows flew at them; some lodging right into the knight’s chainmail. She started to scream but then he pressed a hand over her mouth, silencing her. One arrow had pierced him very close to the back of his neck. He wasn’t out cold yet, but he was already losing a lot of blood, on top of his other injuries he sustained from fighting beforehand.
“There she is!”
Trapped, Fai saw as waves of men stormed the hallway, nearly blockading the entire path. Scores of soldiers followed after. Something didn’t feel right. Nokoru had already turned around, sword drawn at the ready. His subordinate commanders Suoh and Akira soon joined him with their weapons drawn, surrounding all sides of the princess to protect her. Both of their armors were coated in blood as well. Fai did not want to know just how many bloodshed were already being spilt on the castle grounds in the last few hours late in the night. For a moment, nobody attacked. All eyes were laid on the three knights and the princess.
“Are you all mad?” Suoh barked.
None of them look possessed in any shapes or manners. But the room was cold, dreadfully cold, despite the cold sweat prickling down the back of her neck. All eyes of her people seemed far and distant. A horrible thought weighed deeply in her stomach. They were worse than mad.
They’d been poisoned. Poisoned as a result of the balance between nature and human destroyed so much that they had lost sense of what once was harmony. There were no outsiders to be enraged at, no enemies to unleash their hatred and violence at. There were only each other, and the nobility with the princess at the heart of the matters. No wonder the spirits were so disturbed in her dreams that night.
“Leave the castle, and nobody gets hurt. Aim any weapon on the princess, and there will be more blood,” Akira warned.
It didn’t matter. It was too late. More people would get hurt no matter what, unless Fai stepped in now.
“Don’t you see?” one of them finally said. “This is all her fault.”
Suddenly she couldn’t breathe and her head started to hurt again. The statement behind those words had haunted her for the past few years. The three knights surrounded tighter around her.
“How dare you maliciously attack Her Highness with your foul words, commoner,” Nokoru said. “Princess Fai has done nothing but sacrifice her health and well-being to uphold the kingdom and I will have nobody under my watch desecrate a fair and noble lady such as Her Highness.”
“Oh is that so. Then tell me, Princess, why have all the children died then?”
There was an angry din as the speaker stepped forward. It was the same orphanage director from the previous day, who had come begging the royal council to do everything they could in their power to help stop more orphans from freezing to death in their sleeps. He grabbed something from his tattered coat pocket and threw it at the feet of the three knights. All eyes landed on the object, where a lone burnt matchstick laid.
“I saw it in the hand of a little boy, no older than eight,” he quietly said. “Probably last match he had. Lit it to spare him and his little sister from freezing to death. But then a nasty wind blew and snuffed it. Us adults have it better in surviving than the children, but when I went to check on him and all the others. Dead. All of them.”
If she wasn’t trapped in this life-or-death situation, Fai would have wept openly, mourning for the losses of tens of children in one night. But she couldn’t for all she tried, not as the nagging and haunting thoughts of the spirits weighted in her mind. Not as everything inside of her was saying that she deserved it all for her foolish mistake years ago. Not as she had already wept many time beforehand as her beloved homeland and its people were being wiped out.
“So answer me, Princess, ANSWER ME!”
“Do not raise your voice at Her Highness!”
“Sir Nokoru-”
“Well, she’s finally speaking like she’s ought to-”
“We’re warning you!”
“Princess of Snow, may your soul rot to-”
“That’s enough!”
Nokoru had snapped and ran out of his formation, leaving an open spot for Fai to be attacked. Akira and Suoh quickly formed new stances around the princess and in utter rage and chaos a brawl ensued right in front of Fai’s eyes. She witnessed, in horror, at how the beloved knight captain had succumbed to the poison just as the other commoners. Nokoru, who had been so sweet and kind to her as a child, always saying he would not even let a fly harm someone so precious and worthy as her. Nokoru, who had been there for her in those times she didn’t have to be alone in the library. Nokoru, who was there for her when she grieved for the loss of her mother. Sir Nokoru, who was on the brink of madness because of her and if Fai didn’t do something soon, then they’ll be all…
“Levius!”
A large wind swept through them, knocking everybody apart to stop the fight. Nobody was expecting that, not even the princess, who was shaking heavily. Magic, she had just done ancient magic again in front of dozens of people, and there was no hiding it anymore. Now was her chance to set things right, the only way to lead the last remainder of her kind to the path of salvation and hope.
“You’re right,” she said, trembling. “It was all my fault, and I can prove it.”
With her fingers working again to trace a quick circle, she said the words that she had wished to forget but never could. There was a disturbance in the area as a powerful wave of wind ushered from her fingertips, riding down the hall. She could feel a path being forged in the blizzard at the mercy of her power, and by the way everybody was looking at each other with wide eyes, Fai knew that they’d finally understood the source of the disturbance that had broken the barrier Queen Elda had put up years ago.
“But I can help you all,” she spoke again. Fai felt faint, but she pressed on regardless. “I will do this spell as many times as it’ll take until everybody alive who is capable and wishes to are able to leave this kingdom and find refuge somewhere out in the greater world.”
“And how could we trust you, Your Highness?” said a man.
Despite how tired and anguished she was Fai remained tall and calm.
“Because it’s the only way, and I will do everything in my power to make sure no more deaths will occur as the sole heir of this kingdom.”
“Even we knights, Your Highness?” Suoh said.
“Yes, Sir Suoh, but some will be among the last to leave. And meanwhile, I will stay here to shepherd our people.”
“But, Your Highness!” Nokoru cried out. “What about you? What about you in the end?”
She was relieved had not lost his sweetness in the end. Her fate? Well, she knew what it was the moment she woke up from her nightmares this harrowing evening, nay, since the day she understood the fatalistic consequences of that dangerous spell she performed on that fateful day. The spirits had designated it as fit for her role as the Princess of Snow, fit as a sentence for what she had done and could never, ever forgive herself for.
“Sir Nokoru, the spirits and I have agreed that I would be bound upon this land to uphold the last remnants of the sacred connection between the elements and our kind, and so I will.”
Fai smiled, a somber one, however, for she had resigned to her fate for a very, very long time.
“Until the day I die.”
With the last of the exodus done, Fai had departed from the castle, empty as it was with no more servants, knights and court officials to fill the vast halls with life. Most citizens had taken her bargain to flee the perilous blizzards while some stayed behind, either too stubborn or too ill and feeble to be able to survive on their own out in the greater world. There was nothing left she could do for those who had chosen to stay behind; because once more people had left the land, the kingdom’s ravage grew worse, spelling death for them all except for her. Truly left alone, the princess chose to head to the shack that her mother had made for her.
And now, here she was.
The shack was well furnished, equipped with a cozy bed and layers of quilts. A small round table and a chair sat by the empty fireplace. Pantries and shelves lined along a small wall for Fai to store cooking items, things she made sure to secure from the castle’s kitchen before heading out. There was even a rug laid on top of the barren floor. For something that was placed in a remote region far in the outskirts of the kingdom, Fai had to admit that it did look homey, even though she was now the last one standing. The thought of her mother, gone from the physical world for years, had gone to the trouble of ensuring something modest and cozy enough for her safety brought tears to her eyes. She quickly wiped them away and then felt Chii brushing her nose along her coat sleeve.
This place is close to the borders. Do you think you will ever be tempted to leave this place for good?
Fai frowned. “No.”
As a child, she had dreamed of visiting other places, experiencing the wonders of the other elements. But that was crushed when she was trapped in the castle, and now as the sole survivor and heir, it was impossible to even want to break the last living connection between a human and the elements. It was against their nature. Fai had simply let go of her childish hopes and dreams a long time ago.
“But at least I was able to create and have you,” Fai said, smiling, as she opened the door with the tiny key at last.
There was a disturbance in the air when Fai and Chii were out foraging for food.
She could feel the way the patterns in the wind and snow shifted significantly different than their current chaotic state. Fai nearly dropped her basket of berries from sudden shock.
“An outsider?”
It looks so, said Chii, who had started sniffing suspiciously. Her companion growled, but then Fai motioned to calm her down.
“Wait for a moment.”
She closed her eyes, tapping into her reserves to communicate with the spirits that lurked around. They were still there, everywhere, lamenting the loss of the kingdom, serving as guides and companions for Fai. They were suddenly running high on energy, no doubt feeding off on the discovery of a human who had just entered this land.
“This outsider is not a threat to me,” Fai boldly concluded, shutting off the communion. Gathering her supplies together, she secured the rope around Chii’s neck and climbed on her. “And we must go aid that person.”
Chii snarled in protest. Fai promptly shut her snout and scowled in her ears, “Listen to me, the spirits had given me permission. Now go.”
They took off. Against the snow, Fai quickly summoned the powerful spell that would pave way for a smoother path, in the hopes of reaching to that foreigner before time ran out for them. As soon as she finished the words and the familiar windy blast came forth, something sharp gnawed in her stomach. Fai cried in pain, and in shock she slipped off of Chii, who then ran back and nudged her.
Don’t be so silly, child. With having more than yourself to keep the land from killing you all, you’re growing weaker. Don’t push yourself.
“I know,” Fai wheezed, “but I want to help that person. Please…I’ll be fine. Let’s just keep going.”
They were off again, heading towards the stranger whose presence was growing stronger. There was no indication if this person had sensed her help, but Fai was going to try, because she couldn’t let them die out here cold alone. And besides, it may meant -
“Chii, why did you stop?”
Her companion sniffed again and started spinning in a circle. I don’t smell the scent anymore.
“What?” Fai scrambled to hone for the presence again, but to her dismay it was faint, on the verge of dying.
“No, I was hoping to…”
I’m sorry, child, but there is nothing else we can do. Let’s head back home now.
Fai shook her head. “No, let’s go to that person still. I owe it to them - I should pray for them.”
By the time they reached the destination, everything seemed still. Lying in the blanket of snow was a body, wrapped up in a fetal position in hopes of staying warm until death won. Fai walked up to the person, and quietly thanked the spirits that at the very least his eyes were closed. In his hands were flowers, fresh and beautiful. They were pink, and their tiny petals reminded her of cherry blossoms from one of the many books she studied in her spare time. She wondered if this man was on his way somewhere, perhaps travelling, and found these beautiful flowers at the hidden Land of the Cherry Blossoms, a hidden locale near the dead Kingdom of Terra. Soon Fai had the image that these flowers were intended for a beloved, and the thought that this lovely person would never get to see this man ever again broke her heart.
It took some time until, with the aid of Chii, she was able to salvage a makeshift burial site and bury the brunet. Fai ensured that the cherry blossoms were still tucked securely in his frostbitten fingers, and as she murmured the ancient, sacred funeral prayers, tears poured out of her eyes for another regrettable loss.
The man with cherry blossoms was not the only victim.
As the months - years - went by, Fai and Chii encountered more stranded outsiders entering the borders of the kingdom. Each and every time her companion would caution her otherwise, but Fai would then insist that she still must do what she could, not only as the surviving princess of the land, but also as acts of repentance and benevolence. Yet with each passing moment her force slowly diminished, causing the world around her to be so brutal that it would get harder and harder for anybody to notice her pathways. Fai kept somber counts of how many more people died under her own hands, adding to the toll that were already devastating from her people, but as time went on she ceased. Burdened with these tragedies, Fai grew numb, bitterly used to them, yet she never wanted to give up whenever another case happened. It was foolish, she felt, but Fai couldn’t help it.
She couldn’t let anyone die anymore, not if she could help it.
One day - now with hair turning bleak white and growing past her waist and skin sunken - she and Chii were out again, darting furiously across her new path. The location was pinpointed to be a barren cavern that lined on the west. Fai prayed that the person had at least taken refuge inside the cavern, away from the deadly blizzards howling like never before. Along the way they started to detect a sign of warmth. The signs were more hopeful - that person had a source of heat with them at the very least. Maybe this time a death wouldn’t occur. She could nurse this person back to health and help send them back out of this wretched place.
“Almost there,” she whispered. The path started caving in. Wasting no time, she started carving the path again, and finally she could make out the entrance. “Just you wait, we will -”
A jolt lit in her body. Screaming, Fai fell off of Chii. Her muscles started to ache and the air started to feel so tight that she couldn’t breathe. But today was not the day she was going to die, so she would live, but as for the other person…
She felt that same warmth extinguish.
“No!”
She didn’t care if she was in pain. Fai pushed herself up, and in a moment of anger and despair she ran on her own to the entrance, leaving Chii behind and ignoring her companion’s cry to come back before she regret it. Fai didn’t care - she was going to give the afterlife blessings to this stranger, just like she had for the last hundred or so victims.
The body was slumped along the inner walls of the cavern. Fai could still smell the last of the smoke rising from what were clearly matchsticks, littering the ground around frozen boots. Tufts of blond hair fell from the hood that was white, trimmed in blue. She stopped, eyes widened in horror at the realization that this was not a stranger, but a former citizen of this land.
Her heart nearly stopped when she recognized the symbol of the knighthood.
“Nokoru?”
Fai fell onto her knees. She refused to believe it was the one and only former captain of the knights who had bravely defended and protected her until he and his fellow men tearfully departed from the kingdom. But there was no point in lying. His eyes were still partially open and she bravely looked into them, as if he was still alive, happy to converse with her.
“Nokoru?” In desperation, Fai waved a hand in front of him, blindly hoping those haunting eyes would blink. “Nokoru!” She flipped back the hood and started shaking him, her vision becoming blurry. No, no, no!
“Nokoru! Nokoru!”
Fai broke down, sobbing, not caring if she wasn’t supposed to hold her former knight and friend this way. Never in her own mind would she thought of seeing anybody who had fled come back and then die at the very hand of his beloved home, especially not a knight, who had known the territory well to know where to go and how long to stay to ensure he would survive.
She knew Chii had arrived a long time ago, who stayed behind and remained silent, not willing to step forward and comfort her immediately. Chii for once was giving her space to grieve, and grieve Fai did. She cried, she wailed, she screamed, and in the cavern’s space her anguish echoed. When at last Fai felt her reservoir of tears were depleted and she couldn’t cry anymore, she looked into glossy eyes again.
“Why did you come back?”
The wind howled as usual in the background. Nothing came out of his still mouth.
“Is it because you thought I was lonely? Like how you sometimes dropped by the library when you were young and just a page in training?”
Memories of her youth, of safer days marked by dark times, resurfaced, overwhelming her. When the hours got dark and she shut the books and headed out of the library, the princess would run into the page who would bow and greet her. The first time he bestowed a flower, as a token of loyalty and friendship. They never had much time to spend in each other’s company with their duties, but she treasured it nevertheless.
“You knew, didn’t you? That I’m still lonely. Lonely, lonely, lonely.”
For the first time, she was able to fully confess how she felt all those years.
“Books became my friends. I found spells, indulged in them. I made a creature that did not last too long. Now, I have Chii. But…”
She was wrong. There were still deposits of tears left.
“But Chii is not a human. I never knew what it was like to have more human companionship, so I just drowned myself more and more into spells. When I found that book on that shelf - I should have known better. I was an idiot, a fool, a disgrace. I was never able to tell Mother what I had done, not even on her dying breath. I was too ashamed to tell her it was her heir, her daughter’s wickedness that had broken her powerful barrier. And now…”
Rage the likes she never felt before overwhelmed her.
“Nobody is here anymore. Everyone either died or left because of me. I tried to save anybody who got lost here but I was always too late. I thought I got over it, got over betraying everybody, waiting until the day I die and join the rest of the spirits as our kingdom died. But I never stopped betraying people, never stopped letting people die under my conscience. And now you, Sir Nokoru, I have betrayed you, and for that I don’t deserve your compassion, no matter what your intentions were of returning here in this wicked and perverse land. Why would you? You knew it was my fault then, why did you return then?”
Fai...
“Are all these deaths still a punishment?” she yelled, ignoring Chii. “For nearly my entire life I was locked away because of the powers I have. And look what they had done - they destroyed instead of saving the people. Was this bound to happen over and over until I die?!”
No Fai! By then Chii had run over to her.
“Is it a sin to be happy?”
The walls started shaking.
Fai, stop! Control yourself before you block us all in here.
The sound of an avalanche threatening to shut the cavern’s entrance managed to snap Fai out of her delirium. Just like that, the snow started to tone down. No longer able to fight back those tears she buried her whole body into Chii’s fur and cried.
“Mother, I’m so lonely.”
You are not, my child, Chii, now simply the vassal of her mother’s spirit, reassured. Close your eyes and look around. Feel the spirits. They are everywhere. You’re still not alone. And you still have your duty that you personally and willfully agreed to, remember that.
Fai let go and walked back to Nokoru, hovering a hand over his eyes.
“What good am I as the princess, when my kingdom lies in ruins?” she said bitterly, finally closing his eyes at last.
But her mother was right. She’d made a promise that she would uphold the last dignity of the kingdom until her own body could no longer fight, leaving her to die at last in the sanctity of her precious home. Fai left Nokoru there and headed out to the entrance, facing the snow as always.
“No matter how breathtaking or horrible it can get, our holy element is still here. And for that…I should be grateful to have that to seek comfort in.”
Resigned to her fate once again, Fai set to bury Nokoru outside of the cavern, where she delivered a eulogy for him. She lit the remaining matchstick in his honor, and made a vow for all the snow spirits to witness. The Princess of Snow had a heavy change of heart. No longer would she die in her sleep in the shack left by her mother. She would spend her last few precious days here in this cavern, where a brave and kind, fellow snow native had fallen, and breathe her last breath there with him.
The beloved knight was the last person to wind up in this forsaken kingdom. It was nothing short of relief for Fai, who wasn’t able to bear any more grief after her breakdown that awful day in the cavern. For another year or so she drifted in and out of the shack, doing the minimum tasks as needed and visiting the cavern to pay respect to Nokoru. Slowly she relocated her few remaining possessions to her new and final home, where she constructed a fire pit to the best she could.
When she was sure her life was coming to an end, Fai locked the shack, tucked the key in her traveling sack, and bid farewell to the last haven her mother had provided for her all those time.
She was not afraid of death, unlike the harrowing death that this kingdom would soon meet at last. Death was inevitable, a part of nature. In as much, it comforted her that soon she would join the other spirits. Fai had done all she could in her power, but deep down, she still harbored the guilt. Time would only tell how she would be received in the spiritual world, where all of her ancestors roamed.
On the eve of the last day of her life, she prepared her favorite soup, flavored with the sweetness of the plant that she had secured out of sheer luck. Fai struggled to keep the fire going while she cooked. Her body was worn with fatigue, but that didn’t stop her. But as time went on, she realized that she still needed to rekindle the fire. It was becoming a grave task for her, and there was only so much she could do scraping wood and rocks to start a new one.
Until, unexpectedly, the flames leapt to life, their warmth emanating the entire cavern.
Fai’s short cries alarmed Chii to come to her aide. She then explained to Chii what she had just observed, and when her companion couldn’t come up with a solution herself, Fai understood.
“I - I don’t believe it…”
Of course, but - at the same time, she had hoped no more would have come. But there was no doubt. Another person had entered the borders, inexplicably causing the fire to burst into life spectacularly. Fai had never encountered that odd disturbance before.
“What if, what if this is the last survivor of the Kingdom of Ember?” she whispered.
I don’t know, but even if it is so, it is a risk.
“Yes, but I remember reading in the books that was how you know a person from that land was arriving.” All of a sudden, she felt intrigued and hopeful again. Dared she hope to believe that this was the survivor of legends, the last heir of the Kingdom of Ember?
“Either way, I have to help that person.” Now was her chance, another one, in vain of hoping she could spare a life this time.
You don’t know - it could happen again.
“I don’t know until I try,” Fai retorted. Her words stung, however, knowing that was precisely how she got everybody in trouble in the end.
But, Fai, you know your time is running out. Are you sure you are willing to sacrifice everything to save this stray person?
“I can’t let anyone die!”
Her voice had grown so cold, so icy and blunt that Chii stopped questioning the princess’ desires. The companion chided her for breaking out into another burst of temper, and in shame Fai calmed down immediately. The last thing she wanted was to have her mood affect the region and jeopardize the poor foreigner further. Sighing, she sat back down on the large rock and picked up a long branch, its tips burnt from already being used to stoke, and prodded the white hot rocks underneath the logs.
“But I know it. I feel something extraordinary coming from this stranger,” Fai said. Both she and Chii observed how the fire was still growing, its flames soaring higher in response to the detection of another living being at the borders of the Kingdom of Snow.
Fai knew it meant something and that in particular it was someone - and she still believed - someone from the neighboring Kingdom of Ember that had long ago fallen when she was just a child, naïve and frightened. Maybe the symptoms of hypothermia were already encroaching on her to create that delusion. Yet even so, the snow princess had felt an unusual reassurance coming from her fire that had leapt extraordinarily right in front of her eyes. Feeling momentously inspired and emboldened, Fai rose and walked to the entrance of the cavern, bracing the cold snow once more. Yes, she would die soon, but Fai only wanted to help this person out before she left the physical world.
And have that one last chance to see a live, breathing human being.
Like that one time she was still too young to comprehend what devastating consequences her actions would entail, like all those times she sought to save those who found themselves lost and stranded in the maze of the blizzards, Fai traced a taut circle in the air, concentrating intently on the direction where she knew this person was stuck. Words familiar to her by heart came to her, and it took all willpower not to let her emotions get to the best of her as she recited the ancient but strong incantations.
Ineh forze
dalai toh
Preyearth amas
sundrith moh
Bit by bit the blizzard currents transfixed into one continuous direction. Immediately Fai felt another wave of pain hitting her abdominal areas and she clutched herself, biting on her lips so that she could still see far down the path to ensure her spell was going to make it all the way to the other end.
(Wind, snow
heed my call
One path
connect us all)
By then Chii had ran out to the front to join her and in relief Fai collapsed into her companion. Breathing heavily the princess closed her eyes and muttered some few words softly as pale eyelids fluttered close.
(Grant my wish)
She was suddenly rushed to the other end of the path the princess had started clearing up where she saw herself stranded near the shack, fighting against the blizzard with her torch alit.
(O’ Child of Ember…Can you save my sweet Child of Snow?)
She knew what she had to do, and for the second time with torch in hand, Kurogane followed the path…
In the moonlight I felt your heart
quiver like a bowstring's pulse
In the moon's pale light you looked at me
Nobody knows your heart
When the sun has gone I see you
Beautiful and haunting but cold
like the blade of a knife so sharp and sweet
Nobody knows your heart
All of your sorrow, grief and pain
locked away in the forest of the night
Your secret heart belongs to the world
Of the things that sigh in the dark
Of the things that cry in the dark
- “Princess Mononoke” - Hayao Miyazaki; English translator unknown