Breaking Dawn: Chapter 24 - Surprise

[zelda_queen]

Projection Room Voices: Right, "Chapter Twenty-four, in which Bella and Edward see their new...erm living quarters and...celebrate Bella's birthday..."

ZeldaQueen: I'm going in!

Comments

[shaolina]

I still don't get the logic behind Emmet/Rosalie sex decade. Rose is a rape victim with no teraphy apparently living in a body she hates and was moved by Emmet because she reminded him of a baby. None of this screams sexy time at me.

"Yes, that is fairy tale-worthy if you're thinking of the Grimm Brothers with people being killed and hideously transformed and cannibalism and other horrific stuff, but you my dear are obviously thinking of Walt Disney fairy tales, with pretty flowers and singing princesses and bright colors. "

Nah, I give that to pre-Perrault fairy tales. Now that is gruesome. Sleeping beauty from either the Grimms nor Perrault (much less him) can compare to Sun, Moon and Talia. Nor can red riding hood and some of the beast-grooms tales I've read among many other. What creepy things people made up when they were bored...

[zelda_queen]

I think Meyer meant for Rosalie and Emmett to be her "sexy" characters, like how Alice was the chirpy cheerful one, Jasper was the pained, reserved one, and Carlisle and Esme were the parental, experienced pair. But you're right, Rosalie was raped and screwed over so much, that really ought to affect her sex life. The only thing I can think of is if a couple of decades is enough to get over it. As for Emmett reminding her of a baby, well that's standard fare for Twilight couples -_-

"Nah, I give that to pre-Perrault fairy tales. Now that is gruesome. Sleeping beauty from either the Grimms nor Perrault (much less him) can compare to Sun, Moon and Talia. Nor can red riding hood and some of the beast-grooms tales I've read among many other. What creepy things people made up when they were bored..."

Heck, what creepy things people come up with to keep kids from misbehaving! Still Grimm had some nasty ones (like "The Juniper Tree"). In any case, all of those are far closer to Edward than the watered-down vision Bella seems to have.

[shaolina]

Even so, I don't get the feeling these characters got over anything. Then again Meyer shows what's convenient for her.

And I hated the sex scene because it sounds more like they were beating each other up more than anything. It wasn't romantic at all... no sex in this story is.

Heck, what creepy things people come up with to keep kids from misbehaving! Still Grimm had some nasty ones (like "The Juniper Tree"). In any case, all of those are far closer to Edward than the watered-down vision Bella seems to have."

While the Grimms stories did had kids in mind, previous story tellers didn't. Fairy tales were told among workers when they were bored with... well work. And Perrault used to tell his to entertain the court in the 16 century (And the french being over sensitive and Politically correct when it came to stories Perrault created some of the "safest" versions known.)

[zelda_queen]

Right. Look at how well Meyer looked into developing her main couple. >_<

I know, and it's all purple prose-ish. At least it's not like we're hearing about them doing really weird, physically impossible sex though, like in awful fanfiction. I'd honestly rather have bizarre tame stuff than really explicit, nasty stuff. Of course, given the choice I don't really like to read sex scenes at all, so yeah... ^_^;

Really? Huh, learn something new every day! :) I guess values dissonance meant that people weren't so afraid to come up with such creepy stuff for entertainment. Whereas today if you tried to talk about stuff like that, people would either say that you're high or that you need therapy (or both).

[southerngaelic]

Yeargh.....

But hey! With them too busy fucking each other's brains out, I can stab them mid-coitus! :D

[zelda_queen]

Go for it! Hurry! We've still got time before Bella discovers her Sue-per power!

[kawaiicow]

Why the hell do Bella and Eddyface get the cottage? Aren't Jasper and Alice also living with Papa and Mama Cullen? And the description, oy. "Everything was different, but purfect!" Yeah Bella, most people don't have matching apliances. Whoop-de-fucking-doo for you. And she then tops it by admiring her bookcase for the way it looks, instead of, you know, for the books on it. It's strange she didn't mention the roof, I wonder if it's thach? *nudges petrol tank out of sight*

On another note:
"SUPRISE!" yelled Edward as he boned young Jacob up the ass.

[zelda_queen]

To be fair, Rosalie and Emmett got a cottage of their own. I guess Alice and Jasper didn't want one?

And honestly the way she described everything in there? Total Mary Sue descriptors. That one excerpt I posted, "My Inner Life", that's a fanfic written by some crazy girl who believed that she had a second life when she dreamed which involved marrying Link from "The Legend of Zelda", totally raping his canon in the process. Not a good comparison there, Meyer.

And XD!

[aikaterini]

/It's not like a vampire needs a car to get someplace./

Thank you! That's a question that's always bothered me in the series: why do the Cullens need cars if they're all super-fast and can probably outrun cars? Just in "Twilight" alone, Edward mentions how he took a car with a tank full of gas to travel to Alaska and here I was wondering, "Uh...why? You have super speed. Why do you need a car?"

/Wasn't that tasty smell supposed to be the reason he fell in love with her in the first place?/

Stephenie Meyer: No, it's not! It's because he can't read her mind! And because Bella's a good person! And because she's fine with the fact that he's a vampire and doesn't judge him for it! And... *rambles*

To think that some anti-Twilight fans had predicted that as soon as Bella became a vampire, her warmth and smell would be gone and Edward would have to struggle with the change. So much for some conflict. *sighs*

[zelda_queen]

"Thank you! That's a question that's always bothered me in the series: why do the Cullens need cars if they're all super-fast and can probably outrun cars? Just in "Twilight" alone, Edward mentions how he took a car with a tank full of gas to travel to Alaska and here I was wondering, "Uh...why? You have super speed. Why do you need a car

[sylvacoer]

*burying her face in her hands, torn between giggling and sobbing* Whyyyyy~ do my cousins LIKE this series, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~!??!!

But you have to admit, they really are made for each other - "We have kid, don't we? Who cares, let's see if we can flatten the house with our 'sexy-times'!" and yes those are "air quotes" in that because THAT SCENE IS JUST HORRENDOUS.

*wishes violently that it wasn't Lent so alcohol could make the pain go away* ):

[zelda_queen]

"Whyyyyy~ do my cousins LIKE this series, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~!??!!"

The same reason people like those goofy harlequin romance novels: Wish fulfillment. As stupid and wrong as this series is, it still appeals to the "I too want to find a hot guy who totally is devoted to me and live happily ever after" concept. In fact, this is probably wish fulfillment for the freaking AUTHOR.

"But you have to admit, they really are made for each other - "We have kid, don't we? Who cares, let's see if we can flatten the house with our 'sexy-times'!" and yes those are "air quotes" in that because THAT SCENE IS JUST HORRENDOUS."

Right. They're both irresponsible idiots. And I hate how much they get turned on by just looking at each other, given how Bella's attempts for sex as a human were patronized and seen as pitiful. Because vampires are just better at everything.

"*wishes violently that it wasn't Lent so alcohol could make the pain go away* ):"

Can you still have chocolate? *offers some*