Earl Harry James Potter: Chapter 3
ZeldaQueen: Hey there, everyone! I'm going to try to slog through this chapter and the next two. The rest should go by a lot quicker
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 3
Ranglock says to the group of teenagers "I will start with Ms. Weasley's inheritance ritual results first" then Ranglock grabs the piece of parchment from in front of Ginny to make a diamond shape design in the middle of the page using his fingernail to reveal the results.
ZeldaQueen: PUNCTUATION IS YOUR FRIEND!
In the meantime, Hermione asks everyone "Should we read the results out loud to each other?"
ZeldaQueen: No, you should communicate them via Morse code by humming into a kazoo
Ginny, Neville, Harry, and Isabelle say at the same time "Of course"
ZeldaQueen: Did they say it like this, perhaps?
but then Isabelle says "Maybe someone else should read our results instead of each other."
ZeldaQueen: ...Why?
Ranglock first reads the results before calling over another goblin named Bornok that was present in a whisper
ZeldaQueen: He's present in a whisper? How does he fit in there?
"Get the Prewitt & Walker files immediately." Then passes Ginny the results of the inheritance ritual, so then passes it to Neville.
ZeldaQueen: What did that sentence say?
Neville starts to read the first part of the results for Ginny out loud
ZeldaQueen: Okay folks, I'm going to try to make this as painless as possible. The suethor is going to go through a list that she's so fond of
Ginvera Elizabeth Prewitt
ZeldaQueen: Fantastic, another secret adoption
Born on August 11th of 1981
Father: Gideon Boris Prewitt (Died on August 10th of 1981)
Mother: Elizabeth Guinevere Prewitt nee Walker (Died on August 12th of 1981)
ZeldaQueen: ...You going to explain that, suethor?
Status: Pure-Blood
Inherited Titles: Viscountess Prewitt & Lady Walker
ZeldaQueen: NO, SHE'S NOT! STOP GIVING EVERYONE REGAL TITLES!
Ginny says in shock "The people who raised me are not really my parents but my uncle and aunt."
ZeldaQueen: (Ginny) "What is this, a cheesy soap opera?"
Harry tries to reassure Ginny by saying "At least they actually love you as one of their own not like the Dursley's treated."
ZeldaQueen: - him to ice cream
By Harry just saying that it allows Ginny to calm down enough for Neville to read the second part of the inheritance ritual to everyone else about the special abilities that Ginny has.
ZeldaQueen: My, she recovers from life-changing news rather quickly
Abilities
ZeldaQueen: She can sing like a charm
Animagi (horse - English Thoroughbred)
ZeldaQueen: Um, just because her patronus is a horse doesn't mean that she'd turn into one if she were an Animagus. And how could she be one without knowing it?
Natural Occlumency - blocked 100% on September 1st of 1992 by Albus Dumbledore
ZeldaQueen: There is no "natural occlumency"! And if there was, how could you block it?
Prodigy at Charms - blocked 50% on September 1st of 1992 by Albus Dumbledore
Gifted at Transfiguration - blocked 50% on September 1st of 1992 by Albus Dumbledore
ZeldaQueen: Same for both of those. And why is this being read along with wills?
Bornok returns with the requested files for Ranglock. Neville reads out the inheritance from the Prewitt and Walker family estates.
ZeldaQueen: She got nothing, because they weren't canon. Sorry!
Inheritance from the Prewitt Family
Prewitt Manor located in Wales (under Fidelius Charm by the former Viscount)
Prewitt Place located in London
Vacation Home located in Turin, Italy
Penthouse Apartment located in Miami, Florida, United States
ZeldaQueen: Why does the suethor think that the characters all secretly have manors and homes in other countries?
Family Vault = 10,000,000 galleons
Jewel Vault
*one seat in the council of Old Families, school governor, & wizengamot*
ZeldaQueen: How can she not be aware of this at all?
Inheritance from the Walker Family
Walker Manor located in Scotland (under Fidelius Charm by the former Lord)
ZeldaQueen: - Voldemort
Ski Chalet located in Luxembourg, Switzerland
ZeldaQueen: Yes, skiing in Luxembourg. Whee!
Penthouse Apartment located in Paris, France
ZeldaQueen: HOW THE FUCK MANY PLACES OF RESIDENCE DO THESE PEOPLE NEED?
Family Vault = 20,000 galleons
Jewel Vault
ZeldaQueen: So wait, if there's a branch of the family that's filthy rich, why don't the Weasleys have any of this? Wouldn't this Walker family make some arrangement, that their daughter's guardians would get money to take care of her?
*one seat in wizengamot*
ZeldaQueen: What, another?
Business Invsetments
Daily Prophet - 1.5%
Quality Quidditch Supplies - 1%
ZeldaQueen: Erm, is it possible to inherit a business investment?
*peers at it again* No, wait, it's a business "invsetment". Totally different, my mistake
Ginny says to everyone else "I never will to have to buy anything second hand again" but asks Ranglock calmly "Why could my mom I mean aunt access the Prewitt estate if she was born a Prewitt?"
ZeldaQueen: The lack of punctuation is driving me mad
Ranglock then explains to Ginny "The reason why Mrs. Weasley could not access the Prewitt estate is because she was never the family's heir it was your father the first born son and he passes it on to his child you."
ZeldaQueen: Wait, if their mother was a Prewitt, then how was the father also the first-born son of that family? Unless...yeah, not going there
Ginny asks Ranglock with sadness "Why did I go to my aunt Molly when my mother died?"
ZeldaQueen: Because the suethor was determined to rip canon for all it was worth
Ranglock tells Ginny "Your mother was a only child and both of her parents passed away before your birth."
ZeldaQueen: Even though by now we know that she had two brothers
Ranglock then grabs the piece of parchment from in front of Neville to make a diamond shape design in the middle of the page using his fingernail to reveal the results and places the parchment back in front of Neville who slides over to Ginny to read out loud:
ZeldaQueen: That run-on would make Halcyon proud
Neville Frank Longbottom
Born on July 30th of 1980
Father: Frank Alexander Longbottom (Declared Incompetent on November 6th of 1981)
Mother: Alice Chelsea Longbottom nee Meadows
(Declared Incompetent on November 6th of 1981)
ZeldaQueen: When was this inheritance thing written? If it was written when they were of sound mind (as they presumably would have had to have been to get the will authorized), how would that have been...
Oh, never mind. You could play ski ball with the plot holes in this thing
Status: Pure-Blood
Inherited Titles: Earl Longbottom & Duke of Hufflepuff
ZeldaQueen: HOW?
Everyone is in shock because Neville is heir of one of the founders.
ZeldaQueen: Just because he's good at Herbology doesn't mean that he's Hufflepuff's heir!
However, Ginny keeps on reading out his abilities that he has:
Abilities
Wandless Magic - blocked 100% on August 1st of 1980 by Albus Dumbledore
Occlumency - blocked 100% on August 1st of 1980 by Albus Dumbledore
Legilmency - blocked 100% on August 1st of 1980 by Albus Dumbledore
ZeldaQueen: You can't block those things!
And yet another suethor trying to "fix" Neville. Oh, he just was "blocked" by Dumbledore, somehow! Wasn't his fault he wasn't a great wizard from Day One!
Elemental (Earth) - blocked 100% until he becomes Duke of Hufflepuff
ZeldaQueen: Oh for the love of - THE WORLD OF HARRY POTTER DOES NOT HAVE "ELEMENTAL MAGIC"!
And how would it know if he took a title, anyway?
Animagi (Badger & Fox)
ZeldaQueen: You can only take one Animagi form, darlin'
Resistance to the Imperius Curse - blocked 100% on September 1st of 1994 by Albus Dumbledore
Prodigy at Herbology
Prodigy at Defence Against the Dark Arts - blocked 50% on September 3rd of 1994 by Albus Dumbledore
Gifted at Dueling - blocked 80% on September 3rd of 1991 by Albus Dumbledore
Gifted at Potions - blocked 100% on September 1st of 1991 by Albus Dumbledore
ZeldaQueen: I'm really trying to make this funny, folks. It just seems to spork itself, though
Hermione then asks Ranglock "Is there any way to remove the blocks?"
ZeldaQueen: (Ranglock) "No, because that's not canon!"
Ranglock explains to them "With seeing Viscountess Prewitt's results I have arrange for a goblin healer to come in and remove them."
ZeldaQueen: My, that was fast
A few seconds later Ginny starts to read out Neville's inheritance from the Longbottom and Hufflepuff families.
ZeldaQueen: So, he's the sole heir to the Hufflepuff family...wait? What.
Inheritance from the Longbottom Family
Longbottom Manor located in Scotland (under Fidelius Charm)
Penthouse Apartment located in The Amazon
ZeldaQueen: Because lord knows, that's a popular place for an apartment building
Penthouse Apartment located in Venice
Villa located in Salt Lake City, Utah
ZeldaQueen: Another fine vacationing spot
Family Vault = 900,000,000 galleons
Jewel Vault
*one seat in the council of Old Families, school governor, & wizengamot*
ZeldaQueen: The council of "Old Families"? What?
Inheritance from the Hufflepuff Family
Hufflepuff Castle - unknown location under Fidelius Charm
ZeldaQueen: Ha! Good luck finding that!
Owns 1/4 of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry
ZeldaQueen: Um, I don't think it works like that
Family Vault = unknown
Jewel Vault
Business Investments
Daily Prophet - 10%
Camp for Quidditch - 50%
The Best Chewy Factory - 100%
ZeldaQueen: I'm really, really sorry folks, but what can one say to make this any funnier than it already is?
Will everyone is in shock from learning about what Neville is set to inherited. Meanwhile, Ranglock orders Bornok to get the Hufflepuff file.
ZeldaQueen: Is that at all like the X-file?
A couple of seconds later after everyone recoveries from that shock. Ranglock then grabs the piece of parchment from in front of Hermione to make a diamond shape design in the middle of the page using his fingernail to reveal the results and places the parchment back in front of Hermione.
ZeldaQueen: Someone please, put these run-ons out of their misery!
Hermione then passes the results to Isabelle to read out to everybody . . . . .
ZeldaQueen: There'll be a ton more boring lists, I'm sure.
And ellipses only have three dots in them, you idiot
AN: PLEASE REVIEW
NEXT CHAPTER WILL INCLUDE: HERMIONE, HARRY, AND ISABELLE INHERITANCE RITUAL RESULTS
ZeldaQueen: OH, WILL IT? THANK YOU FOR THAT HEADS UP! I THINK I'LL SHOOT MYSELF, NOW!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Onward to: Chapter 4 (Part 1)
Back to: Chapter 2
Back to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 3
Ranglock says to the group of teenagers "I will start with Ms. Weasley's inheritance ritual results first" then Ranglock grabs the piece of parchment from in front of Ginny to make a diamond shape design in the middle of the page using his fingernail to reveal the results.
ZeldaQueen: PUNCTUATION IS YOUR FRIEND!
In the meantime, Hermione asks everyone "Should we read the results out loud to each other?"
ZeldaQueen: No, you should communicate them via Morse code by humming into a kazoo
Ginny, Neville, Harry, and Isabelle say at the same time "Of course"
ZeldaQueen: Did they say it like this, perhaps?
Click to viewbut then Isabelle says "Maybe someone else should read our results instead of each other."
ZeldaQueen: ...Why?
Ranglock first reads the results before calling over another goblin named Bornok that was present in a whisper
ZeldaQueen: He's present in a whisper? How does he fit in there?
"Get the Prewitt & Walker files immediately." Then passes Ginny the results of the inheritance ritual, so then passes it to Neville.
ZeldaQueen: What did that sentence say?
Neville starts to read the first part of the results for Ginny out loud
ZeldaQueen: Okay folks, I'm going to try to make this as painless as possible. The suethor is going to go through a list that she's so fond of
Ginvera Elizabeth Prewitt
ZeldaQueen: Fantastic, another secret adoption
Born on August 11th of 1981
Father: Gideon Boris Prewitt (Died on August 10th of 1981)
Mother: Elizabeth Guinevere Prewitt nee Walker (Died on August 12th of 1981)
ZeldaQueen: ...You going to explain that, suethor?
Status: Pure-Blood
Inherited Titles: Viscountess Prewitt & Lady Walker
ZeldaQueen: NO, SHE'S NOT! STOP GIVING EVERYONE REGAL TITLES!
Ginny says in shock "The people who raised me are not really my parents but my uncle and aunt."
ZeldaQueen: (Ginny) "What is this, a cheesy soap opera?"
Harry tries to reassure Ginny by saying "At least they actually love you as one of their own not like the Dursley's treated."
ZeldaQueen: - him to ice cream
By Harry just saying that it allows Ginny to calm down enough for Neville to read the second part of the inheritance ritual to everyone else about the special abilities that Ginny has.
ZeldaQueen: My, she recovers from life-changing news rather quickly
Abilities
ZeldaQueen: She can sing like a charm
Animagi (horse - English Thoroughbred)
ZeldaQueen: Um, just because her patronus is a horse doesn't mean that she'd turn into one if she were an Animagus. And how could she be one without knowing it?
Natural Occlumency - blocked 100% on September 1st of 1992 by Albus Dumbledore
ZeldaQueen: There is no "natural occlumency"! And if there was, how could you block it?
Prodigy at Charms - blocked 50% on September 1st of 1992 by Albus Dumbledore
Gifted at Transfiguration - blocked 50% on September 1st of 1992 by Albus Dumbledore
ZeldaQueen: Same for both of those. And why is this being read along with wills?
Bornok returns with the requested files for Ranglock. Neville reads out the inheritance from the Prewitt and Walker family estates.
ZeldaQueen: She got nothing, because they weren't canon. Sorry!
Inheritance from the Prewitt Family
Prewitt Manor located in Wales (under Fidelius Charm by the former Viscount)
Prewitt Place located in London
Vacation Home located in Turin, Italy
Penthouse Apartment located in Miami, Florida, United States
ZeldaQueen: Why does the suethor think that the characters all secretly have manors and homes in other countries?
Family Vault = 10,000,000 galleons
Jewel Vault
*one seat in the council of Old Families, school governor, & wizengamot*
ZeldaQueen: How can she not be aware of this at all?
Inheritance from the Walker Family
Walker Manor located in Scotland (under Fidelius Charm by the former Lord)
ZeldaQueen: - Voldemort
Ski Chalet located in Luxembourg, Switzerland
ZeldaQueen: Yes, skiing in Luxembourg. Whee!
Penthouse Apartment located in Paris, France
ZeldaQueen: HOW THE FUCK MANY PLACES OF RESIDENCE DO THESE PEOPLE NEED?
Family Vault = 20,000 galleons
Jewel Vault
ZeldaQueen: So wait, if there's a branch of the family that's filthy rich, why don't the Weasleys have any of this? Wouldn't this Walker family make some arrangement, that their daughter's guardians would get money to take care of her?
*one seat in wizengamot*
ZeldaQueen: What, another?
Business Invsetments
Daily Prophet - 1.5%
Quality Quidditch Supplies - 1%
ZeldaQueen: Erm, is it possible to inherit a business investment?
*peers at it again* No, wait, it's a business "invsetment". Totally different, my mistake
Ginny says to everyone else "I never will to have to buy anything second hand again" but asks Ranglock calmly "Why could my mom I mean aunt access the Prewitt estate if she was born a Prewitt?"
ZeldaQueen: The lack of punctuation is driving me mad
Ranglock then explains to Ginny "The reason why Mrs. Weasley could not access the Prewitt estate is because she was never the family's heir it was your father the first born son and he passes it on to his child you."
ZeldaQueen: Wait, if their mother was a Prewitt, then how was the father also the first-born son of that family? Unless...yeah, not going there
Ginny asks Ranglock with sadness "Why did I go to my aunt Molly when my mother died?"
ZeldaQueen: Because the suethor was determined to rip canon for all it was worth
Ranglock tells Ginny "Your mother was a only child and both of her parents passed away before your birth."
ZeldaQueen: Even though by now we know that she had two brothers
Ranglock then grabs the piece of parchment from in front of Neville to make a diamond shape design in the middle of the page using his fingernail to reveal the results and places the parchment back in front of Neville who slides over to Ginny to read out loud:
ZeldaQueen: That run-on would make Halcyon proud
Neville Frank Longbottom
Born on July 30th of 1980
Father: Frank Alexander Longbottom (Declared Incompetent on November 6th of 1981)
Mother: Alice Chelsea Longbottom nee Meadows
(Declared Incompetent on November 6th of 1981)
ZeldaQueen: When was this inheritance thing written? If it was written when they were of sound mind (as they presumably would have had to have been to get the will authorized), how would that have been...
Oh, never mind. You could play ski ball with the plot holes in this thing
Status: Pure-Blood
Inherited Titles: Earl Longbottom & Duke of Hufflepuff
ZeldaQueen: HOW?
Everyone is in shock because Neville is heir of one of the founders.
ZeldaQueen: Just because he's good at Herbology doesn't mean that he's Hufflepuff's heir!
However, Ginny keeps on reading out his abilities that he has:
Abilities
Wandless Magic - blocked 100% on August 1st of 1980 by Albus Dumbledore
Occlumency - blocked 100% on August 1st of 1980 by Albus Dumbledore
Legilmency - blocked 100% on August 1st of 1980 by Albus Dumbledore
ZeldaQueen: You can't block those things!
And yet another suethor trying to "fix" Neville. Oh, he just was "blocked" by Dumbledore, somehow! Wasn't his fault he wasn't a great wizard from Day One!
Elemental (Earth) - blocked 100% until he becomes Duke of Hufflepuff
ZeldaQueen: Oh for the love of - THE WORLD OF HARRY POTTER DOES NOT HAVE "ELEMENTAL MAGIC"!
And how would it know if he took a title, anyway?
Animagi (Badger & Fox)
ZeldaQueen: You can only take one Animagi form, darlin'
Resistance to the Imperius Curse - blocked 100% on September 1st of 1994 by Albus Dumbledore
Prodigy at Herbology
Prodigy at Defence Against the Dark Arts - blocked 50% on September 3rd of 1994 by Albus Dumbledore
Gifted at Dueling - blocked 80% on September 3rd of 1991 by Albus Dumbledore
Gifted at Potions - blocked 100% on September 1st of 1991 by Albus Dumbledore
ZeldaQueen: I'm really trying to make this funny, folks. It just seems to spork itself, though
Hermione then asks Ranglock "Is there any way to remove the blocks?"
ZeldaQueen: (Ranglock) "No, because that's not canon!"
Ranglock explains to them "With seeing Viscountess Prewitt's results I have arrange for a goblin healer to come in and remove them."
ZeldaQueen: My, that was fast
A few seconds later Ginny starts to read out Neville's inheritance from the Longbottom and Hufflepuff families.
ZeldaQueen: So, he's the sole heir to the Hufflepuff family...wait? What.
Inheritance from the Longbottom Family
Longbottom Manor located in Scotland (under Fidelius Charm)
Penthouse Apartment located in The Amazon
ZeldaQueen: Because lord knows, that's a popular place for an apartment building
Penthouse Apartment located in Venice
Villa located in Salt Lake City, Utah
ZeldaQueen: Another fine vacationing spot
Family Vault = 900,000,000 galleons
Jewel Vault
*one seat in the council of Old Families, school governor, & wizengamot*
ZeldaQueen: The council of "Old Families"? What?
Inheritance from the Hufflepuff Family
Hufflepuff Castle - unknown location under Fidelius Charm
ZeldaQueen: Ha! Good luck finding that!
Owns 1/4 of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry
ZeldaQueen: Um, I don't think it works like that
Family Vault = unknown
Jewel Vault
Business Investments
Daily Prophet - 10%
Camp for Quidditch - 50%
The Best Chewy Factory - 100%
ZeldaQueen: I'm really, really sorry folks, but what can one say to make this any funnier than it already is?
Will everyone is in shock from learning about what Neville is set to inherited. Meanwhile, Ranglock orders Bornok to get the Hufflepuff file.
ZeldaQueen: Is that at all like the X-file?
A couple of seconds later after everyone recoveries from that shock. Ranglock then grabs the piece of parchment from in front of Hermione to make a diamond shape design in the middle of the page using his fingernail to reveal the results and places the parchment back in front of Hermione.
ZeldaQueen: Someone please, put these run-ons out of their misery!
Hermione then passes the results to Isabelle to read out to everybody . . . . .
ZeldaQueen: There'll be a ton more boring lists, I'm sure.
And ellipses only have three dots in them, you idiot
AN: PLEASE REVIEW
NEXT CHAPTER WILL INCLUDE: HERMIONE, HARRY, AND ISABELLE INHERITANCE RITUAL RESULTS
ZeldaQueen: OH, WILL IT? THANK YOU FOR THAT HEADS UP! I THINK I'LL SHOOT MYSELF, NOW!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Onward to: Chapter 4 (Part 1)
Back to: Chapter 2
Back to: Table of Contents